Old Kitties At Home

Who says I'm old??!
Anyway, it was just like one of those Norman Catwell painting the humans talk about (except they call him Rockwell). A very rainy late afternoon, the Woman has just gotten home, made her phone call, made her uh, "trip", checked emails, then sits on the couch. One kitty (Sandy) is wooed onto the couch, and onto her lap for a few short minutes while she gets a rubdown. While the other cat (Me) licks the Woman's tired feet.
Aww, if there was a hearth and a fireplace and a table with cocoa and cookies it would make a purrfect painting.
Okay, yeah, I licked her feet. .. but they weren't tired, she sits all day at that place she calls work, and I am NOT licking the thing she sits on!!! I'd rather lick MY thing that I sit on!
Feet are better anyway, licking them makes the Woman giggle.
And YES Sandy and I were even looking at each other without getting into a fight, why spoil the moment?

Homeland Security Or. .. . 10-pound Barrier?

I love company, Mommy calls me Miss Social Butterfly (Hello! I'm a cat, not a butterfly!)
I like to sit laps and sniff purrrrses and show off
but when a purrson that I don't know comes to the door, well, I have to be a little cautious.
Can ya blame me?
Ever heard of watch dogs? They make them in a smaller, furrier size now, watch cats!
Today after Mommy got home from work. .. WAY after, there was a knock on the door, and I didn't hear Auntie Jen's keys jingling or the jingle of that dang dog Lyndi's tags, so I got a little protective!
Can ya blame me?
Mommy doesn't know any better, she answered the door, but on her way, I put a stop to it and stood in her path.
Sue me!
She kept saying "MOVE!" Okay, so after the third time, I moved.
Hey, if it's an armed intruder wanting the TV, computer and her soul, it's outta my hands, unless of course they want the cat. .. let 'em have Sandy!
It turns out it was just the maintenance guy bringing up a package, nothing for me, not even a pet.
I get no respect.
Mommy told me she was reading a book called Cat Miracles (purrsonally I purrfurr my pal Max's Psychokitty books to that one) and there was a cat who could only croak like a frog and hiss like a snake, and when a burglar broke in in the middle of the night, Frog (the cat) scared the burglar so much he screamed for help, thinking there was a houseful of rattlers instead of a harmless (?) kitty!
Sucker! His goose was cooked, to jail he went!
Way to go Frog!
Way to go kitties! We save our humans from burglars, snakes (same breed) fire, everything!
But do we get food on time? NOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Oops, had a "Sandy" moment there.

BTW, Auntie Jen told Mommy that the maintenance guy (smae one?) found another cat toy in Jen's shower drain! This is the third cat toy they've found in her drain in FIVE YEARS!
But. .. Jen just got the kitty, and the kitty doesn't go in the shower. .. .but it did break the toy on top of my climber!
Where are all the cat toys coming from?
Another one of the mysteries of the world.
I'm Squeakers, signing off on the 9:47 Cat News, on Channel Catster.

Missy Meow-Meow?

