Quality Mama Time

Yup that's what I've been doing lately.

I mean there was all the noise that Diesel's family (he's the cat that lived next door for the past couple of years. We met once when he dashed into my space uninvited!) made as they moved out, which was quite distressful. Then were was the big huge machines that put the black stuff on the road and smooth it out; they parked in front of our building and oh the noise! Then there was a police man out there with the bagger people with the flags and there was banging outside the bathroom window too and IT WAS ALL SO STRESSFUL!

But its been raining the past couple of days and Mama's been curling up with me on the bed with her music, her phone, and a book, so all is well with my world. I will even forgive her for not getting up to clean my litter box yet!

*Hanging Head*

I am such a horrible BFF. That's what Mama says humans call their besties these days.

My bestie, Jason, was COTD yesterday and I didn't even mention it in my diary! How could I have been so busy yesterday that I didn't trumpet his good fortune and Catster's obvious great taste in cats?

No worries; I did sing his praises in the groups and gave him a handsome party hat to wear, but still. There's no excuse for forgetting my best furiend, so I made him a banner and stuck it on my page. You were a terrific choice, Jas, and you were a pawsome COTD!

In other news... that Mama of mine; what shall I ever do with her? If its not one thing, its something else going wrong. This morning she woke up and her eye was stiff, she said. It felt puffy. She couldn't see well. She went to look in the mirror (before giving me breakfast, I must add.. grrr...) and found that something called a pimp got stuck under her eye and swelled the entire thing up. I don't know what a pimp is, but it won't come off her face. Mama's been putting ice on it and funny smelling medicine on it.

The good part to Mama having a pimp on her face is that she couldn't see to drive. No church or going to Memere's for lunch for Mama! Nope! Instead she turned on her music and rested with Kenzie and me.

That makes up for yesterday, which I didn't mention, because I was too busy stalking the potting crock that was cooking the pot roasting in it. Oh you've never smelt anything so delicious in all your lives! Mama wouldn't give me one lick, either. Not only that, but when she was washing the pan, she nailed me with the sink spray!

Now that I think about it... I think that pimp is God's way of paying Mama back for treating me so terrible yesterday! MOL

I'm Busy - Oh So Busy!

Mama says I don't need to be so busy, specially when she's got a head that feels like its the size of Texas. (Hey cats - do you know what Texas is and how big it might be? I have no idea!)

I am a cat of habit. I love to talk. I meow to Mama; I meow to Mackenzie; I especially love to meow at my toys as I toss them around the apartment. Mama has this funny need to pick up all my toys and put them in the toy basket that's in the kitchen.

I prefer to have my toys in the living room. After all, it is a living room. Mama says if I leave them there, then I shouldn't whine if Shortie or Ringo decide to snack on them.

Mama usually talks to me when I'm chatting, but with her Texas-sized head, she says she's got no tolerance for me "howling like a banshee" and "waking up the neighbors". I happen to know that the neighbors are on vacation but once when I howled I could hear the nice lady's cat, named Diesel, howling back at me. That was soooooooooooooo fun!

Mama says I need a new hobby. Since she's been spending a lot of time sleeping and laying in bed because her head hurts so much, I've decided that my new thing to do will be to snooze next to her; maybe I'll even knead her head so it doesn't hurt so much. Mama says "no, that won't work". Says that allergies don't work that way.

Hey, I offered!

Uh Oh

Um, Sebastian?

Purrs, Mama! You're awake! You gonna love me?

Of course I'm going to love you, but what is this in your diary about Mama needing another human? Have you been talking to Memere?

Um, well, ah, Mama, I was just thinking that two humans are better than one?

Well, this is true, but you make Mama sound... desperate. Mama's fine just as she is. If Mama had a human in her life, that would mean less time for Sebastian. Besides, where would be put another human in here?

*long pause*

So you see, its like a human saying: be careful what you wish for; it might just come true.

Gottcha, Mama. No more dreaming of more humans, especially for you!

And Sab?

Purrs, Mama!

Next time, talk to me first. Not everything needs to go into your diary for everyone to read.

What did you say Mama? You're going to pet my head? Purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrs

What a Cat Might Think Up

I'm telling you its not a good idea to have a cat with too much time to think. My mind makes me think up some pretty silly stuff!

See, I have a new furiend. Her name is Willow and she's a brilliant orange and white gal. I'm telling you, she is so silly lucky to choose such a swell dad. Know why? Because she got two of them! Can you imagine? TWO DADS!

