Get

In Your Inbox

Catster is reader-supported. When you buy via links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission at no cost to you. Learn more.

How to Bond With Your Cat: 12 Vet-Approved Options

teenager cat owner cuddling with pet cat

Owning a cat is one of life’s great pleasures, but sometimes, it can feel like we need them more than they need us. It can even feel like we’re burdening them with our presence. However, that may not be true. There’s evidence that cats bond with their humans even more than dogs, so your kitty may be just as eager to develop a stronger relationship with you.

If you want to forge a closer bond with your cat, you’re in luck. There are ways you can get closer to your feline friend that are backed by science. The ideas on this list have been proven to bring people and cats closer together, and they can improve the relationship between you and your pet. Just don’t be surprised if, after putting these tips into practice, you can’t get your cat to leave you alone anymore.

divider 2 cats

Top 12 Tips to Bond With Your Cat

1. Only Pet Them in the Approved Places

Cats are sensitive about where they’re touched. While their favorite petting spots can vary from cat to cat, for the most part, you’ll find that cats like to be petted in the same spots every time.

Between the ears is an excellent spot to pet, whereas around the tail is an area that’s best left alone. If you only pet your cat in places that they appreciate, they’ll be more likely to want to spend more time with you.

best places to pet a cat
You are free to use this image, but we do require you to link back to Catster.com for credit

2. Act Like a Cat

Who understands cats more than other cats? Hopefully, scientists do because they recommend approaching your cat the way that another feline would. Cats often greet each other by sniffing their noses, and you can let your cat come up to you, smell your hand, and then gently press on their nose, and they’ll actually like it (of course, they’ll like it even more if you have tuna on your hands).


3. Come Bearing Gift

This one likely comes as no surprise to experienced cat owners, but cats love being around you more when you have food or toys. Cats seem to prefer interacting with people around mealtime, or while playing, and you can “buy” your cat’s love with treats.

This can go too far, of course. Don’t let your cat become overweight due to your bonding efforts, and respect their decision if they don’t feel like playing. Otherwise, you can use a snack or toy to create an excellent bonding experience.

russian blue cat eating a treat
Image Credit by: DSchmidtArt, Shutterstock

4. Know When to Step Away

This one also seems obvious, but it’s worth stating. Cats don’t like to be around people who mistreat them, even in a joking manner. While you may think you’re just being playful by teasing them, they may resent it.

That goes for ignoring them as well. Cats prefer the company of people who lovingly interact with them, so give your cat high-quality attention as often as possible.


5. Blink at Them

Cats look at your eyes to gauge your emotional state, and they view slow blinking as a form of positive communication. If you want to tell your cat that you love them, look into their eyes and perform a series of slow blinks, followed by keeping your eyes half-closed.

Sound familiar? That’s likely because you’ve seen your cat perform the same sequence. It’s their way of letting you know they love, trust, and accept you.

man petting a cat
Image Credit by: Pixabay

6. Let Them Come to You

If it seems like your cat plays hard to get, that’s because they do, and they don’t necessarily want you acting desperate to gain their favor. One study found that human-cat interactions were generally more successful when the cat initiated the interaction rather than the other way around.

The same study also showed that most successful interactions were shorter, so if you’re fortunate enough to have your cat wander over to you for affection, don’t press your luck by trying to draw the experience out.


7. Give Them Their Own Hideout

This won’t improve your bonding, but giving your cat someplace to hide is important for their well-being. Having a hideout that they can visit when they feel stressed will make them more comfortable in their environment.

Once your cat feels comfortable in your home, they’ll likely want to make friends with the inhabitants.

DIY Crochet Cat Sack Hideaway
Image Credit: dreamalittlebigger

8. Keep a Regular Routine

Cats are creatures of habit and become dependent on a reliable routine. In fact, cats may even get sick if their routines get interrupted, so it’s essential to keep things as dependable as possible.

Once your cat sees that you can be trusted to feed them and go to bed at set times, they’ll realize that they can trust you.


9. Understand That Every Cat Is an Individual

Cats have their own quirks and personality traits, so try to learn what makes yours tick. Don’t assume that just because most cats like specific toys, your cat will. If something’s not working for them, stop doing it and find something that they like instead. Ultimately, it’s up to you to find the best way to bond with your cat, regardless of what science might say about it.

russian blue cat showing affection to the owner
Image Credit: Nailia Schwarz, Shutterstock

10. Observation

The easiest way to encourage the bond between you and your pet is doing things your cat likes, so watch them and figure out what they love. Your kitty likely has a favorite type of treat, a toy they drag around everywhere, and a favorite area of the house they spend the most time in. With the knowledge you gain from observing your pet, you can play with them with the toys they like best or make the area of the house they enjoy more cat-friendly.


11. Play in a Focused Way

Yes, you play with your cat, but are you playing with them while watching television, or are you focused on the play you’re doing? Setting aside 10 minutes at least twice a day to focus on playing and interacting with your kitty will strengthen your bond. Figure out which toys they love most and purchase new ones if they’re not interested in them. It’s another instance where your cat will learn to associate fun with you.

Playing is an important part of keeping your cat mentally and physically engaged, and a great toy will make it much easier. We like Hepper's Catnip Stick Toys because they're sturdy enough to handle intense play and completely filled with organic catnip. You'll love the fun range of pastel colors and your cat will enjoy the prey-like shape!

Hepper Stick Catnip Cat Kicker Toy
  • No Filler - Like all the best cat toys our is stuffed with 100% organic catnip. Cheap cat toys with...
  • Flexible Play - Simple plush shape is great for biting, scratching and pawing. It can start life as...
  • Durably Designed - Our cat safe toys are hand-stitched with a double-lined exterior construction for...

