Moo’s Musings: Humans Need to Learn to Speak Cat

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Oh hai! Moo here again. You said more Moo and mom listened!

I like to talk a lot. Like a lot, a lot, a lot. Sometimes I say the same thing over and over again, but I feel like I have to because mom just doesn’t get it.

I mean, I say “meow” and she says, “Oh really?” And then I say, “meow,” because that question doesn’t even make sense with what I said. And then she says, “Oh yeah? What else?”

What else?! We haven’t even talked about the first meow and already she’s rushing to the next topic. Sometimes I think she doesn’t even understand what I’m saying.

So, to help our humans out, I figured I’d make a quick little reference guide. Sheesh, it’s simple, moms and dads! Meow means meow. Learn it.

What Cats Say What Cats Mean
Meow I’m hungry.
Meow Wake up.
Meow Throw the mousie toy.
Meow Scoop the poop.
Meow My water needs refreshing.
Meow OMC! I caught the grossest lizard and I bit off its tail and left it in the living room and then I bit off it’s head almost (it’s still hanging on) and then I dragged it through the whole house in my mouth and then I left it next to your pillow on the bed and it’s going to be so funny when you go to lie down and see it!

See? It’s very simple. Just pay attention to us and you’ll know what we’re saying. But please, “Oh yeah? “Oh really?” and “Tell me more” that you moms and dad say is so silly. We know you’re not listening!

P.S. My birthday is coming up! It’s on HALLOWEEN.

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