Cleaning Up After Mama

This morning Mama was roaming around in the kitchen when I heard her call us. "Kenzie! Sab! Come here!" she called out.

Mama + kitchen + being called = pay dirt!

Sab got there before me. I found him staring at the orange-yellow stuff on the floor. Mama pointed to it and said "Kenzie, have a bite!"

I didn't need to be told twice! I sniffed it - score! It was an egg and its shell! I lapped at the egg for a moment before backing away so Sab could have a bite.

He didn't seem to appurciate the egg so much, so I muscled my way to the expanding egg to lick at it some more.

Apparently Mama had an accident and "plop" went her breakfast on the floor before she could even cook it! Eggs are most definitely not part of my new "must loose weight" diet but who am I to question the food that falls from heaven?

Ooooooooooooooh it was so delightful, until Mama wiped it off the floor. I wanted her to leave it, but she mumbled something about "un level floors" and "running across the kitchen" so bye-bye when my egg!

Goodbye to Socks

Mama tells me that Socks died on Friday. I am so sad.

Mama and I loved to hear and read stories about Socks when he was living in that big, white house at the capital with the president purson. Even though he was black and white, I thought he was a handsome boy. If he only had some brown in him, like me, he'd have been purfect! MOL

Socks was a grand Olde Furt, though. He lived to be 20 years old, and he caught the cancer. Silly Socks; that's not a good thing to catch.

So purrs today for Socks and his families. Thank you for all the stories, Socks.

I Failed My Test!

Mama says that Dr. Diana called her while she was at the grocery store this afternoon. (Mama is forgiven; she brought home a CHOCOLATE BOX for me to play inside!) Dr. Diana told her that my stolen blood told her my garnish is way too much and that I have to cut back on it.

Cut back on my liquid chicken garnish? Oh that is so sad. Mama says "no its not" because it is what has helped me to get so fat.

Oh. No, that's not good.

Mama says she assured Dr. Diana that I'm being normal in all my other ways, so I don't have to give them more blood and I don't have to go back for more poking and prodding.

Phew!

Is This Week Over?

Things have been crazy here!

First, Mama comes home on Tuesday with this white mat thing and she puts it in front of the #2 litter box. I have tried to move it, but its not going anywhere. Mama says its to trap the litter that Sab and I kick out of the box. She says its to help keep the litter out of her bed. I don't like it there. I've tried to move it, and its not going anywhere. I'm going to have to keep working on it.

Second, Mama starts taking all the furniture out of the living room and putting it in the kitchen. She moves my food bowl. She took away the glider and her desk chair. She stole all the room in the kitchen. She even put the bunny cage in the kitchen and Chocolate had to sleep there.

Then, Mama brings in this big, huge, vacuum machine. She put water in it, and then she vacuumed. But this vacuum machine made the carpet all wet! Mama went over and over the carpet and when she was done, the carpet smelt much better, but it was wet. I had to step on a wet carpet to get to the bed. I did not like this and I showed my disdain by shaking my wet paws at Mama. She thought it was funny!

Thirdly, Mama gets us all excited when she pulls the bunny cage down yesterday morning, puts Chocolate in his carrying box, and out the door they went. Oh it was such a good feeling...

until Mama came home with the same white box, but then she set up a different looking cage and then she pulled out a black bunny. Chocolate is a white bunny with dark circles on his eyes. This is a small bunny. Mama says her name is Shortie and she's a dwarf who has a bad attitude. Mama says we're going to love that bad attitude out of her while she takes her medicine for an infection.

This is all good and fine, except that this morning, after Mama put the furniture back in the living room, she pulled out the pet carrier, put me inside, and took me outside in the freezing coldness! What a dirty trick! Mama took me to see Dr. Diana for my semi-annual exam.

I was not about to cooperate. I growled and howled at Carol. She wasn't worried about that at all. She just took the top of my carrier off so I'd come out! Well, I'm not stupid. She put the lid on the floor, next to the carrier, so I just raced out of the bottom and went under the top. She can't get me now! This made Mama and Carol laugh - can you imagine? So Dr. Diana comes in and they take off the lid and they put me on the scale and everyone gasps and starts saying nasty things about me.

