Won-Ton Reflects

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I Think Up A Way To Improve My New Ice Cream Flavor

October 17th 2009 11:50 pm
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I just thought of an awesome way to improve on my mouse ice cream idea that I thought up yesterday -- mouse ice cream with liver sauce. Ooh, I'm drooling at the very thought of it! I bet I could make a jillion dollars if I could sell mouse ice cream and liver sauce! It would be just like an ice cream sundae with hot fudge sauce is for humans. Cats would go nuts for mouse ice cream with liver sauce the same way people go nuts for ice cream sundaes with hot fudge sauce, I'm sure of it!

I really must ask mom and dad to get on the ball and make some. Mouse ice cream with liver sauce: this is the best idea anyone has ever had in the history of the whole world!

And remember, you heard it here first!

 

I Think Up A New Ice Cream Flavor

October 16th 2009 10:27 pm
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You know what would be nice? Mouse ice cream. I just thought of that the other day. I was just sitting around between naps, thinking about stuff -- you know, how you just sit and think about stuff sometimes, between naps? (I've been doing a lot of that lately, sitting and thinking about stuff. There hasn't been a whole lot going on -- Evil Cat, Mangy Cat and Nasty Cat have been staying away from my house for the most part, so it's been quiet around here, and I've had a lot of time to sit and think about stuff.)

Anyway, I was just sitting around between naps the other day, thinking about how good ice cream is. And then I thought about if it was possible to make ice cream even better than it already is. And I thought maybe it could! So I thought about how it could be better. What would make ice cream even better than it already is?

First I thought about kibble ice cream. But then I thought, no, that would be strange. But ice cream with kibble on it, like sprinkles, might be pretty good. Then I thought about goldfinch ice cream. But then I thought that all those feathers would kind of ruin it, so that wouldn't be too good. So nix on the goldfinch ice cream.

And then I thought of mouse ice cream. Of course! How wonderful is that? It's perfect! All that juicy mousiness combined with the wonderful ice-creaminess would make it be the best! It would be absolutely heavenly!

Mouse ice cream. I wonder why no one ever thought of that before? I must ask my mom and dad to go make me some.

 

I Play With A Snake

August 18th 2009 11:08 pm
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Lately I have been playing with a new toy. It is a snake I found on the kitchen floor. My mom and dad came back from the farmer's market and were washing stuff and putting it away. I saw something fall onto the floor. It looked just like a tiny green snake. I attacked it, and it went skittering across the floor, just like a little snake trying to escape. I chased it and batted it around for a while until it flew under the stove.

My mom fished it out for me, and I spent the rest of the evening attacking it off and on. It looks just like a little snake, but it doesn't taste like snake. It doesn't smell like snake either, it smells like green beans. I have never bit into a snake that tasted like green beans. This must be a new kind of snake.

I have to go get mom now to fish it out from behind the closet door. My paw can't quite reach.

 

I Am Fed Strange Food Because the Fridge Broke

August 6th 2009 3:19 pm
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The other morning my dad tried to feed me my usual food, but it smelled off, so I didn't eat any. After a while I got really hungry and had to pester my mom during breakfast. She got me more food, but it smelled just as off, so I didn't eat that either.

In the process of getting me more food from the fridge, she said something to my dad about the food not being cold. She opened up the freezer and said, "The food's not frozen anymore!" I guess this was a bad thing, because all kinds of commotion ensued after that.

My dad went out, and my mom sniffed my food. "Ugh," she said, and dumped it down the drain. She opened a can of cat food, which I haven't had in a long time. I had forgotten cat food comes in cans, because my mom and dad make fresh food for me in the kitchen. The food from the can didn't smell off but it smelled strange. It didn't smell bad; in fact, it smelled pretty good, but it was strange, very unlike my usual home-made food. I was so hungry I gulped down most of it anyway.

My dad came back with several bags of ice, and he and my mom moved some things out of the refrigerator and freezer and into a cooler, along with the bags of ice. There were long, involved discussions in the kitchen regarding what to do about the food until a new fridge could be delivered.

The strange food sat heavily in my stomach, so I slunk off to find a place to sleep. I slept almost all day because the food made my tummy feel odd. I was not happy at the prospect of having to eat this new strange food from now on, because of how queasy it made me feel. In fact, it was a little depressing.

