Timo's Tall Tales

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Riddle - What is 99?

July 16th 2012 7:39 pm
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What is 99?

A - the number of kibble pieces left in my kibble container? (Yikes! MOM, I NEED more kibble!!)

B - the number of bottles of nip-lemonade on the wall? (Mmmmh nip)

C - the temperature here in Central Iowa today? (Heat, heat go away. Rain come our way)

D - the number of times Mietzi meows to be let outside on an average day? (Yes, Mom always goes with her)

Post the answer in the comments.

 

Would you like to wake up with happy thoughts?

July 2nd 2012 9:06 pm
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Found a leaflet stuck in our storm door today:
"Would you like to wake up every morning with happy, positive thoughts?"

That's were I quit reading. I AM waking up with happy thoughts every morning.

Happy thoughts about Mom making me breakfast. What will it be today? Turkey, chicken, lamb or fish. Or a combination? Sliced, diced or pate?

Happy thoughts about sitting here with the cool air-blowy thingy while it's 98 degree outside.

Happy thoughts about watching the birdies in the morning and a few days ago I saw a little Bunny hop on by.

Happy thoughts about wrestling matches with Mietzi.

Thanks, I don't need any help with my happy thoughts.

Happy purrs,
Timo

 

Mom won't let us go to the Cat's Meow

June 10th 2012 5:11 pm
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Mietzi and I got an invitation in the mail to attend 'The Cat's Meow'. It was addressed to Mom but it's for us because we are the only felines livng here. The Cat's Meow is a Feline Benefit for our local shelter. I'm from that shelter. I really want to go. There is going to be snacks, music, silent auction, more snacks, door prizes, a cash bar, snacks for the way home.

The invitation is printed on nice papurr (see photo on my page) and there is a R.S.V.P. (Return So we know how much Veal to Prepare) card and return envelope. Mom is not very nice because she won't let us go! It's the same night that she's going to see a Mewsical and she already has her tickets. Now what is more important? Fundraising for shelter cats or watching some silly humans sing and dance?

 

Hazel Lucy is gone - Mom will see Rain soon

May 15th 2012 4:02 pm
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Mom says she's going to see Rain over the weekend. I don't know about that. It's 86 and not a cloud in the sky. I don't know where she'll find Rain.

We are making our own Rain tho. Tears are falling because the wonderful Hazel Lucy is gone. Just gone from Caster. Oh, we are so sad. The wonderful Angel Miss Hazel Lucy has helped so many furs over the years and done so much for others. We don't understand. Catster without HL? It's not possible, is it? HL's page is gone. Her sister Mazie is still here.

*sniff* HL come back please. I miss you.
(also see Samoa's diary from yesterday)

 

Kisses for Beepers and we're buying an Elephant shoe

April 28th 2012 5:32 pm
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Mom was so busy at work, she still hasn't bought us a new car. But Mom wants to hug and kiss Beepers (bleek) because he suggested a Honda CR-V and Mom drove one Monday and she just loves it. She tested some other cars too but the CR-V is still her favorite.

Mietzi and I have been doing our own car research and we decided that Mom needs to buy an Elephant shoe, also known as Mini Cooper. Mom calls them Elephant shoe, no offense intended to the elephants or to people who actually drive one of these. We think if Mietzi stands on her tippy toes she can reach the steering wheel. And I can step on the gas and, vroooom, off we go to the next pet store. Or to the ocean.

Also, I need to remind Mom that I got a tire for my birthday. Our new Elephant shoe car only needs to have three tires.

Yesterday evening Mom was gone AGAIN. Instead of taking the Mietzi for a walk or playing with me, she stuffed her face at "Taste of the Nations". It's something that her church put on to support missionaries. It's a big dinner and people got to sample food from different countries. There was cold potato and leek soup from France (yes, the French really eat cold soup), Eyetalian appetizers (oh boy, there were so many), Mexican food and Asian food. Oh, and desert too.

Mom says it was so much fun and there was so much food and it was so good. When Mom finally came waddling into the door we were very disappointed that she didn't ask for a kitty-bag. They told people that they could go back for seconds but Mom was stuffed and couldn't eat another bite.

So we wait for our Elephant shoe with three tires to be delivered any day now.

 

Car Hunting

April 21st 2012 5:14 pm
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Mom only caught and tested two cars today, her back kinda hurt. But we're making progress. Toyota RAV4, oh yeah. Like.
Nissan Rogue, hmmm, maybe.

On the way back from the dealer, on I-80, something funny happened. Mom was driving along and suddenly all the displays that show the speed and how much fuel you have and stuff, went black. She could just very faintly make out how fast she was going. Normally our Vibe's display is red on black. Mom thought, oh well, if she can't see how fast she's going she'll just eyeball it. I wonder when the Police stops her, if they accept the argument: hey Officer, sorry, i can't see how fast I'm going. Not my fault if I was going too fast.

When Mom was back home she fiddled with the dial and the display came back on. Thank catness. Mom wasn't going to get that fixed but it's just safer if you can see how fast you're going.

