I'm a poet.

Yup, I'm a poet. 'Dopted Daddy had to write a poem for school, so I gave him some help. This was the result

“Go to my happy place” they say.

I don’t mind, I could stay there all day!

That great little corner in my mind,

Where the substance of cool men I find:

Blood, guts, muddy road ruts,

The stuff of which I dream.

Dead gophers and mice, equipped with head lice,

The stuff that makes the girls scream.

Chili and jerky, gristly raw turkey,

And no stinking peaches and cream.

A great big shotgun, and Attila the Hun,

He and I would make a great team.

In public I burp, out loud do I slurp,

My coffee, boiling with steam.

I flex in the mirror, it causes mice fear,

So much that they pop a seam.

I fight in the morn, just like Jason Bourne.

Who beats people as he may deem.

I never see florists, I flex like Chuck Norris,

For Cool Man is my theme.

Way Too Easy

Some big monster machine thing just cut the hay out in the field by our place. Those mice and little ground squirrels are in a panic out there. Way too easy to catch them. No challenge at all. I go out, catch one, come in to the garage, eat it, go out, catch another, come in to the garage, eat it, go out... you get the idea. Man, I'm stuffed.
On another note. Me and my sisters usually go into the garage at night. The other night I wanted to stay out and do some midnight hunting. So I didn't come in with the girls when the door got shut.
Now we've got a lot of critters around here that wander at night. We've got deer, fox, hawks, owls, raccoons and coyotes to name a few. The other night, them coyotes were a howling for all they were worth. They were close too. It was loud. Now, I was not scared. I was taking care of the house. So when the door opened first thing in the morning, there I was, on the doorstep, protecting the place. I was not scared of those coyotes.

Open Season

In my neck of the woods, it's hunting season! The weather is warming up and all the little furry critters are starting to wake up from sleeping in their dens and burrows. And I'm ready for them!
There are ditch banks to scout and gopher holes to poke my nose into. I'm at it from the time the garage door opens about 06:15 until late o'clock when I have to go back into the garage for the night. Keeps a guy busy. But hey, I love my job!
Man, we even had a pigeon stop by over the weekend! He would have been a tasty treat. I could not reach him where he was roosting. I can not climb up metal posts! Drat.
Better get back to it. Just taking a quick break before I head back out.
Meow ya later.

An unexpected brushin'

Yo everyone. Several days ago, my 'dopted parents brought me inside. Now this was weird. When I was little, I used to try to come in all the time, but I grew out of it. I hadn't been in for a long time.
Well, it turned out they were going to brush me. They brought me in and laid me down on the floor (my cat sisters will tell you I looked like a big blob). They started brushing me. I found out I did have a lot of mats in my hair, but they took them out. I think the mats make me look manly and I tried to tell my parents, but they didn't listen. I managed to get away once and escaped downstairs, but 'dopted Daddy came and brought me back. They finished brushing me finally and put me outside. I guess I might as well tell you that later that day I tried to get back inside! I just had a quick regression to my early days.
One last thing, 'dopted Daddy was looking at me while I was going downstairs and saw that I am just really massive. I'm about as wide as I am tall! I say it's muscle and my long fur but 'dopted Mommy says it's hair and something else...
Well, that's it! See ya later!

Wow, what an honor!

I was so excited when I came online this morning and found out my hunting journal had been picked as Diary of the Day! Thank you Catster!

The past few days I've been catching mostly smaller prey-mice, ground squirrels. I'm saving my energy so I can catch some big game. I'm thinking maybe a moose or an elk. Big 'Dopted Mommy tells me that I shouldn't try to catch a moose, it's too big, but I know I can handle it.

Big 'Dopted Daddy and 'Dopted Daddy are going to a hunting class this week. I want to go with them. I could teach everyone a few things. Heh heh. They said I have to stay home, though. Drat.

Some of my hunting experiences

I thought I'd talk about some of my hunting experiences. Not to brag, but I think they're rather impressive. Just a warning-this journal entry contains some rather gross descriptions. It is not for the faint of heart.

Once I caught a huge bunny in a field near our house. It was heavy, but I was able to manage it. I drug that thing back to the house. My sisters were just staring-they were in awe of my amazing catch. I was getting ready to play with the bunny but there was one problem-it wasn't dead yet. It was kicking and stuff. I wasn't sure what to do, so I stepped back a little. I was just deciding to brave the dangerous thrashing legs and go back in when Big 'Dopted Mommy came out and took the bunny away! I didn't ever see it again. I'm not sure what happened to it.

Another time I caught a muskrat down near the river and brought it back to the house. That thing was big! I was eating it on my patio near the house. Big 'Dopted Mommy and 'Dopted Daddy came out to see what I had, they couldn't believe the size of that thing! They even took a couple of pictures. I ate almost all of that thing-it was very filling!

Once I caught a seagull. I tried to take it back to the house, but couldn't manage to get it though the fence-the bird was too big. So I ate it out there. The feathers tasted strange.

I've also caught more mice than I can count, and several gophers.

Well, I've got to get back to hunting!