But the next day a new fridge was delivered, and as soon as they put their food back into it, my mom and dad went out to the store to make a fresh batch of food for me. I'm grateful for the strange canned food because I didn't have to go hungry for a day when the fridge was broken, but I am really, really glad to be fed my usual food again! I hope this new refrigerator lasts a long, long time so my mom and dad can make endless batches of food for me that will stay nice and fresh and I can savor every last little morsel of it.

 

I Give My Mom a Kiss

July 20th 2009 12:29 pm
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Very early this morning, before dawn, my dad got up, took his camera, and went out. He was nice enough to give me a snack before he left. He's very nice when it comes to things like feeding me in the middle of the night or before dawn, if he's up.

But then the sun came up and he was still gone, and my mom was still asleep in bed, and I got hungry again. So I hopped up onto the bed and meowed a little. My mom remained asleep.

I stuck my muzzle into her hand curled on the pillow. She stirred a little and petted me sloppily on my face. OK, this was progress, sort of. I had to escalate things, though, because I was getting hungrier and I didn't know when my dad would come back.

So I stuck my nose into her nose and purred a little. She opened one eye halfway and petted me on my head, then closed her eye. OK, this was some more progress, sort of. I pushed my face into the hollow below her chin, and purred. Surely this would wake her and get her up to get me a snack, I thought. But she only opened her other eye halfway and petted me. Then tried to go back to sleep in spite of me pushing my head into her hand.

So I decided to give her a kiss. I leaned in close and licked her on the lips.

Funny how she's always giving me kisses, but when I give her a kiss it seems to perturb her. She sputtered and put her hand up to her face. "OK, Won, thanks for the kiss," she mumbled, opening her eyes. "OK, I get it, it's time for your snack. I'll get up, I'll get up. Just stop kissing me."

Yay! She was awake now (more or less). She got up and stumbled into the kitchen to get me a snack. It's a good thing, too, because my dad didn't come home for another hour and a half, and I would have been crazy with hunger by then.

Funny how I like it when my mom gives me a kiss, but she really doesn't seem to like it when I give her a kiss. I wonder why that is?

 

I Am Now Mrs. Bistro

June 26th 2009 1:02 pm
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I am now Mrs. Bistro. A couple of days ago I was Mrs. Beast, but now my mom is calling me Mrs. Bistro. Or maybe it's Mrs. "Beastro," I don't know.

Half the time I'm Baby Girl, the other half the time I'm Mrs. Bistro. It's quite confusing.

And I just realized that perhaps there is a Mr. Beast after all . . . well, maybe not a Mr. per se, but there is a Beast that lives in the hall closet that scares me when my mom or dad bring it out and let it loose on the carpet. I am NOT Mrs. Beast to THAT!! Nuh-uh. No way. But it seems I'm not Mrs. Beast anymore anyway, so that doesn't matter now.

Well, at least she's not calling me Creature any more.

 

The Strange Contraption

June 23rd 2009 11:32 pm
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Today my mom and dad left the house early and were gone for quite a while. When they got back they wrested a strange machine into the house through the front door. It had 3 wheels and a seat, with pedals up in front. I had no idea what in the world it could be. I have never seen such a strange contraption in all my days. It looked kind of like a horribly mutated bicycle.

My dad put it in the kitchen and did all kinds of work on it, adjusting things here and there. I came in to see what was going on, and he invited me to hop up into the seat. I was more interested in getting a scritchy-scratch from him at the moment, because I had been alone for a long time and I and wanted some hugs and kisses.

My mom came in and sat down in the seat, so I climbed up into her lap and lay there for a while, getting petted while my dad made adjustments on the contraption. Soon my mom began moving her feet on the pedals which disturbed the equilibrium of her lap, so I climbed into a nearby chair instead for a while. She moved the pedals and the contraption went clicky-clicky-clicky but it didn't go anywhere.

When it was dinnertime my dad moved the contraption out of the kitchen and into the living room. After dinner my dad wrested it out the front door, and my mom sat down in it. Then my dad got his bike out of the garage, and the 2 pedaled away down the street.

I sat by the door for a while feeling the cool evening breeze flow through the quiet house. I felt sad being alone so much all day. Even when my mom and dad were home, they focused their attention on the contraption, so I might as well have been all alone.

