7 Things That Help Me Cope with Grief After Losing a Cat

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Losing a cat is excruciating. In fact, I’m going through it and grieving as I write this. I think the loss of a pet and the grief process that follows is one of the hardest, most intense experiences we have to get through.

It’s not easy to prepare for grief, as each end-of-life journey is different. That being said, I’ve been through this a few times and have discovered that I do certain things to help me cope with losing a cat. Hopefully, some of these suggestions can help you navigate the grief process after the loss of a pet.

1. I celebrate the cat’s (whole) life

At the end of life, whether it’s prolonged or sudden, it’s easy to get caught up in the sadness and intensity of that current moment. Sometimes, when I’ve found myself in this place, I realize I’m not honoring the rest of the cat’s life. What about the amazing years or months I had with the cat? What about the funny things my cat did? Or the loving bond we had? What about the wonderful memories and stories of the cat? I try to focus on the life I’ve shared with the cat, even though it’s very easy to want to focus totally on the end of life.

A cat dressed up and being silly in a basket.

2. I find people who understand what losing a cat is like

Whether your cat has passed on or is likely to pass on soon, obviously you’ll want to be around people who understand. Now is not the time to take comments like “it’s only a cat” to heart. If you do run across someone who says something like this, try to breathe and let it go. You need your energy to get through grieving, not to get mad about ill-placed comments.

Instead, find people who understand and are respectful of your loss of a pet and the grief process, whether they love cats or not. A compassionate person and friend will give you the space and respect your need to grieve.

Two older cats hanging out together.

3. I take time to be alone, if I need it

Some of us like to share; others are intensely vulnerable when going through grief. I’m a little of both. Know yourself. If you need to be alone, honor that. It’s OK.

4. I understand that loss of a pet and grief is a powerful process

Sometimes, grief reminds me of the waves of an ocean. You’re feeling fine and then WHAM, some piece of grief hits you and you’re down, or crying, or both. I’m not sure why it is, but just knowing that this happens has made me prepared for when it happens again. I try to flow with it. Everyone grieves differently. We all grieve in our own time, and in our own way. Let it happen the way it needs to happen for you.

An orange and white cat hangs out on the beach in the sun.

5. I breathe (deeply)

This is a yoga tool, but it’s also a relaxation technique, which anyone can do. When you’re exhausted from stress or grieving, breathing deeply through your nose can really help relax you and restore your mind and body to a state of calmness. Even a minute or two of this has great benefits. I do this all the time during periods of stress, or if I’m grieiving the loss of a pet. From a physiological standpoint, this activates your parasympathetic nervous system (which induces relaxation) rather than your sympathetic nervous system (which is all about fight or flight). Try breathing deeply in any stressful situation or any time you find yourself holding your breath.

6. I’m good to myself and my body

I’m no good to my cats if I’m a mess. So even though it’s hard (grief is exhausting), I try to remember to be good to my body. I try to remember to eat good stuff (not junk), get outside, exercise, breathe — all good things for me. Find the good things for you and remember to do them.

A cat on a pier.

7. I honor the immensity of grief

It’s a big deal, and we all get to go through it. The sadness in grief is huge, but strangely, so is the joy. Celebrate these wonderful creatures we love, whether we’re going through life with them or whether we’re letting them go.

Read more about losing a cat and handling grief:

461 thoughts on “7 Things That Help Me Cope with Grief After Losing a Cat”

  1. I just lost my cat today, we had her for around 6 or 7 years. When we got her she was close to death but she survived. She was my best-friend through my parents divorce, we got her when my mom moved out and she never left me. As a couple of years went by we got 2 more cats, one of them was ran over on 01/12/2016, and I still cry over him now. My cat was killed today right outside the house, she was coming home for dinner and was hit by a car. Our neighbor was washing his car, saw it happen and did NOTHING! I felt so sad because we couldn’t save her, my dog saw her body and tried to clean her down. My other cat hasn’t really noticed it yet, but she has already been through the loss of on of her best-friends. Some idiots were saying that it was funny how she died, and that we will probably eat her, because apparently I am fat. But that doesn’t matter, we just went and got her cremated and now I am writing this (crying) chilling with my cat. If you are ever in a situation when your furry best-friend has died, I recommend crying it out, writing a diary entry to them describing how you feel, and try to do what you love, and you will soon cheer up. It will never go away, some things will pull on your heartstrings when you seem them, but it is completely normal. I wish all of you the best of luck grieving, and I am sorry for all of your losses.

    I love you Mouse ;( xo

  2. Hannah Roberts

    hello,

    I’m hoping writing this well help as I am inconsolable right now.
    Me and my partner got our kittens (2 brothers) back in October last year and they were our absolute life. The excitement we had to get home to our boys.. play with them.. love them and cuddle them.. we wouldn’t want to go out.. just stay in with them both… Buzz (who was killed) would play fetch and lift his arms up so we would pick him up and cuddle him.. he was the best kitten in the world… we decided to go on holiday for 10 days and whilst we were away all we talked about was our boys… our parents sent us daily photos of them and we couldn’t wait to get home to them! We were counting down the hours on the plane home…
    When we landed, we were told one of our babies was killed instantly by a car that very day… someone saw it happen and the car was going stupid fast! I literally can’t cope with the pain.. we had missed them so much for 10 days and were so excited to see them both… we had never imagined that our baby Buzz would not be there alive… we feel lucky as we got to kiss him goodbye and stroke him and bury him but it just doesn’t feel real… I am into the 5th day of grief and I just feel I can’t get over it… please can someone help me?! I don’t know what to do with myself and my partner is in bits too.. I worked from Home and Woody was always out but Buzz (who was killed) always kept me company…
    Please please tell me it gets better…

    1. Hi Hannah,

      We are so, so sorry to hear about this heartbreaking loss.
      Here are some articles that might help:
      https://www.catster.com/lifestyle/a-certified-grief-coach-talks-about-death-and-celebration
      https://www.catster.com/lifestyle/loss-of-a-cat-pet-death-grief-ever-go-away
      https://www.catster.com/lifestyle/loss-of-a-pet-cat-sudden-unexpected-death-grief-coping
      https://www.catster.com/topic/rainbow-bridge/
      Thinking of you and your family and sending hugs your way.

  3. Jerilyn the cat Mom

    Rest in peace my Angel 6/21/2018 woke up sick and died of an aortic embolism ,back legs quit on her and she was breathing fast, vomiting …….she was fine the night before..took her to the vet they told me it would be best to let her go, so let her go ……summer solstice and the end of my deeply loved cat of 17 years. I can’t stop crying today, I miss her sooo much. It was so sudden I was just not ready but knew the vet would say she is dying. Only good thing was that I could talk to her, pet her and say good bye , knowing she was loved beyond measure.

  4. Ian M Shaughnessy

    I just lost my little boy Chester last night. He was fine and then something happened. The vet said it wasn’t good. I miss him so much right now and can barely type through the tears but I need to say something.
    I miss you so much Chester. I’ve always felt lonely inside and you were always there to greet me on good days and bad. I love you so much and I miss you.

