Timo's Tall Tales

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DDP and Mom is going away

November 17th 2011 6:51 am
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Whoo Heee. I'm a DDP today. Thank you so much, Diary Girl.
See Tabbies - If you write about a turkey bird you get a DDP.

Thank you to Teddy Bearz and Big Harry who made lovely pictures for me. Teddy Bearz also sent me a blue ribbon. I'll wear that for sure. It gives me the distinguished look I need when I'm running for major. I'm considering if I should run, because a small town in Iowa just elected a dead man as major. I think I would be a better choice.

Teddy Bearz might be my campaign manager. Oh and talking about my pawsome new friend Teddy Bearz, please keep purring for him. He needs your purrs. THAT'S ALL I WANT FOR MY DDP. Keep you zealies please. Just purr for him. Thanks. He commented on my last diary entry. You can click on his picture there and get to his page.

Mom is going to work in a minute and then tonight she will watch 'Wicked' and come home late. I have no idea why she wants to watch something Wicked. And tomorrow she'll have a long day at work. They have a seminar and stuff and lots to do. So she'll let me back on here eventually for my Thank You's. After she's done being busy.

Have a great day everypurr. It's cold in Iowa, 23 degree.
your TK


Coloring a bird and I might run for Major

November 16th 2011 11:08 am
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Oooh, there is a contest in the mewspaper. You color a turkey bird and you can win prizes. The deadline is today. I have to hurry and finish my bird. They have three different CATogories:
under 5 years
6-8 years
and 9-12 years.
I'm 8, so I can purrticipate.

Also in today's mews: You just gotta love Iowa. The people in a small town in Iowa (not our town) elected a new major. Only problem, the major had passed away 5 days before the election. Everybody knew that he wasn't around anymore but they elected him anyway for sentimental reasons. I think I might run for major at the next election. If they can elect a major who is already in heaven, then they can elect a cat too.

First orders of business:
Close our dog park, Yay.
STRICT enforcement of our leash law for dogs. If you don't keep your woofer on a leash, you'll be sentenced to scooping dog-poop for a week.



My Contract with Mom

November 11th 2011 5:50 am
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Well, it seems breakfast and supper are served an hour late around here now. Are they allowed to do that? Change the serving times on us like that? I need to find my contract and see if that is in there. You know that we all sign a contract before moving in with our humans, right? I think I signed mine when I was at the white coats a long time ago. I remember they had some paperwork out just before I fell asleep and some human was holding my paw too. So I guess I must have signed it. This was when I lost my front claws and I think I lost something else too. I just remember feeling different when I woke up. Not bad, just different. Calmer around girlcats for sure.

Anyway, back to my contract. If I remember correctly – and I might have dreamed this - the contract says that I, a cat, am to provide to the human(s):
• Warmth and snuggles when needed
• Comfort and purrs as much as needed
• Headbonks
• A listening ear when needed
• A happy disposition always
• I agreed to use my teeth and claws sparingly and never to cause any serious injury.
• I agreed to listen to whatever name the human chooses to call me.
• I am to allow the human to call me all kinds of cute pet names (*shudder* why is that in there).

In return the human will provide to me:
• Food as much as needed
• A warm place to sleep
• A litter box
• Protection from danger
• Healthcare
• Belly rubs and chin scritches on command
• Reasonable amount of playtime
• Will always look out for my best interests and never, ever abandon me, even when I’m old.

I think I had them put that last clause in there because the last humans I had, before this Mom, they actually abandoned me when they had to move. I think this is a pretty good contract. The woofers usually have more complicated contracts. They have to do all kinds of stuff. Now I need to find my contract and see if there are set food serving times in the fine print.

Off to look through Mom’s paperwork,


Guest Cat

November 6th 2011 12:52 pm
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So we have this guest cat. She’s been visiting off and on for, oh, two and a half years I think. Mom didn’t want us to talk about her because she’s ugly. MOL, just pulling your leg.
No, I think she’s purrty. But we live in a condo – not a cat condo, a human condo – and there are rules on how many cats can live here. So let’s count.
We got me - that’s one.
Mietzi – Mietzi is small, she counts as half a cat.
Guest Cat – Guest Cat is big, she’s as big as I am. So she counts as one cat.
Mom says we would be a little bit over the limit.

So therefore guest cat doesn’t really live here. She’s just a guest. She belongs to somebody else and just spends a lot of time here visiting. Oh, if any of you are friends with Mom on Facebook, pssst, OK? We don’t talk about guest cat on Facebook. Well, we don’t talk about any cat on Facebook. Facebook is for humans, Catster is for kittehs.

I think guest cat is purrty. Very, very purrty. More later.


I won a bag of dog food

November 4th 2011 7:43 pm
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Yippee, I won! I mean Mom won a bag of dog food at the pet store where she buys our food sometime. Mom had entered a drawing and was actually hoping to win the bicycle. Now how silly is that. I don’t ride a bicycle. Well, maybe if it had a little basket Mom could take me for rides. Anyway, Mom got a call about having won dog food and Mom told the nice lady thank you very much but she has no dogs, only cats. The lady said she could have cat food instead. Yessss.

