why doesn't my cat like to be touched?

i love my cats like they are my kids and am very affectionate with them. the first one i got about five years ago and is affectionate in return. she wants to be around me all the time, sleeps next to me, sits in my lap, etc. the second one i got about a year ago. i got her as a young kitten from a friend who found her at three weeks old and took good care of her. she has never been abused. however, she hates being touched. she is extremely affectionate on her terms, i.e. she will rub against me or sit on my lap when she wants to, but she runs off whenever i try to pet her anywhere - head, back, etc. she absolutely hates being picked up. i have been trying for a year to get her accustomed to being touched, being very careful about the way i initiate petting, but she just hates it. are some cats just like this? is there anything i can do to change it? sorry if i sound crazy that this bothers me...

Asked by Member 854198 on Jul 12th 2009 Tagged petting, affection in Socialization
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Best Answer


Of couse it bothers you! You love your kitties and want their affection in return. Chances are, since this baby was found so young, she was never socialized by her mama. The fact that she at least allows touching and petting on her terms and will come sit on your lap is a good sign. If she hid all the time,hissed and clawed at you, that would be bad. Continue to let her come to you on her own terms. She may never be as affectionate as your other cat. Please don't take it personally. Cats, like people, are all different. My Delilah is the same way as your second kitty, growling and even biting if she's not "in the mood". I simply accept her the way she is. I certainly don't love her any less than my other 2 cats, I just love her more carefully and always on her own terms!

Delilah answered on Jul 13th.

Other Answers


Ivan the Impailer

I feel what you are going through. I also have a kitty like this. He is a 17 lbs, 3 yr old gray tuxedo. Trying to figure out the breed.

He does the same thing. in mornings or at certain times he will rub against my legs. he might let me run my had once or twice over his back, but then he runs away hissing like I invaded his space. If I try to pick him up, I better book a room in the hospital cause he will tear me up. I don't like to de-claw, but after 3 years of this, and countless amounts of scars, we are thinking about getting him declawed. He turns in an instant. Even trying to walk by him in the hall is a risky move.

You are not crazy. I have had my times I will cry because I want to be able to pet and love Ivan like I can my other cat Mamma, but he won't let me no matter what. It's frustrating. Especially when they are laying in a way that is just soooo cute and you just want to pet them.

Ivan the Impailer answered on 7/14/09. Helpful? Yes/Helpful: No 0 Report this answer