Close X


Timo's Tall Tales

(Page 7 of 16: Viewing Diary Entry 61 to 70)  
1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  11  12  13  14  15  16  

German Halloween Story

November 1st 2011 5:49 pm
[ View A Comments (5) ]

I already wrote about this in Charlie Chocolate Paw’s diary but I thought I’d share with everycat.

German Halloween Story. Yeah, I know Halloween is over. Sorry, I just thought about it.
In Germany (where Mom grew up) they don’t celebrate Halloween. A few years ago the following happened to our German Grandparents:

Our Mom was already living on her own and the German Grandparents are old, like a 100 or so. So one night a few years ago on October 31st the doorbell rings. German Grandpaw answers and there are three juveniles, maybe 15/16 years old, on his doorstep.

The kids say HAPPY HALLOWEEN and TRICK OR TREAT. German Grandpaw gets a bit scared because the kids are dressed in scary costumes. He doesn’t speak English so he asks them what is this all about and what are you saying. The kids say: Don’t you know? Tonight is Halloween. German Grandpaw asks what that is. The kids say it’s a holiday from America and a lot of people in Germany celebrate it now (not true). And what you do is you dress up and go from house to house and then people have to give you beer or schnaps. The kids say: You have to give us beer or schnaps or we’ll do a scary trick.

German Grandpaw told them there is no way that he is giving alcohol to juveniles and they better get off his property right now or he’ll call the cops. The kids left.

Nice try kids.


R.I.P. Ohio Lions, Tigers and Bears

October 20th 2011 5:30 am
[ View A Comments (7) ]

Oooh, this is so sad. Ohio Lions, Tigers and Bears Rest in Peace, dear ones. Humankind has failed you. What the heck. This makes me so mad. Humans are supposed to look out for us and protect us. That's their job. They are the intelligent species. How was this man, who was a known animal abuser, allowed to have all these animals? It takes A LOT of time, money and special training to be able to keep exotic animals like these properly. Change the laws, gosh darnit. People shouldn't be able to order exotic animals on the internet like ordering a sweater.

On another subject: the diary comment function is fixed now. Thanks tech-cats for keeping us safe and keeping unintelligent people out of here. But I have decided that I want to approve every comment first before it goes live. So don't be surprised friends if you don't see your comment immediately. Thanks for your patience.


Only way to read diaries is to click on the cat's name, then- scroll down to their diary

October 16th 2011 8:13 pm
[ View A Comments ]

Well, nopurr can read this entry anyway. I hope the title explains it. The Catster server seems to be taking a very long cat nap today. Time to get back to work. Wake up server.


My bonbons went POP (for Hunter)

October 10th 2011 8:54 pm
[ View A Comments (7) ]

HUNTER, this one is for you.
Yesterday was a peaceful afternoon. Mom was in the living room reading a book, Mietzi was asleep on Mom's bed. Then suddenly Mom heard a very loud POP from the kitchen. What was that? Did a light bulb explode? Mom goes to investigate. I am sitting on the counter. Oh, the plastic container with the bonbons, which was sitting on the counter, is on the kitchen floor and a few bonbons have fallen out. How did that happen?

I don't know. But Mom opened the container and gave me a few bonbons. Mission accomplished. I love bonbons but I never get enough of them. Mom had just moved my precious bonbons from a large glass container to a smaller plastic container. After it fell off the counter she put it away in the hall closet. Noooo, I can't open the closet.


Get Ingen Home ** HQ approved fundraiser **

October 3rd 2011 6:44 pm
[ View A Comments (2) ]

I'm sure you've all heard about Ingen (Catster ID 1011864). About how she went missing on Thursday during a cross country move. Her Mom was moving from Michigan to Washington. Ingen was found Sunday!! We are all so happy. She was still in the hotel, hiding between the mattress and box spring.

All the Catsters here have really come together with ideas and support and now that she's been found there is just one more thing to do. Ingen's Mom had to continue her trip to Washington State. So now Ingen just needs to get to her new home to WA.

Alex Sweet Angel Girl, ID 112787 has organized a fundraiser to pay for Ingen's trip home. And for the fee that the shelter charges where Ingen had to stay for two days. You can donate on Alex' Mom's website here:
Red box on the right side is the donation widgit. Every little bit helps get Ingen home to her Mom and cat-brofur.
This fundraiser has been approved by Catster HQ.

You can read more about Ingen's story in the plus Forum, Plus Power of the Paw.

Thank Mew.


No Speed Dating - No Fall In....Love. Lots of Barf

September 24th 2011 6:20 pm
[ View A Comments (10) ]

You're probably wondering how my speed dating went on Thursday. Mother didn't let me go! Not fair. And I had groomed myself extra handsome and was wearing my nicest collar. A floofy collar in Hawkey black and gold (The Iowa Hawkeyes won today, by the way). Mom says this speed dating thing at our ARL is for the HUMANS to find their perfect kitty or doggy match to adopt. I still think I could have went. I could have adopted a cat, right? A pretty Meezer. And then Friday and today they had something called "Fall In...Love". Mom says this is again just for the humans to get to know and fall in love with adoptable animals. This is at the same Animal Rescue League where I'm from. I think I should be allowed to go and just check out the old digs and say Meowlo to the staff peoples.

