The Life of a Princess Pork Chop

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Little Mammas

February 20th 2010 6:38 pm
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Little Mammas....nickname du jour. This was what Mommy decided to call me today.

Yesterday, it was Peanut Butter Cake. The day before, it was Sweet Cheeks. Does any other cat have a problem with the Momma calling you silly names?? Where does she come up with this nonsense?? What the paw?? Why can't I just be...

Chloe Princess Pork Chop of Woodview??!!

PS. Little gray kitty has returned and has finished a 4 lb. bag of cat food already. Today Mommy gave him/her some moist food. Gray Cat ran as soon as he/she saw Mommy but not too far. Mommy ran outside, placed the food by the shed, and ran right back to the house. It only took a few moments for Gray Cat to run to the food and eat. It made us all smile. Mommy also spent some time today at the no kill shelter. She donates a case of food every 2 weeks or so. There were 37 cats in a fairly small room just waiting for their forever home. Let's purr they find one soon.

 

No??? Spanked????

February 19th 2010 5:19 pm
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What do these words mean? They are foreign to a princess pork chop girl cat. But Mom just said them to me. Here is what happened....

I've been trying to get behind the Vermont Stove. There is a very little space there with lots of wires. I thought I would be adventurous and see what lies behind. That is when the Momma yelled, "No Chloe!" I turned to face this strange turn of events. I've heard Mommy say that word to Harley lots and lots when he was a little whippersnapper but not so much now that he is a big baby buffalo.

HHMMPPFFfffhhhttt...puht!!

I continued on my adventure. That is when I heard the "spank" word. She, my most beloved slave, uttered a threat......."do you want to get spanked!?" I opened my beautiful orange eyes and stared at her.....

Then she came over and scooped me up! She snuggled me and gave me lots of loving. It made me squeak!! See, she would never ever lay an angry hand on me or on Harley. The concept of animal abuse is uncomprehensible to her!

Mom loves my markings. She always says that my white is a pure as an angel wing, that my black is like onyx and my orange like the autumn leaf. Ain't she a crazy thing??

So the word No is now YES and spank is now SNUGGLE! hehehehehe

XXOO

 

A LOVE LIKE OURS

February 13th 2010 2:15 pm
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That is what every cat deserves....a love like the one shared by me and my Mommy. I just sit and stare at her with smiling eyes. I could spend hours with the top of my head resting on any part of her body, rubbing back and forth just to let her know that I am there. For all the pork choppin' trash talk that I dish out, I really am a little lovebug.

She had an AMAZING 16 1/2 year relationship with Roscoe. She didn't think she could love any cat as much as she loved him. Thankfully, she was wrong. Oh, it is a different kind of love. Mom and Roscoe grew up together. She didn't have to "work at" that relationship at all. With us, of course, it took some time and trust to make me feel safe. We've tackled many health issues with the love and support of our Catster family. I am Mommy's little miracle girl.

Don't think Harley is left out in this lovefest, by any means! He is as loving as he is big (when he isn't sleeping, that is!)

The impetus for this diary entry started with that little gray cat. He or She is back....completely feral and completely hungry. He runs SO fast when he sees a human. I wish I could meow to him that my purrants would never ever hurt him or her. So, Mom has been putting out food and water and he comes around when he is sure she is long gone. He eats with wild abandon. I lounge in front of my Vermont Stove. It just doesn't seem fair. Every cat deserves......

A LOVE LIKE OURS.

Happy Valentine's Day to EveryCat and their loving family....we know everyone on Catster is just wild about their furbabies!!! MWAH! (loving) PORK CHOPS!

 

Mother Nature ROCKS!!!

February 11th 2010 3:26 pm
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Hi Furred Friends!

Remember how Mother Nature sent a blizzard last weekend just for me....so that my purrants were unable to leave for their trip??? That snow left about 20 inches of the white powdery stuff on the ground.

WELL....*catnip glazed grin*, she struck again!! Late on Tuesday, the second blizzard started and lasted for about 24 hours...ending last night at about 7 PM. ANOTHER 20 INCHES!!! Unbelieveable!! But, remember, it is all about me...so what makes this so special is that Mommy was off work on Wednesday, again today...and just got a phone call that schools are closed again tomorrow! That's right, purr pals, 3 snow days that allowed for my proper pampering...and then 2 day weekend and a holiday on Monday! I am getting treats, catnip (hiccup) and lovin' galore! So is the Fatty Catty!