Yeah, I know I'm fat. It's just not anyone's business to get upset and tell each other that I weigh 18 pounds and that's bad and I need to be on a diet right away! Dr. Diana got pursonal and poked me and listened to me. She says my lungs are raspy but she thinks that's because I weigh too much. How rude is she... specially since both she and Mama could stand to loose a few, too, and they even said so!

And then... Carol stuck me with two needles! One was for my rah-babies and other one was to steal my blood. I was NOT about to cooperate! She gave up and had to poke my back paw instead of my neck. No way I was gonna let her touch my neck with that needle!

Dr. Diana thinks I've been getting too much thyroid medicine, and that's why I'm getting fat. We shall see...

To top it all... Mama left me there to go to the store! She said it was a good thing she did, because after she left the clinic, she discovered she had a flat tire and had to fix it. I suppose that's a good idea; the car was cold inside!

I'm home now and I'm supervising the new bun hop around the room and check things out. Mama hopes that with the freshly-cleaned carpet, she won't smell any more bunny pee and keep peeing on the carpet!

I'm on my way to the bed; the sun is resting there. At least that is warmer than the air!

Late Night Prowls

Mama went to work at the shelter yesterday. Tonight her back really hurts. So Mama gets up to sit up straight.

I go snooping... mostly hoping that she'll not pay attention and feed us in the middle of the night! That's when I find a note that fell out of her pocket. It says:

Mackenzie
2/6
9:30
no fast

I don't know what it means, but I have a really bad feeling about this!

Bunny Chase!

Oh you won't believe it!

This morning! When Mama went into the shower! She had to shower; it was going-to-shelter morning and she also had to go to the doc so they could steal her blood before eating. Doctors are so mean! Oopps, sorry... as I was saying...

So anyway... Mama was in the shower! It was still dark in here!

I was waiting for Mama, right in front of the shower.

I turned around and was so stunned. Chocolate, the foster bunny, was sitting right next to me! He's supposed to be in his cage!

I got up and ran to the kitchen. Chocolate hopped along behind me and followed me!

I turned around and ran into the living room. Chocolate was right behind me, almost on my tail.

Mama got out of the shower just as Chocolate and I ran past the bathroom.

"Chocolate! What are you doing out?" Mama called out. "HOW did you get out? Mama was drippy wet; she couldn't save me!

I got on the bed... its hard getting up there these days.

Chocolate stayed on the floor. I inspected his cage. The door was wide open! I don't know how he did it! I think he went to the same school as Henri, our Houdini hamster, did!

Mama dashes out of the bathroom! Her hair is drippy! WATER! YIKES! I run away. Mama touches Chocolate. He doesn't want to be picked up. He runs to his cage.

Mama closes the door and locks it.

I don't know about you, but that's just waaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much work for 6 am in the morning!

She Caught Me!

Dang!

My reputation has been ruined.

Mama caught me... laying down next to Chocolate! Mama says she's never seen me be nice and so close to any of the foster bunnies before.

I thought I heard her. I looked up and saw Mama peeking around the glider chair, where I was lounging, protecting my carpet scratching board from lagomorph invasion, I must add and Chocolate was a mere foot away, happily chewing the hay in his outside-the-cage litter box.

Well... it was Mama and she was looking at me... what else was there to do? Get up and greet her, naturally! So I did. That's when I realized what I had done.

"Oh my goodness Mackenzie you make Mama SO PROUD OF YOU! I knew you'd grow to love that Chocolate. Mama is so proud of you!" and on and on she carried. Then she had to call and tell Memere.

So, as you see, my reputation is ruined.

Oh my cat I just has the most horrific thought. What is Mama twists this to mean that Chocolate will need to live with us forever and become an official part of the family? What have I done?!

Where Did that Lost Pound Go?

Mama and I have a serious problem: we've both gained weight. Mama says its not my fault; says its my thyroid medicine making me fat. I wonder what her excuse is?