Mackenzie met Alex a while ago at her Furt group. He has two moms. How did he get so lucky? I've only got one mom. My besties, Oliver and Sparkman, have a mom and a dad. Uncle Tony comes over, and he's got Auntie Julia. So I have to wonder: how come I only have one mom? Why can't I have two moms, or a mom and a dad, or maybe two dads? I'm guessing that two people means more love, right?

So I meowed to Mama about this. She says "it's not that simple, Sab", because love is "complicated" and I shouldn't get an ideas in my head.

Well, I'll tell you what idea is in my head. If Mama would only go out and get me another mama or even a daddy, then maybe she wouldn't keep bringing foster animals home and fussing over bringing home more animals for keeps! Maybe, if she had a purson to keep her busy, then that purson would spend time with me and mama and then Mama wouldn't be fussing over animals so much.

Cuz see, we've had Reese trouble this week. Reese is my new hamster sister, and what a little pain in the paw she's been! Mama started freaking out and going OH MY GAWD and calling people and wringing her hands on Monday. She was saying such silly stuff about one of Reese's paws missing. Yeah, right. Reese lost a paw? I don't think so.

I guess, though, that it is true: Reese lost a paw; she's only got 3 now. Mama figured out some medicine to give her for pain and then she dragged Reese to see Dr. Shawn yesterday and sure enough, when I stuck my nose in to see Reese, she didn't have a paw in the back - it was all red and swollen and stumpy! Then today Mama took Monet to see Dr. Shawn for Mo-Mo's annual check up. When Mama got home, she spent time working and talking to Shortie and Ringo, the foster buns. Yes, you read that right - we've got another foster bun to be pals with Shortie.

Do you see where I'm going with this? Mama really could really use a special human, and so could Kenzie and I! (I'm not crazy about this; I hear that Memere is thinking the same thing!)

This is what I've decided I want my new human to be like: I've got a mom, so I want a dad. One of each isn't too much to ask, is it? I don't want him to hog the bed; he's got to feed me whenever I so desire; play with me for hours on end; sleep a lot so I can lean against him; and he will never take me to the v*t. Of course, he must also love me and Mama and Mackenzie.

Yup, that's what I think. It's time to find Mama a human! I wonder what kind of human Mama would like to have? She is so gonna kill me for writing about this.....

Brilliant Mama!

OH BOY Kenzie and I had so much fun last night - way too much fun to be sleeping. You'll never guess what Mama did yesterday!

Oops, sorry; it is what she didn't do yesterday that is so exciting. She forgot to put the new bags of cat food in the shelf in the closet!

Yes, my friends, you read that right. Two, 4-pound bags of prescription cat food just standing next to the table leg, pleading and begging us to rescue them from boredom. I chewed both bags for good measure, but it was Kenzie who managed to crack open the bag of r/d....

but it was too close to waking-Mama-up time and getting food the easy way, so we changed our techniques. Mama came into the kitchen with her blurry eyes and no glasses on and realized her mistake immediately because we had left both bags on their sides! She didn't see the hole in the top of the r/d bag until she picked it up and kibble started raining from heaven! Mama was not pleased about that b/c then she had to step all over the kibble. She used the broom to sweep it into a pile and then left it there for us to enjoy.

I hope she does that again soon!

Boxes! Corners! Score!

This evening Mama decided to pull lots of stuff out of her closet. She got all the way to the bottom boxes and took them out. She got on the floor and started sorting through them. Shortie hopped over and thought it was just delightful to hop through the papers and nibble on the envelopes.

I, however, discovered that the boxes left a great snoozing spot in the closet! I got to it before Shortie could, and even though she came over to sniff me out, I wouldn't let her have my space! I stretched right out and watched Mama fill one of the boxes with some of the papers. She said she was getting ready for a "shredathon" at one of the TV stations tomorrow. She says they're going to munch through all that very important paper she doesn't need anymore and it would take her a long time to shred it.

This seems silly to me. I don't know why Mama would put the stuff in a box and drive it away to be shredded when Shortie does a fantastic job of shredding things all by herself! You should have seen what she did with the newspaper Mama was trying to read the other day. Shortie left strips of paper everywhere!

Earlier today, Uncle Tony and Auntie Julia stopped by with Mama's "babies", as she calls them, but they really are her nieces, whatever that is. Last time baby Lucy was here she wasn't walking much. Now she's walking everywhere really fast and she can talk and say my name and she laughed at me. She also loved to touch my head; she said I was soft.

