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Diary of a NOT FAT lover boy

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Just a note to let you know where we'll be and that we love- you.

November 1st 2010 8:44 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 19 people already have ]

Dear Diary,

We spent all evening trying to catch up with furriends on Catster tonight and we hope we have! We love you guys so much, each and every one of you. There is only one secret to being one of our very bestest furriends: be nice. That's it! :~) And so many of you are so very nice! ((((((hugs all the nice kitties))))))

We love you guys. We feel for you when you are having sibling troubles (especially sibling troubles!!! *Emily flies down and bonks Edgar on the head* *Edgar: Hey! I don't care if you ARE an angel! Stay out of my diary!) [Note from mommy : *sigh* please ignore the squabbling siblings!] or health troubles or your humans are having troubles. We smile and laugh with you when you are having good times and big adventures! Our mommy cries with your mommies when they have to say goodbye... you are just All so very special!

I'm going to fall hopelessly behind on all your lives though. :~( My mommy and daddy are abandoning me and Salem and Lucy while they run off for some stupid vacation that mommy thinks she needs. They are going to be gone from this Thursday through next Thursday. And while mommy is taking a computer with her she has told me that she will probably have little time to get on it and that since she won't be with us (waaaaaaah!) she probably won't be on Catster much.

So don't worry that we have fallen off the planet! We will still be here in Enid, Oklahoma. Some strange guy is going to sleep in our house every night and I don't think I will like that at all! We will see if he ever gets to catch sight of me... And the evil lady who comes around twice a month to run the sucking monster machine and who tries to eliminate all traces of us from the house is going to be coming in to supposedly feed us and clean our boxes. Mommy thought about actually boarding me!!! *shudders* Just because I have to take that one itty bitty pill every day! I'm so glad she changed her mind about that!

We all seem to be in okay health. Mommy is still worried about Salem (*hissss*) since his scare last weekend, but he has been eating and not throwing up. And the evil lady and the strange guy both have mommy's cell phone number and know who our vet is. So we hope everything will be okay.

We may get to check in on our furriends again tomorrow...maybe... but then we'll be going into some kind of scary black out of communications zone like what the astronauts used to go through when they were coming back into earth's atmosphere! So you'll just have to watch the fuzz on the old black and white t.v. screen and wait until they pick up our signal again...hopefully by Friday, the 12th!

Signing off purrs *k0ir65kl.,xhaoyhakkg7p97* Sorry, getting a little static there!


What's up with me? Not my kidney numbers! (and note from- mom)

October 30th 2010 8:40 am
[ Leave A Comment | 6 people already have ]

Dear Diary,

I had to go to the vet yesterday. I was NOT happy about this at all! I cried and screamed all the way there! And then, evil mommy left me there all day! *sniffle*

But she did come and bring me home so I guess I'm okay now. AND, as a bonus, late in the evening she took Salem away in the carrier! Yay! Maybe he's gone for good! Now, if I can only get rid of that other one...

The vet stole some of my blood. :~( He says my kidneys numbers are better and that there was no protein or blood or something else that mommy can't remember in my urine, which is all good! I have to keep taking that yucky pill every night, the benezapril. But I don't have to go back for another check on my kidney numbers until April! Whoo hoo!

My kidneys good ~ Salem gone... life is looking up!


P.S. from mom: Sorry my kids haven't been able to read their friends diaries in a couple of days! It's been crazy busy around here as we try to get ready to leave on a week's vacation. I hope to be able to let them catch up over the next three days. After that, they lose their typist for a week.


Goodbye to a precious friend, Francis A. Sinatracat

October 27th 2010 4:04 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 10 people already have ]

Dear Diary,

It is with a very heavy heart that I write that one of my dearest friends, Francis A. Sinatracat or just plain "Frankie" to us most of the time, has had to make his journey to the Bridge.

Frankie has been struggling with illness for some time now. He has fought the good fight and the time came for him to get to rest and cease the battle. I know his mommy's heart is breaking at having to let her precious boy go. So please stop by his page and send some purrs if you can.

We will always love you Frankie and never forget you. Many hugs and purrs to your mommy.

deeply sad purrs,


I am NOT an "Old Grump" and if you don't lemme outta here,- I'll bite you again!

