Timo's Tall Tales

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A litter box for Christmas?

December 16th 2012 9:19 pm
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Word is we might be getting a new litter box for Christmas :( Really Mom? Do you think that's a good gift for Christmas? What if we would give you a new Toilet for Christmas. How would you like that?

How do I know about the box? Well, it's easy. You just check your Mom's email and watch for the "your order has shipped" notice. This order is being shipped to Mom's work address. Hey, maybe it's not for us. Maybe they have an office cat at work that needs a box?

Hoping for some pawsome presents,


ATTENTION everyfur: Miss Zoey is having a contest!!

October 4th 2012 8:15 pm
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Miss Zoey is having a cool contest. Purrlease go to her diary and read all about it. Miss Zoey is the first undercover Cat of the Week. Please read contest rules CAREPURRLY. If you don't live in the U.S. you can win zealies. Watchcat has chipped those in. And if you do live in the U.S., you can even win a prize that the pretty Miss Zoey will purrsonally deliver. Oops I'm dreaming again. Zoey will mail your prize, not paw-deliver it.

Here is the linky to Miss Zoey

Why am I telling you all and lower my own chances of winning?
Because it's fun and the more, the merrier.
Because I'm a nice cat, Mom always says I am.
Because Miss Zoey is a pretty cat and everypaw should go to her diary and look at her pretty pictures.

Good luck to all.


Celebrating my poopy success

October 2nd 2012 3:29 am
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That is nice that Catster gave free balloons out yesterday to celebrate my poopy success. After being all plugged up Friday night and a trip to the vet which resulted in an enema (ewwwww) I did a little poopy Sunday morning.

Yesterday morning I went all out. First I did a regular size poop. Mom put that in a paper bag and took it outside. A few minutes later I felt the need to visit the box again. Two more HUGE poopies came out of me. Wow, I guess I was all plugged up. All systems are working great again. Thanks for all the balloons, friends, to celebrate my poop pile with me. We just didn't have time to send any. Mom had some bible study thing yesterday and came home late.

Poop on.


Do you know what an Enema is?

September 28th 2012 8:15 pm
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Hi friends,
I have embarrassing news. Do you all know what an enema is? Um, could the Ladies please all go and get their nails done or something.....

Okay, fellas listen. You don't ever want to get one of those. Mom got me one today and I didn't like it one bit. I had some litter box problems when Mom came home from work. I tried to go and tried to go and tried again but nothing came. Then I barfed out my supper. Then I started meowing really loud. Mom was going to check me out but I yelled at her NOT to touch me. Mom was getting scared because it was 6 pm and our vet closes at 8. And what if it's a urinary tract blockage? I had that years ago and it is very dangerous and expensive. So I was chauffeured to the vet.

The whole trip there I was yelling at Mom that this is NOT necessary. I'll get my business done. Just give me some time. I don't need any help! My goodness was the vet busy. They have four exam rooms and all were occupied. One after the other big dogs came out and finally I was escorted into exam room number three. The doc ask Mom how she's been. Good, she said. Hallo! Cat here not feeling so good! Vet prodded my poor belly and said my bladder is almost empty. I'm not blocked. It must be constipation. Oh thank God. Mom had been praying that it would be constipation. (Mom, could you pray for Tunie Samiches instead please?)

Now I was taken to the back. Hmph, no snacks there. They looked at me with X-ray vision. Yup, said doc. That confirms it. I had a feces ball which I apparently could not push out. Actually, I had been working a long time on that ball. Balls are fun. Just ask your dog. You know what vet lady wanted to do? Oh my gosh, this is really embarrassing. *blush* She was going to try to extract my feces ball manually. Off she went to try that. 10 seconds later she was back to report to Mom that I was not cooperating (you think!). I was in too much pain. What they would do now is sedate me. Not all of me, just the lower parts. That way they could clean me out and I wouldn't even notice. Well, I did notice! First they put something into me. It's called an enema and it's nasty. Mom was told it would take about an hour. So she went shopping (The nerve of that woman to go shopping when I'm suffering!) An hour later she picked me up all squeaky clean. The vet said I need to spend the night in the bathroom because I might leak. Also there might be "blowout" and Mom probably doesn't want my blowout all over her couch.

So here I am in the bathroom. We have a big bathroom. There are two old towels, food, water and a nice litter box. Mom thinks I need more exercise. Nope. I would have taken care of my feces ball. This was all so unnecessary. Poor Mom left a lot of bucks at the vet place. She was gonna buy herself a crown but she said it'll have to wait a bit. That's good because we already have a queen - Sisfur Mietzi.

Stay clean as a whistle everypaw.


Rats-Pie starboard side ahead

September 19th 2012 3:47 am
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I'm a Pie-Rat and I don't care. I walk around all day in my underfur.

