The 5 Stages of Sleeping With My Cat

My cat has a specific sleeping routine -- which means I can sleep on a small corner of one pillow.

I share my home with three cats, but Cosmo and I have a special bond. And by “bond,” I mean he follows me from room to room and rarely allows me out of his sight. And if he has the opportunity, he parks himself right on top of me or flattens his tuxie body against mine.

My little bookworm.

Even as I type this, he’s curled up on my feet. I just touched him with my toe and he made a little noise that I’m pretty sure means, “Let me know if you’re moving to another room because I will flip out if I wake up and you’re not here.” It’s amazing what one little kitty sound can mean, isn’t it?

Because of his intense affection toward me, he nearly always joins me at bedtime. He has a routine, so I’ve come to expect certain behaviors from him as the night progresses and turns into morning. Typically, there are five stages to sleeping with Cosmo.

1. Desperation

“You don’t love me anymore!”

I go to bed earlier than my husband, so I close the bedroom door. If I don’t bring Cosmo to bed with me right away, he desperately paws at the door until I allow him inside. I swear he works up a sweat.

2. Settling

“For now.”

He begins his bed occupation near my feet, on top of the covers. Occasionally he traps my footsies, which means I can’t change position. Other times he loafs himself and happily drifts off to sleep, waiting for his internal alarm to sound, notifying him to move into the third stage.

3. Side sleeping

“Getting closer.”

I keep a pillow beside me because I know Cosmo will eventually move toward the head of the bed. If I don’t grant him a pillow, he proceeds directly to stage five and jacks my pillow. I try to delay that stage as much as possible. Cosmo loves his private cushion and sometimes stretches a paw so he can touch my pillow. This is pre-stage-five activity.

4. Burrowing

The burrowing begins.

Sometime around three in the morning, he abandons his pillow and tunnels under the covers. I’m a light sleeper, and this tunneling wakes me up every time. His ultimate goal for stage four? Burrowing until his entire body under the covers and then turning around and stretching his warm, furry body flat against me. Although this initially feels cozy, I become overheated after some time has passed. Oh, and I’m trapped again, and often teetering on the edge of the mattress, hoping I don’t fall out of bed. 

5. Pillow jacking

The prize.

After I’ve had enough of my little feline heater, I nudge him out from under the covers, and he becomes restless. This is usually around 5 a.m., and I’d at least prefer another half hour of slumber. His go-to action is jumping off the mattress and meowing, not-so-gently urging me to drag my butt out of bed and feed his face. I’ve found only one solution to keeping him on the bed and allowing me a little extra shuteye, but it means relinquishing most of my pillow to His Highness. And there he stays until I’m ready to rise and shine.

I’ve found I can actually sleep on very little pillow — a little corner is all I require. Yeah, I sometimes wind up with a sore neck, but it’s a small price to pay for snagging a few more Zzzs. 

Does your cat have an overnight sleeping routine? Tell us about it in the comments! 

Read more by Angie Bailey:

About the Author: Angie Bailey is an eternal optimist with an adoration of all things silly. Loves pre-adolescent boy humor, puns, making up parody songs, thinking about cats doing people things and The Smiths. Writes Catladyland, a cat humor blog, Texts from Mittens (originated right here on Catster) and authored whiskerslist: the kitty classifieds, a silly book about cats wheeling and dealing online. Partner in a production company and writes and acts in comedy web series that features sketches and mockumentaries. Mother to two humans and three cats, all of which want her to make them food. 

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