    Love,
    Ian

  5. We lost our sweet baby, Gingee 2 days ago. She was our everything. Our day started and ended with her. Any big decision was based on how would Gingee take it. We had her for 8 years. She was with us through many moves, even relocating from US east coast to Canada west coast. She was my support when we had to do a 2 year long distance relationship.
    She was the sweetest cat to us- everything that we ever wanted. Mostly non intrusive but let us cuddle her and would seek out affection when she wanted. Most of the time she would stare at us from across the room. She didn’t like most people and didn’t like being touched by others, but with us she was different. We would bury our face in her tummy, kiss her toe beans and she wouldn’t mind.
    These last few days have been hard. We knew something was wrong with her but we didn’t know what. We ran tests and ultrasound- the results showed that she had some pancreas and intestine problems but nothing major. But we still knew she was not herself her last few days. She died during a routine dental cleaning.
    I used to tell her that Mommy will take care of her. In the end, I couldn’t. I couldn’t save her.
    Our home is full of her memories. Everything around us reminds us of her. Her food and water bowls are still out- ready for her.
    Our only consolation is that she is out of any suffering that she might have been going through. I hope wherever she is now, she is in peace and happy. I hope that we meet again.
    Forever love, Mom and Dad

  6. I lost my boy Dusty 6/5/18. He was 17 years old. He was fine on Saturday, by Monday he was lethargic, not eating, and just mopey. We took him to the vet, and we were told that he was a sick boy, in renal failure, and would probably not make it another day. Now I know how a ton of bricks landing on you feels. We had little choice than to let him go. It was the hardest thing I have ever been through. I would break down and weep at random times. I miss him so bad it hurts. And then we got his ashes back.

  7. I just laid out my heart in this posting. Thank you all for sharing your joy and pain be it for a companion/friend that has been in your lives a short time or a long time. The grief and sadness is pronounced and real and it doesn’t matter what age or gender you are. Sharing lets us know it is ok to have these emotions. We want everyone to know what made our cat so special to us, the talents and tricks they brought everyday into our lives and how we loved them. I never realized the depth of the loss and the pain that could happen. Advice says we will remember the good, the fun and the joy – but always wishing they could have been with us longer. take care

  8. I had to put my baby Shakira to sleep yesterday. She develop an upper respiratory infection and only got worse. When I took her the vet the last time, they gave her more steroids. While in the car on our way back home, she wanted to jump but then suddenly she got really sleepy. She fell asleep in the car and she NEVER did that. Now I wonder if the steroids were more harmful then good to her. She hadn’t eaten for 4 days, I forced fed her but I felt bad on how stressed she got. That’s why I took her back to the vet where she got the steroids again. I miss her. My little companion of 16 years. She was with me through break ups and heartbreak, through disappointments and happiness. I miss her cute little face when I got home and her asking for food. I miss those lovable eyes. I miss my baby so much and I wish I could have done more. I pray I get to see her in heaven when my time comes.

  9. i lost my sweet angle yesterday….she was still a kitten. She loved me and the feeling was mutual. this kitten was like no other. she was sweet and quiet…. she loved to cuddle and play. ill never forget my sweet Bella

  10. Reading these posts are helping me. I am still in shock and cannot even write the words yet. R.I.P. my KiKi…..5/21/18.

  11. Jacqueline Rushforth

    Dear Bernadine, I am so sorry for your loss, of your dear Mittens.Having lost two of our much loved cats over the last 18 months, I really understand the pain and grieve you are going through. I hope , that like us, for you the loss and sadness will become a little easier, day by day.We will get though it.We are the lucky ones to have loved and be loved by these beautiful little souls.They will always be in our hearts.Please stay strong and you along with all who are grieving their little companions are in my thoughts.

  12. I lost my beloved cat Mittens last night, He had gotten very sick last year and was diagnosed with IBD and than got diabetes from the steroids he was prescribed. I faithfully gave him a shot twice a day one at 3:30 am and then at3:30 pm. He had improved so much he was jumping running up and down the stairs and his favorite thing was to sit outside in the sun. Just two days ago he stopped eating so I took him in to the vet. He was x rayed and said to have cancer and a huge tumor growing. The vet did not recommend going any further with treatment due to his age and cost and no guarantee it would work. We made the painful decision and now he is gone. I have been crying so much and no one seems to understand. I am thankfully for the tips on coping with the death of a cat. I just wish people would give me time to grieve and not try to force me to get over it. He was very special and important to me.

  13. Today my cat just died. His name was zero. He had slipped off of our tile sink and snapped his neck. I was asleep but my parents took him to the hospital but it was to late. When I was told this morning I was devestated and still am. I can really image that he died at the age 3. He was in perfect health, always got exercise. He was the best thing that ever happened to me. He didn’t deserve to die that way. I don’t know how to deal with this grief. If anyone can send me some tips on how please do.

    1. We are so sorry to hear this. This article might help give you some ideas: https://www.catster.com/lifestyle/grief-7-things-help-me-cope-with-losing-a-cat.

  14. I had to put my Kit Kat to sleep last night. He had a urinary blockage and the vet said they could maybe fix it if he got an expensive surgery, which had a low percentage of working. My care credit limit was way under what they wanted for the surgery. They wouldn’t do any payment plans.

    I’m a complete mess today. I’ve had Kit ever since he was 2 weeks old. I found him abandoned on the farm I used to work at, and I bottle fed him, too. I took him to the vet regularly and always made sure I kept dangerous plants and chemicals out of his reach. But in the end, it didn’t matter anyway. My baby is dead and there’s nothing I could have done to help him.

    I keep looking for him around the house. I keep expecting him to come over and sit by me and tell me it’s going to be okay, the way he would always do when I cried. . He’s not here. It’s like a part of me is dead, too. I don’t know if I’m ever going to get over this. I feel so empty.

    R. I. P. Kit Kat 5/14/2018

  15. It’s been two days since we had to put Oscar to sleep. he was 19 (about 133 in human years). He was losing weight and his fluffy self. He hurt his leg and was losing the ability to walk. I got to hold him and keep him warm for several hours and we took him to a hospital and they evaluated him. It was time. The doctor was so nice. He was in no pain and I held him until the injection went in and then held him as long as I could even after he was no longer with us. I still miss seeing him on the chair where I always said good night to him these last few months. I like to know that there is a special place in heaven for cats and dogs, and that they wait for us. I write Oscar a letter every morning. It makes it easier to switch into work mode, and it also let’s m shed some tears that need to flow. Thanks for reading this. I’m glad so many of us can share.

  16. Hachi was almost a year old, he was a beautiful Mixed Russian Blue. The last time I saw him alive was on April 10. We did everything to find him, though we still could have done so much more. When we got the call that they found a cat that looked like Hachi I was so happy though not long did they also tell us that he had gotten hit by a car. He looked so thin I almost couldn’t recognize him, I almost didn’t want to recognize him. It’s hasn’t even been a day and it hurts so bad, I still don’t want to believe he’s died, that he’s still alive and that he’s waiting for us to find him. We still had so many beautiful years.