That, I guess, is Mommy's new nickname for me, cuz when she says it, she's looking at me!
But I don't know why. I suppose cuz I've been meowing (and squeaking) myself hoarse.
She took me out again last night. Grandma wanted to see me and she was coming by to bring Mommy some stuff. . .nothing for me. .. so Mommy plucked me up off the comfy floor and took me downstairs again.
We got into Grandma's sporty little car, and I thought we'd be going somewhere, but we didn't. Grandma got all gushy over me, and petted me and took me off of Mommy's grasp. I sat and let Grandma pet me, but then Grandma got busy showing Mommy something, so I left and went to the backseat. I hid behind the seat for awhile then jumped back up and laid on the leathery backseat.
As soon as I got all comfy, and Mommy wasn't all worried about me, she decided to leave and she had Grandma get me from the backseat!
Wish that woman would make up her mind!
After some hugging and petting, we left, Mommy had a new toy in hand for me, a plastic bag! When we went back upstairs, I got all cuddly again, thanking Mommy for not taking me on a car ride, though this adventure was rather weird.
But when we got home, I stood by the door and meowd and meowed some more, off and on for hours. First Mommy made sure there was nothing wrong, then she ignored me, then she got as far as squirting me when I simply meowed, she even let me sit outside on the patio for awhile, but that made it worse, I wanted to stay out there!
I don't get her. First she used to ask me to be cute and meow, then when I do, she tells me to hush up!
I finally hushed up before she went to bed, and she was worried about the neighbors getting ticked off because of my lovely voice!
Wow, people don't complain when stars like Whitney Houston or Shania Twain give concerts. .. . why should they complain about my voice? I'm 10 times better!
When she got up to use her litter box and get a drink of water, I gave a little concert, and she told me to SHUT UP!
"Shut up Squeakers, I'm trying to sleep"
Well, excuuuuuuuuse me! She sings when I'm trying to sleep, like today, I was taking a nap and she was singing ABBA songs!
But now, my voice is getting hoarse, so I decided she wins, and I've left my vigil posts by the door and sliding door to sleep in the middle of the room so she trips on me. Tee hee hee!
Now I am my old cuddly self again Who needs to go out anyway? I was just getting back at her, trying to teach her a lesson for taking me out in the first place!
She then had the gall to tell her Mommy "Squeakers misses you. .. she's been meowing for you at the door all night!"
Yeah right. Grandma didn't believe that either. She knew the truth.

Mommy And Squeakers On An Afternoon Retreat

Re-treat? Treat? boy that word is deceiving, it has nothing to do with treats for me, but it was kind of a treat for Mommy.
Mommy has been having a bad week at that place where she answers the phone. Hmm, she answers the phone at home, but she's not having a bad time at home. . . .
Yesterday she came home and went right to bed! Sandy did the nursemaid thing, and I jumped up to check that she wasn't dying or something and then she fell asleep! But at least she got up to feed us.
Today when she came home, she was still kinda tired but was in a somewhat better mood. When she called her mommy, she insisted that Mommy take a walk, that it would make her feel better. Funny, ever since that dang Republican Convention started (it's only a couple miles away from us, BTW) she made Mommy promise she wouldn't walk anywhere by herself .. . Mommies are sure confusing. She didn't wanna go anywhere, but then she realized her Mommy had a point. Then she looked at Sandy and me. We got into a big HUGE fight this morning at 6:45, waking Mommy out of a somewhat sound sleep and a weird dream! Teehee! Sandy'll talk about that in her diary.
So Mommy thought that I'd been thru alot too, so she plucked me up off the ground and took me with her!
The only time I've gone anywhere with her is in that carrier or that stroller! But the nutso woman just took me out the door no less! Into the hall, down the elevator and OUT THE DOOR!!! Despite my protests!
She took me outside and walked around and around the backyard and around to the front, then we sat down. The front yard seemed quieter, and more familiar to me, so I kept my mouth shut, but purrrsonally I worried that she was waiting for someone to come take me to the vet, or worse, TAKE ME AWAY!!!
I guess I was paranoid. .. whatever that means.
Not many humans saw us and we just sat there. . . just sat there, then I realized that no one was coming for us. She said someithing about me having dandruff and trying to get it off my fur. After I calmed down it seemed kinda nice. It is kinda fall here, it's in the high 60's, crisp and cool and nice. I kinda liked it. I tried to get free to go smell the flowers arouund the place, but she wouldn't let me loose.
Finally she decided it was time to go in and when we were going up, I got more affectionate with her, because I knew now that she wasn't trying to get rid of me. I even let her Furminate me, and I'm not standing by the door and meowing like I usually do when we go out.
But maybe when she wants to sleep, I will sing my pretty little songs to go back outside. . . .

