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Taking School Pictures and 4 Other Really Weird Things I Do With My Cats

Cat people are quirky. I'm living proof -- and I'm really glad no one sees me doing these things.

Angie Bailey  |  Jun 17th 2013


A few months ago I told you about some of the weird things I do with my cats. I totally admit to being a little bit odd now and again — mostly again. My kids regularly roll their eyes at my tomfoolery, but I believe they secretly enjoy some of Mom’s quirks. I don’t think they see just how much their humor is like mine. In fact, they should thank me for grooming them into the awesome oddballs they’ve become.

The below photo is actually a posed one from one of my Catster posts. I don’t really wear cat ears and hang out in plastic bins. Usually.

I’ve always loved cats and can’t remember a time when I didn’t share my home with them. Well, maybe there was a brief spot of time in college, but it didn’t last long because I adopted Daphne, a gorgeous black kitty. And yes, Daphne and I were a couple of freaks in a houseful of strange folk. It was an arts school, after all.

Here are five more things I do with my cat that I’m glad no one sees. Or I suppose you can see if you want to — just don’t come snooping around my windows. I don’t want to encourage any non-cat peeping toms.

1. School pictures

Sometimes when my cats are sitting happily in my lap, I gently pull their lips back and make them smile. And then I say, “school picture!” Yes, I call it their “school picture.” Before anybody gets crazy, nobody gets hurt during school pictures. The cats are not struggling to get away from their school picture. They’re usually purring in my lap during the whole shebang. I don’t normally take photos of them in this position — it’s just a brief silly moment. This one of Cosmo will look lovely as an 8×10 hanging in the stairway.

2. Sing-song

I know I’m not alone in this one. I make up songs for my cats — mostly Cosmo. Sometimes they’re completely fabricated, other times they’re total parodies, but usually I just pop their names into an existing song — you know, like “Shiny Happy Cosmo” and “Old McCosmo Had a Farm.” He loves it so, so much. He told me.

3. Window shopping

I don’t actually do this with my cats, but it’s all about them. When my daughter and I are shopping, we point out clothing we think our cats would wear. If you regularly read my posts, you know I love imagining cats dressed as humans and doing “people things.”

And, of course, I have complete human profiles for my cats. Phoebe is the little priss, Saffy is the awkward wallflower, and Cosmo is the fancy dandy. When my daughter walks by the kids’ clothing section in Target, it’s just second nature to point to a clothing item and say one of the cats’ names. We always choose tidy little matching clothing sets for Cosmo, especially dressy ones. The above photo is an example of what he’d have worn as a kitten. Definitely.

4. Bathtub play

Cosmo loves hanging out with me while I’m showering or bathing. During my showers, he sits between the curtain and the liner, meowing and batting at me. I bat back at him, while singing made-up songs. It’s his favorite. While I’m soaking in a relaxing bath, he lies on the edge of the tub and stares at me, allowing his tail to float in the water. Seriously — he doesn’t even care that his tail is soaking wet. Or maybe he doesn’t notice. He must be entranced by my hypnotizing off-key serenade: “Splish splash, Cosmo was takin’ a bath.”

5. Facing off

On occasion I make faces at my cats and wait for their reactions. Usually they walk away and ignore me; however, sometimes their expression tells me, “You have way too much time on your hands. Go make me a sandwich.” This is a ton of fun — you should try it.

What weird things do you do with your cats? Tell us about it in the comments!

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About the Author: Angie Bailey is a weird girl with freckles and giant smile who wants everyone to be her friend. Loves pre-adolescent boy humor, puns, making up parody songs, and thinking about cats doing people things. Wrote a ridiculous humor book about cats wheeling and dealing online. Partner in a production company and writes and acts in comedy web series that may or may not offend people. Mother to two humans and three cats, all of which want her to make them food.

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