Someone Stole My Mama & I Want Her Back

This new mama is so unpredictable. She's doing very strange things - and not giving me the proper attention or time of day. What strange things might she be doing?

(1) she spent hours this week making a menu and a grocery list. Do you know what a menu is? Neither do I. never seen one before. Apparently it goes on blueish colored paper and had lots of boxes on it.

(2) she came home from grocery shopping with all this food and not a thing for us to eat. No meat, no milk, no ... well, she got eggs, but do you think I got to have any? No. Mama got stuff she calls healthy food to do with her recipes and her menu.

(3) she started pulling out bowls and flower and I've never seen flower look like this before. I tried to sniff it, and all I got for my trouble was powder up my nose and I gagged and coughed. Mama was not pleased that I stuck my face in the flower.

(4) she cut and make strings out of vegetables and put them in the bowl and then she mixed it and then put it in a pan and called it bread. I've never seen bread look like this. She calls it "zucchini" but I think its something better left for the guinea pigs to eat!

(5) lastly, my mama doesn't bake. She also doesn't cook much, if anything. So who is this lady who is now baking and cooking and making a mess with flower that's not flower and putting guinea pig food in a bread?

At least she grunted and groaned and complained about the entire process. That sounds like my mama!

Now I only need to get this new mama to take over the old mama's schedule of cuddling, hugging, kissing, and worshiping me every morning after breakfast. This new mama is also doing reading and exercising and other stuff that I'm not allowed to do.

If you see my mama, would you send her back? I really miss the old one!

I Love the Rain

I know, I wouldn't normally say such a thing, but the pouring rain worked to my advantage today!

Did I say pouring? That is just not a strong enough word. It was more like a hole was ripped into the fabric of heaven that holds the water in place and there was so much of it that it just all came down at once - for a long time.

Mama's muscles still hurt but she's moving better so today was animal day. She cleaned out our litter boxes (thank cat for that - she was 4 days overdue because she got hurt!) and then she cleaned the guinea pig condos and let them run around while she did it. Then she had two trash bags ready for the dumpster.

Mama was not about to drag those two huge bags of trash (the trash piled up too) in the rain that was coming down so hard you almost couldn't see out the windows, so she put the bags in the corner of the kitchen.

Mama went to see the eye vet and she came home and it was still raining dogs and critters.

When it was time to feed us supper, Mama gave each of us the other halves of our cans of food. She put the cans in the open trash bag.

Then she went to the church meeting where they pray. She was gone for a couple hours.

This is why I love the rain so much. If it wasn't for the rain, the trash bags would have gone to the dumpster right away, and then Mama wouldn't have put the empty cans in the open trash bag and left it right where we could reach! I pulled both cans out of the trash and I gave one to Sebastian. Well, that's what I wanted him to think. Truthfully, I can only eat from one can at a time, so after he'd licked to his content, I went over and double licked the can just to be safe. I also thoroughly enjoyed licking my can!

Mama came home and took a shower and it was only after she got out of the shower that she realized something was wrong. I got a little too aggressive with my licking and I banged the can on the floor. That's when Mama's hearing radar went into overdrive and she came around the corner growling "Kenzie! Get out of whatever it is you're in!" She looked around but couldn't see anything because she's got to wear an eye patch right now. She did find both cans, and growled to herself for being so silly.

I don't mind her being silly! I hope she does it again tomorrow!

We Live for Doctors

Mama hurt herself on Friday. She turned just right and pulled muscles in her chest and her left arm. Now her body is going numb and she can't pick us up.

I am very unhappy about this!

I wish Mama would go see her doctor about this business. The last time she got hurt in her muscles, she lost her job and really hasn't been back to work since then.

Mama says "what is the doctor going to do that he's not already done before?" and complains that with her eyes bothering her she's got to go see that doc and with Sebastian scrubbing his butt all over the floor she's got to somehow figure out how to haul him to the vet and since my ears are bothering me she says I'm gonna need my ears cleaned (what did she say? I can't hear her! She better not have said going to the vet!) and she doesn't have money for all of this.

Silly Mama. If she didn't go to the doctor and insist on taking us to the vet, then she could save money! Doesn't this make sense to you?

I can clean my ears just fine, thank you very much! I dig at them several times a day and even Sebastian helped me clean them yesterday. Yeah I know they smell but don't worry, everything is under control.... I'll dig out those itchies eventually - either that, or I'll draw blood....