Ahoy me maties. Full steam ahead. Hard starboard side. Look out yonder. Tharrrr she blows. Arrrrg, a treasure chest for me hearties. Quick-like, pull her in maties.
Heave Hoooo.
Heave Hooooo.
Heave Hoooo.
Gaaaar, bust err open on the double! Arrrrrrg, a treasure chest full a yummy pie. Rats-Pie, Mmmmmh, me favorite. Hoooo Cap'n Black Zack, back up. Not one step closer. Ya steal me Rats-Pie, ya get nip in yar eye. Gaaaaar.

Happy talk like de Pie-Rats day.


How to be a DDP and I'm missing the Fair!

August 16th 2012 5:48 pm
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How to be a DDP. You just need to brew lots of nip tea for a sisfur who temporarely lost her meow. And you gotta say things like: Oooh poor Mietzi, I'm so sorry that you can't meow. (Finally I can get a word in, MOL). Thank mew all who stopped by to concatulate me to my DDP.

The State Fair started last week Purrsday and Mom STILL didn't take us. Well, Mietzi can't go anyway. She lost her meow last Caturday. She kinda got it back now. She's still too quiet, and Mom heard her cough this morning and just now, so we better leave her at home.

I'm missing all the fun stuff at the Fair. I missed the sack race and the Milk Chug-A-Lug Contest. And I wanted to learn how to make a quilt. Just imagine, I could have quilted my own quilt to sleep on. Then there is the food: Corn Dogs (hold the corn on mine), turkey legs, pork chop on a stick, lamb burger, Eyetalian meatball samich, cheese curds, mouse on a stick....

Then there is the Bill Riley Talent search and I wanted to sing for them. Then there is Iowa's Beautiful Bluebirds!!! and Mountain Lions in Iowa, Archery Basics, Trumpeting for Trumpeter Swans, Duck Calling Contest, Line Dance Lessons. The Grape Stomp sounds like fun and the Ham and Bacon judging. There is a Bangal Tiger Encounger (scary!!) and The World of the Wolf and I wanted to go to the Petting Zoo :(
MOM I need to go to the Fair, Pleeeeeeease.


What I have missed at the Iowa State Fair

August 10th 2012 3:24 pm
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The Fair started yesterday. We bugged Mom that we wanted to go but she didn't take us. I've missed the Turkey Calling Competition :( I would have loved to see how many turkeys come when called.

Also the mass Zumba class held on the main concord. Yes, I can zumba.

Now I just missed the "eat as much chocolate ice cream as you can in two minutes without using your hands or paws" :(



August 1st 2012 5:00 pm
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Woke up this morning, checked email, and there were so many from Catster. I was thinking, Did Mom forget my birthday AGAIN? Wait a minute..... my birthday is not today. Did I forget my birthday? Let's check my birth certifiCAT. Oh, I don't have one. Let's check my Catster page. Yup, my birthday is still on April 6th. Hmmm Diary Pick? Nope. Cat of the Day? Nope.

Let's read some of these notes on the cakes. Oooh free cake. Yay.
I've been stuffing my face since this morning. I can't eat another bite. Rest goes in the fridge and the freezer.

THANK YOU DEAR FRIENDS. I might have to take up exercising now. I need to get busy and mail some cakes out to everyfur.


XXX Oh! Lympics?

July 27th 2012 8:46 am
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So my friend Toby http://www.catster.com/cats/1185981/ who lives in England has told me all about the Oh!Lympics. They are in his county and all the humans are so excited about it.

Mom says we're going to watch it tonight. I consulted my TV schedule so that I could get the snacks and the comfy blankie ready in time and it says the XXX Summer Olympics start at 6:30 pm. What? Why is that show marked XXX? I was telling Mom that we are NOT going to watch anything XXX. Oh my catness, why would you watch anything like that? Mom says usually you have to stay away from anything marked XXX but with the Oh!Lympics it's okay because the XXX just means it's the 30th Summer Oh!Lympics. Well, we'll see. I'm gonna sneak a peak tonight. Hope it turns out OK.



July 18th 2012 4:06 am
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Furs. We have a serious problem. Please pray and purr for rain everypaw. Many States here in the USA are in a drought right now. We've had mid to upper 90s temps for 3 weeks now with two puny rain showers and no end in sight.

Iowa is the nations top producer for corn and soy beans. A quarter of the corn harvest is basically ruined already. The governor declared some southern counties as agricultural disaster zone. Purrsonally I don't like corn. I eat food that has no corn in it. But corn is in a lot of the stuff that the humans eat. This affects everypaw. Your food prices will go up or have gone up already. Fuel with ethanol in it will go up. Our ground water levels are very low. Fish are dying because their rivers and lakes get hot. Trees are losing their leaves, young trees are in danger of not making it. There is an increased risk of fires with it being so dry.

Mom needs to go and water our tree now she says.
Very concerned,

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