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Diary of a NOT FAT lover boy

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Thank you Genny- for tagging me.

January 28th 2011 10:02 pm
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Dear Diary,

My Darling furriend, Genny tagged me in the "five most annoying things your humans do tag." Thank you Genny for thinking of me! I hope that you and Elise and your mom are well.

Here are my five things:

1. Mom stays up too late playing on the computer and doesn't eat. She knows that I expect a bite or two of whatever she has for dinner and she should NOT keep me waiting so long!

2. Mom picks me up like a baby (holding me in her arms with my tummy up) and kisses all over my face and rubs my tummy. This is not a comfortable position for me at my age and I am entirely too grown up at 15 to be treated like a baby!

3. Dad calls me "fat@ss" all the time. Like he has room to talk!

4. Mom locks me up with her in the office every other night and lets those beasts, Salem and Lucy, have the run of the house. This really makes me mad!

5. Mom is stupid and doesn't know what I am saying when I am talking to her. I have tried and tried and you would think she would pick up on just a few meows by now! But nooooooo! I understand almost everything she says! But, I guess I shouldn't get mad at her for being stupid, that's not really her fault. She is a human, after all.

Do I have to stop at five? Because there are a lot of other things my humans do that are annoying... LOL!

Well, I was supposed to tag five furriends but mom has never let me tag anyone. So if you read this and you want to play, consider yourself tagged!

grumpy olde furt purrs,


My best friend, Arnold P., is gone.

January 26th 2011 6:04 pm
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Dear Diary,

Such a very sad night. My best buddie, Arnold P. , had to make his journey today. I loved my friend very much. He was so funny and witty and nice. He was supportive and kind. He was the best pal a guy could have!

I'm gonna miss him a lot.

very sad purrs,


Thanks and apologies! (And other news)

January 12th 2011 7:17 pm
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Dear Diary,

I want to thank all the wonderful furriends who sent birthday wishes to me and my angel sisfur, Emily Felicity. I sent mom on a mission to send our purrrsonal thanks to everycat tonight but she has pooped out already and she is not even through my thank yous! I need a mom who does better at keeping up with this stuff. :~(

So my apologies are fur me and Em being so late in thanking so many of you. I promise that I will keep cracking the whip to make mom get it done over the next few days even if I have to bite some ankles!

In other news, mom tried to kill me last night by letting Salem and Lucy out in the house when I was out loose too! I quickly retreated to the top of the highest kitchen cabinet for safety. After a few minutes, I thought maybe they were gone, so I made my way down, mewwing my complaints, only to see, there they were! Napping on the two cat beds on the dining room table! *gasp*

So I went right back up. Mom then abandoned me to my fate and went off to play on the computer, leaving daddy to make sure Salem didn't try to get up there with me to pick a fight (he has tried before and mommy has a terror of me falling off the top of that cabinet because Salem came after me).

After a couple of hours the "togetherness" ended when mommy heard a fight. I was under the coffee table in the living room and Salem was trying to get me! Daddy said: "he slipped past me!" Some bodyguard daddy is! humph!

So Salem and Lucy (who had been minding her own business the whole time) were both promptly locked back up in the office with mom. I'm not spoiled though, am I?

I'm old! I shouldn't have to try to "duke it out" with some interloper for my home!

Anyways... I'm really sorry I can't get my lazy mom to write out all the thank yous for me and Em tonight. But I promise to keep cracking the whip!

purrrs & love,


My 15th Birthday ~ Emily and I thank you all for the- birthday wishes

January 8th 2011 10:10 pm
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Dear Diary,

Today was my 15th birthday. It started out well. After mom finally woke up, she and I got off the bed and started the morning routine. I sleep with mom pretty much every night. Sometimes I'm "in a mood" and don't come to bed with her, but that's pretty rare. And I never try to wake her up, I just stay on the bed until she wakes up.

Then we go together to the bathroom. Then, and this part I don't care for that much, mom stops in Salem and Lucy's room to pull up the shade by the cat tree to let in the sun and pull up the other shade and turn on the exhaust fan and pick up their plates and tell them both good morning.

Then mom and I go to the kitchen where she washes our plates and gets our breakfast treat of Fancy Feast. She also opens the back door for me to check out the back yard and puts some ice cubes in my fountain. But now that I get morning Fancy Feast (I guess I have Salem and Lucy to thank for that) and now that I don't have Emily to sit next to me to slurp ice water, I'm not as interested in the morning ice cubes. But mom does it any way because that is what she has always done.

