Colette's Diary

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My Funny Valentine

February 14th 2011 4:07 am
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In honor of Valentine’s Day we thought that instead of complaining, we would talk about the things we love about each other.

It may be a few days before we get back to effuryone with thanks for Marrakech’s DDP. Our computer is old enough and has had enough problems that it’s going to the computer bridge—it’s only a matter of time before it dies and we lose all our stuff. We just got a new one and need to take the time to set it up and get our files transferred. But in the meantime, we do want to celebrate Valentine’s Day.

As a preface to this writing thought we’d post the wonderful lyrics to Rogers & Hart’s , classic song, “My Funny Valentine”. Obviously not everything is appropriate. We’re cats, not peeps or birds, but the general idea holds so true for us.

My Funny Valentine.
Rogers & Hart

Behold the way my fine feathered friend
Thy virtue doth parade.
Thou knowest not, my dim-witted friend
The picture thou hast made.

Thy vacant brow and thy tousled hair conceal thy good intent.
Thou noble, upright, truthful, sincere,
And slightly dopey gent.

You’re my funny valentine
Sweet, comic valentine,
You make me smile with my heart.

Your looks are laughable,
Un-photographable.
Yet you’re my favorite work of art.

Is your figure less than Greek?
Is your mouth a little weak?
When you open it to speak,
Are you smart?

But don’t change a hair for me
Not if your care for me.
Stay, little Valentine. Stay!
Each day is Valentine’s Day.

###

Yes, I am a smarty-pants. But you know something? I’ve been around the block a few times and I’ve earned that badge through the school of hard knocks.

Marrakech and Samsara never knew anything but kindness. They went straight from their biological mothers’ home to Mom. I wish I had been so lucky. I belonged to a family once, and I was always sick. And because I was always sick, I was cranky. Wouldn’t you be cranky if you always felt sick? You know what that family did? They dumped me at Manhattan CACC, a high-kill shelter. Bideawee rescued me, and that’s when the rest of my life began. Bideawee didn’t know what was wrong with me either. They tried to make me better—probably just well enough so that someone could adopt me.

Mom saw my picture here on Catster. I was pawing at the glass door of the cage I was in, calling “come get me”. I need someone to love too. Mom saw that picture and we bonded even before we met. She came to meet me and I took one look at her and that was it for me. I wrapped myself around her legs. I let her put her face in my belly and play with my paws and my tail…

They put a bowl of food in the middle of that room where we got to know each other. I was always hungry and really skinny back then because my body couldn’t digest the nutrients in the food. I had such a hard time deciding between eating that food and making sure that the lady who came to meet me didn’t leave without me. (She did leave without me, but only for the weekend so the shelter could finish giving me a round of antibiotics. She wanted to make sure that we didn’t start off on the wrong footing.) In the end, I abandoned the food and gave Mom my full attention.

I’m not going to say I never looked back. With a history like mine, you carry a lot of baggage with you. It’s really taken me a while to accept that I really do have a home now. And I love it here. Okay, so Marrakech is a pain, but Samsara is really sweet. Do I have to tell you how much I love Mom? I take really good care to make sure she knows it. There’s not a day that goes by without my holding her hand with my paw, without giving her gummy kisses, and without making sure I greet her and do my happy dance when she walks in the door. In short, there’s not a day that goes by without my saying “thank you for loving me”. I make sure that her day always starts with me—I jump on the toilet seat asking for my brushies (usually before she gets her coffee). Not right? Why? I always give her headbonks and gummy kisses too... And I’m always sorry afterwards when I lose my temper over nothing and give her the smacky paw….

This is Mom: Oh, Colette. You are a hard nut to crack, but that is what’s so lovable about you. You’ve gone from a skinny mangy-looking girl, to a gorgeous floof-ball. If you want unconditional love, get a dog. If you want an intellectual challenge, get Colette. One minute you’re stuck- up and aloof, the next minute, there’s no sweeter more lovable kitty than you. And you are so smart in so many ways. You argue with me and you make me laugh.

I just realized that there’s no such thing as reading a book or a magazine in the house anymore. You walk onto them all and cover them. I also realized that I’ve migrated to taking all my meals standing at the stove. It’s so much easier there than having to try to push you away from my plate at the dining room table. Wait a minute…who’s calling the shots here????