Ode to Jasmine, 2000-2008

Mama is feeling sad tonight for church friends, who are dad and mom to Jasmine. Mama used to dog sit Jasmine when they'd go away for an overnight.

Today they had to have Jasmine PTS. Mama is so sad for them.

Jasmine has been behaving strangely lately, and they don't know why. The vet said she was doing well at her last yearly check up.

Jas' pawrents are Nonnie and Nana to two-year-old Connor, and they get him overnight Friday and bring him to church every Saturday because Connor's mom works Saturday morning.

Jasmine didn't really mind having Connor around until Connor started walking and moving around. Jasmine was getting jealous, and if Connor touched her, she'd nip at him. Once she barely missed his eye.

Ten days ago Connor climbed in his nonnie's lap and didn't quite get up. He fell off one leg and landed on Jasmine, who reached right up and bit and tore Connor's ear.

Connor and his family spent several hours at the human hospital getting his ear stitched, and he was totally freaked out and upset. Because it was a dog bite after he touched the dog and not totally unprovoked, Jasmine's life was initially spared. She had to be on a rabies guarantee, so no matter what decision was made, she couldn't be "disposed of" until today.

Because of Jasmine's overall disposition of late, her pawrents made the very painful decision to have Jasmine PTS this afternoon. They debated for days and hours about what they should do, and they felt this was the best decision, even though it breaks their hearts.

Mama is sad for them too, because Jasmine has always been a good dog; she's just extremely protective of her pawrents. She once tried to intimidate my pupah, Mama says, but she never tried to bite or hurt him. Mama says that Jasmine has this silly habit of taking her freshly-filled kibble bowl, tip it onto the floor, and bark at it, dancing around it, and making sure it didn't go anywhere before she ate it. Mama tells me the first time she took care of Jasmine, she couldn't figure out what she was doing or what was wrong - Mama thought she gave Jas the wrong food!

I asked Mama if Jas' pawrents had thought about giving her away, but she said they asked that their decision be respected and that animal control was also keeping an eye on the situation. Mama says they did consider this but they didn't want a potentially dangerous situation to get out of hand. If Jasmine hadn't tried to snap and bite Connor in the past, they wouldn't have made this decision.

So tonight we purr for Jas' family as they mourn her loss, and purr that little Connor isn't totally afraid of dogs for the rest of his life. Mama will miss you!

Mama's New Machine

Monday is Mama's day to travel to Portland and do city errands. She usually leaves mid morning, and today was no different.

When Mama only goes for her doctor visit, she comes home about mid afternoon, like today. This is prime beg-for-supper time, even though Mama has this horrific rule about no cat or pig or another other four-legged creature in the house having supper before 5PM. Evil rule, I know.

Today she comes home and immediately takes out the trash - she forgot to do that before she left and oh my - it was getting smelly! Mama came back from the dump box with a box just big enough for me to climb in and have fun! It never occurred to me to look over and see what Mama took out of the box.

Mama sat on her bed for a while and when she stood up, she went to the kitchen and - lo and behold - she took out our food containers! Wowsers! This was totally unexpected, as I said, so Sab and I were all over her like bees to flowers. We meowed and I twirled; the guinea pigs got excited and started squealing and wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeking from their condos.

However, it was soon very obvious to me that she had no intentions of feeding us. Instead, she was sticking words on the containers! Sab was intrigued so he got closer for a look. I am not allowed on the counters, so Mama doesn't let me get that close. She says Sab can because he stays on the stool next to the counter and behaves himself. (Sab? Behave? Those two words don't belong in the same sentence!) He reported back that the words said things like "Hairball - Kenzie" and "k/d - Sab" on them and she was putting the labels on both sides of the container. Then Mama started putting different labels on the containers. They said "1/4 cup AM & PM".

I rubbed on Mama's legs extra hard to figure out what she was doing. She told me that she wanted our food clearly labeled so (1) she wouldn't forget because we've got different and special diets these days, and (2) if she was ever not able to come home and feed us, the pet sitters would know what and how much to feed us.