Mama says that since I am eating about the same amount of food as before (please don't tell her I've been pushing Sab away from his bowl!) but I've really porked out, we need to do something about it.

I really didn't notice the changes at first. After all, I was severely distracted by having bunny poo in my bowl! Serious - that's what it looked like! It was almost the same color; exactly the same shape. It didn't smell like bunny poo, and it certainly didn't taste like bunny poo. Mama called it "catviar" and said it was from her secret sister at church.

I wasn't touching it. Sab wasn't touching it, either. Just looked too much like.... bunny poo! Even Mama thought so!

Then Mama mixed it in with Sab's kidney food and it was an entirely different food. Wowsers it was wonderful! Mama's decided to keep me on Sab's kidney food. Mmmmmmm

The other thing Mama did behind my back without me realizing it was she's scheduled more play time in my day. Naturally I didn't complain! Chasing that green boa is just the most fun thing in the world. I will admit that its hard to do with my plump frame. It kinda squeezes the air out of me so we don't do it for a long time.

I don't know if its helping, but Mama says I didn't give her my "cut off meow" when she picked me up this morning. She's worried that picking me up cuts off my air supply. She'd better not stop giving me attention in the morning because of this!

Stalker Cat

I am being forgotten! Mama's pushing me out of her life! I am being asked to move! I won't have it!

So, yeah, I've been stalking her. Anywhere she is, that is where I will be. I want attention! I want to be reinstated as top pet in this house! When she goes to the litter box, I go with her. When she goes to the kitchen, I get up and greet her. I throw myself at her feet and she walks over me. I don't understand!

Mama won't let me sleep by her pillow at night anymore. She says I take up too much space in the bed. She won't let me stay in my spot anymore. Mama will bend down and pet me but she won't hold me.

I just want her attention again. Is that too much to ask for?

Tonight, though, Mama did pick me up. She brought me to the bed before she dropped me. I don't understand why she won't hold me! She scratched my head and gave me tons of kisses and rubbed my chin. Oh, attention feels so good!

Mama says she's sorry she can't let me sleep there with her anymore. Since she's been going to the doc to fix her shoulders, they discovered she's got ribs out of place and other stuff and she's in a lot of pain. She's got to sleep with pillows, she said, and with my trying to sleep across the bed, she can't keep her body straight and she has no place for pillows. She says its hard to pick me up because I've gained so much weight, and it hurts her to bend over. She says she still loves me tons and that she'd never replace me with Chocolate, the foster bun, and she wouldn't let Sebastian ever have my place, and Bijou and Monet could never be me. She says I've got nothing to worry about.

What? Well since I don't have to worry about her not loving me, what are we going to do about her ribs?

She Forgot!

Mama poured kibble in my bowl this morning and walked away. Can you imagine? How am I supposed to eat my kibble without my thyroid garnish squirted on top?

I just couldn't eat it. I waited and waited. No matter how hard I wished, no garnish was squirted on my kibble. Sebastian had already inhaled his kibble and was circling around my bowl. What's a cat to do?

Go complain to Mama, what's what a cat does. I found her scooping that green kibble junk into Chocolate's bowl. What a funny bunny he is when food is around! He hops out of the cage and zips around Mama like she's a race track. He head butts the container and her hand and the bowl and then hops around in a circle in his crate until she puts the bowl with the green kibble junk in his crate. I gave Mama a couple head butts of my own and Mama knew exactly what the problem was.

"Uh oh, Kenzie; Mama forgot your medicine!" she put the lid on the bunny kibble and followed me to the kitchen... where Sab was now inhaling my kibble and trying to bury it with the placemat. Ugh that boy is so irritating!

Mama shooed him away and put the garnish on my kibble. Oh thank cat for chicken garnish! I must leave a note for Mama to make sure she gets me more of that wonderful garnish, because I noticed the bottle is almost empty.

Mama then goes and ruins my morning by saying she's not filling it under she calls the vet to schedule my next blood stealing event. That's the bad part about eating fancy stuff squirted on your kibble. I'd rather keep my blood to myself!