Timo's Tall Tales

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What I have missed at the Iowa State Fair

August 10th 2012 3:24 pm
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The Fair started yesterday. We bugged Mom that we wanted to go but she didn't take us. I've missed the Turkey Calling Competition :( I would have loved to see how many turkeys come when called.

Also the mass Zumba class held on the main concord. Yes, I can zumba.

Now I just missed the "eat as much chocolate ice cream as you can in two minutes without using your hands or paws" :(



August 1st 2012 5:00 pm
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Woke up this morning, checked email, and there were so many from Catster. I was thinking, Did Mom forget my birthday AGAIN? Wait a minute..... my birthday is not today. Did I forget my birthday? Let's check my birth certifiCAT. Oh, I don't have one. Let's check my Catster page. Yup, my birthday is still on April 6th. Hmmm Diary Pick? Nope. Cat of the Day? Nope.

Let's read some of these notes on the cakes. Oooh free cake. Yay.
I've been stuffing my face since this morning. I can't eat another bite. Rest goes in the fridge and the freezer.

THANK YOU DEAR FRIENDS. I might have to take up exercising now. I need to get busy and mail some cakes out to everyfur.


XXX Oh! Lympics?

July 27th 2012 8:46 am
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So my friend Toby http://www.catster.com/cats/1185981/ who lives in England has told me all about the Oh!Lympics. They are in his county and all the humans are so excited about it.

Mom says we're going to watch it tonight. I consulted my TV schedule so that I could get the snacks and the comfy blankie ready in time and it says the XXX Summer Olympics start at 6:30 pm. What? Why is that show marked XXX? I was telling Mom that we are NOT going to watch anything XXX. Oh my catness, why would you watch anything like that? Mom says usually you have to stay away from anything marked XXX but with the Oh!Lympics it's okay because the XXX just means it's the 30th Summer Oh!Lympics. Well, we'll see. I'm gonna sneak a peak tonight. Hope it turns out OK.



July 18th 2012 4:06 am
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Furs. We have a serious problem. Please pray and purr for rain everypaw. Many States here in the USA are in a drought right now. We've had mid to upper 90s temps for 3 weeks now with two puny rain showers and no end in sight.

Iowa is the nations top producer for corn and soy beans. A quarter of the corn harvest is basically ruined already. The governor declared some southern counties as agricultural disaster zone. Purrsonally I don't like corn. I eat food that has no corn in it. But corn is in a lot of the stuff that the humans eat. This affects everypaw. Your food prices will go up or have gone up already. Fuel with ethanol in it will go up. Our ground water levels are very low. Fish are dying because their rivers and lakes get hot. Trees are losing their leaves, young trees are in danger of not making it. There is an increased risk of fires with it being so dry.

Mom needs to go and water our tree now she says.
Very concerned,


Riddle - What is 99?

July 16th 2012 7:39 pm
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What is 99?

A - the number of kibble pieces left in my kibble container? (Yikes! MOM, I NEED more kibble!!)

B - the number of bottles of nip-lemonade on the wall? (Mmmmh nip)

C - the temperature here in Central Iowa today? (Heat, heat go away. Rain come our way)

D - the number of times Mietzi meows to be let outside on an average day? (Yes, Mom always goes with her)

Post the answer in the comments.


Would you like to wake up with happy thoughts?

July 2nd 2012 9:06 pm
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Found a leaflet stuck in our storm door today:
"Would you like to wake up every morning with happy, positive thoughts?"

That's were I quit reading. I AM waking up with happy thoughts every morning.

Happy thoughts about Mom making me breakfast. What will it be today? Turkey, chicken, lamb or fish. Or a combination? Sliced, diced or pate?

Happy thoughts about sitting here with the cool air-blowy thingy while it's 98 degree outside.

Happy thoughts about watching the birdies in the morning and a few days ago I saw a little Bunny hop on by.

Happy thoughts about wrestling matches with Mietzi.

Thanks, I don't need any help with my happy thoughts.

Happy purrs,


Mom won't let us go to the Cat's Meow

June 10th 2012 5:11 pm
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Mietzi and I got an invitation in the mail to attend 'The Cat's Meow'. It was addressed to Mom but it's for us because we are the only felines livng here. The Cat's Meow is a Feline Benefit for our local shelter. I'm from that shelter. I really want to go. There is going to be snacks, music, silent auction, more snacks, door prizes, a cash bar, snacks for the way home.