  17. Just lost Simon he was 18,and 5 months old he had kidney disease for 3 years,he developed diabetes for 1 month,but meds wouldn’t work,he slowly lost weight, he was my best friend,for 18 years he was always there for me as I was for him,tough to let him go,he died in his sleep ,,RIP,my friend,

  18. Thank you for this, and for all of you sharing in the comments… It makes me feel less alone, less insane. We had to put my 15yo tabby, Ryan, down two days ago. He was slowly getting I’ll, wearing down. We had taken him in to the vets a number of times over the past few years with vomiting, joint problems, constipation, lumps, not eating (which was always worrisome as this was his favorite thing to do). Except for the joint issues ( he walked with a limp his hind legs were so bad), he always recovered. He was in early stages of kidney disease. So when he started vomiting last Wednesday, refused to eat, we all thought it was the same thing. I took him to the vet and the vet said his liver and his creatine were suddenly up, but didn’t know why. He said we could run some invasive tests, but he thought it was cancer. I took medicines home for Ryan, but over the weekend he got worse… Confused, disoriented, drooling, panting. His eye even turned from green to brown. And he continued vomiting, wouldn’t eat it drink. So on Monday, we put him down. It was only 4 hours later that I realized that I washed the damn floors with Pine Sol on Wednesday, the same day he got sick. With a lead stomach, I looked at the label: contains phenol. And in capitals: KEEP OUT OF REACH OF CHILDREN AND PETS. I thought back and remembered Ryan walking on the wet floor. Then I remembered him bathing on the couch late that morning. I can’t stop picturing him doing these things, so innocently. I’m so mad at myself, I know better than to use chemicals around pets – I have never used chemicals before… We just moved and I wanted the house to feel fresh. Stupid. I am so mad at myself. Why couldn’t I figure out what was making him sick until after he was dead? I keep having waves, I feel guilty, I feel as though I failed him. He was the best cat – he would sit in anyone’s lap, lick noses, snore louder than any other cat, stare at the sink and lick his lips when his water dish was empty, yell at me when he was hungry… He was just so amazing, from the moment I took him in as a stray. He didn’t deserve to go out like that.
    Anyway, thanks for listening and for letting me get this out. Ugg.

  19. This article is truly helpful. I lost my best friend today, Sage. She turned 14 years old yesterday. She was so amazing!!! As I’m cleaning up her litter box and food I try to focus on her through all the stages from kittenhood to the later years!! But its tough :((

  20. I just lost my precious Maïlikki (17 years) this morning. My ex, who is still a very good friend, adopted her when she was just a kitten, and I lived with her for 7 years, The vet said there was nothing to be done, as her kidneys had stopped working. Everything went so quickly. I feel devastated and unable to function. I realize she was a big part of my life, a true comfort when I was sick or sad, a dear presence. Seeing her little body rest on the vet’s table broke my heart, and I can’t just think about anything else. She was such a sweet, talkative cat. Reading all of you messages made me feel less alone. My sincere condoleences to everyone who lost a cat.

  21. My 3 years old tom “Neo”, dearest friend and companion, fell from the 10th floor and found dead on the ground . We are devastated with the loss and finding it very difficult to cope with the sudden demise. He was the world to shower his unconditional love . Morning 4.30 to 6.30 was exclusively with me as I use to make early morning tea and serve his is favorite wet food, he never use to disturb me and use to watch me from distance while i do my Yoga and meditation.

    I still remember, he was 1 month old when my elder one brought him from his friend’s place, and we were reluctant to keep him as we never had any experience of living with a pet. It was my younger one who was responsible for him accepting as a pet as he cried like mad to keep him. But very soon he became the darling of the house. The cute little Neo was all around the house doing all sorts of mischievous activities and we all loving it. He use to sleep with us in the night, hide himself in the wardrobes and the comforter, sit above the refrigerator and tries to get in to the kitchen cupboards. All in all he was the most positive and signing member of the family.

    But his sudden death has created a vaccuam, none of us are able to cope. I dont know when shall we be able to get over….he is in our thoughts and dreams all over. Bye NEO

  22. It’s been 5 weeks since we lost our adored cat to a sudden illness. He was only 10. Your description of grief as like waves in the ocean is apt. I thought I was ‘over’ the worst of it. But not to be. Today I’m at work and am an absolute mess. I honor Perry today with my tears.

  23. I lost my 10 month old cat to FIP last week it was so hard. I had only had her a few months but she became my world we did everything together and she was always there to be my best friend but suddenly she was gone. The only warning I got was a few days of picky eating followed by about a week of periodic coughing. All the vets I called said it was nothing to worry about but if I was really worried to set up an appointment I set up a vet appointment. Before the appointment could even happen she just died. She was my very first fur baby and I still blame myself for not seeing it as the emergency that it was. I only wish I had been able to have her put down she was suffering so much in her last few hours. I am completely lost without her

  24. My cat, Tiger, is 16 years old. He has been diagnosed with lymphoma cancer at an advanced stage. He’s lost quite a bit of weight, but he is eating a teeny bit and drinking water. I am treasuring every moment that I have remaining with him, but I will not let him suffer. I will have to make a decision very soon. The pain I have is immense, and I am going through all of the sadness that your comments have expressed. I do thank this site for the steps of getting through the grief. Most of all, the part of celebrating his life. Tiger got me through some very difficult times. Our pets give us such unconditional love. They are truly one of the greatest gifts to us from God. I love my little boy and will miss him so terribly. I’m crying now as I write this comment. He sleeps next to my wife and me every night. We have been so blessed to have him in our family. Thank you for letting me share.

  25. Almost a year ago, we had to put down our 15.5 year old Birman, Bashan. He was my soul. I have cried every day since then. About three weeks ago, out of nowhere, our 9 year old Maine Coon, Sundarian, got sick. He has bone marrow disease which is causing non-regenerative anemia. He is losing weight quickly. I just can’t put down another fur baby, just a year after Bashan’s death. I keep praying that the treatment will stimulate the bone marrow to produce red blood cells. My heart is just breaking. I can’t let him go.

    1. I just lost my baby girl today at 18. I brought her to the vets her stomach seem to been extended and she was not eating and not drinking as much water as she normally would drink she was on pain medication for her a rheumatoid arthritis. The dr.taken fluid out of her stomach and said she definitely had cancer and that she was going down Quik. she was not suffering today but I would be bringing her back in within a few days we made that decision to put her down. And I am so devastated. I did not stay in the room with her when they gave her her rejection to put her to sleep and I wish now I had. My regret I’ll carry for the rest of my life. I can’t stop crying thinking of her she just kept looking at me like she knew something was happening I can still see her beady little eyes she was such a beautiful black person. My condolences to you and I can relate to how you are feeling.

  26. I had to have my 15 year old little boy out to sleep on 13th March. I am beside myself with grief and simply cannot function. He had a tumour on his neck that my vet said they couldn’t operate on due to the location. His kidneys had also started to go. I feel so guilty now that I did not get a second opinion and could have done more. I loved him so very much. He was always there for me during the bad times. My home just feels an empty shell now. I am frightened I will never get over his loss, the grief is so intense. I’m so sorry for everyone else who is going through this too.

  27. Miss Sheila Esme Helena Wright

    Lost our 14 year old cat FLUFFY on 9/3/18 – diagnosed with diabetes last year and a month ago after having 2 teeth out, suddenly started vomiting and not eating – numerous vet visits later they eventually did an x-ray and found a huge tumor on his pancreas / duodenum and into his stomach – crushed and heartbroken that he went through such terrible pain in his last month – not sure how to get past this (ANGER) stage – (vet should have done x-ray much sooner) – missing him in every corner of the house (he was born here) – Sheila & Noreen BULAWAYO

    1. Sheila, I lost my cat of 13 years on June 16 2017. I still hurt b/c I’d hoped she’d live at least two more years. The vet bills were high and I don’t think they were completely honest with me on the front end. My cat was eventually diagnosed with cancer, but I think they knew all along. All we can do is cherish the good memories and ask God to take care of our beloved pets til we meet again. They are at peace and want us to be at peace, too.