I supervised the snow shoveling and snow blower activity from the comfort of my Gathering Room. And what did my eyes see??? A little gray kitty tearing around the yard. My purrants were so sad to think this little furbaby didn't have the love that it deserves. It was obviously a feral dude so my mommy didn't try to approach the cat but left out some moist food. When she returned about 20 minutes later, the food was completely scarfed up. If she sees the gray pal again, she will continue to provide food. Harley and I don't even mind sharing with our homeless friend. The good news is that there are horse farms surrounding us so that is probably where the kitty lays its head at night.

More storms are heading our way. Blame it on El Nino! I love when the bad weather makes my Mommy my housebound slave. And trust me...just look at me...I am a demanding BOSS!

XXOOXXOO (((HUGS))))

 

Trap Door Chloe Cake

February 8th 2010 3:00 pm
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That's what my Daddy calls it when I intentionally yawn. Does any other cat do this?

It is a fake yawn reserved for my purrants to indicate my boredom with them (which really is the EXACT opposite)......I am very interested in all things Mommy and Daddy!

Here is an example: every night after I take my heart pill, Mom treats me to some moist food. And every single time she presents the yummy din din to me, EVERY time...I yawn prior to licking away. I don't eat much, I just lap up the gravy but I pretend that it is no big deal when, in fact...it is a big deal!!

The "trap door" refers to how very very wide I open my mouth! For a little petite girly girl, I have a big ole pie hole!

Things continue to be *crosses paws and tails* healthy for me. Can you believe it? Mom went back in my diary and re-read that tumultuous time in our lives. Edgar reminded us about all the Catster support we had back then (and still do!) and of course, Mom did the waterworks things. Big ole Sissy Mommy!

(I just pork chopped my mousie across the room and now I am going to diva out in front of the Vermont Stove. Another impending blizzard is coming our way starting tomorrow afternoon so I bet I'll have a snow day with Mommy on Wednesday....no school means teachers get to stay home!

*HAPPY TRAP DOOR CHLOE CAKE DANCE*
love you all.....we really really do.

 

Mother Nature is my Furiend!

February 5th 2010 3:33 pm
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*evil snorts and giggles*

Mother Nature foiled the red luggage!! Mother Nature foiled the red luggage!

My purrants had a *pork chop* trip planned for this weekend. For the past 16 years, they have traveled to Ocean City Maryland to party with their besties for Superbowl weekend. They have a tradition of going to their special bar (BJ's on the Water) to listen to Teenage Rust during the afternoon and then back to the house for the game. They even have the nickname with the bar "The Bowlers" AND the bar picks them up and brings them home.....so, yeah....they are regulars!

18-24 inches of snow over the next 24 hours.
Snow emergency....no driving allowed.
HUGE storm means they are not leaving this weekend....not even out of the house.

Snow storm+Vermont stove+mommy= one happy little girl cat. :)

 

MA!!!!.....He is TOUCHING me!!

February 2nd 2010 4:55 pm
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Does anyone else have a 30 lb. "little" brother who is a pesterbug??

Once upon a time, I couldn't even tolerate the sight of my baby brother. He was such a torturous little stinker who liked to jump on my back and ride me like a horse in the Kentucky Derby. Over the past 4 1/2 years, he has mellowed (or maybe it is because he has gained 27 lbs!!) Now he just likes to snooze and chow, chow and snooze.

But the thing is....he likes to sleep NEXT to me! Not only that, but his paw has to TOUCH me! See, we have this warm Vermont Stove that we both love to lounge in front of. Also, my fiance Picasso, at the Bridge, sent me a crinkly bed that we both love as well. We both hunker down and refuse to budge. It is all well and good until he stretches out his paw and lands it right on my bumper kit (AKA rear end). I grumble and groan but to no avail. I've given up on the pork chops and the hissing and just let him touch me. Am I getting to be a softie in my old age???? I no longer dole out the pork chops like I used to!!

