Timo's Tall Tales

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No Speed Dating - No Fall In....Love. Lots of Barf

September 24th 2011 6:20 pm
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You're probably wondering how my speed dating went on Thursday. Mother didn't let me go! Not fair. And I had groomed myself extra handsome and was wearing my nicest collar. A floofy collar in Hawkey black and gold (The Iowa Hawkeyes won today, by the way). Mom says this speed dating thing at our ARL is for the HUMANS to find their perfect kitty or doggy match to adopt. I still think I could have went. I could have adopted a cat, right? A pretty Meezer. And then Friday and today they had something called "Fall In...Love". Mom says this is again just for the humans to get to know and fall in love with adoptable animals. This is at the same Animal Rescue League where I'm from. I think I should be allowed to go and just check out the old digs and say Meowlo to the staff peoples.

Then this morning I did something exciting. Mom came home late Wednesday and yesterday we got lots of Fancy Feast, yummy. I think Mom still felt guilty about being home late and about not letting me go speed dating. Anyway, you know how it says you shouldn't change foods too fast on a kitty. Well, I usually eat the blue buffalos and I got an upset tummy from all the Fancy Feast. I told Mom last night that my tummy hurt. I was meowing and pacing back and forth and asking her to make it better. All my meowing even earned me a short stint in time-out. I can't remember the last time I was in time-out. I'm a good boy.

So this morning we got breakfast early, then Mom went back to bed on account of it being a weekend. Then she heard me barfing. She grabbed me and put me in the bathroom. I had only barfed a little bit in her bedroom. But in the bathroom, oh boy, I had a barf-fest. I was sitting on the thing where the sink is and suddenly I felt yuckery. So I hung my head down and barfed lots of food out. Oh boy, it all ran down the cabinet and there was some on the wall too. What a mess for Mom to clean.

It's Mom's fault! She should have let me go speed dating. Then she wouldn't have felt guilty and over-fed us on Fancy Feast. I feel good again now. I had my usual blue buffalos for supper.

Looking for love in all the wrong places.


Speed Dating!

September 21st 2011 7:58 pm
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Our Animal Rescue League will have a very special event tomorrow from 6 to 9 pm. It's called Speed Dating - meet your canine or feline match. Oh PLEASE Mom, can I go? I would love to date lots of lovely cat ladies and meet my purrfect feline match.

This is so exciting. What do I say? I want to make a good first impression but there won't be much time to talk to each lady. I wonder if they will provide nip wine and cheese apurrtizers to nibble on while we get to know each other. Just keep the canines away from my table. I'm not dating any canines.

I hope I'll be able to sleep tonight.


Where was Mom?

August 20th 2011 6:57 pm
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Mom came home, she had been gone all day, and she smelled like sheep and horse!! With a hint of cow and pig I think. Huh? What's going on here? Mom looked really beat when she came home. She took a shower and plopped down on the couch saying something about her feet hurting.

I jumped on Mom's lap, purring, trying to lick her face to get the sheep smell off. Now I'm not a lap cat and I hardly ever lay on Mom's lap. But I felt it was necessary to show her that there is no need to aquire a sheep or a horse. If she wants the warmth of a sheep - I can provide that. I stayed on her lap 20 minutes just to prove the point. And if she wants a horse for horsing around - I can do that too.

Now can you guess where Mom was all day? Here are some clues:

Butter Cow

Fried Butter on a stick

Pork Chop on a stick


Turkey Leg


Corn Dog

Bill Riley Talent Search


The biggest Boar

Lamb Burger

Fresh Made Ice Cold Lemonade

Good Night,


Master Chef got me a DDP

August 17th 2011 4:41 am
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I wrote about Master Chef yesterday and now I'm a DDP. Yay! Diary Lady must like food as much as I do. Mietzi wrote about my dirty ears and me barfing a hairball and that got here a DDP.

Sunday was a lovely day. Mid 80s. Mietzi and I were lounging on the patio. We each found one grasshopper to play with. They were hiding in Mom's flowers but we saw them. They were fun to play with. I let mine hop away after I was done playing. I'm a good boy. Mietzi played a little too hard with hers. It was not able to hop away, hee hee. Oh well. That's the way of the world.

You guys have a happy day. I'm planning on doing the same. I'm so honored to be a Daily Diary Pick again. Concats to all the other cats who got picked, especially Hunter, who wrote a very good diary yesterday.