I wish people could see the big, powerful girl you are. You make me laugh with those mad, pigeon-toed dashes through the apartment at 90mph, hind legs skidding out in all directions on the bare wood floor. You make me laugh every time you explode out of the bathtub leaving wet paw prints all the way from the bathroom down the hallway. You leap on high surfaces as if they were nothing, but you’ve learned exactly what is completely off-limits and you never go on those things. For sure, I thought when I first saw that, that I was kissing goodbye to some really lovely antique collectibles. That never happened. They’re out where you could get them and I know I don’t have to worry.

I love your gummy kisses and holding paws with you. I love your crazy markings: that white patch under your right eye, even if makes all your photos look like that eye is always closed. And now, I’m going to tell a couple of secrets about those crazy markings of yours that really don’t show up in your photographs but make you even more special. I’m going talk about that fawn-colored bulls-eye right in the middle of the tip of your tail, and I’m going to talk about that one white toe on your foot, and the crazy apricot-colored spot on one of your back feet. I’m still trying to get those to show up in your photographs.

You may not always be the nicest kitty—you are cantankerous. But you’re also a softy. I see you trying so hard to maintain that nonchalant façade of yours, but you always greet me at the door, so happy to see me. When I hold you, you refuse to look at me, and at the same time, you melt into my arms and purr. And then we cuddle up together on ‘your’ sofa. It’s all the more gratifying seeing that I’ve earned your love and your trust because I know that you give neither indiscriminately.

Happy Valentine’s Day, Sweetheart.

 

Plotting Revenge – Can Anyone Help?

February 11th 2011 2:48 pm
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Plotting Revenge – Can Anyone Help?

This isn’t funny, furs! She’s making a fool out of me. You know who.

I had some poo plops in my floofs yesterday. First I got a bath. Then I got towel dried…and horrors… I got hair dried! Then I got a kiss and out came that saccharine voice telling me what a good girl I am.

Later, I heard her on the phone with the vet. They were talking about food again, and IBD testing and immune deficiency treatments. Finally, Mom and the vet agreed on a temporary measure. It appears I’m going to be sharing that bowl of cherries with Marrakech (prednisolone) for the next few weeks.

So, I was just ambling along minding my own business when she cornered me. I’ve seen that move a million times before. You know, the between-the-knees maneuver. I should have suspected. I’m the only fur in the house that hasn’t been subjected to that treatment in quite a while. Next thing I know my head is being tilted upwards. I was so shocked that my jaw dropped open. Gack! Couldn’t she have saved some for her precious “Keshy”? Wow that was a mouthful! The worst part was that Mom had this really self-satisfied look on her face. It was like she’d just stolen candy from a baby or like she was the cat that just ate the canary.

You bet I fought her last night over the same thing. Heh heh. She won. :~(
How’s a girl supposed to see enough to hit her mark when there’s a hand over her eyes? I was thrashing at air. I didn’t even get to put one ribbon on her hand!

Okay… last night I already started plotting my revenge.

Plan A implementation: I’ve taken over Keshy’s corner of the bed. It’s the corner of the bed where she usually cuddles up to Mom’s face. Not that Mom would mind that so much; Kesh usually migrates under the covers or behind her knees anyway. I gave this one a new twist. Ready? I laid there staring right into Mom’s face at close range until she felt like she was being watched. She woke up! I waited for her to drift off again, and repeated plan A. It worked a second time.

But this could get old after a while. I mean, I do have to stay awake to drive her crazy like that. It’s too bad I can’t tilt her head back and drown her in cherry syrup!

This morning she waited until I was in dreamsville. She woke me up, tilted my head back and you can guess the rest. I never had a chance!

Plan B implementation: Trip her and injure her so she can’t make it to the kitchen for the medicine. I decided I would lay right under the step down from the dining room platform. Well, I thought that was a good idea until I thought about the consequences of getting stepped on. Then I also realized ‘if she can’t make it to the kitchen for the medicine, then she can’t make it to the kitchen for the food either’. Scratch Plan B.

Anyone have any thoughts about this? I’m open to lots and lots of suggestions.

Giggles.

 

Tagged By Samhain

February 7th 2011 10:48 pm
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I’ve been tagged by my new little friend Samhain . BTW, Samhain is awfully pretty, awfully nice, and awfully new. She could use some new furriends. Please do stop by her page and introduce yourself.

Here are the rules:
Name the 5 most annoying things your humans do, then tag 5 others to keep it going.