So today, FINALLY, Mom goes over to the store to collect my winnings *jumping up and down*. So the guy in the store tries to give her dog food, Mom explains that she has cats, not dogs and could she have food for cats instead. No, says the guy, this was a special promotion by this one company and there is only dog food. Mom tells him but the lady who called said she could have cat food. So the guy says the lady is not working today but he’ll see what he can do. He goes away to make a phone call (most likely to the lady who promised us cat food). He comes back and YES that company also makes cat food and they have some in the store. He just didn’t know that they have it. Chicken, Duck or Salmon? Chicken, says Mom. Chicken is always good.

GOOD CHOICE Mom. Mom I love you. THANKS for not bringing home dog food or a bicycle. The new bonbons are delicious. Mietzi and I already tried. Mmmh yum yum. Only guest cat didn’t get any. Guest cat is supposed to lose some weight and she already had enough wet food. Oops. I’m not really supposed to talk about guest cat but Mom has decided, after much thinking, to kinda let you guys know about her. And besides. Today is guest cat’s birthday and Mom FORGOT. Ha. I know who Mom loves the best. ME. Because Mom didn’t forget about my bonbons.

More later about guest cat. But tomorrow Mom has to get her hair colored, her tires rotated, clean, wash, shop, cook. No – Mom doesn’t cook. Go out to eat. And then maybe she’ll let me back on here to talk about guest cat.

Nighty night. I need to beg for more bonbons. They are from Fromm.


German Halloween Story

November 1st 2011 5:49 pm
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I already wrote about this in Charlie Chocolate Paw’s diary but I thought I’d share with everycat.

German Halloween Story. Yeah, I know Halloween is over. Sorry, I just thought about it.
In Germany (where Mom grew up) they don’t celebrate Halloween. A few years ago the following happened to our German Grandparents:

Our Mom was already living on her own and the German Grandparents are old, like a 100 or so. So one night a few years ago on October 31st the doorbell rings. German Grandpaw answers and there are three juveniles, maybe 15/16 years old, on his doorstep.

The kids say HAPPY HALLOWEEN and TRICK OR TREAT. German Grandpaw gets a bit scared because the kids are dressed in scary costumes. He doesn’t speak English so he asks them what is this all about and what are you saying. The kids say: Don’t you know? Tonight is Halloween. German Grandpaw asks what that is. The kids say it’s a holiday from America and a lot of people in Germany celebrate it now (not true). And what you do is you dress up and go from house to house and then people have to give you beer or schnaps. The kids say: You have to give us beer or schnaps or we’ll do a scary trick.

German Grandpaw told them there is no way that he is giving alcohol to juveniles and they better get off his property right now or he’ll call the cops. The kids left.

Nice try kids.


R.I.P. Ohio Lions, Tigers and Bears

October 20th 2011 5:30 am
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Oooh, this is so sad. Ohio Lions, Tigers and Bears Rest in Peace, dear ones. Humankind has failed you. What the heck. This makes me so mad. Humans are supposed to look out for us and protect us. That's their job. They are the intelligent species. How was this man, who was a known animal abuser, allowed to have all these animals? It takes A LOT of time, money and special training to be able to keep exotic animals like these properly. Change the laws, gosh darnit. People shouldn't be able to order exotic animals on the internet like ordering a sweater.

On another subject: the diary comment function is fixed now. Thanks tech-cats for keeping us safe and keeping unintelligent people out of here. But I have decided that I want to approve every comment first before it goes live. So don't be surprised friends if you don't see your comment immediately. Thanks for your patience.


Only way to read diaries is to click on the cat's name, then- scroll down to their diary

October 16th 2011 8:13 pm
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Well, nopurr can read this entry anyway. I hope the title explains it. The Catster server seems to be taking a very long cat nap today. Time to get back to work. Wake up server.


My bonbons went POP (for Hunter)

October 10th 2011 8:54 pm
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HUNTER, this one is for you.
Yesterday was a peaceful afternoon. Mom was in the living room reading a book, Mietzi was asleep on Mom's bed. Then suddenly Mom heard a very loud POP from the kitchen. What was that? Did a light bulb explode? Mom goes to investigate. I am sitting on the counter. Oh, the plastic container with the bonbons, which was sitting on the counter, is on the kitchen floor and a few bonbons have fallen out. How did that happen?

I don't know. But Mom opened the container and gave me a few bonbons. Mission accomplished. I love bonbons but I never get enough of them. Mom had just moved my precious bonbons from a large glass container to a smaller plastic container. After it fell off the counter she put it away in the hall closet. Noooo, I can't open the closet.


Get Ingen Home ** HQ approved fundraiser **

October 3rd 2011 6:44 pm
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I'm sure you've all heard about Ingen (Catster ID 1011864). About how she went missing on Thursday during a cross country move. Her Mom was moving from Michigan to Washington. Ingen was found Sunday!! We are all so happy. She was still in the hotel, hiding between the mattress and box spring.

All the Catsters here have really come together with ideas and support and now that she's been found there is just one more thing to do. Ingen's Mom had to continue her trip to Washington State. So now Ingen just needs to get to her new home to WA.

Alex Sweet Angel Girl, ID 112787 has organized a fundraiser to pay for Ingen's trip home. And for the fee that the shelter charges where Ingen had to stay for two days. You can donate on Alex' Mom's website here: IBDkitties.net
Red box on the right side is the donation widgit. Every little bit helps get Ingen home to her Mom and cat-brofur.
This fundraiser has been approved by Catster HQ.

You can read more about Ingen's story in the plus Forum, Plus Power of the Paw.

Thank Mew.

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