  28. My little boy just went to kitty heaven. I am so lost now. He was 19 years 8 months old. He was such a good boy. I’m lost. I didn’t realize how much of my life centered around him. When home he would always be by me, I would be feeding him, playing with him, he would be lounging by me or close to me, etc. In the last year of his life I had to really baby him, give him subcu-fluids, get him steps to get up on the couch, keep him warm, prepare special food…… but I didn’t care, he was my little boy. It just sucks not having him after living half my life with him. Sure, I have lost pets before but he was the first pet I owned on my own and not one my family had. I raised him from the moment I picked him up as a kitten where he was in a barn on a small hobby farm. All his siblings died of cat leukemia, or at least that is what I was told. He survived because I took him home and cared for him. I miss him so much.

    1. I have just lost my cat tonight and am wondering too how we go through the motions of a lighter life without that precious companion.

    2. Hi Andre – I know exactly how you feel – my beautiful puss died on 19th February. I got up as usual in the morning but he had died in his sleep overnight. I am heartbroken – he was my only companion and was such an affectionate boy – we loved each other dearly. He was my whole world. It helps in a way to know there are other people out there going through the same grief. Thinking of you. Sue

      1. I came home from work Tuesday afternoon to find my heart, my life, my precious little girl, Ms Lucy had died. She was her normal happy self when I left for work. She was only 10. No illness, no injuries, no health conditions. I am beyond devastated and physically ill. My little boy, Mickey is lost and wondering where his companion is. I can’t get past the fact that she died without warning. WHY!!!!!!!!!!!

    3. Oh, I feel you! Find peace in knowing that your cat fully knew of your love and appreciated being with you in the hard days, as well as the good ones.

  29. Tigger would have been 18 in June. He moved from Washington State to Utah with me. He went through my divorce. He went through my unemployment time when I lost my job of 14 years. He was with me when Purrdita and Shasta died. Tigger was with me longer than any of my animal friends. He was friendly and curious and lively and energetic. The last two months of his life his lush tail started to thin out. He started losing weight. He started having problems climbing up on the bed or the couch to be with me. I only had to fill up his bowl about once a week instead of once a day because he didn’ t each very much. I knew he didn’t have much time. On February 26 I came home from work and he did not greet me. I found him laying on the floor by the kitchen table and he had his left front paw on the chair. I thought he was dead. I walked over to him to pick him up. He turned his head and looked at me so I knew he was alive. I put him down on all fours and he collapsed. I tried again and I could see he could not stand on his feet so I wrapped him up in a towel and took him to the vets where he was put down. This time I came home alone. There was not a cat waiting for me. In the past when I lost a cat there was always a cat at home waiting for me to mourn with me and be with me but not this time.

  30. I am also grieving the loss of my cat, Maxwell. He died the morning of February 21st at the age of 18 years old. He basically died in my arms! I keep reliving that moment! The look in his eyes and oh how I wish I could go back and have just one more day with my sweet baby! I adopted him from the local spca in June of 2000. He was a gorgeous long haired orange and white colored persian cat. He even had his own facebook fan page with over 2000 friends! HA! many more friends than I will ever have! Everything I did was for him. In fact, for 18 years I never traveled anywhere unless he could go with me..
    He truly was my heart and soul and the pain of him not being here is killing me!
    I am trying so hard to get up and get going. I am ok for an hour or so and then I freak out again and start crying uncontrollably.. How am I suppose to go back to work like this? How much time do I allow to grieve.
    Thanks for this post . It is soothing to read the posts here from others who are going through this, however, my heart breaks for each and every one of you.
    I honestly don’t know if I will ever get over this. I just pray it gets a little easier. I truly am not functioning like a normal person right now.
    thanks for reading. prayers to all of you.

    1. Deanna J – Oh, I feel your pain deep inside my soul. I can’t come to rest and it is so difficult to be without my Phingsie and you without your special catty!…my tears does’nt stop and that’s the moments of thoughts that comes and goes. I went to the doctor and is on heavy ant – dep now for the 6 th day…. I wish we all can come together and hug each other, till the pain and emptiness heals!!! – It is so unfair!!!

    2. I understand. My 12 year baby died this evening after an Illness that came on suddenly but we battled for 2 plus months. Now how do I fill the places in my home and heart where he isn’t. I’m afraid to go to sleep because then I’ll wake and it’s tomorrow and that’s a day he no longer exists upon.

    3. You sound exactly what I am experiencing. I cannot accept the fact that I will not see my Ms Lucy anymore. The daily routines, our little rituals … feeding time, cookie time, grooming, all of it. This house is hollow, empty. My heart is beyond broken. I’ve had laryngitis for 4 days now from the crying and screaming. How do we cope????

  31. Booty McBootface died today. He has feline lukemia. He wasn’t even one, but he had all oF the signs – no appetitive and skin was jaundiced. We got him from a shelter and seemed fine. We only had him 60 days, but he added so much joy to our lives. He was as good a pet companion as you could ask for.

    We had to put him to sleep earlier today- he couldn’t even move and was going to the bathroom on himself and was losing weight. Liver and kidneys were failing. He just never had a chance. He was a good boy who had a hard life. We have home 60 days of love he otherwise wouldn’t have had. He was never playful but he sure liked to curl up on you when you were reading or watching tv.

    We miss him so Much. Just feel empty. I guess he is with Mookie, Orangius, Boats and Kitty.

  32. Friday 6.30 I had to put my cat to sleep 4 years old he had blocked tubes surgery went garenteee as a cure vet said that it could happen again after surgery Crystals. He was in so much pain and discomfort vet said if I don’t put him to sleep he would died a painful death and would be gone before the night was over. I miss him so much and feel really terrible I feel I didn’t give him the chance of life with surgery.. but for it not to be gaurenteed to fix this problem I couldn’t put him through such pain any more.. i cannot stop crying it happens in waves one min I am okay and the next balling my eyes out. I want him back!! He was only four.. I feel stupid for crying all the time I want to be strong for my kiddies cannot talk about him or anything. I feel alone.. I hope you are all okay and I feel all your pains..

    1. I am grieving intensely, loosing my 15 yrs old/young partner kitty. In 2015 she lost weight and took her to the Vet…diabetes but the fool of a Vet did not take x-rays. I admin the necessary medication and 4 Feb 2018 she was struggling breathing – rushed her to the same Vet and she stayed for 3 days, getting treatment such as oxygen etc. Two weeks later the same happen..rushed her back to an other Vet, the same firm…he took x-rays and cancer covered nearly her entire lungs!!!….I had to let her go..she was so brave. This catty helped me trough a lot of emotions during our time together..she spoke to me continuously, must have being 50000 times and gave her also so much kissies…were I went she went, where she went I went….she was my baby…I miss you soooooo much my Phingsie….Please, come back..you were still so full of life….( If that Vet took x-rays in 2015, we could have saved and extended your life, painless!!!) My grief is unbearable!! Your Pappa Anton ( 19/02/2018 )

    2. I feel your pain. I had to put my cat to sleep yesterday, and can’t stop crying too. It was so sudden. She wasn’t eating and was going to the bathroom on herself. The vet said she had a grapefruit sized tumor pushing on her bladder. I now regret what I did because I feel like I could’ve had a few more days with her.. I wish I had a better and longer goodbye with her. I hate the emptiness in my heart and back in my apartment. I keep thinking it’s a nightmare and she’s going to run out to greet me. I hate this feeling. I miss her so much.

      1. I also feel your pain, intensively!!…I feel the same way, a deeeeeeep emptiness in my heart and soul….why ‘o why, Dear Lord????????????????????????