Then this morning I did something exciting. Mom came home late Wednesday and yesterday we got lots of Fancy Feast, yummy. I think Mom still felt guilty about being home late and about not letting me go speed dating. Anyway, you know how it says you shouldn't change foods too fast on a kitty. Well, I usually eat the blue buffalos and I got an upset tummy from all the Fancy Feast. I told Mom last night that my tummy hurt. I was meowing and pacing back and forth and asking her to make it better. All my meowing even earned me a short stint in time-out. I can't remember the last time I was in time-out. I'm a good boy.

So this morning we got breakfast early, then Mom went back to bed on account of it being a weekend. Then she heard me barfing. She grabbed me and put me in the bathroom. I had only barfed a little bit in her bedroom. But in the bathroom, oh boy, I had a barf-fest. I was sitting on the thing where the sink is and suddenly I felt yuckery. So I hung my head down and barfed lots of food out. Oh boy, it all ran down the cabinet and there was some on the wall too. What a mess for Mom to clean.

It's Mom's fault! She should have let me go speed dating. Then she wouldn't have felt guilty and over-fed us on Fancy Feast. I feel good again now. I had my usual blue buffalos for supper.

Looking for love in all the wrong places.


Speed Dating!

September 21st 2011 7:58 pm
[ View A Comments (5) ]

Our Animal Rescue League will have a very special event tomorrow from 6 to 9 pm. It's called Speed Dating - meet your canine or feline match. Oh PLEASE Mom, can I go? I would love to date lots of lovely cat ladies and meet my purrfect feline match.

This is so exciting. What do I say? I want to make a good first impression but there won't be much time to talk to each lady. I wonder if they will provide nip wine and cheese apurrtizers to nibble on while we get to know each other. Just keep the canines away from my table. I'm not dating any canines.

I hope I'll be able to sleep tonight.


Where was Mom?

August 20th 2011 6:57 pm
[ View A Comments (10) ]

Mom came home, she had been gone all day, and she smelled like sheep and horse!! With a hint of cow and pig I think. Huh? What's going on here? Mom looked really beat when she came home. She took a shower and plopped down on the couch saying something about her feet hurting.

I jumped on Mom's lap, purring, trying to lick her face to get the sheep smell off. Now I'm not a lap cat and I hardly ever lay on Mom's lap. But I felt it was necessary to show her that there is no need to aquire a sheep or a horse. If she wants the warmth of a sheep - I can provide that. I stayed on her lap 20 minutes just to prove the point. And if she wants a horse for horsing around - I can do that too.

Now can you guess where Mom was all day? Here are some clues:

Butter Cow

Fried Butter on a stick

Pork Chop on a stick


Turkey Leg


Corn Dog

Bill Riley Talent Search


The biggest Boar

Lamb Burger

Fresh Made Ice Cold Lemonade

Good Night,


Master Chef got me a DDP

August 17th 2011 4:41 am
[ View A Comments (6) ]

I wrote about Master Chef yesterday and now I'm a DDP. Yay! Diary Lady must like food as much as I do. Mietzi wrote about my dirty ears and me barfing a hairball and that got here a DDP.

Sunday was a lovely day. Mid 80s. Mietzi and I were lounging on the patio. We each found one grasshopper to play with. They were hiding in Mom's flowers but we saw them. They were fun to play with. I let mine hop away after I was done playing. I'm a good boy. Mietzi played a little too hard with hers. It was not able to hop away, hee hee. Oh well. That's the way of the world.

You guys have a happy day. I'm planning on doing the same. I'm so honored to be a Daily Diary Pick again. Concats to all the other cats who got picked, especially Hunter, who wrote a very good diary yesterday.

Timo Junge


Master Chef

August 16th 2011 9:11 pm
[ View A Comments ]

We all watched Master Chef tonight. Mietzi on the back of the couch. Mom on the couch and I on the cat tree. It was the final. Oh the suspence. Jennifer or Adrien. Quail or short ribs. Scallops or Prawns. Prawns are like shrimp I think. I don't know. I never had them. OK, the short ribs were too spicey for my taste, I would have liked the scallops raw and why did she stuff the quail with vegetables? Not necessary. But overall it was a good show. It made my mouth water. If Mom could only cook like that. Yeah right. Keep dreaming Timo.

NEXT season I'll apply to be one of the Judges on Master Chef. Yep. Gordon Ramsey and Timo. I'll get to taste all the dishes and give them one to four paws.

Good night. I'll go dream of quail now.

  Sort By Oldest First

Timo Katze - DB #105


Family Pets



(What does RSS do?)