October 24th 2010 1:21 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 15 people already have ]

Dear Diary,

Help! I'm being held prisoner! It seems mom (nope, not calling her "mommy," she doesn't deserve terms of affection) decided that Salem and Lucy had been cooped up in their room for too long. Personally, I did not see a problem with that. They need to stay in this room!

So she decided to let them have free roam of the house and to lock ME up in here with her all these past few hours while she's been letting me read my furriends' diaries. Now, don't get me wrong, I like to read my furriends' diaires! (Oh, and tell me mom, how is it that Lucy and Salem left comments on diaries when they aren't even IN here????). It's just I don't like being in this room that stinks of THEM!

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know, all you kitties who get along with siblings and newcomers keep telling me I should give them a chance. But I don't want to! Since I've been in this room I've hidden under the futon and hissed, yowled about how I wanted out, jumped on mom's lap and rubbed my head all over her hand and then bit it! And she keeps calling me an "old grump!"

Well just wait till I get out of here! If mom thinks she was mad about my pooping on the sofa yesterday, she ain't seen nothin' yet!

vowing to get even purrs,

P.S. from mommy: This is why I don't write much anymore on here or on Facebook about how these three are getting along. They aren't. And I know it's depressing to you all as well. I've pretty much resigned myself to the fact that they will have to live separated. And I'm doing the best I can to make Salem and Lucy's lives interesting and fulfilling. They have lots of toys, cat beds, a cat tree, an open window, a bird feeder outside their window, I bought them their own fountain since it didn't appear they'd ever get to roam freely in the house and use the other one. I moved them to my office where I spend lots of time so that they get more contact.

But apart from still having a screen door on the room and doing the very occasional room switch, like today, I'm making no further efforts to integrate. Salem and Edgar still fight at the screen door from time to time and Edgar, as he noted, is still pooping outside his litter box. I'm pretty sure he does that so that his poop smell will reach them better since his box is far from this room.

I will never send Salem and Lucy back to the S.P.C.A. They have a forever home here, unless, what I consider a perfect home for them were to present itself. I'm very sorry for them because they deserve a home where they wouldn't have to be locked up in one room most of the time. They are such sweet kitties.

So as far as the "integration" goes, from now on, the policy here is "don't ask and I won't tell" unless there is some happy news to report.


Congratulations Muffin!

October 21st 2010 7:43 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 5 people already have ]

Dear Diary,

Imagine my surprise when one of mommy furriends told mommy that my dear, dear furriend, Muffin! was Cat of the Day! :D

Muffin is the sisfur of my beloved angel girlfriend, Bessie! My mommy has met Muffin in person and she is a lovely, and petite tortie girl with beautiful manners!

Congratulations Muffin!!!

happy purrrs,

Sorry furriends, Muffin is a Calico, mommy was typing for me in a hurry while she was in a chat room on another site. Stupid mommy.


Just read my furriend's diary...

October 19th 2010 9:15 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 30 people already have ]

Dear Diary,

Mommy struggled to write fur me fur about two hours. But she couldn't get it right. Mommy always says too much or not enough. Just please read my furriend, Charlie Clarence's Diary and you will know sorta how we feel.

But we aren't as strong as my furriend, Charlie Clarence and have a hard time just enjoying our furriends without thinking about the kitties who have been mean to us. And mommy and I have been having a hard time for a long time with coming on Catster because of furriends we cherished turning on us when we didn't understand why.

So if we disappear from Catster someday please understand that it is not because we got bored with it or because we weren't "popular" enough. Mommy and I could not care less about "popular!" It's because the humans behind the kitties who can "hate" other kitties who have never tried to be anything but nice just made it too sad fur me and my furmily.

That's not fair to all you kitties who have neffur been anything but wonderful furriends. We know that. And we wish we could see the forest and ignore the trees. We keep trying.

tired purrs,


Poopin' in Da' Yard

October 12th 2010 4:57 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 13 people already have ]

Dear Diary,

The last couple of nights mommy was worried because there was no poopie in my litter box. But on Sunday she told daddy she swore she smelled poopie somewhere around the kitchen.