Butterflies Are Free

"I only ask to be free. The butterflies are free"
Charles Dickens

Well, maybe they're not. Mommy left me the latter part of the weekend to spend the holiday with her Mom. Last night they had a great time, they had a good fishy dinner (they always leave me out of the best stuff!) and they went to see a movie called Mama Mia which Mommy said was really REALLY good.
Today they went shopping and to some place called Como Zoo. I guess Grandma used to take Mommy there when she was little. But now they have a new place where they keep butterflies!
Mommy says, and I guess I take her word for it, cuz I've never seen them for myself, that butterflies are really pretty, but they are usually too small to be birds, but too big to be flies. Mommy says they have really pretty wings, and they flutter around looking pretty.
At Como Zoo, they have a conservatory with flowers, and now they have butterflies flying all over and some of them sit by trays of oranges and watermelons!
But humans have to be so careful! Not to step on any flies. .. I mean butterflies that might happen to swoop down to the ground. There was an incident today where a poor butterfly lost his wing. Mommy didn't do it, I swear! There are two people by each door to let people in and out to make sure that none of these bugs, which I asume they are, do not get out. Grandma thought they liked her and Mommy cuz of their light colored shirts and pants because they kept swooping down on them, kinda. And uh, two of them where plastered to a fence letting nature take it's course, if ya know what i mean *wink wink* Which is good, cuz Mommy said that Grandma read a thing saying butterflies could be extinct if peoples and animals kill them.
So if ya see a big bug with pretty wings, fight the urge to kill it and let it be free! Mommy says Grandma might get a plant that feeds butterflies for next spring.
Now Mommy is off to watch the movie Butterflies Are Free which actually has nothing to do with butterflies.

Stinky Goodness. . . Mmmmmm!

Mommy is reading a funny book called Psycho Kitty: Diary of a Mad Housecat It's by a very wise cat named Max with a very sharp tongue! Of course his Woman does the typing and the *cough cough* censoring. . .or at least some of the censoring!
Mommy was reading it at all the downtimes at work today, and it was all she could do to not bust out laughing! It was so funny! So she came home and read some choice entries to me, and boy, she finally has made a good choice of reading material!
Max eats Fancy Feast too, and he calls it Stinky Goodness *giggles* He's got that right! It's yummy! After Mommy read about the Stinky Goodness, she gave me some when she got home. Thanks Max, I owe ya! And he almost got sat on by his Woman, and said that he almost got killed by Human Female Butt! *laughs hysterically* Mommy tried so hard, and kinda succeded in keeping her uproarious laughter in check at work, but she was keeping it in so hard that she almost burst out, and she was even leaking! It reminded her of the times she sat on me and I protested with a loud squeak.
Not a good book to read at work!
She's going to read some more to me now, and we can laugh til we need to visit the litterbox!
I wish we could spend all weekend reading Max's wonderfully funny words, but Mommy has to clean tomorrow, luckily the Growl Monster's belt is broken. And then Grandma's picking her up on Sunday so I'll be alone to taunt Sandy.
Mommy hopes it will go slow, but I hope this weekend flies by, at least the part where I'm alone. . ..
I also got to see Leo on Wednesday night! *does Happy Cat Dance* I's been so long since I saw him, and it was so good to see him and Cali again! I sure hope he had a Happy Birthday!

If anykitty wants to read Max's brilliant musings about Humans, he has a blog!
www.psychokitty.blogspot.com
I sure hope it's still up, his book was written in 2005
I'm going to check and pay tribute to him!