  33. It’s a week today that my beloved Tommy collapsed and died. He would have been 6 yrs old today. I am heartbroken, devastated, and so so sad. It was so sudden and such a shock, one minute he was sleeping peacefully and the next moment he was collapsed on the floor and dying. The vet tried to save him but he was gone. I cry all the time, I am trying to keep busy but the sadness is overwhelming. I think of all the happy good times, but I want to bury my hands in his fur and hold his paws, I want to hear and feel him purr and head butt me. He was always around and loved being at home, he came in every night for his super and fuss befor curling up to sleep. I miss him so much , will I ever stop crying?
    Not many people understand how I feel, and when I tell someone about Tom they tell me about what happened to them and don’t listen to what happened to My Tommy, so I finish up just hearing about there experience and feel even wort.
    I loved him so much, he was so much a part of our family I am heartbroken……..

    1. I feel for you Dawn!!!…I am also grieving the lost of mine…can’t stop crying…I miss her….sorry Dawn, my tears and yours follow the same path……

    2. I feel you,
      My precious Hamish died suddenly last night.
      He was a beautiful, sweet, funny and loving ginger tabby.
      He was perfectly healthy but last night he tumbled off a chair and looked like he was having a seizure I scooped him up and he died in my hands :(
      We are all devastated!! He has a beautiful baby sister Nessie and it breaks my heart that she’s looking for him all over the house. All I can think about is how we will miss his sweet face greeting us at the door when we come home.
      The only thing that’s giving me comfort is that I know he knew how much we loved him and we knew he loved us back.
      I wish you peace in your time of grief

  34. I lost my 18yr old “Bear” 2 days ago. The pain is intense. He slept with me every night and now there is such an emptiness at night. His sister is still with me but so different in personality. I know her time will be limited also due to her age but I plan to make her time with me as comfy as possible. She notices a change in the house but since they didn’t get along, she’s more relaxed. I miss him so much.

    1. I’m about to lose my 18 year old cat as well. I’ve had him since I was 7 years old and I’m completely devastated. I spend quite a bit of time crying throughout the day. This thread helps a little.

      1. I’m so sorry Ceili. I hope you cherish your final days with him/her. Just remember that your cat knows you loved him/her even if they can’t tell you directly. Cherish every moment you have/had and cherish the memories. I know it sucks, I’m there with you right now. I’m good one minute, crying the next. Turn to look for my little boy and then realize he isn’t there and never will be again. I’m so sad and lost and I think this is normal for people like us that love something so much. God Bless.

    2. I feel you pain, my cat Daisy of 21 years became so weak and sick. It was so hard to let her go, she will live in my heart forever.

  35. I can’t believe that I had to say goodbye to my boy, Artie, two days ago. He was the best cat ever, a smart and stoic guy who somehow became my solace and confidant. He was beautiful, soft, cuddly and loving. He helped me survive some awful times and promised to be curled up on my feet forever. He was only 12. What do I do now? I miss him so much.

    1. My heart goes out to you , the empty space our best friends leave behind when they go is indescribable and nothing prepares you for it. I have found that talking to people who love their pets as much as you loved yours definitely helps and I am trying to think of all the happy years we had together all the fun and our special bond . Kèep the faith and take care.

      1. Thank you RT. It does help to write about it here. And to think about the good times, even though that also makes me miss him even more….

      2. My beautiful Burmese cat Charlie who has been with me for 20 happy years went over the rainbow bridge on Monday. The house is empty without her and my heart is full of sadness and unimaginable grief. Charlie maybe gone from my side but she left a lifetime full of happy memories that I will treasure forever, memories of a gentle, funny, posh girl who will remain in our hearts forever RIP young lady and Thank you for being you x

          1. Thank you cy for those kind words. Artie will be forever in your heart and may be one day in the future you could give a loving home to another amazing cat who will fill your home with joy again. We are all sad right now but we are also the lucky ones who got to share our lives with these amazing little characters I wonder if they know the immense joy they bring to our lives?

    2. I understand your grief and sadness over loosing Arty. God knows, I have lost way too many pets over my 71 yrs of life, and it never gets easy to loose any of them. After loosing one, I have often said “no more pets” as the hurt and sadness doesn’t get any easier. I have 6 cats of my own, and I take care of 7 or 8 feril cats up the road from where we live, and now, one of them is missing (my favorite, of course!) and it breaks my heart. I still feed the others every day, but its hard now going up there and knowing my favorite will not be there. You had Arty for quite a long while as 12 years is a lot, and I guess you need to try to remember the good life you provided for Arty. I believe with all of my heart that there is a “Pet Heaven” or even when we are gone from this life, that we might see our pets there too in heaven that were part of our life. Take care, God bless, and I’ll say a prayer for you, and Arty too!!

      1. Thank you Harold. I’ll wait till I meet him again, that is comforting. Hope your favourite feral cat comes back soon. Take care,

    3. I am so sorry for your loss and I know just how you are feeling mine is still so raw I lost my cat Rocky last July 26th and I cannot get over the guilt at having him put to sleep. We had taken him in from the owner when she moved away, I had known him for 6 years even then looking out for him as he was left out all day when she went to work, we took him in in 2015 he was 13 yrs old when we had to have him put to sleep after only living with us for 2 years he was so happy and content, and able to come and go anytime night or day. He started making a grunting/snorting noise not thinking it was anything serious I never took him to the vets right away leaving it for a few months and not wanting to upset him by keep going to the vets when he was due for him booster within a few weeks, upon taking him for his booster vet asked how long he had been making these noises I said about 5 months, he was given antibiotics and steroids for weeks but it never helped xray done it came back as ENTEROCOCCUS Mucus in his throat still medication did not help then one of his eyes became fully dilated visit to vets yet again she said it was fine, later I read this is a sign of a stroke more medication still no better could not clear the mucus then he stated loosing weight back to vets, check him he had lost weight low temp low heart rate mentioned referral yet again vet had mentioned this a few times and each time said we might not find a reason or we might find something we cannot treat and their is no guarantee, so on their advise we had him put to sleep, it was not the cost of the referral we would have gladly paid for it but to be told their was no guarantee what do you do, I am so guilty not giving him more time but referral he did not have time to wait for a referral date let along go through more investigation. Why did I not wait a while longer but I my own mind I know he did not have time to wait. Sorry if I have gone on too much about how I am feeling. I really do understand how you are feeling. Linda Fraser Scotland.

  36. I lost my best friend Milo today I had to make the hard choice to put him asleep. Bone cancer on his nose pushed at his eye and nose. He started to show sinus issues badly this past week and constantly was mouth breathing. I feel he wasn’t ready I know I was not. I just hope I made the right choice because I miss him so much. Nearly 20 years by my side and now he is gone.

      1. Caroline stewart

        Tell me about it . We had our cat put to sleep a few days ago . It hurts so much all I can do right now is cry

        1. Christine Lynch

          I had to put my cat to sleep a week ago.. kidney disease…did everything but wasn’t getting better..and I’m still grieving… everyday I will cry over her.. And yes I want her back

    1. So very sorry for your loss. I said goodbye to my dearest friend Charlie a brown Burmese on Monday night, right now I can’t stop crying there is a big hole in my life. I’m hoping soon I will be able to focus on all the amazing times we have shared and the amazing bond we had.