I help her wash and fix our plates by doing lots of meowing and rubbing on her ankles. Mom answers me with silly things like: "Oh really? You're starving?? You having eaten in days? You poor baby! Your slave is moving as fast as she can!" etc. etc.

This morning, because it was my birthday, I got, instead of a third of a can of Fancy Feast, a third of a bigger can of Bumble Bee Albacore White tuna in water!!! Oh my that stuff was good!!! Mom couldn't bring herself to video my birthday tuna though because she kept thinking of last year when she videoed me and Emily getting our birthday tuna together while she sang us "Happy Birthday."

Then, later in the day, I got some turkey lunch meat! No ham though... I may have to register a complaint about that.

Mom then took pictures of me (I was lying on the kitchen table on top of some catalog that mom's sister got mom a gift certificate to for Christmas and mom can't find anything in. I don't wonder why ~ there is nothing for cats in there at all!) and posted them all on Facebook. Mom posted the best one here as my new main picture. The towel on the table is the one she viciously wrapped me up in last night to put eye drops in my eye! I actually have my tail wrapped around the bottle of eye drops but I'm not sure it shows in the picture.

Mom was gone a lot today. I didn't like that. Since it was my birthday I think she should have stayed home all day with me. But she said that when she was home I seemed particularly lively today, like I knew about all the sweet kitties on Catster and sweet kitty mommies on Facebook who were thinking of me and wishing me happy birthday today. :~)

Well of course I knew! We cats can sense when people are thinking of us even if they are a continent away! And I thank you all who wished me a happy birthday today so very much! I read each message in each rosie or gift and in every pmail and it the posts in a couple of groups (mom only lets me see Olde Furts and Brusselball any more these days...not happy about that...).

And I thank you all who remembered my sister today. *headbonks* If mom hadn't been so busy with stuff today she would have found Emily's first birthday at the Bridge much harder. Typical of my mom though, she tried not to think about it and being busy helped. But mom and I both miss my sister very very much.

I didn't get any special treats tonight. Just my usual one-third can of Fancy Feast that in the evenings mom puts that pill in that she is trying to poison me with. But I have that pretty much figured out and so I don't eat the parts where the crushed up pill is...unless it just happens to be very nummy food... *blushes*

And now my birthday is almost over. Mom and I will go to bed together as we usually do. And she, silly woman, will stick me under the covers (okay, I DO walk up there to let her do it and am disappointed if it doesn't happen) to "spoon" with me. But I only let her have a few kisses and rubs and then I get out from under the covers and I will sleep on top of them by her legs or feet for the rest of the night.

Thank you again my dear furriends for remembering me and Emily today. I hope you are all well and warm and safe and loved.



Old Age is not for the faint of heart

December 31st 2010 10:45 pm
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Dear Diary,

So now I've started to tremble. Emily was doing some trembling six months or so before her journey. Mom took her to the vet. But they didn't find any problems. Now I'm doing it. My head jerks and trembles a little sometimes. But I just went to the vet on December 21st for my vaccines and he said I looked fine. *sigh* getting old is not fun.

I know I've not been around for you guys. Friends have probably stopped reading my diary. But I can't blame them since I haven't read any of theirs in a long, long time. But mom hasn't deleted our accounts yet so I hold out hope that someday she'll go back to letting me participate on Catster.

It's been a rough year for this old dude. My sisfur Emily went to the Bridge. And so I had to go get poked and prodded (that doesn't even make any sense!) and the vet decided that I needed to start taking a pill for my kidneys. Then Salem and Lucy moved in. I've had weepy eyes since they got here. Went to the vet for that too but the stuff he gave me didn't make the weepy eyes go away. Then all my old living room furniture went away. I like my new chair well enough... but it's kinda small for me and mom to sit in together and I miss lying by her side in my old, big, chair. Now all the new stuff is pushed in the middle of the room and covered up with tarps and stuff and I hate that! I've avoided the living room like the plague these last couple of days.

I don't like all these changes. I like things to stay the same. Seems like nothing stays the same anymore.

Mom had high hopes for several more good years with me. But all these changes are taking their toll and I'm feeling my years. Kitty life spans in our family have been:
Gabby 10.6 years; Lucinda 18.5 years; and Emily 14.5. I wonder how much time I have left?

I hope 2011 is a good year for me and for all of my friends and their humans. I hope it is a better year for everyone.

tired purrs,


I have a new chair

December 14th 2010 7:54 pm
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Dear Diary,

Tonight, right when I was supposed to get my canned Fancy Feast, strange men came in the house. I immediately fled to the top of the kitchen cabinets.