Megan, the other "baby", didn't seem to know what to do with me. She did point at me and say "meow!" but only when Mama was holding her and telling her it was okay. The guinea pigs moving around were scary to her. Mama says that Megan lives with dog cousin Maggie; she's not used to small animals.

Now I know what bestie Oliver talks about when he says the little humans make messes and leave yummies on the floor. Lucy threw her egg and macaroni on the floor and I had a delightful time licking up the butter! I hope that's on my kidney diet....

Breathing Scratches

You'll never guess what Mama said to me this afternoon. She said: Sab, is that a cat scratch on your nose?

Needless to say, I gave her the look that means "you've got to be kidding, right?" I'm a cat; I have a scratch on my nose, so of course its a CAT SCRATCH!

Mama was concerned because it looks dirty bloody so she got a rag and wiped it. She expected me to fuss and give her a hard time, but it actually felt good - that cool rag on my warm nose.

It's hot today! Mama's little clock thingy that's outside our window says "92" on it; Mama says that's hot! I must agree; its very hot in here today, so I've been as little as possible. I spent the morning on the kitchen floor, under the open windows. (Mama says the windows in the kitchen face north and face the lake; its always cooler in the kitchen.) Mama called Uncle Tony and he's going to put the a/c in the window tomorrow. She had to go somewhere this morning but since she got back she's been watching me to make sure that I don't have an asthma attack.

I don't want an attack either, so that's why I'm being extra cat-like in doing nothing. The guinea pigs aren't doing much, either. Bijou's been lounging under his dripping water bottle, and Monet's been in his usual spot, hanging over the side of his house. Mama says he looks "wilted". Shortie has been lounging too, but unlike the rest of us, she's been enjoying some of the sun that's come through the shades. Shortie is totally black; not one other spec of color on her fur at all. She doesn't look hot! It's not fair!

Mama gave each of them a large piece of white tile to lay on; she says it helps them stay cool. I wish I could have one of those!

At least I've got cool, fresh water in my bowl. I think I'll expend some energy and walk over to it for some deep pondering before supper.

Plus Trouble!

Yippee! Mama renewed our "Catster Plus" today. She doesn't have money for lots of stuff, but she said that she'd make sure we got our plus. Thanks, mama!

As for the 'trouble' around here... Mama's got a really bad cold - again. I wish she'd stop bringing them home. Seems like she gets better and then she gets sick again.

Auntie Lisa and toddler Emma are home for a few days, so instead of Mama staying home so I can take care of her, she's been going to visit Memere instead. Grrrrr

That's caused its own problems. Shortie has become very nasty because she's spent too much time in the pen. She came out tonight and I'm telling you, I couldn't even imagine all the ways she's come up with to get into trouble. She raced around the room and rammed her head into me while I was walking! I raced behind the kitchen barrier before she could do it again, so what did Shortie do? She rammed her head into the barrier! Later, she took on Mackenzie, who slapped Shortie's nose, and both of them got scolded by Mama. Mama has been wringing her hands tonight, worried about how upset Shortie is because she's had to be in the pen so long and wondering how to help Shortie get past her bad memories. She's been making phone calls and emailing people and reading stuff.... all while playing trumpet with her nose and coughing all over the keyboard.

Nope, I don't plan on touching that keyboard for a while... and thankfully, Shortie finally decided to go to her pen and eat her fresh pile of hay. We can all sleep peacefully now!

The Dumb Cat

I am sort of ashamed to say I might even look like this dumb cat I saw this morning. I know that none of my faithful readers would never be as dumb as this cat.

First of all, he's an outdoor cat. That makes him silly. How can you possibly find a soft spot to sleep when you're outside? I've never seen a bed or a pillow or a pile of laundry outside. I will admit it looks easier to find the sun when you're outside.... oh sorry; stay on track, Sab!

OK! So this cat (who was not a brilliant orange) was walking up and down the sidewalk most of the morning while I snoozed in the open window. I don't know what was so important that he was waiting for, but apparently he found it, because he finally decided to cross the road.

This is where he was a very dumb cat. He crossed the road at the same time that a car was coming! Doesn't he know that cars are baaaaaaaaaaaad and evil and only want to do hurtful things to cats?

Mama's had her nose stuck in a book the past day or so, so I was surprised that she saw the entire thing, too. I heard her suck on her air and heard her say "thank goodness that car slowed down" because dumb, silly brown & gray & white cat raced over to our side of the road and the silver car slowed down and didn't hit the dumb cat.

Phew. I'm so glad Mama makes me stay inside.