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Diary of a NOT FAT lover boy

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Report on us and a video.

December 27th 2011 6:14 pm
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Dear Diary,

Mom said I should write to let effuryone know how we are all doing. I miss Catster and wish mommy would let me play on it more. :~(

I'm doing okay. Overdue for my regular check-up and shots. Mom will try to remember to call to get me in tomorrow. Got a birthday coming up soon, 16! I'll be able to drive!

Dad thinks I don't see very well anymore. I'm cranky a lot. And I've gotten a little picky about my canned Fancy Feast. Every once and a while they put down a flavor that I just won't eat. I still sleep with mom effury night. Except for just a couple nights last week when she locked me out! (Note from mom: I just got back from thyroid surgery, he sometimes lies down on or walks on my neck at night).

Salem and Lucy still get locked up at night but they are out in MY house most of the day! We are getting along a whole lot better these days. But we still get in fights. And I still hate them. Salem stalks me! And he jumps me when I'm in the litter box! Rude dude.

They both seem healthy. Lucy gets a poopy bottom all the time... I think she sits down in the box when she poops! But she is such a piggy for canned food that mommy and daddy can clean her bottom with paper towels when she is eating and she never stops eating! MOL! Daddy says you could shave her butt while she was eating and she wouldn't care!

I posted a video of me sort of playing with Salem. That's pretty much all the news. I hope all my furriends are well.

purrs & love,


What's up with us

September 14th 2011 6:12 pm
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Dear Diary,

I'm so sorry friends, I should have let you all know on here (mommy posted on FB), I did NOT have to be shaved so I didn't have to be sedated. The vet tech was able to comb/brush all my bad spots out.

And I gained a half pound and my kidneys are "maintaining" on the 1/2 Benazepril daily. :~) So that's not bad news for an older fellow, like me. And I sure do feel good after getting those mats taken care of! I've been "full of beans" as we say down here in Oklahoma!

In family news, the difference around here is pretty incredible. It has been so gradual that mommy has commented on it much. But she noticed this morning that Salem was curled in a cat bed on the dining room table, while 6 feet away maybe was Lucy in mommy's chair at the kitchen table and then I walked up to graze on some kibble just 3.5 feet maybe, away from Lucy's chair. We are *almost* like one happy family.

Salem and Lucy still spend the night locked up in the office. And will until I go to the Bridge. My getting to snuggle with mommy at night, undisturbed by younger adopted siblings, is holy and will not be altered. And, if mommy and daddy are gone, they get locked up in the office with the screen door closed. But we may be getting close to the point where they are only locked up at night. Not sure yet.

Mommy still insists on closing off her bedroom door when they are out. I don't like this because I like to sleep on the bed. But mommy thinks I would like this if I understood that she did it so that no one else sleeps on the bed and there is no scent of Salem or Lucy in that room. It is MY room. Also, mom doesn't want me to poop on her bed again to make it clear that it is MY room! LOL!

So that's all the news that is fit to print.

purrs & headbonks,


One year, six weeks (or so) later... and stuff that I'm not- supposed to know...

September 2nd 2011 8:11 pm
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Dear Diary,

Mom was all happy tonight that Lucy, Salem and I all ate our FF canned treat dinner within a few feet of each other. Only the water fountain separated me from Lucy. And when I was done with my plate, I glanced over the fountain at her plate to see if maybe the dumb bunny had left any.

And this morning I went up to my water fountain, with just a little coaxing and drank my morning water with ice cubes and even played a bit with my ice cubes, even though Salem, The Evil, was right there, just two feet away.

Mommy seems to be encouraged by this. I guess that means it is time for me to poop somewhere inappropriate so she will just not be getting any crazy, "we all get along" ideas!


P.S. Oh, and the thing I'm not supposed to know? Well this coming Thursday mom is taking me in to the vet for a shave because I have some mats that she just can't comb out (I won't let her). She is worried and feeling very bad about me getting mats and about me going under anesthesia to get them out.


I Played with My Brother, Salem ... sorta...

July 27th 2011 6:15 pm
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Dear Diary,

Just so's nocat gets confused or anything, I want to start this by saying I still hate them! AND I'm still pooping outside my box in different places from time to time, as needed, to let THEM know which areas of the house are MINE! Although I haven't done that in about a week.

But, tonight, I sorta played with my brother, Salem. Mom lets them out every morning and, if daddy has locked them up again in the daytime (which he does sometimes when they are napping in their room anyway) she lets them out again in the evening. We all get our Fancy Feast together in the kitchen in the morning and evening.