Next time Mama walked to the living room, I followed behind. What was this business about labeling things now after all this time? I hopped on the bed and that's when I saw this computer keyboard thing in the middle. It's a really cool keyboard because its got a screen with it and red buttons and blue buttons and white buttons and round buttons and square buttons and a big pushy button on the side. Mama typed some stuff on the keyboard and - this was the really cool part - this strip started buzzing out of the side of the keyboard! Mama pushed that pushy button and the strip fell onto the bed.

I immediately leaned over to sniff it. It smelt funny. It said "2T food per pig AM". Then another one fell out! Mama carried one of the labels to the kitchen and reached for one of our food containers... but that looked like the guinea pig food! Mama said that their extra food was in a container just like ours so she put feeding directions on that, too.

I just have one complaint. Why did she have to put a serving size on my container? I'd much rather the sitters not know how much I get and just top the bowl off!

Caught Again!

Mama says she's been really bad about her eating lately because she hasn't officially gone grocery shopping with a shopping list in weeks. Since she didn't have much of anything in the apartment, she went to the store this afternoon and she came back with deli cheese!

Oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy my mouth waters just thinking about it.

Unfortunately, Mama had other ideas on what to do with the cheese ends she got at the deli. She made mac & cheese with it and apparently had decided that I was not allowed to have any. Do you see where I'm going with this?

Mama went back to the living room to eat, leaving the pan with some left over on the counter. She was too preoccupied with watching weather radar and something us being in a tornado watch till 7PM and really, really bad weather in New Hampshire. I could smell something special, something delish, so I hopped on the counter.

Wowsers - that's when I found mac & cheese in the pan on the counter. Oh wow - I didn't know where to start! I had the entire rim of the pan to lick! I leaned over to lick the side with the most cheese on it, but that's when I made my mistake. That part of the pan was furthest away from me, and when I leaned over the pan to lick, I jiggled the metal hook hanging from the pan handle.

I immediately heard Mama get out of her chair and head for the kitchen. YIKES! I wanted that cheese but not that bad! I was leaping off the counter just as Mama turned the corner and saw me.

"KENZIE! You know better!" she growled at me. She then came over and took the pan and threw the rest of it away! She swears that she could see where I had eaten noodles and she wasn't about to eat after me. I don't like being accused of everything. After all, if I had eaten noodles, don't you think I would have hawked them up like a bad hairball like I do must every other thing I eat and shouldn't?

Case closed as far as I'm concerned! I'm innocent!

Mama Loves Wally?

Mama went to run errands yesterday and she came home carrying on about someone named Wally. Last I knew that's a guy's name, and Mama didn't have a special guy in her life, so I got suspicious: who did Mama meet that got her all excited and wound up?

Then it hit me: Mama must be talking about Catster-famous Wally Wallingford who was once so popular he was named Cat of the Week. That couldn't have been it, either, because Mama wasn't gone long enough to pay Wally a visit, and besides, I don't want to think about Mama loving on another CAT!

Soon Mama was talking to Auntie Becky about Wally and a movie. This certainly wasn't making any sense to me, and she wasn't talking to me about it. Finally I just had to know: who is Wally?

No, no, no, Mama says. WALL-E is a robot, not a cat, and he is in a movie that she went to see yesterday. Mama says the same people who made the WALL-E movie made Finding Nemo.

Did she say Finding Nemo? I LOVE Finding Nemo! I exactly where Nemo lives. He's not lost; he's in the TV and ooooooooooooh how I'd love to get my paws on him! Mama turns it on and he floats by on the screen along with his fish buddies and I just can't turn away. I want to eat them! Unfortunately, now that Mama put the TV on top of her desk I can't reach Nemo and his fish friends. How ever will I tap the screen with the TV up so high?

Anyway, while I was dreaming of Nemo, Mama was telling me that WALL-E should run for public office, and that he'd make a better choice than the other ya-whos running for office these days. She even found someone who agreed with her! Mama says it is just such a terrific movie and any human who has the chance needs to see it. She told me not to worry; she'd buy it and bring it home as soon as it is on DVD. She said it had her laughing and crying by the time it was over, and there wasn't all that much talking, either.

My biggest worry is that she thinks WALL-E is better than the video that I just starred in and you can see right here on Catster. "I love you more than any dirty robot," Mama says and she picked me up and hugged me and kissed me and cuddled me.

That's it. As long as Mama's adoring me and bowing to my wishes, I have nothing to fear, and everything is OK in my world.

New Video Release Starring: ME!

I can't believe it; when did Mama do it?