1. Mom breaks all my good balls, the ones with the metal bells in them. She steps on them and cracks them. All I’m left with is the bell. :~(

2. She keeps bugging me to eat the wet food. If it’s not tuna fish or kibble or chickie treats, no thanks. (P.S. It’s really quite simple—she just doesn’t get it. I don’t care if you put chickie treats in it; it’s still not tuna fish or kibble, or chickie treats. I’ll have my chickie treats without the frills, if you please.)

3. The can-opener tease. You know what I mean. We were imbued with supersonic hearing for a reason—tuna fish, salmon, sardines…. (My mouth is beginning to water just thinking about it!)

It never fails: I wake up from the most amazing sleep to the dreamy sound of the….CAN OPENER!!! Ooooooooh! I stampede down the hallway so she’s sure to hear me coming. I come to a screeching halt and I put the cutest look on my face. I wait with bated breath (still trying to look cute and needy). Oooh…she’s letting me smell?? … I might get some???? Tomatoes!!!!!!!!! Yuck! I’ve been had! What a waste of energy!


4. And do you know how inconsiderate she is?

- Where am I supposed to sleep when she’s watching TV in my sofa?

- Furthermore… (I love that word) … and furthermore… She could at least turn the piano keyboard power off! I don’t need a fanfare accompanying me —ta-daaaahhhh!!!!--every time I make the over-the-keyboard jump to the table.


5. She puts Marrakech in her lap with that ridiculous baby bottle twice a day when she’s supposed to be paying attention to me. Hee hee. I get even on that one. Bonk! Bonk! That’ll show the little floofless runt not to take up all my time. (Sometimes I sit on the aerosol can cap too. Then when Mom tries digging around under me to get it, I give Mom the old smacky paw.) Funny. I haven’t stopped them yet. No matter. I’ll just keep trying.

I’m tagging my friends:
FishStick
Pixie
Gentleman Jack
Tethys Fluffkins
Indiana

Bonk, Bonk…Headbonks….

Colette

 

Happy Lunar New Year (Year of the Rabbit).

February 5th 2011 12:48 am
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We just received this lovely e-mail from my other name-sake, Samantha, a lady who is truly wise beyond her years. We’re reprinting it here, in part and as written (with the parts obviously intended for personal friends omitted). Samantha has already posted this to the blog that she writes. May we all learn from her wisdom.

We wish all our friends a joyous and prosperous, New Year (Year of the Rabbit).

Colette Sidonie-Samantha

“Lunar New Year is the one I am excited to celebrate even if it's filled with rules, regulation, superstition and crazy elders. The celebration focuses on family/friends, life and the future outlook. It's a colorful 7 day long holiday fill of get together and food. In Chinese culture for example there is no such thing as resolution rather one is to set goals and look towards a better and more successful as well as prosper future in every area in our lives. We clean our homes thoroughly, buy new outfits and use brand new things as symbol to start on a clean slate in the New Year. As for terminologies, vocabulary used in the same sentence are not "I'll try' but 'I will'; it's not "completed" but " excelled". In the pass years I have slowly change my personality and characteristic, part of growing up and darn glad I am continuously revolving.

~I refrain from immediately blaming birth right, pass history, destiny, family and society over every little situation that cross our paths. We all are born relatively the same with a head, heart, body, 2 kidneys, hair and most average human body parts. What we are given to start off with depends on which lucky family you were born into, ethnicity, class status, environment, religion, and birth origin (all which writes our background). However what we make out of ourselves from the resources offered to us is our own doing. How we beat the odds and win over obstacles and make wise choices is up to us. We pave out own path as adults; hence, our life is our responsibility. Of course what we can’t control is other people's decisions, mother-nature or natural causes like illness.

~I have greater faith in myself, family members, friends and others, even in dealing with unforeseen circumstances.

~I am more forgiving and/or willing to not take things to heart. …

~I learn to listen better and speak slower in conversations. I find not only do others respect you more but you learn so much when you listen instead of draining others out with the sound of your own voice. After all we live on this planet together, so why the arrogant or hate?

~I am more willing to take up challenges on changes forced by others head on. I enjoyed working with trouble kids, I sort of lost faith in the system but instead of quitting, I took a different route on making a difference by focusing on children with autism from middle/low income family.