Tonight the waitress, um I mean mommy, was being kind of slow so we all started griping a bit about how we wanted our food. This made mommy laugh. We three got closer and closer while demanding our supper. Since we got so close, mommy decided to set our plates down a little closer together. And we ate just fine, although I kept one eye on the enemy during supper! A smart cat is always alert!

After supper, mommy got out the Cat Dancer toy that Arnold P. sent me and Emily so long ago. And she played with us all; taking turns to swing it around to each of us. As we played, Salem and I got closer and closer. We were about 18 inches apart and both still batting and playing. I kind of enjoyed it...

In fact, when mommy got tired and quit she threw three cat toys down on the floor and started to walk out of the room. Salem started to follow her, like he always does, and I started to follow him!! Then I sniffed and rubbed on my YEOWWW shark mommy had thrown on the floor. And I was all the way in a different part of the kitchen that I never go in when they are out! Mommy turned back to try to get me to play with the shark. But then daddy said she was being "pushy" so she quit.

I still hate them. This moment of weakness should not be mistaken by anycat as "progress." Hummph! But... I did kinda have fun...

not budging and inch from my totally justifiable position purrs,


Poop on the bed

June 22nd 2011 6:32 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 21 people already have ]

Dear Diary,

Desperate times call for desperate measures! Two nights ago I pooped right in the middle of mommy and daddy's bed, again... Well I'm jealous! I don't like those other cats! I want them to go away! Salem scares me. I think he wants to kill me.

And every other day mommy or daddy locks me up in their room and lets them run all over my house and my back yard!! And even on the other days, when their locked up, mommy or daddy let them out in my back yard for a while and lock me out of my yard.

I don't think mom loves me any more. Not like before anyway. She tries to tell me she loves me. She tells me that if I'd just let them be out in the house in the daytime with me that she would lock them up at night so I could have my night time snuggle time with mom. But I don't trust her any more. I mean, I've made it perfectly clear that I don't want them here, but she's not taking them away.

I'm miserable and it's all her fault! So I pooped on the bed. I wanted to make it clear that mom and dad's bed was MINE! Then mom gets all freaked out and tears everything off the bed, totally destroying my effort to make a point.

So I guess I'll just eat worms and die.

no purrs,


Horrors! I had to go to the vet!!

April 28th 2011 6:09 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 9 people already have ]

Dear Diary,

Today was like something out of a Stephan King novel. I knew something was up when mom got up in the morning. I could just smell it! Sure enough, once she got all washed and dressed and stuff I heard her get the carrier out!

Well I was too smart for that. I retreated to under the center of mom and dad's king-sized bed where they can NOT reach me! She crouched down and pleaded and made kissy noises but I said: "I don't think so! No! Uh uh! Not comin' out! Go away!" And she did!

I thought I'd won. But I, after all these years, underestimated how devious and evil mom can be. :~( She returned and she returned with my favorite freeze-dried chicken treats. She proceeded to put a pinch (the bag is down to crumbs the woman hasn't bought any for me in so long!) on the floor at the edge of the bed.

I crept over, mewing: "Are you sure you aren't planning anything terrible? Is it safe for me to eat these yummy, yummy treats?" And she coo'ed reassuring words. But then, my friends, what do you think happened? She snatched me up! I didn't even get to eat the treats! She crammed me in the carrier, put me in the car and drove off, laughing wickedly!! (Note from mom: I was not laughing wickedly. He's making that up.).

And then she left me at the vets office for the whole ENTIRE day where they poked me, shaved a spot on my neck, stole my blood, prodded me and pretty much tortured me for the whole day.

Finally, when I was about at the end of my rope, mom came and picked me up and took me home. I was too weak and exhausted to struggle or cry much. She forced a pill down my gullet (as has become the nightly routine) and then gave me some canned Fancy Feast. I have been resting since and licking my wounds, well most of my wounds, I can't reach that spot on my neck that they shaved where they tried to cut my throat.

Oh, and mom says the vet said I'm in good shape and that my kidneys are still being stupid. (Translation from mom: His reduced kidney function is still being retarded by the Benazepril). My numbers are: BUN 27, Creatinine 2.00. Mom says these are not great but they are not bad. My weight is down to 11.1, but mom says she knew that from weighing me herself. Everything else looks good for a 15+ kitty.

sorely abused purrs,


Starting to show my age.

April 12th 2011 6:21 pm
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Dear Diary,

Well, I'm getting pretty skinny. Mom is afraid to weigh me as the last time she did I was only 10.8 when I used to weigh over 14! I act like I feel okay though, except for not being happy with the interlopers.