Mom explained to me that it is his way of letting me know that I am not alone and that he loves me.....so, I guess that is okay!

(right now we are both SNORING...I have my front paws in the air and Fatty has both paws resting on my tail....I wish everycat had the life of Chloe and Harley!)

XXOO

 

Paradise Interuptted!!!!

January 23rd 2010 7:27 pm
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Oh, I was loving my posh and PRIVATE potty in the master bathroom. I used it all dainty like a proper princess should.

Until......the MAD TURDINATOR discovered my treasure. And DEFILED it!

Well, it was only a matter of time. One night when I was snoring away on my pillow above Mommy's head, I was awakened....as was my purrants....by a loud and furious noise from the bathroom. Mom dragged herself out of bed to inspect and discovered my "little" 30 lb. brother digging for China in MY litter box. Mom yelled at Fatty who reacted my laying down in the litter box. Yep, he was going to take a nap. When she yelled again, he high tailed it out of there....while kicking up litter ALL OVER the bathroom. The next morning my purrants had cat litter between their toes as they took their showers in preparation for work. Mom joked that they should pretend it was the beach and the litter was sand.....Dad wasn't going for it. SO...now there is a small vacuum in the bathroom that Mom uses twice a day.

That is NOT all, fur folks,....Harley Hog also is leaving Hershey Squirts on the bathroom floor. See, his butt is too big for the box and he thinks he is getting the poopers in the box when really they land on the floor.

We are A LOT of work for our Mommy but she loves us more and more each day. Right now I am sprawled out in front of the Vermont Stove staring lovingly at her as she updates my diary. If I could, I would have little hearts coming out of my eyes. And she loves me just as much!

your everloving CQ Cake

 

CQ and the Private Potty

January 17th 2010 11:06 am
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Here is how to score your own private litter box in the master bathroom...

Pee on your Momma.

That is exactly what I did! Early one morning, I needed to peep but was too lazy, too tired, too something or other so I peeped on the bed, right on top of Mom. She was stirring, getting ready to start her day around 5:45 AM when she felt something warm and wet. Thinking it was a dream, she rolled over and WHAT??!!??!!

My purrants were more concerned than mad. I NEVER do stuff like that. Mom had to strip the bed and wash all the bedding. Nice way to start the day....NOT!

So the solution was to open the bathroom door at night (they had kept is shut cuz I like to go in there and peep on the rugs) and add a litter box. That makes 3! My early morning routine goes like this now: wake purrants up at 4 AM, demand pets until 5, eat my special kidney food out of my special bowl on top of the hope chest at the foot of the bed, LOUDLY drink water, walk off of the bed using my special bed steps, saunter into the bathroom, peep and sometimes poop in my private potty, saunter back up the stairs, lay of Mom's head, pork chop Dad and drift off to LaLa Land. The name of my favorite treat sums up my world: Good Life.

CQ (Chloe-Q) XXOO

 

Pork Choppin' in 2010

January 10th 2010 6:52 pm
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I've decided that this is the Year of the Pork Chop.

I started by Pork Choppin' my Poppa at 5 AM. See, I am a midnight lover. I go from Momma to Poppa demanding lovin' from the minute they lay down to the minute the arise. Usually I start with Momma since she is the one to carry me to my litter box before bed and then carry me up to bed.

WHAT?? I told you I was a diva.

I wait for Momma to do her nightly routine....ugh, makeup remover, hair combing, teeth brushing...it is SO tedious to be a human.

Then, as she settles in, I am on her...LOVE ME! TOUCH ME! We do the kitty cat waltz as she attempts to sleep. I then travel down the bed, over the purrants feet, and visit my Poppa. I do this several times before settling down in my bed on the hope chest. It is at the foot of my purrants bed.

I visist randomly through the night, drinking my Momma's water, pulling her hair, etc.

But here is what I did: I PORK CHOPPED Poppa! He fell ASLEEP *gasp* as he gave me loving. So I whacked him 8 times quickly right on his chest to wake him up!

How could he????? Oh, he gave me 1 hour of straight loving, I went to sleep as he blearly arose to go to work.

I am the Princess Pork Chop, damn it!! XXOOXXOO

 
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