    2. Hi William

      Can I ask you if your little cat had a croaky meiow. I suspect that my cat Benson had something like a nose tumour as he started mouth breathing and sometimes making a small noise when breathing. He had kidney disease and was losing weight, near the end he did the mouth breathing and I got them to check his bloods and it came back ok for the kidney disease, no hyperthyroidism and no diabetes. But the mouth breathing and loss of purr and croaky meiow always makes me think he had a tumour in his nose area. I would be grateful for more information you can give me on the symptoms. In the end we watched for 5 days of the intermittent mouth breathing and he was just not comfortable and making weird crying help noises that it was kinder to put him to sleep. Any information would help. Thank you.

  37. I have just learned that my baby, Scooter, who is 17 has a heart murmur. I researched this and realized that it doesn’t get better. Reading this post has been helpful in that I am not alone in what is to be inevitable. I am crying now as I write this just reading your stories of love and all you enjoyed with your kitties. Scooter was adopted at 8 months and we have been inseparable ever since. Every time I look at him, I cry a little. I know I will be inconsolable when the time comes. Thank you for sharing your feelings. And thank you for allowing me to share mine.

  38. I never thought I would find myself here. Yesterday at 4:17 PM we had to let out 15 year old cat Pitagoras go. He was suffering from severe anemia, kidney failure due to a poisoning attempt 3 years ago and mouth sore due to a compromised immune system (he had FIV).

    For months we tried everything money could buy , then the mouth sores came and he stopped eating. In his later years he had become skinny but in mere days he went from 3.3k to 2.8. He was all skin and bones on his last days he couldn’t walk straight, wouldn’t eat and started to wet himself.

    Still he was very vocal of going outside to his favourite spots. 2 days ago he stopped drinking as well, he wouldn’t drink unless I cupped my hands for him under the faucet. And I swear to whoever is reading that I would have done so for years if it meant having him around.

    His vet who saw him for more than 10 years was heartbroken as well but the blood tests revealed his urea levels were very high, his erratic behaviour and weakness came from poisoning. She suggested hooking him up to a IV with a little of anaesthetics in order to hydrate him, but she admitted it would only give us a couple of days.

    Pitagoras was a noble, strong and proud soul so in the end we decided to trade his pain for ours. We decided to do it outside where he loved to sun bathe. I was a crying mess but I tried to calm down when the first drops of anaesthesia was administered so he would hear my wails as the last thing in this realm.

    I tried to gently stroke his head and call out his name, he was such a spoiled kitten. He was so weak that no sooner than the first drop entered his system he lowered his head gently and stopped breathing.

    I don’t know how I will live on without my best friend. Despite having other cats and a family my house feels empty, I feel like this isn’t real, that this can’t be happening. I will miss him more than words can describe.

    I wanted to write this because I want people to know how much he meant to me, that he was loved. I feel like I failed him but deep down I think it was for the best.

    His name was Pitagoras and he died how he lived, surrounded by people who loved him.

    1. So sorry for your loss, I lost my Samantha Oct. 4, 2017 all of a sudden to diabetes ketoacidosis, never saw it coming, she was my little angel. I have six more beautiful furbabies that I love dearly, the pain of losing Samantha is so deep, just needed to get it out

  39. Hello fellow cat lovers
    Three days ago my beloved cat of 15 years died suddenly. I am in the throws of grief and sorrow that feels like it will never end. I cannot imagine a life without his sweet presence in it. He was an adorable affectionate cat, who loved his family as much as we loved him. They say that cats are aloof. I disagree. Chasey boy, that was(is) his name, showed his love and affection in ways that would warm anyone’s heart. Even people that say they do not like cats. (likely they have never known one) One thing that I will really miss is our walks. When I would walk our dog, Coco…he would come too. He loved it. Oh yes it meant that he would wander a bit , up onto someone’s driveway or across their landscaping stones. Do a little exploring, dawdle a bit. But then I call him and he’d trot up. Stopping a few feet behind us, until we started walking again. I figured he didn’t want anyone to think that he was actually being walked. The whole trip was his idea of course. And we would walk, as he got older the walks got a little shorter, but he loved them. The neighbors got quite a kick out of it because it isn’t often that you see a person walking a dog and a cat. Moments like these and many more are what I am going to miss so much. I am hoping to get to the place where they are sweet, wonderful memories instead of the gut wrenchingly sad ones they are on this day. It’s funny you know, how a creature so relatively small can be such a huge presence in a home. They have personality ten times larger than their bodies. And they are all unique. I am so going to miss my boy’s antics. I am going to miss how he would crawl in my bed in the wee hours of the morning and paw at the covers so he could get underneath them and cuddle next to my chest. Will I ever look at another Christmas Tree without yearning to see hime curled up underneath it? I hope the memory of his sweet face, with his large, kind eyes never fades. What I wouldn’t give to look into them one more time. I am going to miss you, Chasey boy, for the rest of my life.

    1. Pam , my thoughts and prayers are with you,your dear cat and everyone else on this site, who like ourselves have had the honour and great pleasure of sharing our beautiful cats lives. They are all super individual little characters.We sadly had to say goodbye to our darling Bella on the 15th January 2018.Bella was an orphaned kitten and hand reared , by a Cat Protection friend.As my husband and myself had adopted a cat previously from her she said Bella was very special and she wanted special people to adopt her.Bella became part of our family when she was 8 weeks old and as we are near a busy road was an indoor cat.At the age of 9 years, Bella was diagnosed diabetic.With regular blood checks, at the vets and insulin injections (twice a day) Bella was doing well.She never minded the injections and would come running, when my husband called her, to have her injection. I still see her sitting on her giant pedestal, cat scratcher awaiting her insulin. 7am and 7pm come rain or shine.Then out of the blue on Monday 15th January, Bella, vomitted and made a terrible noise and without distressing you or any other cat owners had gone totally blind and we also think she had lost her hearing.Whether our darling had suffered a stroke or her diabetes had finally won we will never know.Our vet said there was nothing to be done and we did not want such a beautiful, kind, strong willed girl to suffer.We had to say goodbye.It is all still very raw, and still many tears.I try to comfort myself and my husband in saying she had everything money could buy and was a much loved girl. We still have 2 cats but still the house is empty. One of our characters is missing.Please Pam, I hope you will gain comfort in knowing I know how strong the grieve is, along with other bereaved cat lovers on this site, Day by day we hope we can get stronger to cope and celebrate our cats lives .Bella was 13 when she died.

      1. Thank you so much for your kind words. My deepest sympathy for the loss of your dear Bella. The fact that you cared for her with diabetes all those years is a testament of your love and devotion to her. It doesn’t always happen and sometimes people just don’t have the means. The memories of my sweet Chasey boy are running through my mind all day today. Brief moments of distraction are swept away by a memory because everywhere I look I can remember him there. His jaunty little trot. His silent meow hello. I live on a quiet street across from a park. There are two small sets of bleachers for a little league field there. On the summer days, Chasey would sit on the bleachers and just take in the scenery. I would grab a coffee and go sit on them too and he would come and sit next to me. And we would both just enjoy the summer sunshine. He was a true friend. A unique personality, like all cats. They are all so interesting little creatures, with strong wills and personalities they will never compromise upon.
        In my grief, I have been thinking about what it means to be animal lover, to love our companion animals in such a way to grieve so when they leave us. Because we know going in that their lives are short compared to ours. We know that what fills our hearts with so much joy will one day break it. And yet we give love freely, without reservation. We are the Brave Fools who dare to love fully, those we can not hold for long. We embrace the joy and the sorrow without regret. Because we know that love is the difference between merely having life and truly living and all God’s creatures deserve a chance to find it. How wonderful to have found and shared that love for their fleeting moment on this earth. How lucky are they. How lucky are we.