Timo Junge


Master Chef

August 16th 2011 9:11 pm
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We all watched Master Chef tonight. Mietzi on the back of the couch. Mom on the couch and I on the cat tree. It was the final. Oh the suspence. Jennifer or Adrien. Quail or short ribs. Scallops or Prawns. Prawns are like shrimp I think. I don't know. I never had them. OK, the short ribs were too spicey for my taste, I would have liked the scallops raw and why did she stuff the quail with vegetables? Not necessary. But overall it was a good show. It made my mouth water. If Mom could only cook like that. Yeah right. Keep dreaming Timo.

NEXT season I'll apply to be one of the Judges on Master Chef. Yep. Gordon Ramsey and Timo. I'll get to taste all the dishes and give them one to four paws.

Good night. I'll go dream of quail now.


Hamsters are on sale

August 13th 2011 4:53 pm
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Hamsters are the pet of the month at the petstore. 15 purrcent off and members save another 2 purrcent. I wonder if they are tasty. Do they taste like ham?


testing, testing 1 2 3

August 8th 2011 8:13 pm
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can you hear me now?
how about now?


No more squeaky doors

August 5th 2011 11:39 am
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"Some trust in chariots, and some in horses;
but we will remember the name of the Lord our God."

That's from a big book that Mom is reading and I kinda like it. Just can't trust them horses and the chariots can break too.
It's in Psalm 20. A Psalm is like a poem or a song says Mom.

I like the rain too that we had today. Rain makes the grass grow and I like to eat grass.

Mom oiled the hinges of our inside doors. They used to go Eeeeee, Eeeeee. Now they are quiet and don't wake me up any more. Mom is glad that she accomplished something during her time off. She also planted new flowers on the patio. The old one were all dried out from the hot weather. And she got two plants for inside the house. And she bought a new rubber thingy that goes under the garage door. You know, that part that keeps the dirt out. The old one had fallen off. She didn't install this one yet. Maybe tomorrow.

Time for a nap now and then maybe I'll go out and eat some grass. Happy Friday to everycat.


It's my Birthday. ha ha, really?

August 3rd 2011 4:25 pm
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Whoo Hoo, it seems today is my Birthday. I got an email from the good people at Petsmart wishing me a happy birthday and, here is the best part, there is a coupon for me to come to the store and pick out a free toy! Wow. I also have to buy something for ten bucks but that's not a problem. We buy lots of stuff there anyway.

My Catster page says April 6th is my birthday. Is it today or April 6th? Mom says April 6th is right. That's not my real birthday either. It's what my adoption papers say and that's what Mom went with. I was too little to remember the day of my birth. So why do the Petsmart people think today is my birthday? Mom had some problem getting their site to work right and she remembers speaking to a nice man on the telephone and I think he asked when her cat's birthday is. So Mom just said August 3rd. She couldn't remember exactly. April 6, August 3, yes Mom - you got it almost right. Mom, how could you not remember your Timo Junge's birthday?

Anyway, I think I'll just leave my Petsmart birthday on this day. So I'll get to celebrate twice. Happy 8 years, 3 month, 27 days birthday to me.

No gifts please. I'll get my gift from Petsmart.
Birthday Junge Timo

Purr Script: Junge is the German word for boy


Wally World is all out of Poopie Bags

July 22nd 2011 7:47 pm
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Tonight Mom went to Wally World to buy some essentials. Bread and ice cream for her, poopie bags for us. Sorry, says Mom, Wally World was all out of poopie bags. What to do?

What are poopie bags? Well, when we make a poopie or pee in the box, Mom puts it in a paper bag and takes it away. It says "lunch bags" on the package. Which makes me wonder if some creatures like the contents of our poopie bags for lunch?

So we were all out. Not one single poopie bag left in the house. I asked Mom what are we supposed to do now? Hold it? I'm a very regular guy and I like to go around 5:30 in the morning, just in time to wake up Mom. Mom said not to panic. We can still go. Mom picked up some plastic sandwich bags for a dollar. Sandwich bags, eh? Which makes me wonder...... could somebody really be making sandwiches with what I leave in the box at 5:30 in the morning? I've heard dogs have a strange taste.

Happy that I can "go" tomorrow morning,

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