The sun had just gone down by the time they got back. They spent some more time in the garage adjusting things on the contraption, then they finally came back inside the house.

"I wonder if Won would like to go for a ride sometime?" my mom asked.

Maybe I would. But not if it's to the vet.

My dad said he knew about a cat who liked to ride on a motorcycle. I think motorcycles are too noisy. Sometimes one will go by the house and the noise is really horrible.

I think I may come to resent this strange new contraption in our household . . .

 

I Am Now Mrs. Beast

June 21st 2009 11:23 pm
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I am now Mrs. Beast. I used to be Cookie Pie Cat, but a couple of days ago my mom decided to call me Mrs. Beast. At first she was calling me Creature, then it was Beast, which evolved into Mrs. Beast.

I'm not sure how I feel about this.

Half the time I'm Baby Girl, the other half the time I'm Mrs. Beast. I get confused.

I hope my mom does not get confused and start to call me Mrs. Girl. Or Baby Beast! Oh, no!

And I just thought of something else . . . if I'm Mrs. Beast, where's my Mr. Beast? Well, there isn't any Mr. Beast! So I can't be Mrs. Beast! Ha!

Uh-oh, wait a minute . . . maybe there's something my mom and dad aren't telling me . . .

 

I Hunt a Giant Moth

June 6th 2009 10:45 pm
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A couple of nights ago a giant moth got trapped in the house and began flying around in the middle of the night. I don't think I've ever seen a moth so huge -- it was almost as big as my head! I think it was as big as some bats I've seen! This was a goliath of moths! A giant, fat, juicy moth on the wing!

Ooh, it was so enticing to chase! I bounced from room to room following its flight, leaping, spinning, pouncing, jumping, stalking and hurtling myself at its fluttering form when it drew tantalizingly close.

My dad got up in the middle of the night for a snack, and when the moth landed on the kitchen ceiling I implored him to make it come down again. He just sat there eating cereal and observing the situation. (I suspect he sympathized with the moth.)

Eventually it flew under the refrigerator, and even though I waited for a long time, it never came out.

I had a lot of fun hunting that moth, but boy was I sore the next day. I was a little disappointed I didn't see it again, but kind of glad too. My aging cat bones needed a rest.

 

I Get Back Into the Garage

June 5th 2009 3:59 pm
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My mom let me roam around the garage today. My dad went out of town and I think my mom was bored, so she didn't try to keep me out of the garage when she got back from the store.

First I had to patrol the perimeter, to make sure that Nasty Cat, Mangy Cat and Evil Cat hadn't trespassed. This was very important. My dad scared the daylights out of Nasty Cat last week, when he flung the bedroom window open suddenly at 5 AM when she was sitting outside on the ledge trying to provoke me. Since then she's been lurking around the house occasionally, trying to scoot by without my seeing her. But I am ever vigilant, and I know every one of her comings and goings on my turf. So I investigated around the back door and the garage door to make sure no interlopers had tried to claim it as theirs. OK, all secure.

Then I could nose around the garage purely for curiosity's sake. There were no more bags of sand to go wee in (alas), but I had fun squeezing behind the washer and dryer. (I wonder if I should tell my mom there's some odd socks back there?) When I emerged my mom kept on saying "You have a thing on you."

Huh?

"C'mere. Hold still. There's a thing on you."

Thing? I felt no "thing." Was this some kind of ruse for her to ban me anew from the garage?

I circled around the table and came toward her. When I got close she reached down and pulled something off my back. "OK, I got your thing. It's spider stuff. OK, all gone," she said, flicking her fingers free of a big dusty cobweb. "You have some dust on your eye whiskers too. Hold still," she said, rubbing my face with her hand. "OK, now, how about going back into the house?"

Drat! Aw, c'mon, Mom! I'm not hurting anything?

"Come on, kiddo. Let's go back inside."

Hmph. Is this the thanks I get for keeping the garage free of the likes of Nasty Cat and the other riffraff around here? Just who is going to protect this space if you ban me again, hm? You'll want to change your tune soon the next time Nasty Cat shows up! She is vile! She is nasty! She is evil, evil, EVIL!! And she must be kept away from here at all costs -- especially the garage (Mom, are you listening?)!

 
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