February 7th 2010 2:59 pm
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Oh My CAT !!!
Have you seen? Miz Rose
Not only has she written in her most recent diary entry "that the mancats just need some "luvins" (A more terrifying sentence you could not have invented) - But now she is displaying some picture on her page where I'm in a chained and padlocked phone booth and she's reaching down at me.
I can see that the phone is already off the hook. I must have tried calling for 'backup'
I clearly look terrified - but I do notice (happily I might add), that diapered baby has his bow and arrow aimed directly at Miz Rose's butt. (He can't miss at that distance)
What I'm not quite sure of, is exactly how I've come to be in this phone booth or *who* put the chains and padlock around it. Was it me or Miz Rose?!?
Anyway guys...
Here I am chained in a box, faced with the prospect of becoming Miz Rose's "love toy"
I need a trick! I need to make like "Catty Houdini" and escape from this box~!
HALP !!!
February 7th 2010 6:14 am
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"The Girl-Cats of Catster That I'd Most Like To See Shot By The Diapered Flying Baby"
Today's Girl is : Hallie Baloo
7. Hallie Baloo - This girl lived a cloistered, sheltered life for her first 5 years. Initially picked up from the Los Carneros area as a feral kitten at the tender age of five months old and then taken to live at the cloister. A life behind bars... what's that do to a kitty's mind?
When Hallie went to forever home she found herself quickly overwhelmed and hid - Although her *catitude* was already asserting itself. Her very first diary entry stated "I'M NOT COMING OUT...AND YOU CAN'T MAKE ME." - An *ominous* import of "things to come." As Hallie grew more comfortable and less cautious the *real* Hallie Baloo began to show. Gone was the wary young girl from the cloister and in her place was an assertive, opinionated "Cat woman" who would take the world as her oyster.
With a big hearted, big brother to share her life with - Hallie quickly found herself wanting to be "in charge" - Challenging not only Wilson J's authority at home, but also running amok through even my diary entries to give me some of her 'Catitude.'
February 5th 2010 11:43 pm
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"The Girl-Cats of Catster That I'd Most Like To See Shot By The Diapered Flying Baby"
Today's Girl is : Cali
6. Cali - Another girl who displays the qualities of a "fiery red" patched coat. Most recently cast as Calineezer Scrooge in her family's production of: A Catsmas Carol
Cali is also a Space Cadet and CASA Officer who dared to once made fun of me, after an accidentally "open" mike broadcast a rather foul moment of mine. Cali's rough start in life seems to have left her with some "rough edges." This girl will "cut" you if you cut her off from her favorite kibble. Don't dare think of coming between Cali and her Popeye's chicken either, you'd be taking your life in your paws. A member of the "Grrrlcat Movement!" Cali is competitive with her brofur, but often delusional, believing that one day Girl-Cats will triumph over their Alpha Male brofurs. She has even dared to push her brofur away from his food bowl. A perfect example of another girl "who doesn't know her place in the hierarchy."
February 5th 2010 5:16 am
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"The Girl-Cats of Catster That I'd Most Like To See Shot By The Diapered Flying Baby"
Today's Girl is : Ishtar
5. Ishtar - This Berlin girl who looks similar to Sweets is probably the "brains" behind my Smacky Tomato's scheming. Ishtar can usually be found "egging" Sweets on in her attempts to control and undermine my authority. Fancying herself a warrioress, Ishtar has battled (and lost) against snow, pipe cleaners and a wasp. One does have to wonder though if so much time spent alone as an only cat to her human has managed to warp the brains of this one. Yet despite her behind the scenes scheming with Sweets, Ishtar does have some worthy ideas about "human control" and "home dominance" ~ She might not have even made my list, if she didn't think things like "that boys make the life really, really complicated. one has to teach them so much :((" or make comments to Sweets in which she calls me "the boy with the strange fantasies" There was even an incident back in August where Sweets and this Doppelganger were trying to *plan* an accident for me involving hot tea. Malicious, brutally honest and with a biting sharp wit. Ishtar has earned her place on my list.
February 4th 2010 5:59 am
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"The Girl-Cats of Catster That I'd Most Like To See Shot By The Diapered Flying Baby"
Today's Girl is : Winnie
4. A.K.A Winnie Bea - This "Thunk-a-bunk" Watermelon Crawler likes to play dirty and incite trouble. A true Drama Queen - She's another one who believes that "Brothercats are truly useless" and delights in screaming for "Mommy" even if her brofur is nowhere near her. She'd like nothing more than to get her brofur "blamed" for causing trouble that he hasn't even started yet ~ although her frequent overuse of this tactic has resulted in "The Girl Who Cried Wolf" syndrome. Watch this one closely, she's been known to ally herself with the girl-cats in a family and to try to covertly subvert male dominance from inside that family. A somewhat selfish girl, Miss Winnie prefers to have her Mommy all to herself and does not like to share. Airs of superiority surround this one who also believes herself intellectually superior to any *formerly* male cat. Her ego once swelled so large that her head could barely fit through doorways when Mrs Simon's mommy told Winnie that she thinks "Winnie is pretty enough to be Art."
Winnie has even made the classic girl-cat error of thinking that baby bunnies are cute and not for snacking.