The invitation is printed on nice papurr (see photo on my page) and there is a R.S.V.P. (Return So we know how much Veal to Prepare) card and return envelope. Mom is not very nice because she won't let us go! It's the same night that she's going to see a Mewsical and she already has her tickets. Now what is more important? Fundraising for shelter cats or watching some silly humans sing and dance?


Hazel Lucy is gone - Mom will see Rain soon

May 15th 2012 4:02 pm
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Mom says she's going to see Rain over the weekend. I don't know about that. It's 86 and not a cloud in the sky. I don't know where she'll find Rain.

We are making our own Rain tho. Tears are falling because the wonderful Hazel Lucy is gone. Just gone from Caster. Oh, we are so sad. The wonderful Angel Miss Hazel Lucy has helped so many furs over the years and done so much for others. We don't understand. Catster without HL? It's not possible, is it? HL's page is gone. Her sister Mazie is still here.

*sniff* HL come back please. I miss you.
(also see Samoa's diary from yesterday)


Kisses for Beepers and we're buying an Elephant shoe

April 28th 2012 5:32 pm
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Mom was so busy at work, she still hasn't bought us a new car. But Mom wants to hug and kiss Beepers (bleek) because he suggested a Honda CR-V and Mom drove one Monday and she just loves it. She tested some other cars too but the CR-V is still her favorite.

Mietzi and I have been doing our own car research and we decided that Mom needs to buy an Elephant shoe, also known as Mini Cooper. Mom calls them Elephant shoe, no offense intended to the elephants or to people who actually drive one of these. We think if Mietzi stands on her tippy toes she can reach the steering wheel. And I can step on the gas and, vroooom, off we go to the next pet store. Or to the ocean.

Also, I need to remind Mom that I got a tire for my birthday. Our new Elephant shoe car only needs to have three tires.

Yesterday evening Mom was gone AGAIN. Instead of taking the Mietzi for a walk or playing with me, she stuffed her face at "Taste of the Nations". It's something that her church put on to support missionaries. It's a big dinner and people got to sample food from different countries. There was cold potato and leek soup from France (yes, the French really eat cold soup), Eyetalian appetizers (oh boy, there were so many), Mexican food and Asian food. Oh, and desert too.

Mom says it was so much fun and there was so much food and it was so good. When Mom finally came waddling into the door we were very disappointed that she didn't ask for a kitty-bag. They told people that they could go back for seconds but Mom was stuffed and couldn't eat another bite.

So we wait for our Elephant shoe with three tires to be delivered any day now.


Car Hunting

April 21st 2012 5:14 pm
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Mom only caught and tested two cars today, her back kinda hurt. But we're making progress. Toyota RAV4, oh yeah. Like.
Nissan Rogue, hmmm, maybe.

On the way back from the dealer, on I-80, something funny happened. Mom was driving along and suddenly all the displays that show the speed and how much fuel you have and stuff, went black. She could just very faintly make out how fast she was going. Normally our Vibe's display is red on black. Mom thought, oh well, if she can't see how fast she's going she'll just eyeball it. I wonder when the Police stops her, if they accept the argument: hey Officer, sorry, i can't see how fast I'm going. Not my fault if I was going too fast.

When Mom was back home she fiddled with the dial and the display came back on. Thank catness. Mom wasn't going to get that fixed but it's just safer if you can see how fast you're going.

Now Mom talks alot about fog lights and moonroof (huh, the moon doesn't have a roof) I've been thinking about the important extras that this new car needs to have:

a cat bed - why are there no cat beds in cars? We would not need to sit in pet carriers if there was only a comfortable cat bed. That's why we scream and holler in our carriers.

a velvet blanket to knead - a friend of mine has a velvet blanket and he says velvet is the best

an automatic kibble dispenser and water bowl holder - Mom, you snack in the car, so why should we go hungry?

a litter robot for when we need to go. You don't want to make a pit stop every time a cat needs to go, right?

the back of the drivers seat should have a surface for scratching. Sisal, carpet or cardboard. Why hasn't anybody thought of that? Turn the back of the seat into a scratching post.

Nip cigars and nip bananas need to be kept in the glove box, yeah.

What other extras do you think we'll need?

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