I have a vet appointment on the 28th. I will have a CBC to see how the benazepril is doing on making my kidneys stupid. (Note from mom: um... he means retarding kidney failure).

I still sleep with mom every night. The other night I ate a bite of lemon cake! It surprised mom. Hee hee! Gotta keep 'em on their toes.

Mom worries that she didn't let me live out my golden years without stress. She thinks the stress of Salem and Lucy in the house might be shortening my life. I dunno if it is or not. I know I don't like them around. On the other paw, they keep me from being bored. MOL!

I think the doc is going to say I'm in good shape though! I hope so. Mom and I'd like a few more years together.



It is what it is, I guess...

March 26th 2011 6:01 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 5 people already have ]

Dear Diary,

Mom still refuses to get rid of the interlopers. Every other day I get locked up in THEIR room and I hate that! I've figured out when mom and dad are planning to lock me up and once I ran away from dad and hid under the bed howling. But he waited and sneaked up on me later when I was napping. :~( I don't think a mancat of my years should have to put up with this stuff.

As for me, well I've lost quite a bit of weight from what I weighed in my prime. But other than that I seem to feel okay. Mom got me playing last night with a shoestring. :~)

I still sleep with mom every night. And daddy told mommy yesterday that he watched me in the night when mommy was asleep and didn't know how she could sleep through it. Daddy said I crawl all over mom, walk over her up to her face, sniff around, walk back down, find a comfy spot and nest up next to her. He's watched two nights in a row and reported I did the same thing. Mom says: "I wish he'd be that snuggly when I'm awake!" LOL! I gotta keep her wanting more you know.

I hope all of you, my furriends, are okay.

love and purrs,


I had an oopsie.

February 13th 2011 5:27 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 10 people already have ]

Dear Diary,

On top of the counter is the microwave. On top of the microwave is a little wooden crate. In the little wooden crate is a small bowl that is actually made out of cloth and something inside the cloth that makes it stiff. The bowl was made by one of mommy's SOMC CCL friends. In the bowl sits an orange and an apple.

This whole arrangement is in the path of my route to the highest cabinet in the kitchen. Mommy was gone all day yesterday and daddy was gone part of the day. When daddy came home he found the orange and the apple across the room on the floor by the stove, the little bowl in the middle of the kitchen floor and the wooden crate on the floor by the counter where the microwave sits. At first daddy got skeered and thought Salem had torn his way through the screen door and we had been fighting all through the house. But no, Salem and Lucy were safely in their room and the screen door had not been breached. And I seemed to be fine.

When mommy finally got home daddy told her about it..."The strangest thing happened..." Mommy said: "Edgar must have slipped on his way up or his way down and grabbed the crate and dragged the whole thing off on top of himself."

And it seems mommy was right. Because today they let Salem and Lucy out while I was out and I started to head for my highest cabinet. But when I got to the microwave I just stopped and hesitated. I was skeered I couldn't make the jump and all that stuff would come tumbling down on me again! Mommy rescued me though and put me out of Salem's way for a while.

Mommy updated my profile on here a couple of days ago. Seems my profile still said I weighed 14 pounds. But that was way out of date. I am down to 10.8 now. But I still eat my canned food and I still snuggle with mommy every night. Mommy hopes that I will be here a while yet. I hope so too.



My update

February 3rd 2011 6:30 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 8 people already have ]

Dear Diary,

I hate them. Salem and Lucy, that is. I still hate them and I am really ticked at mom (I won't call her mommy any more) because she won't get rid of them. And, Salem scares me!

Last night, mom and dad had the nerve to try to bring THEM back into the room while I was still here! (Note from mom: we opened the door and thought Edgar would run out). I hissed and spit and growled and ran under the coffee table! Then when dad tried to nudge me with his foot I tried to attack it and ran and hid in the cat condo and growled and hissed!

Then mom turned out the light and I had to stay in here another hour. I hate being in their room! It stinks!

But I do still sleep every night with mom. And except for having dropped a few more ounces at every vet visit, I seem to be healthy for a fifteen year old boy. Sometimes, when Salem howls in the night, I get up off the bed and go and his and growl at him at his door and then come back to bed. Mommy says I'm being a brat but it's all her fault because she made me a brat. I don't think I'm a brat! This is my house! Oh, and Salem made up that whole story about the poop thing! He was the one who pooped! Not me! (Note from mom: No, it was Edgar).

king of MY house purrs,

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