Cat Haikus

Mom's been away from the computer for a looong time... so I had a little time brush up on my literary talents. (OK, I didn't write them - they're borrowed!) Enjoy the cat haikus

Am I in your way?
You seem to have it backward:
This pillow's taken.

The food in my bowl
Is old, and more to the point
Contains no tuna.

So you want to play.
Will I claw at dancing string?
Your ankle's closer.

Tiny can, dumped in
Plastic bowl. Presentation,
One star; service: none.

Your mouth is moving;
Up and down, emitting noise.
I've lost all interest.

The dog wags his tail,
Seeking approval. See mine?
Different message.

My brain: walnut-sized.
Yours: largest among primates.
Yet, who leaves for work?

Most problems can be
Ignored. The more difficult
Ones can be slept through.

My affection is
Conditional. Don't stand up,
It's your lap I love.

Cats can't steal the breath
Of children. But if my tail's
Pulled again, I'll learn.

I don't mind being
Teased, any more than you mind
A skin graft or two.

So you call this thing
Your "cat carrier." I call
These my "blades of death."

Toy mice, dancing yarn
Meowing sounds. I'm convinced:
You're an idiot.

Meowy Christmas

Cat's Christmas Prayer

Whoever made the stars that shine,
Whoever made green trees of pine,
Whoever dreamed up fish and mice,
Or sun and rain and snow and ice,
Must have the power in His paws
To help when there's a worthy cause.
Whoever gave the birds a nest
Will grant this humblcat's request.

For needy felines everywhere,
I meow my little Christmas prayer.
Please heal the sick
And cheer the sad,
Forgive the naughty,
and excuse the bad.

One more simple thing I ask:
A pool of sunlight in which to bask,
Plus a plate of food,
A safe, warm house,
A loving lap, a catnip mouse.
Freedom from fleas, furballs, and mats,
And homes for all the homeless cats.

from A Cat's Christmas by Stefanie Samek

My Christmas Photo Shoot

Well, today mom came home from work with Sydney-pup, who was gone all day so I got some really serious napping done today. What a relief. Anyway, the next thing I know Sydney has a new photo going up on the fridge. WHAT ABOUT ME????

I gave up on being subtle. So mom finally got a clue, and took the red and white fuzzy thing off Sydney-pup and put it on me. I purrrrrrrrrrrred and purrrrrrrrrrred to let her know she finally got it right. Then I laid on the bed while she took a bunch of pictures of me. I told her that she had to make that my new primary photo, and so it is. Me and my handsome Christmas hat.

Meowy Christmas!
- Seamus

A normal day and then... My first rosette

Today started like the past few. I was alseep, happy, then it was 5AM so I started trying to wake mom up. That is my current game. I start by nudging mom while purring (and I'm amazingly strong - I can actually move her whole body). She'll usually pet me and try to get me to go back to sleep, but I'm not that easy. If she doesn't wake up, then I crawl over her head (he he he) onto her nightstand. Once there I act like I'm about to fall over while trying to walk around her stuff. DUH - I'm a cat, I'm not going to fall. But she usually falls for it and trys to pick me up and cuddle with me. If she still is trying to sleep then I start throwing things (one of my patented tricks). But now I have stinky-Sydney-pup who remarkably helps. I throw things off the nightstand, and Sydney picks them up and tries to chew on them... she isn't REALLY chewing on them, she just fakes to try and wake mom up. So we tag-team for a while. This usually keeps her up for 45 minutes or so, and by then I know she's almost ready to get up.

So today started pretty much normal. After the whole wake-up-mommy routine, then she leaves with stinky-Sydney-pup for a while, and I sit at the front door and meow my complaints the WHOLE time she's gone (which annoys dad, and wakes him up a bit - BONUS). Eventually they come back, I demand my treats, and then we get on with our day. Mom showers and I sit like the king that I am on the bathroom counter, waiting for her to get out of the shower and adore me some more.

But then... a very special kitty Klemy (who has an especially awesome name) and is a really KOOL KAT, gave me my first rosette! Which, of course, just reinforces my cat knowledge that I'm su-purrrr.

Thanks Klemy, and I've reminded mommy to buy a extra special box of Q-tips.

PURRRRRRRR! - Seamus

Dear Diary (and fellow Catsters)

Well, after thorough review I've decided that Catster is pretty cool. As a mature cat of 15 years I didn't want to just jump in without a thorough review. (I did that once as a kitten and ended up in a tub full of water - NOT my idea of fun.) So I let my sister Sydney-pup try out Dogster for a while first. I figured she could give the whole thing a trial, work out the bumps, and then I'd decide if it was cool or not.

But then... I realized that she was getting all the attention... all the mail... all the love... NO FAIR! So now here I am!! Honing in on the attention.

This morning I decided to wake my mom up by pouncing on her. So what if she was sleeping? I, King Seamus, decreed that it was time to PLAY!! So I kept pouncing on her legs, and her belly, and her arms. If she moved at all then I pounced more. She was groaning about being tired and it being early, but I don't know why she was worried... I can nap all morning (and all afternoon), so I'll get my beauty rest. Not to worry. Then Sydney-pup wanted to get in on the game... when I play on the bed she stands on her back legs to watch, and whines 'cause she can't be part of the game. (I'm allowed on the bed, she isn't - nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah!) Once I was sure mom was awake then I curled up on her tummy purring and went to sleep. Wasn't that sweet of me?

Well, I guess it is time for my next nap.
Purrrrrrrrrrr,
- Seamus