        1. Jackie Rushforth

          Dear Pam,thank you for your kind thoughts for our darling Bella.I know how you are feeling, honestly, I do. I still think I can hear her running about the house and creating mischief. What a heart felt bond they make with us. I am hoping that for us with Bella and you with your much loved Chasey boy, time will help us get stronger. As you say, everything around is a reminder of them and how we miss them. We are all going through the mill, with this terrible grieve. We gave our hearts and love to these wonderful creatures, and over and over again they repaid us all with their devotion. I am thankful for this site, which I found in my deepest sadness.Day by day, dear Pam, one day we will be able to laugh at Chasey boys and Bellas’ little quirks, and unique antics. I know we will always miss them, they were big parts of our lives and routines. They will always be in our hearts. Lets all try to get stronger, less raw, day by day. My thoughts are with you Pam, and all the other people on this site who are sad and grieving their cat. Please lets try to stay strong.

    2. This is exactly what I am going through right now. It is heart wrenching to think I will never see my precious Pacha again, whine we adopted when he was 6. I miss him so much. My thoughts are with you, and I am comforted that I am not alone in these feelings; I hope this can bring some comfort to you as well.

      1. I had to have my darling rescue baby pts yesterday at only 2 and a half. The vet tried his best over the last month but told me he couldn’t condone carrying on as he was very sick with renal failure, maybe caused by antifreeze he didn’t know though a pm may show more. He’d not known such a baby have this. The other 6 rescue cats are looking for him am devastated and can’t stop the tears even though I know the vets advice was right. He came from Cyprus with some of the others , so sad he only had 28 months with us and not years. So sorry for everyone else on here too it never gets easier especially as loco was just a baby. RIP all the furries fly free over rainbow ???? bridge .❤️

  40. Hi everyone, I am glad to have found this site. I hope everyone is coping well, and have managed to continue to heal. I just had my 15 year old tabby, Russ, put to sleep. It is the most painful and saddest day I’ve had in decades. Russ had oral cancer, but this wasn’t what defined him. He was courageous, strong and so beautiful. I had to make this decision this morning ‘cause he and I knew that this wasn’t life. I have just spent the last 3 days nursing him and talking to him on crossing the Rainbow Bridge. I pray that he will find ways to make his precence known to me. He’s my one and only and nothing will ever replace that. He was my feline baby. Wishing everyone peace and joy.

  41. becky l. connelly

    the owner of where I lived forced me to get rid of my cats and my dog. I feel so guilty cuz qhen I said goodby to my cats is was like a girgling cry, and it breaking my heart. I had rescued a lot of cats out from the streets. loved them, gave them food took them to the vet. I hve one left, and I feel like I’m singled out cuz everyone else can have pets but me, where I’m staying at, I also have to catch all the strays, I guess I’m to kind hearted and I cant stand seeing any animals suffer,one of the neghbors started a fight with me about my dog , one of my cats went in his yard, he took a 2×4 and killed one of my cats in front of me. I already reported him to the animal control place, but they told me I need proof. bless you all and hugs for our fur babys, why do our animals have to suffer over somebodys ignorances? its not fair and its not right.

  42. I am wrestling with what to do. So I appreciate any feedback you can provide to me. My cat is 19.5 years old and has had IBD for about 3.5 years or so. This disease has caused her to not eat, chronic diarrhea,and to lose weight on and off throughout the years. I have managed it primarily with medication. In October 2017 she had lost more weight and was down to 6 lbs. (she was about 11-12 lbs. in her healthy days). I brought her for a check up in December, 2017 and she was down to 4 lbs. She had lost 2 lbs. in about 2 months. She is literally skin and bones. There is some underlying disease that is causing this weight loss but the vets don’t know what it is. I decided it was time to euthanize her last week because she didn’t seem like she was eating, but she bounced back and is now eating and drinking and walking around, so I am torn. I basically have to put my cat down because she is super thin. I know she does not have a long life left, but why put her down if she is feeling ok? Thank you.

    1. Hi Marie,
      I’m so sorry for your furbaby and I am near you with all my thoughts. I would go to another veterinarian, maybe he will prescribe another diet or medication. I would not hurry to euthanize it until I did not exclude all possibilities. I’m afraid that after euthanasia do not suffer, having in mind the question “If I would have done this … maybe …” Please be calm and judge coldly. Your beloved cat has not much time to spend next to you, do everything possible for her. Love her as much as you can.
      I pray for you.
      I found some information about IBD. Maybe it helps you. https://vcahospitals.com/know-your-pet/inflammatory-bowel-disease-in-cats

  43. I lost my Kacy last Friday, January 5th. Next month she would have been 16 years old. She was so weak, she could no longer walk…kidney disease took her so so fast :( She was the sweetest kitty soul, I ever had the privilege to know. She was my best friend, my nurse when I had bronchitis just a few weeks ago. A cuddlebug during this cold winter. Playful when she thought no one was watching. She did not want anyone not to think she wasn’t dignified and still played “silly kitten “games!
    Always there for me and I promised I would always be there for her, furever and ever. She gave me no signs how her health was about to decline. Cats are good at that. She will be with me always, but now I feel a kitty shaped hole in my heart. I love you baby, thank you for trusting me after you had a rough start in life. We had 14 wonderful years and I will treasure them, always and furever!
    My heart goes out to everyone, who has lost a dear feline. Hugs!

    1. My thoughts are with you Melanie. My sweet Pitagoras suffered much the same fate, my house feels so empty without him. Stay strong, what you did wasn’t easy but it was the right thing to do, you took her pain and made it your own, she is now free.

  44. I lost my boy Henry on New Years Eve and I’m really struggling to come to terms with his loss. I got him and Tilly as rescue cats when they were around 4 years old and I would have had him for 10 years in May. He went off his food on 28th December and when he didn’t perk up the following the day I took him to the vet. They tested his blood and said that his red blood count was low but that everything else was normal and it might be a burst ulcer causing a slight bleed. Following day was no better so I took him back and they agreed to hospitalise him for 48 hours to do x-rays, thermal imaging etc. They called me later on to say he was relaxed and settling in well. That night I just had a strange feeling and woke up feeling depressed the next day. I called the vet who told me that Henry had respiratory issues that morning and his heart rate was very low and that x-rays showed his lungs were full of fluid. I went in to see him and agreed that they could try and drain his lungs although that in itself was very risky. I said goodbye to him knowing there was a chance that he could crash during the procedure and I’d said not to resuscitate. They called me half an hour after I’d left to say that they’d done further xrays and it looked like he had primary lung cancer and I could wait a few days for them to do a biopsy or let him go peacefully while he was sedated. I opted for the latter but feel so guilty now and think if only I’d gotten a 2nd opinion or given him more of a chance he might still be here. I had a very strong attachment to him and I just feel like a have a huge hole in my heart. Nothing feels right without him here although he’d drive me crazy sometimes with his constant demands for food and then turning his nose up once he got it unless it was fresh chicken or fish. It’s also hard as I feel bad for Tilly as she and he were so close and would cuddle up all the time and groom each other. I always knew a day would come when I’d have to say goodbye to one or both of my cats and I dreaded it – with good reason it seems.

    My sincere condolences to everyone else who has lost their beloved cat.