Kitty Olympics: Roughhousing with Mommy

Mommy is on the computer, I come up to her, stare at her for awhile, then jump on the desk, where I am told I am not allowed. Mommy stops and grabs me and I lie across her arms for awhile. Her arms get tired, so she turns me over. I fight her, but she winds up holding me like a baby and whispers sweet nothings in my ear.
I groan, this is pathetic! And I want down. .. NOW!
But she won't let me down. I groan some more and she rubs noses with me , then, because my defenses are down, I don't have the use of my front legs, and my back legs are doing not much good. . .SHE TICKLES AND RUBS MY TUMMY!!!!!
I HATE THAT!
I groan even louder,and she makes raspberries on my tummy.
Will it ever stop?
Somecat, call ASPCA ASAP!!!
Then she puts her nose to my nose. I groan, but I don't bite anymore, so I have no defense. besides, I kinda like it. Tee hee
Finally she gets tired and lets me go.
Then it's treat time. She gives me treats for being such a good sport while she shows her brand of affection on me.
Sandy peeks around the corner, she wants some treats too, but I am getting all the attention. Mommy throws out a couple treats Sandy's way. they end up under the dresser, Sandy dives for them, and winds up crunching, so she's got them! She is very talented!
Another treat is thrown out between Sandy and me. Sandy bops me on the nose and we fistfight temporarily. I give in and let Sandy have the treat.
I've had a long hard night
Mommy isn't that rough with me, and I know she does it cuz she loves to play with me, so I agree to put up with it once in awhile. .. only once in awhile!
So where is my Olympic gold medal for Roughhousing hmm??

Girls and Their Treats

Since Mommy's been doing some cleaning. . .well, maybe just some picking up, she's been moving things around alot. she moved our yummy Greenies to a new location, and she thought she moved them back to their normal impossible-to-reach-by-feline-paws location again, but she hadn't.
Sandy was furminated before our company came Saturday, and that was in the bedroom, so Mommy thought she left the Greenies in the bedroom. . .
Today when she got home, she wanted to give us treats (and why not??) but she couldn't find our Greenies! Oh she looked under the bed, and she found some old Whiskas, but that would just not do, even though they were yummy at a time, and they were still in a bottle they had gotten a bit stale as time went by.
She did find an empty package of Greenies and immediately threw it away and settled with giving us the stale old Whiskas.
I don't know what I did to deserve this! Yucky!
But between the two of us, we finished off the old bottle, not much left. Then she took the garbage out, making a mess of kitty litter in the hallway, for her, and only her to sweep up (do you know how hard it is to sweep with only a broom and no vacuum? With tenants giving her a funny look?)
Then she looked for the fourth time in her usual hiding spot, which only held her umpteen bags of root beer barrel candies.
Not interested.
Finally it got into that thick head of hers to look in the armrest of the sofa (each armrest is like a recliner armrest, it has a thing to pull out the ottoman and a place to put remotes, etc) and volla!!
There were our precious Greenies!
But by that time we were no longer hungry, our appetites had been spoiled by those stale Whiskas :-(
Although we did get a couple, and Mommy got a root beer barrel.

368 Group Mails! Holy Hairballs!!!!!!!

We haven't been on Catster much this past week. After Mommy got back from the Feline Rescue last Saturday, she had a seizure! she bit her tongue and fell while on the phone with Auntie Jen. Auntie Jen and Lyndi came up twice to check on her. .. . now that's a good neighbor!
Mommy's tongue still hurts. .. .
She stayed home on Monday, with us kitties in bed with her, watching Butterflies Are Free on DVD and she went back to work on Tuesday :-(
Auntie Jen did wait for her new kitten, and she picked it up Tuesday night. Poor kitty had a long day, going to work with his former owner, being taken by Jen's sister-in-law, back to a home with three cats and a very curious 11-month old baby, then coming back to Jen's on a bus, no doubt, and having to hiss at Lyndi.
That's his job now, not mine!
The kitty (I haven't seen it, he needs to be fully checked over before he comes in contact with any other cats) is 8-9 weeks old, orange and white (check the second pic on my page) and he was taken to the dreaded vet yesterday and weighed. He is only 2.7 pounds!
Which made Mommy and Grandma, who came over to see him on Thursday, coo. he is now using MY scratching post, and MY springy toy, and he loves them! Wonder if I well ever get them back?
He does, unfortunately, have ear mites, and has to take drops for them. I know the story, although I've only had waxy infected ears.
As for Lyndi, he doesn't hiss at her anymore, and they kinda ignore each other, except he likes to sleep on the dog's bed, along with sleeping with his new Mommy, who he loves!
The first night, he slept in the bathroom cuz Jen wasn't sure if he was fully litterbox trained, which he is, so now he has the run of the house.
What more could a kitten want?
Except for a better name. . . his name is. .. TWINKIE! :-O
Mommy made Jen pawmise she wouldn't name him Twerp Jr. after her first cat, and she didn't, but Twinkie isn't much better!