The strange men took away our living room furniture and brought in new furniture! I have selected my chair. I have been sleeping in it all evening (well after I got my Fancy Feast, that is).

purring in MY chair,


Thankful??? What am I supposed to be "thankful" fur???

November 22nd 2010 8:06 pm
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Dear Diary,

My so-called "siblings," Lucy and Salem have written diaries about how "thankful" they are to be here. Mommy said I have to write a diary too.

Well I'm not thankful fur a darned thing! My sisfur left me! My mommy brought intruders into my house! That Salem gets his smell all over mommy and is trying to claim MY mommy as his! Mommy took me to the vet TWICE since sissy went away and has been trying to poison me with some tiny pill in my food (I can detect it even when she or daddy crushes it into my canned food and I am carefully avoided the contaminated parts of the food!).

I've been attacked by that beast, Salem! I get in trouble when I try to deposit a poopie where Salem and Lucy can smell it so they know who is boss! I've had to spend one night locked up in the office while the intruders had the run of the house!

Nope, nothing to be thankful fur here my furriends. I hope you don't get treated so horribly when you are in YOUR golden years!

not purring,

Note from mommy: I think that's pretty much how my boy feels... on the other hand... he does seem to be "interested" in Salem and Lucy and he has not just been pining away for his sister. I know I adopted Salem and Lucy too soon and didn't give any of us enough time. But that is a done deal. I continue to work towards integration. Although I may never be able to let Salem and Lucy roam free at night when I am in bed as long as Edgar lives because Salem has demonstrated he wants to sleep with me and sleeping with me is Edgar's "special time." I will not break my boy's heart.


My status...

November 20th 2010 8:44 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 12 people already have ]

Dear furriends,

I'm sorry, I know I have not been here for you. There has been a lot going on both in my life and in my mommy's life. Somehow Catster and all my precious furriends here seem to get left behind. :~(

We are okay. We even actually had a good few minutes last night with Salem and Lucy out in the house with me and no fights happening.

I hope you all are well and happy and getting all the tuna (or other favorite treats) you want!

love and purrrs,


Well poop!

November 14th 2010 8:36 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 13 people already have ]

Dear Diary,

Pretty awful evening for me. :~( Mommy locked me up in Salem and Lucy's room for the longest time! And some of the time she wasn't in here with me. And you won't believe this... but during that time I was in here alone? She fixed dinner fur herself and daddy and they ATE dinner while I was locked up and those two were free to beg!!!

Oh sure, she brought me some bites of pork chop when she finally came back to visit me. But I still had to stay locked up for hours! I was locked in here for four hours!!! And sure she tried to let me catch up on all my furriends' diaries, but then she pooped out because she said it was getting too late and she had to write diaries fur us and do some other stuff before she got offline.

Not a great day. I'm still glad they are home though. And I did eat the pork chop nibbles...

begrudging purrs,

Note from mommy: Things are getting worse, not better, between Salem and Edgar. I can't believe I actually used to feed these two canned food in the same room without them trying to murder each other. So I've got to try to change things somehow. What I'm trying is more time out for Salem and Lucy and more time in the office for Edgar (most of it with me). I know the kids had a great time outside their lock-up tonight.


Well at least ONE nightmare is over!

November 13th 2010 8:33 am
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Dear Diary,

The last week or so has been pure hell. Mommy and daddy abandoned me, those two cats I hate were still here, some strange guy was in the house every night, and the scary lady who runs the vacuum was my only daily source of canned Fancy Feast. I thought the hell would never end!

But thank cat, mommy and daddy returned Thursday night! When they came in I cried and cried from under the dining room table. I told mommy that I had been abused and abandoned and so scared! I got lots and lots of snuggles from mommy though and she made a ham sandwich and gave me some bites, so I started feeling a bit better.

For some strange reason mommy seemed to think that maybe during the week long torture she had subjected me to that I might have "bonded" with those evil cats in the office! Humans have the strangest ideas! No, I have not warmed up to them one bit! And now that mommy was home I thought it was important that I reassert myself as top cat around here, so I pooped on the kitchen floor so those two could get a good whiff of it! (Note from mommy: he never pooped outside the box while we were gone! *sad face*)

I can't believe mommy would run off and abandon me for such a long time after all that I have been through these last few months! :~( But I'm glad she and daddy are home. I guess I love them, warts and all.

Now, if only they'd get rid of Salem and Lucy...

somewhat mollified purrs,

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