Now Mom talks alot about fog lights and moonroof (huh, the moon doesn't have a roof) I've been thinking about the important extras that this new car needs to have:

a cat bed - why are there no cat beds in cars? We would not need to sit in pet carriers if there was only a comfortable cat bed. That's why we scream and holler in our carriers.

a velvet blanket to knead - a friend of mine has a velvet blanket and he says velvet is the best

an automatic kibble dispenser and water bowl holder - Mom, you snack in the car, so why should we go hungry?

a litter robot for when we need to go. You don't want to make a pit stop every time a cat needs to go, right?

the back of the drivers seat should have a surface for scratching. Sisal, carpet or cardboard. Why hasn't anybody thought of that? Turn the back of the seat into a scratching post.

Nip cigars and nip bananas need to be kept in the glove box, yeah.

What other extras do you think we'll need?

 

What car should I buy?

April 20th 2012 6:23 pm
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Hi furs:
I'm looking to buy a new car. Well, actually Mom will pay for it but I'm helping her select one. What kind do you drive, um ride? Do you like it?

Mom's car is almost 10 yrs. old and got over 100,000 miles on it. So I figured it's time for a new one.

I want one that's very quiet, doesn't stink, has nice soft cushions and never drives to the vet. It needs to have room for two to three cats and a chauffeur. (no dogs allowed!)

Mom wants one that's dependable, cheap and has some room in the back. We are thinking maybe Ford Escape, Toyota RAV4, Chevy Equinox, Honda CR-V, Kia Sportage. Maybe Subaru Forester would be nice because all of them drive with all wheels. Nissan Rogue? Does anypurr have a Rogue?

The new car needs to have food bowl holders, a automatic water fountain and a built in litter robot. Very important: it needs to have WCAT TV. We need our WCAT with Newmie's traffic updates from the hot air balloon and Samoa McBoa with the latest breaking news.

What car do we have now? *hangs head in shame* An old Pontiac Vibe. Mom likes it a lot. It got lots of room in the back, more than you'd think from looking at it. Let me know what you think.

Thanks. Vrrooom, Vrrooomm

 

I got a tire for my birthday

April 9th 2012 7:54 pm
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Thank you SO MUCH everypaw for all the neat gifts, comments, mails, photos for my birthday. You guys are great. I was so happy that somebody at least remembered my birthday. Thank yous are coming. Mom is slow with this as always.

Mom has somewhat made up for it that she forgot my birthday on Friday.
Saturday she rushed to the pet supply store to find something for me. She got me a tire. No, not the one around my waist. This one you can play with. You can jump through and on top and you can chase your sisfur around it. You can sit on top of it and shapen your claws too. (see photo on my page)

Sunday I got a mouse (photo on my page also). And then Mom sprinkled nip on the carpet for us to enjoy. This is special, wonderful home-grown nip from dear friends of us. Whoo Hoo, we had a nip pawty and went all crazy. We started chasing each other and wrestling. Guest cat, who stays here sometimes, really had to get out of the way, because Mietzi was zooming by with top speed and made those weird meows that almost sound like barking. Guest cat is weird, she is not affected by nip at all. And to top it all off we got these pawsome natural Salmon treats that Mom got from the Brown Dog Bakery a little while ago. Yes, Mom met a brown dog there. But he was just a customer, he doesn't live there. He begged Mom for some of our kitty treats because his Mom was chatting and slow to pick out his treats.

So it was a nice birthweekend. But I think Mom still owes me. I'll think of more ways to collect.

Hope you all had a nice Easter weekend.
Purrs,
Timo

 

I have the worst Mother ever

April 6th 2012 7:41 pm
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Oh my cat. You won't believe this. This mother of mine is the worst one of all. Do you know what she did? She FORGOT my birthday. It's my birthday today Mom!

Mom came home from Good Friday service and checked her email. I heard her mumbling: why are there so many from Catster?
Well, because it's my birthday, Mom!

So I got nothing today. No 'Happy birthday dear Timo', no gifts, no snacks, no extra snuggles. What am I supposed to do with this human?

I am glad that my birthday is on Good Friday this year. It is a Good Friday indeed. The Lamb has paid the price once and for all. We will praise your name, Jesus.

That's from a song that the choir at church sang and Mom has been singing it ever since she came home.

Thank you so much for your gifts and pawmails. I have to go do something about Mom now. I just don't know what yet. I'm open for suggestions.

Love,
birthday boy Timo

 

Geese get a handout, Turkeys don't

March 24th 2012 7:23 am
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Some burd news for all my cat friends:

Geese first - Father and mother goose found a perfect spot for their nest. A big planter in front of a Mexican Restaurant here in Des Moines. The mom has laid about three eggs (it's hard to get close enough to get an exact count). Father goose is busy protecting his future offspring. If people walk too close, he will hiss at them. If people go way too close, he will try to bite them. Father goose also sits on top of customer's parked cars just to make a point about who's territory this is. The restaurant staff is happy about their new neighbors. They report the happy couple doesn't like chips but they eat crumbs. Who knew that geese like Mexican.

Turkeys next - The Department of Natural Resources, in a certain Iowa town, is asking people NOT to feed the wild turkeys. They don't want the dozen or so turkeys to get used to handouts. Also, the males can get aggressive in the springtime protecting their hens. If you find wild turkeys on your property, chase them away and tell them: Go find your own food.

Copycat rights: freely retold after Des Moines Register articles from 3/23/12 (geese) and the other I don't know. Somepurr ripped the date off that page.

 
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