~I manage my will power to defy others, myself and the universe. Most certainly I have failed on many projects but I keep at it (yippee I will pester you 100X if I must). The 5 wonders of the world didn’t erupt overnight; it took time and determination to built. *This true occurrence: a daddy group was organized by a lonely stay at home dad on the 1st month, no one responded; 3 months, only 4 dads; 6 months, a buddy joined him and bought along a few friends; 2 years later this club is 305members all dads strong. Gotta keep at it if you want it to happen bad enough. God only help those who help themselves. We also have to help each other to succeed.

~I am limited at feeling sorry for myself or anyone else for that matter. If I wanted a pity party …. I also don’t tolerate attitudes but I am mellow towards it. *If anther person can’t stop yelling, lecturing or snapping at me, I actually look at them with an underlying pity on their karma & soul. Each of us is capable of controlling our temper.

~I find myself reaching a level of divine patience especially towards irritable and intolerable or ill mannered individuals. *I get the same result or even better if I don’t rush into things. It's better to take your time and do it right the first time then to have to go back and fix mistakes. Think before you speak or act. Alas, when I speak to a frazzle person calmly they also slowly relax.

~I am working on stay neutral like the Buddha. If I don't agree with someone's views, I either say nothing or ignore the subject. This is not to say I ignore grievances or complains cause I'd hate it if someone constantly act like my problems are unimportant.

~I am proud to be Facebook Free for over 6 months. I think that decision had bought me closer to people because now I am force to make plans and call them. I am content at winding down the number of people I label close friends. My circle of friends may be small but my network of acquaintances/colleagues/peers is large than life and I care about every one of you.

~I have gotten better at working at being below my mean. I learn how to be happy living without wants and bargain hunting for needs. Trick is to ignore temptation and expensive difficult people. And surprised even though I have a financial tighter budget this year to work with, I actually am more in touch with friends. I am most certainly grateful most of my peers are understanding of my hardship and even generous and forgiving of what I can’t offer. Thank You!

~I have grown cultural well rounded in all area from music, books, museums (art), and films.

….

….

~I have set my goals and ‘to do list’ and actually crossing things off even if it means making sacrifices here and there.

May you and you love ones have healthy as a turtle, good fortune, joyous, and safe Lunar New Year (Year of the Rabbit). “

 

A Rose for Valentine’s Day and a Beautiful Poem

February 1st 2011 11:05 pm
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OMC, Gentleman Jack gave me a rose for Valentine’s Day! I don’t know what to say!

We tried to see if the writings of my namesake, Colette, would help. Geeze she really was feisty. We didn’t readily find anything Colette wrote that would show how much I loved getting that rose. What we found, though, is this really beautiful poem by Lucie Delarue-Mardrus that Colette quoted in her short novel, “Claudine and Annie”. Thank you Gentleman Jack for the wonderful rose and for inspiring me to look for a way to thank you properly.

“For A Cat”
by Lucie Delarue-Mardrus (born in Honfleur, France 3 November 1874 - died, 26 April 1945 )

Majestic cat, mysterious and wise,
Through whose black velvet mask gleam jewelled eyes,
Do my ring-laden fingers not presume too much,
When they caress you, monarch in disguise?

Lithe, furry serpent, coiled up in repose,
Warmer than living feathers to my touch
Save for the coolness where your small bare nose
Buds though the black and white, a glistening rose.

Jungle-fierce still for all your ribbon bows
And feigned docility. Let some hapless toy
Catch your disdainful eye, at once peremptory paws
Pounce on the prey with grappling-irons of claws.

Tonight, here in the dusk, no wile of mine
Can lure your still remoteness, make you glance from where
You sit, a Buddha-cat of stone, gold eyes astare:
You are remembering you were once divine.”

 

Supper Will Be Delayed Due to Technical Difficulty

January 30th 2011 1:29 am
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The kitchen swallowed a small item again. That meant that supper wasn’t going to happen any time in the near future—drats!

For a tiny little box, the kitchen is rather good at that. Marrakech’s Tagament pill, the sterling silver backing to Mom’s earring, the nail tacking the calendar to the wall…all teleported to another dimension.

The show and the sound effects were rather amusing, though. Our kitchen seemed to have acquired a menagerie. “Squeeeal!” Pig? Mouse? “Oh, nooooo!”

“Acccck!“ Duck?

“Grrrr….” Oh dear, this does not sound good. Ferocious dog? Bear?

Good thing Misha wasn’t around, or it might have taken all night—he used to help Mom look for things by sticking his face in hers while she crawled around the floor, face to the ground, butt up in the air.