Speaking of orangies, I finally got to see my Leo for a few minutes at the Purr Meeting on Wednesday! Awww, it was so nice to MUAH with him! I almost was a bad friend, I almost forgot Cali's birthday yesterday! *smacks paws* Bad kitty!
I must also smell funny, I got more Febreeze collars on my page than both the Bridge Kittens and Sandy!
And today I finally decided to dive into all those group mails, starting from last Thursday! and I had a whopping 368!!! it took me hours, cuz Mommy had to go to beepball practice, but i finally got thru them all! I didn't read them all, but a big chunk of them!
Now I'm so sick of the puter I'm gonna have a hairball. .. bye!

Bless All the Dear Kitties

Mommy and Auntie Jen went to a place called Feline Rescue on Saturday after beepball practice. Auntie Jen wanted to adopt a kitty NOW!
Lately she has been wanting to adopt a kitten, and a coworker of her sister-in-law, who lived on a farm, had part of a litter to give away. Bhe wanted to wait until the kitten became old enough to leave his mother, which was fine for Jen. .. except. . .
Just when that time came about, the coworker threw her back out feeding the chickens in the chicken coop! Nobody knew how long she'd be away from work. .. days. .. weeks. .. months? and Jen wanted a kitten. .. NOW!
So Mommy went with her to this Feline Rescue place, where the only cats in cages were those that didn't get along with other cats. Mommy got to pet some nice kitties, and she sat down with one tortie, who clumbed up into her lap, purred, then. .. . scratched her face!
HAHA!! There were some purrty kitties, some okay kitties and some friendly kitties and a couple cranky kitties, but who could blame them, stuck in that place, waiting to be adopted?
In fact, there was one, very nice orangie named Milo that has been waiting to be adopted since 2004 :-(
Jen was looking for a kitten, and there were two purrty girl kittens just waiting for a good home, one was Pansy, she had a purrty gray coat but a short tail, shorter than most cats, but she was so very sweet! Mommy tried talking Jen into taking her, but the tail made Jen queasy. There was a Kit Kat, she was a tuxedo kitten, very nice and very nice looking, and Jen came kinda close to taking her home, but there was a big glitch. . .. declawing.
Now I know declawing is a BIG subject all around Catster, but unfortunately there is a rule in our building that all cats should be declawed, at least on their front paws :-( And the shelter had a no declaw policy, which is good for the kitties, not good for Jen.
Mommy just told Jen to do what she had first planned on doing, wait til the lady came back to work. Jen agreed and they came home. Mommy felt so bad for those kitties, especially that Milo, and those ones that have been there for life, and plan to be there for the rest of their lives :-(
Well, finally today, Jen got the call that the lady came back to work, and brought the little kitten with her! The sister-in-law took him from work to her home, and Jen came to her brother's house to meet and claim her brand new kitty!
Mommy came down right away to see him. He's so much smaller than either Sandy or me, he's light orange with a white tummy and Mommy can pretty much hold him with one hand! Now Mommy's kicking herself that she didn't bring her camera down to take pics of him, Jen was doing enough of that as it was
Jen has a yellow lab guide dog, and there's been a whole lotta hissin' goin' on from the kitty, yet, not as much hissing as Sandy and I had! The kitty is like most males, gives a few hisses to state his warning, then chills out and sits there looking pretty!
The kitty (no name for it yet, temporarily he's called Twinkie) isn't all the way litterbox trained, so Jen is keeping him in the bathroom all night for the first week. He also has ear mites :-(
But he's a very lucky kitty. He has a home, didn't get run over like his littermates, and has a ready-made furry pal, Lyndi!