    1. I am so sorry for your loss. Please don’t blame or second guess yourself or the decisions you made.
      We all make the best decisions that we can for our
      Loving cats at that time but when they are older and stop eating then something is wrong. You did Everything right and you rescued your precious baby at 4 years of age. That is remarkable. And to give him 10 more years of love is very special. I don’t know if the pain ever goes away. We just had our Red Tabby Tucker put to sleep on Jan 2nd 2018 and I cried for two days. He slept on my pillow for the 13 1/2 years that we had him. When he got sick and stopped eating and developed an eye infection that refused to go away and no matter what treatment we tried he continued to lose weight, we knew we had done all we could. The Vet said it was likely cancer and we were doing the right thing. You hear those words but they are so painful for us. Tucker always slept on my neck with his nose in my ear and purred. So when we took him for his last ride and he came out of his carrier, he crawled up onto my shoulder and hung onto me with his front legs and wouldn’t let go. He purred in my ear and rubbed his head against my head. It was more than I could bare. I started sobbing. I didn’t want to let go but knew I had to. It’s heartbreaking when we lose the loves of our lives. Not every pet cat or dog is irreplaceable in your heart but some are and you’ll never recover or maybe never forget. I’m not sure. It’s only been 3 days. I wish you well. You did a great thing and know that I feel your pain like so many others.

  45. I just put my girl Moomy down about 6 hours ago. I had her for almost 13 years. She was spunky, loving, playful, I sang to her, she chased me around my place and I’d chase her. She was my love bug who meant more to me than anything. I looked for her as soon as I came home and she’d come to greet me, I’d wake up every morning and find her if she didn’t find me first and be sitting close to my face trying to wake me. My partner, my buddy. Cancer. She had lost control and coordination of her back legs and began on New Years Day eve to just leak urine and yet would try to get in her box to go but nothing came out. It was heartbreaking to see and to know I couldn’t help her. Plus she was such a clean well kept cat, she was always cleaning herself. I felt this was so not fair to her. She was miserable although would still purr when I scratched her by ears. She was so special to me she understood me when I talked to her, I called her like a dog to come, she had at about 50 names and she knew them all. I’m heartbroken and I feel the loss of her presence in my empty quiet home. “Rest In Peace my baby girl, mommy loves you so much”

  46. I lost my Smokie on 12/26/17, to say I was devastated is an understatement. I was so sad that i literally cried for two days straight. He was 16 years old and his jawline gave out on him and he could no longer eat. A big boy, he once weighed 14 pounds and when he died he only weighed 7 pounds. I could feel and see the bone in his little back. I miss him so much even though he was a spitfire! He was also funny and when younger, very fast on his feet. He would race though the house chasing me, jump on my bed, and follow me around the house. After he was put to sleep, I remained relatively calm, and I talked to him briefly, but once I got home, I fell on the floor and wept like a baby. I have yet gotten a good night’s sleep, and food hasn’t been a priority. I won’t get another cat because this has been a heartbreaking experience, but I am glad I had Smokie and 16 Wonderful years. I have truly been blessed.

    Carol

    1. We just lost my Jasper on New Years Day. She was 21years old. I struggled with putting her to rest because you are always wondering…did i do the right thing? I didn’t want her to suffer. She had a heart murmur failing kidneys not urinating fluid in the lungs breathing problems and more. She spent overnight at the vet hospital. Over my life i have lost many cat family members. Its never easy. This was my last baby of a group i have been blessed to have be part of my life. This one seems the most difficult. I feel like my heart is literally breaking. I too find myself crying when at home. Everything reminds me of her. We are both just broken. I know it will take time to try to heal but, until then its just unbearable. I know she is with her siblings and i hope in peace. But, man this is so difficult. Everything songs tv remind me of her. Guilt weights on me. Did i give up on her..but, i didn’t want her to suffer. Life is so great with cats and dogs but, is so painful when we lose them. Such an extreme. I hope you can find your peace also. It is good to know that there are other people that have such a love and such a joy about cats as we do. U are in my prayers.

    2. Hi Carol. I had to put my cat Lucky down on Thursday morning after 15 wonderful years. She also started having an infection on her nose and started losing weight. Went to the vet a few times since mid-November and tried everything. We were even feeding her baby food through a syringe so she wouldn’t be hungry while trying the meds. Sadly she became very ill. These past 4o hours have been very hard. When I got home after work last night I kept thinking I would see her with my other dogs, waiting for dinner. It’s so heartbreaking, but please know I feel your pain. We’ll get through it – day by day, but our cats will always be in our hearts.

  47. Yesterday we had to put my dearest Ally to sleep . She had a seizure in June and was symptom free till 9th of December. We had thought it was a one off . But it happened again and we rushed to the animal hospital straight away. She had 3 seizures in 10 days and was given treatment to help her . But after the 3rd seizure she had to be put into an induced coma as she could not stop seizuring . Nothing else could be done . So we had to take the difficult decision, our final act of love. It was painful but somehow peaceful as if she was letting us know that it was the right thing to do . She was 13 years old and I had always thought she would be with us for much longer . My heart is broken, I can’t believe I will never see her again, hold her , love her .She was such a character. She followed me everywhere, was my shadow. My constant companion. I will never forget my dearest little one .

  48. There’s just something about cats that makes them more than just a pet.

    I had a little boy called Norad who died around a year ago after being hit by a car just meters from my house. Norad’s quirky and unique personality made him the perfect companion to come home to after a rainy day. When I came home he would stand on his two back legs and force his head into my hand making a bad day just that much better. I was the unfortunate soul to see Norad’s lifeless body laying on the road after coming home from work

    My heart completely sank, I placed Norad into a blanket and rushed to the vet, to my despair, it was already too late. To this day I have never quite moved past his death, the overwhelming feeling of grief still overcomes me to this day, photos of him still bringing tears to my eye. There’s something so special about a faithful pet that I can never quite understand, they become family and losing them brings a mountain of emotions and thoughts you never fully come to terms with.

    After the loss of Norad, Mum and I decided to foster with lonely miaow to give back to the cat community after such a tragic loss. This is one experience I hope I have to never go through again.

    God bless to all those who have lost a faithful fur baby and may they rest in peace.

  49. It’s Tuesday, December 19th. My 14 year old cat, Whittaker, has been on the downhill recently. He had lost a ton of weight in the past year. Just a few days ago, my aunt was over, and she said we should think about putting Whittaker down soon. My aunt has owned cats her whole life, so she would know, and she said that Whittaker looked terrible. I didn’t think much of it, thinking that he would life another year or two, but I knew a trip to the vet was due to see what his problems were. We took him to the vet today, and the vet said that he looked very bad, and that his breathing was erratic. They asked us if we wanted to do X-rays, and we agreed. Still not thinking much of it, my dad and I went out for coffee, and then the vet told us to come back. She told us that the x-rays were not looking good. She showed us that his chest and area around his lungs and heart was filled with fluid, likely from leukemia or some other type of cancer. She also showed us that his stomach was very bloated, and his intestines and stomach weren’t operating properly; they were failing. The intense gas buildup would have been causing him pain for months, but he never showed it, because he’s a tough cat, but still, he’s been suffering. I was immediately destroyed, realizing that this cat I had lived with since I was five years old was now moving on. The vet told us that he’s in extreme pain, and that there is no cure for what he has. We scheduled for him to be put down tomorrow, on December 20th. Rest in Peace, Whittaker. I think I’ll be pretty shut down for the next few days.

    1. I am sorry you’re going through such a painful experience, Jacob. (I had to put my two 17-year old cats down within weeks of each other so I know what you’re going through.) Be gentle with yourself over the next few days/weeks, and surround yourself with supportive friends and family. Know that you’re doing the right thing and that you’re not alone in your grief. My prayers are with you and Whittaker.

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