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Felines Weekly

My Cat Thinks I'm Weird: Ivy's Take on Human Habits

By Crystal Uys
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The Face of Judgement

Welcome to the Wednesday Cats of Catster! Every week, we share a story from one of our cat-loving Catsters. This week is about Crystal and her soul cat, Ivy.

Hi, Catsters!

We all know what we think about cats: they're funny, wonderful, smart, sometimes very strange, and always adorable.

But have you ever stopped to think: what do cats think about us?

Oftentimes, when I’m busy around the house with certain things, like cleaning the bathroom, doing the laundry, or coming home with groceries, Ivy intently watches me with what I imagine to be a look of confusion on her cute little face. I then find myself wondering: what is she thinking?

Perplexed, and not amused
Perplexed, and not amused

Here are some human habits that I think cats find strange:

1. Showering or Taking a Bath

I think this one might seem the strangest to them, since most are not big fans of water. Every day (hopefully!), we shed our clothes and climb into a giant tub or stream of water, where we drench ourselves with water completely, only to dry off and do it again either later in the day or the next day.

I’m taking a bath, just like you!
I’m taking a bath, just like you!

2. Our Strange ‘Hunting Ritual’

Do cats think we went out hunting when we come back with groceries? And why do we put some of the groceries in a giant, cold box? And how is their cat food almost instantly replenished without them having to lift a paw?

Why does the human need two drinks? And why is one hot, and one cold?
Why does the human need two drinks? And why is one hot, and one cold?

3. Phone Calls

You’re talking, but not to them, and there’s a semi-familiar voice coming out of a device. Sometimes, when we’re on the phone, we might laugh or cry, or become instantly angered. Sometimes, we stay on the phone for hours, talking to the voice on the other side.


4. Watching TV

Oftentimes, our nightly rituals involve watching a big, glowing rectangle. We stare at this rectangle for hours, sometimes laughing, sometimes crying, sometimes with no expression at all. Pretty weird to think about, right?

Watching the glowing rectangle, AGAIN?
Watching the glowing rectangle, AGAIN?

5. Cleaning

After your cat has carefully and selectively secured its territory by rubbing up against certain things, we remove it by cleaning it. More often than not, we use cleaning products that smell very strange and invasive to them.


6. Vacuuming

Hot on the heels of the strange cleaning phenomenon, we have the dreaded beast, which is referred to as ‘the vacuum’ - what’s the deal with that? It’s loud, it’s invasive, and in their minds, it’s out to kill them.

The vacuum won’t get me today!
The vacuum won’t get me today!

7. Wearing Shoes

This one’s a no-brainer: we cover our ‘paws’ with some sort of covering before heading out into the world. I mean, what even?


8. Walking on Two Legs

How strange must this seem to them?! The more I think about it from a cat’s perspective, the more creeped out I get. Also, they must think us highly inefficient. How will we climb trees or quickly get away from threats?


9. Having Guests Over

Why are there strange, loud, weirdly smelling strangers in my territory? Also, why are they constantly trying to pick me up and pet me? Imagine if a stranger walked up to you and just simply picked you up. Definitely a huge cause for concern.


10. Seeing Us Fall

Ivy has seen – and caused me to – fall on numerous occasions. Does she think I’m weak and pathetic because I can’t land on all fours? I have to admit, it is very embarrassing to fall with your feline watching.

Living with humans must be a constant source of bewilderment – and amusement – for our feline overlords! Their silent judgments are likely far more astute (and humorous) than we can ever imagine.

Did I miss something? Can you think of another human behavior that cats find puzzling?

Cats really think WE’RE the weird ones?!
Cats really think WE’RE the weird ones?!

Catch you next time, Catsters!

This article features Crystal and Ivy in our Wednesday Cats of Catster series.

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Crystal Uys
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Crystal Uys

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