At Catster, we’ve admired Hepper for many years and decided to take a controlling ownership interest so that we could benefit from the outstanding designs of this cool cat company!


12. Training

Often, pet owners don’t think of cats as trainable, but they are (though some breeds are more so than others). Training can be a fabulous way to bond with your cat as it strengthens your communication and is often fun for both of you. Since cats are very food-motivated, using treats is an excellent way to train them. If your cat isn’t big on treats, you can reward them with play or plenty of praise.

maine coon cat having treat
Image Credit: Nils Jacobi, Shutterstock

divider 3 paws

Building a Healthy Relationship With Your Cat, One Day at a Time

There’s nothing worse than not having the relationship that you want with your cat, but in most cases, it’s only a temporary problem. By using science to your advantage, you can bring your cat around sooner or later. They may even thank you by putting a dead mouse in your shoe!


Featured Image Credit: larisa Stefanjuk, Shutterstock

Want content like this delivered to you?

Sign Up For Our Newsletter

News, insights, expert advice, and everything cat

* By submitting, you agree to our Terms & Conditions and Privacy & Cookies Policy.

How useful was this post?

Click on a star to rate (you can leave written feedback after clicking submit)

Help us improve Catster for pet parents!

Your feedback really matters.

What did you like about this post? Also how can we improve it?

Join the conversation

Leave a Reply

You’re very welcome to leave a comment or question. Please know that all comments must meet our community guidelines, and your email address will NOT be published. Let’s have a positive and constructive conversation.

Talk With A Vet Online

Peace of mind,
anywhere, anytime

Affordable vet advice

Why Is My Cat So Demanding? 6 Vet-Verified Ways to Deal with a Demanding Cat

One of the most endearing things about cats is their unique and diverse personalities. While some cats are quiet and unassuming, others are...

Do Cats Have Hair or Fur? Vet-Verified Facts & Info

Having hair is one of many characteristics that distinguish mammals from other classes of animals, such as reptiles and birds. Other traits include...

What Is a Cat Lady? The Surprising Answer & When It’s a Problem

We have heard the term “cat lady” more times than we can count. It seems awesome that someone often touts the phrase to...

Where Should Cats Sleep at Night? 7 Expert Tips & Advice

While cats are mostly nocturnal, many of our furry companions like to match our schedules to spend more time with us. If that...

More related

15 Vet-Verified Reasons Your Cat Sleeps Under the Bed: With Tips to Manage Anxiety

Do you ever wonder why your cat likes to sleep under the bed? There are actually several reasons why cats like to do...

How Often to Clean a Litter Box: 3 Vet-Verified Signs to Watch For

Owning a cat is more than having a pet to cuddle while you watch television in the evenings; they require work and constant...

How to Adopt a Stray Cat: Dos and Don’ts

Here’s how to determine if you’re dealing with a feral or stray cat and what steps to take if you’d like to welcome...

8 Best Wall Mounted Cat Scratchers in 2025: Reviews & Top Picks

Scratching posts have numerous benefits for felines, like reducing anxiety and pleasing their wild nature.1 The only bad thing is they tend to...

Keep reading

Can You Spay a Pregnant Cat? Vet-Reviewed Risks & Recommendations

If you’re in a situation where you are asking this question, odds are you either have a rescue on your hands or, somehow, didn’t realize your pet wasn’t spayed—which can happen. When it comes to safety and spaying a pregnant...

pregnant cat

Why Does My Cat Act Like My Child? 10 Reasons

Our relationship with our feline companions has evolved dramatically through the ages. They’ve gone from wild animals to ratters to beloved pets. About 95% of people think of their companions as family members.1 Some may do the job that endeared...

Siamese cat with kids

How to Pick Up a Cat the Right Way: Vet-Approved Tips & Tricks

Not all cats enjoy being picked up; however, there are times when it is necessary. If you need to pick up your cat for any reason, it is important that you do so properly. Picking up your cat correctly can...

person holding a gray cat with collar

3 Homemade Pumpkin Cat Treat Recipes To Enjoy This Fall

Cats are obligate carnivores, meaning they need a meat-based diet. That said, there’s nothing wrong with treating your furry friend to a few little treats now and again, and, if you’re feeling crafty, you can DIY your own cat treats...

Homemade Pumpkin Cat Treat Recipes To Enjoy This Fall

Are Hostas Poisonous to Cats? Our Vet-Approved Advice

There are some houseplants that are fine to have around your house. But unfortunately, hostas are not one of them, as they are poisonous to cats. If your favorite feline companion gets into your hosta, they’ll probably experience vomiting and...

Catster_Are Hostas Poisonous to Cats

Do Kittens Sleep a Lot? Vet-Reviewed Facts & FAQ

There’s nothing quite like the angelic and innocent sight of a sleeping kitten. Kittens of all breeds spend their days learning, growing, playing, eating, and snoozing, and they’ll spend the rest of their lives doing these same activities even as...

kittens sleeping

Can Cats Eat Cornbread? Health Facts & FAQ

It’s a constant temptation to occasionally give our cats some of our food just as a little treat. After all, a lot of the time, they seem to love our food as much as we do! Unfortunately, not all people...

Can Cats Eat Cornbread

Why Is My Cat Staring at the Ceiling? 6 Vet-Reviewed Reasons

Cats are mysterious creatures. For ages, people have studied their behavior and tried to understand why they do the things that they do. One of your cat’s more curious actions may be staring at the ceiling of your home for...

tabby cat staring at the ceiling