Well as you know, I've pooped in a couple inappropriate places in the house since Salem and Lucy arrived. I need to get my poopie smell out there so that they know I am king of this domicile! So mommy was worried that I had pooped somewhere in the house but she couldn't find it. She asked me last night as she cleaned my box: "where is your poopie? There's no poopies in here!"

This evening when she came home from work she opened the back door for me and looked at my box and said: "Still no poopies!"

This is the time of year when the pecans start falling from our big tree. So mommy changed clothes and went out to walk around the yard with her little basket. I came out with her to supervise. As she was making a pass in the yard I ran right in front of her path and sat down (so she thought). This wasn't unusual, I always help her gather pecans. Sometimes I will sit on one so she doesn't miss it. So when she came up to me and started petting me she said: "There's a big orange nut!" And right then she realized... I was in the middle of pooping!!!

Sheesh! Ever have somebody pet you while you are trying to poop? It's a little awkward! But I figured I'd better poop right in front of her since she kept asking where my poopies were. MOL!

See, the way I see it, since Salem and Lucy's window now opens onto the backyard, I can poop out there so that they get the smell and know I'm the boss! I can also flaunt my freedom to stroll around the yard at my leisure!

Mommy figures that since they keep lots of windows open, she was just smelling a fresh, uncovered poopie from the back yard on Sunday.

King of the yard purrs,

Note from mommy: Well this should make gathering pecans a little more "interesting" this year...


Growling Contest

October 11th 2010 5:54 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 6 people already have ]

Dear Diary,

Daddy stayed home today 'cause I guess farmers can't work sometimes after it has rained. *shrugs* He told mommy that right before she came home for lunch, Salem and I had a growling contest at the screen door of their room. I think that makes daddy a tattle tale!

Any way, he said we both tried to see who could make the most growly, howly, yowly noises (and he imitated for mommy, but daddy sounded more like a dying moose...). BUT he said there was no hissing and no banging noises (like you would hear if we were throwing ourselves at the door trying to fight).

Oh, and he also said I WON the growling contest and that Salem started it!

growly, howly, yowly,

Note from mommy: "daddy" did not say anything about who "won" and he said: "Edgar must have started it."


Mysterious Me!

October 3rd 2010 5:09 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 9 people already have ]

Dear Diary,

Mommy and daddy have decided that they have no clue what goes on in my furry little head. Well, duh!

Mystery No. 1: My eyes have purrty much all cleared up except for my right eye still being just the tiniest bit blinky, but not pink and not weepy. So... was it:

A. The medicines finally started working after 10 days?

B. The Feliway diffusers were the cause?

C. I really am allergic to Salem and Lucy and when mommy moved them into a room that has an exhaust fan in the window and that had, until yesterday, a solid door, my eyes cleared up?

Mommy thinks the answer to Mystery No. 1 is NOT C because of Mystery No. 2.

Mystery No. 2:

When Salem and Lucy were moved out of their room, guess where I was napping right away? On the bed in their old room! AND, here's the suspicious, mysterious part, when mommy found me there (she'd been wondering where I was)and snuggled me some, I got up and left and went into mommy and daddy's room to nap but then, when mommy went away, I went right back into sleeping on the bed in Salem and Lucy's old room. I almost acted like I was embarrassed being caught in there napping on their bed. Sooo... was I:

A. Missing Salem and Lucy (they were behind the solid door when I behaved this way and mommy thought I really acted like I thought they were gone); or

B. Reasserting my rule over the room they had usurped?

Mommy thinks it was B because since the screen door has gone up on their new room, Salem and I have had a couple of door fights. But... we all know what kind of trouble my mommy gets into when she tries to think! MOL!

mysterious purrs,


Hard to say... 'bout my eyes.

September 30th 2010 4:43 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 7 people already have ]

Dear Diary,

Well, mommy thought that my eyes were clearing up after only one day of the Feliway diffusers being unplugged. And they DO look less pink and irritated around the rims. But my right eye is still weepy and blinky. Maybe the stuff hasn't cleared from the air yet? Maybe the drugs started working? Maybe I have something in my eye? Or maybe it's that herpes thing. *shrugs*

Something strange is going on around here tonight... I haven't yet figured out what it is... but I'm pretty sure it bodes ill...

worried, blinky purrs,

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