Today she showed me a video - a video! of me - me, of all cats - twirling and crying about, begging for food! I can't believe it! We don't even have a video camera!

How does she do this? Does she have a special setting on her new digital camera? Where else would be hide such a thing?

No matter; not only did she take a video of me begging for food (I should remember her taking video because she wasn't feeding me on my demand!), but she put it here on Catster for all of you to see! If you really pay attention, you can also hear me meowing at the very beginning, and you'll see Sebastian's paws near the top of the frame because he was waiting for his food while perched on the pet carrier. He likes to sit there a lot.

I guess its better than being in a video with a Big Papi or a Sen. McCain. You couldn't turn on the TV today without hearing about those two guys. Both of them where in town today. Big Papi just wants to play baseball but he's hurt so he's hanging out in Portland this week to get better. That McCain fellow wants to run the country and he came here to get people to pay gazoodles of dollars to pay for his trip and tell all of us why we should vote for him.

Pursonally, I don't think either of those fellas look as good in their videos as I do in mine. The best part is, I won't make you pay me money in order to see it! Mine is free for the viewing.

You can, if you are inclined, leave some rosettes or other gifts. I would never turn away a treat or a gift! MO L

We Need Help Re-Homing a Cat - Quickly!

Mama got a call from a friend of hers this morning and she's so upset because she needs to get rid of her cat. Mama's been working with her friend to help this placement go through, but that's not going to work any longer.

We need the power of Catster to help Sabrina find a new home! I gave the entire story to the Forums, so please stop by the Shelters, Rescuing, and Fostering Forums (this is a direct link) for the full story and ideas & ways you have to help.

Catster has been so awesome for so many - now its time to help a fellow calico!

Mama made Sabrina her own adoptable Catster page - stop by and say hello to her!

Has it Really Been Two Years?

We just can't believe it. Only two years? Feels like forever, and feels like just yesterday. How does that happen?

We never questioned how good a life we had when Mama rescued us and made us part of her family. As the organizer lady said: "there's no doubt who runs this house!" She loves us, and hugs us, and kisses us, and feeds us, though never enough of any of it to make us totally pleased. Although she drags us to the vet often, and we'd rather dig her eyeballs out over that, we've got to admit that, well, she really does love us and want the best for us. After all, we've seen her cry big crocodile tears when we had our cancer scares.

So we had no idea we were missing anything in life until Mama mentioned in passing that she found this place on the spider web where cats could have their own pages and make friends. She read about it in one of her news sites that Mama calls "Newsweek" and, since it was for cats, that made it totally OK in her book.

That's the story of how we found Catster, and what a wonderful two years it's been! We have found such kindred spirits here and the best cats and humans you could possibly ever meet. Nowadays we just can't begin or end a day without checking up on our friends and finding out who's done what, who needs special attention, and meowing about the weather, our favorite sports teams and players, our troops, our favorite foods, finding someone to support us in our cat fights (Sab, haven't you had the keyboard long enough????), expert cat opinions on what might be ailing us, support for cats who need rescuing, the latest pet food recall news (the most evil thing to ever happen to cats, if you ask Mackenzie), and how to deal with chronic problems like thyroids and asthma. We've cried over the losses of beloved furiends, and rejoiced at the arrivals of best friends to come. When Mama was feeling super sick and unwell, our cat furiends and their humans cheered her up and helped her feel a litter better - way better than we cats could ever do. We've so trained Mama in "cat speak" that she finds herself saying "pawsome!" and "furiends" out loud in front of other people who look at her strangely (we really wish we could see their faces when that happens... Mama says its funny) and, last but not least, Catster has taught Mama a lot about codes and how to "build" pages on the spider web! (Wait.... is the spider moving? I've gotta chase it! Sab, please finish our tribute!)

Mama frowned at places she calls "social networking sites" but has no problem telling people that Catster sucked her in so quickly and quietly that she never saw it coming and she can't believe she actually spends money without question on such a thing!

Anyway, what we're really trying to say is that the last two years have been the best two years we cats (and the human) have had. Thank you to each and every cat and human who have made our time here so stupendous (that's Mama's big word and we have no idea what it means) and we're so looking forward to another year.

~Love,
Mackenzie & Sebastian

PS: hey Mama... while we're thanking everyone, how about you thank HQ and buy us the super bundle of zealies? Love, Sab