February 3rd 2010 7:25 am
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"The Girl-Cats of Catster That I'd Most Like To See Shot By The Diapered Flying Baby"
Today's Girl is : Sweets
3. Sweets - A.K.A. The Smacky Tomato. Don't even look at this girl. She'll scream like she's being murdered and like lightning, she can smite you with her Smacky Paw anytime, anywhere. A real "Mistress of Manipulation" and a true Con Artist, this pint sized fury can affect a look of perfect wide eyed doe like innocence while secretly scheming with a pure ruthlessness all the ways to whack you and smack your head off. She'll contentedly cuddle up with a human in return for their "Protection" - Don't be fooled though, she's a schemer and a scammer. She'll often rely on her fused patella to garner human sympathy, while all the while being as "able" as any non-fused knee cat. Currently second in the family hierarchy with designs to be the "Top-Cat" ~ This one is always looking for a way to advance her position in "The Family."
February 2nd 2010 8:06 am
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"The Girl-Cats of Catster That I'd Most Like To See Shot By The Diapered Flying Baby"
Although NO Girl-Cat can come anywhere near Miz Rose's level of heinousness
Today's Girl is: Samoa
2. Miss Samoa - Feather Boa. Wearing feathers around your neck *would* be cool, IF they were *trophy* feathers from your own kills. But this girl wears the feathers of birds she never even saw and calls it "fashion."
Another one with delusions of grandeur this girl fancies herself as "Head of Household"
and throws about such words as "Queen" in regards to herself. She even thought that Survivor: Samoa was about her. Tell you what... I would really like to see ALL the girls from my list on an island together. Yeah, and we'd see *who* the survivor would be!
A real "Know it All" and self-styled Advice Columnist ~ I can't help but wonder "What Would Samoa Say" when shot in the butt by the Diapered Flying Baby
February 1st 2010 11:18 am
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"The Girl-Cats of Catster That I'd Most Like To See Shot By The Diapered Flying Baby"
Topping the list HAS to be: Miz Rose
1. Miz Rose - The "Queen of Pain" herself. Known to her brothers as only "IT" ~ This Ginja Ninja wannabe, delights in stalking, terrorizing and beating her brofurs. Delusional, she even believes that she controls pests and plagues. Able to leap bounds that seemingly defy her size, this foul creature most recently bit her brofur in the most private of places. Able to *ooze* like a dirty white slug, Miz Rose delights in surprise attacks and ambushes. Fluent in "Demoneze" ~ Her eyes even glow red like the possessed Demon-Cat of the Netherworld that she is. If she asks you to go "fishing" - REFUSE! Her plan is to "fish" using boy-cat ears and tails as her "bait." ~ If you happen to hear her *singing* any of her songs, cover your ears! If you happen to see her dancing her " 'I'm bad so bad yea bad so bad' boogie dance" - Cover your eyes.
Give a wide berth if you see this one anywhere near you.
February 1st 2010 11:12 am
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Well, my good buddy and fellow ManCat Caver ~ Tigger, has struck again!
Sending me more toys. (These are supposed to be for my sisfurs to keep them busy and away from *MY* red, gray and black argyle sock toy - but it's not working because I have corralled all the toys and sit guarding them against any girly-shenanigan play)
Yes! Even the black furred rat* is is my Corral . So I here I sit, vigilant in a catnip induced 'fog'
(*It's much too big to be a mouse - so I've decided it's a rat)
Thank YOU Tigger's Dad !!!
Next on my agenda is a disturbing trend that I have noticed this year. I know we're only into the second month of 2010, but already each of my sisfurs have had Caster HQ honors and on the days they were honored, our friends were crying.
On the day that Sweets was CotD - my friends were mourning that the little Eve made her journey to the bridge.
On the day that my sisfur Gabby was the DotD my friends again were sad. My hero Arnold P's mom had made a decision regarding him. Arnold has since "perked up" and that decision is *on hold*
I am not sure if this *crying curse* is related to the girl-cats of my house being honored, but I'm NOT taking any chances....
.... So if it means that NONE of my friends will cry, I will forfeit any Caster HQ honors. If it means that the "House of Nük" is not also the "House of Pain" to our friends.
Speaking of "Pain" - stay tuned because I have a list that I'm going to release day by day of "The Girl-Cats of Catster That I'd Most Like To See Shot By The Diapered Flying Baby"
(Not so that these girls will "fall in love" with me - but just to hear their "Indignant Screams")
Dreamy, huh?
MuahahahahahA
January 29th 2010 10:57 pm
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1. Do you have a Valentine?... If so... who?
Why yes, I do. I love her very very much - but we're different species so it's a "doomed" romance. I'm absolutely sure though that she loves me back.
2. If not... do you wish you did? ... Is there anyone particular? -
Do you mean, "Do I wish I had a She-Cat Valentine?"
Well... There was that bit of temporary insanity where I thought I was *in love* with Gabby, but she's my SISFUR, so that's kind of not cool. But look at her Gabby is Gorgeous - any cat could temporarily lose his mind for her.
3. What’s your favorite Love Song?... Who sings it?
The Bed's Too Big Without You - The Police
It's not really a love song, but I like it best when my Valentine lies on the bed with me or when I can lie on her chest.
4.What would be a Perfect Valentines Day for you?
An early morning chase of both Sweets & Gabby around the house until I knock them over or they scream. Neutering the UN.O as he sleeps and then waking him up so that *he* could find his *pockets picked*
Followed by a meal of wet food for only me and a catnip party. Afterwards I and my Valentine could cuddle on the bed and she could zoom groom me until I drool.
Then we could both take a nap.
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