Ohhh, this was gonna’ be good. The little thingy stick that holds the rubber thingy that controls the flow of the water to our fountain and its spring just shot across the kitchen. She had the damp paper towels in hand, crawling all over the floor. Ever seen a kitchen floor get washed with a paper towels?

Man, do we leave that much kibble and that much floof all over the place? You should see what’s coming up! Still nothing? Wow! Pay dirt. You could fill up another bowl with the kibble she just dug out from under the stove using the chop stick. Eeech! Look at those wads of floof that were under the fridge!

Man! The floor between the stove and the wall was really black. Sweep, sweep, sweep. Still nothing? “Yaaay! The thingy stick! Now where’s the spring?” That’s my water, Mom! You’ve got to find it.

“Grrrr”…. Still nothing? I’m starving. I’m thirsty. Nyeh, nyeh.

You’re washing the kitchen a second time? Nyeh. Where’s my water!

“Halleluyah!” A choir of angels? Since when did that belong to a zoo?

“It doesn’t. I found it! Yaaaaay!”

Where was it? “On the dish rack tray.” Meooow!

“Acccck!” Now what? “Samsara’s terbutaline pill just flew out of the pill cutter!” =^..^=

 

Let’s Monkey Around…

January 26th 2011 7:34 pm
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OMC, I get Valentine’s pics and DDP all on the same day! I’m basking in the glory.

Am I not a hot, spicy Mama? Bring on the glam and the recognition….

Thanks diary Gal, thanks Mom, and thanks effuryone--especially, Pipo and Minko. Did you see the beautifurr picture they made of me honoring my DDP?

About those Valentine’s pics: since Halloween I’ve been surprising Mom with just how laid back I am about doing the photo shoots. Bring on the lace, the feathers, the glitter balls—I just love them. Unlike some furs I live with, as long as Mom wants to keep snapping pictures I’m a willing subject—just don’t use flash or infra-red and I’m yours.

Marrakech surprised Mom with just how cute (blech) she looked in her pictures. If making unhappy faces makes you cute then…

There aren’t too many pics of Samsara. The minute that monkey started getting saucy, she bit him and ended her photo op.

Saucy? Yeah. Messrs. Big Lips & Co. talk. Their tags say that they’re motion-activated, but in reality, changes in light set them off. They started talking up a storm during that shoot. They make monkey screeching sounds and sound like a woman’s worst nightmare (or daydream, take your pick) when she’s walking past a construction site.

Not for nothing, pink lips asked Samsara if she wanted to “touch his monkey” just before she bit him in the big toe.

Okay, picture this one. You’re alone. You’re in bed; it’s late at night, all the lights are out and it’s really quiet. You’re just about to go to sleep and all of a sudden: “Oooo Oooo Ahhh Aahhh Aahhh Eeeee Eeee Eeee Eeee, You’re A Monkey, Baby!…… Oooh, Cheeky Monkeeeee, Oooo Oooo Ahhh Aahhh Aahhh Eeeee Eeee Eeee Eeee!” comes screeching at you from the living room.

You should have seen the four of us sitting up straight with the biggest floofs you ever saw (Mom included). For a second, we thought we had a very noisy burgler! A car had driven past the window and caught those guys in its headlights. Ooooo, Ooooo Aaaah!

Headbonks…

 

It’s About Time

January 23rd 2011 12:43 pm
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It’s about time, as grandmaw would have said, that Mom finally cleaned those pretty chairs in the nook that we girls (are not supposed to) don’t sit on.

They were getting furry uncomfortable!

Headbonks…

 

My Turn to Make Mom Laugh

January 19th 2011 1:37 am
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Mom surprised me tonight by bringing the ladder into the kitchen just as I was walking out of the room. Samsara was standing where the ladder should have been on the dining platform. I leaped a few feet into the air. I couldn’t land on the platform because Samsara was right there, so I shot straight up over her and landed—oops—right in the middle of the living room. (Don’t tell anyone, I’m practicing my hurdles for the Summer Olympics. At this rate, my chances are getting awfully good!)

Headbonks…

 

Anonymous Hearts

January 16th 2011 11:13 am
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It slipped our human's mind (what doesn't?) that we forgot to thank the kind fur who thought that Marrakech and I weren't feeling well on Christmas day and gave us each a heart.

We still wonder...who... and we find it uncanny that those hearts came at a time when we were feeling okay but Mommy's heart was hurting over some purrsonal family issues.

Thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

 
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(My Angel) Colette


 

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