Wow. It's been ages since I wrote anything here. The trouble is, my paws are too big for the computer keys, so if I try and type myself it ends up coming out as "fdong rhojoure nbj pnreap nj," so I rely on Lisy transcribing for me. And she's lazy. I keep trying to convince her to buy me a large-button keyboard so I can keep up this blogging without her help. She claims she's too poor - but you should see the amount she spends on stinky bubble baths and such.

Anyway, since I last wrote, I've been on holiday. I spent nearly three weeks in Clacton on Sea. Which is as dull as Lisy claims it is. Not that I really saw much of the town (other than out of the car window). I spent my holiday at her parents house. Which is biiiiiiiig.

The reason I got a holiday to Clacton was because Lisy took a holiday to California. I wanted to go too. Meanie not taking me. I get stuck in Clacton while she goes off and enjoys the sun. Not fair! She came home covered in freckles while all I got covered with was dust from under Nan and Grandad's bed.

I got to meet lots of new people. I met Lisy's Auntie Jill and her cousin Karen. I didn't like her cousin Kevin though. Her parents explained something about how Kevin was redecorating the hall. All I cared about was the fact that he came in every day and made lots of loud noises and strange smells (apparently that smell is called "paint").

But, Lisy's mum did get revenge on Lisy for not taking me with her. Nan Emailed Lisy and told her that I'd worked out how to open their bedroom door. What she didn't say was that the door doesn't have a catch on it, so all I had to do was push. Apparently the lack of this final bit of information sent Lisy into a panic for about 24 hours that I'd learned how to work door-handles.

I had fun, I got very spoiled (I love going and visiting those carnivores. I get fed real meat too. These stupid vegetarian owners who won't cook me anything and just give me cat food out of a can), and had loads of room to run around and play in.

It was nice to come "home" though. I missed my flat. It may be small, but it's my home and I love it. I also kinda missed Lisy, but I missed my flat more.

She brought me a present back from America - one of those laser pointer toys. Which is fun. It's most fun to play with in the bathroom, because that room doesn't have a window, so if the light's off, I can see that little red dot really clearly. When she first introduced me to it, I got so excited chasing it that I trod in my water bowl and got all wet. Which was *not* nice.

Remember how I told you that Lisy is scared of mice? Well, turns out she doesn't like spiders either. Last night I was playing with one in the lounge, and she just kept shrieking at me to "kill the damn thing before it comes over this side of the room!" So, I kept poking it to wind it up, hoping it'd run over there. In the end though I poked it a bit too hard and squashed it, so stuffed the dead spider body down the gap between two floorboards. She seemed satisfied with that and stopped squeaking.

Night kids.

Update

I did indeed get my revenge on Lisy for waking me up.

3am I decided to stamp on her face to get her to give me some attention.

She couldn't get back to sleep for the rest of the night and had to go to work on Tuesday looking like a panda with the big dark circles around her eyes. She looked very funny.

Oh yes, I am evil. But I have a very cute face which makes me utterly forgiveable.

Sleep deprivation.

Lisy's mean.

I was perfectly happy, sound asleep, curled up in a cute little ball on her beanbag.

All of a sudden I find myself in Lisy's arms, being carried into the lounge! How rude! I'd never do that to her. OK, I couldn't do that to her, my entire body weight is about the same as the weight of Lisy's head (I know I'm only skinny, but Lisy's not very bright. Her head is quite light), but, that's not the point...

Something about "Er, well, you sleep about 18 of every 24 hours. You've been asleep *all* day. If I don't wake you up now, you're going to keep me awake all night."

So?

I'm awake now, but I still fully intend to spend the entire night walking all over her and dribbling on her. In fact, as punishment for waking me up just now I may dribble just that little bit more.

Life, oh, life...

It's been a couple of months since I moved to London now, and it's all been quite adventurous.

A couple of weeks after I moved here I got tricked into getting into my box so Lisy could take me to the vet. Not a friendly act. They shoved a thermometer up my bum. I don't wanna go back there any time soon... the indignity of it all.

For Christmas we went to Lisy's parents house for a few days. It was lots of fun. I got fed real turkey. These vegetarian owners who don't know how to cook real meat so only ever give me stuff out of a can. Pah. Lisy's parents house is *huge*. It was so much fun to run around in all that much space. When I decided to be calm and chilled out, I found the hugeness to be a bit overwhelming, so I tended to hang out in Lisy's bedroom. But, the space I had to run around in when I was in a silly mode was so worth it.

It snowed while we were there. All these people outside on sledges looked fun, so I decided to get in on the action... I decided to try skidding across the lounge on the TV guide. It was all fun until I crashed into the pile of wrapping paper and empty boxes left over from the present unwrapping.

I got some presents. But the wrapping paper filled with catnip that they came in was much more fun.

When we came back to London, things got back to normal pretty quickly. When we came back though, Lisy moved my litter tray into the bathroom. I don't know why - I quite liked going for a poo in the corner in the lounge. Especially when I timed it to coincide with Lisy eating. The look on her face would be priceless. So, yes, this litter move into the bathroom thing did not impress me. I miaowed in protest, lots. It didn't make any difference. Lisy wouldn't move it back. Oh well. I've gotten used to it now though.

The biggest bit of excitement since Christmas was last week when I found a mouse in the house! And I killed it! Lisy came home from shopping, dumped her shopping down in the hall and went into the lounge to take her coat off. When she turned around, I'd parked myself on the doormat, next to the shopping so she couldn't miss me playing with my new toy that I'd killed all by myself. Lisy started screaming, and I don't think it was excitement for me. She ran and phoned her mother. The utter wimp. You should've heard the screams I managed to get out of her when I started throwing it up in the air to play catch with it... though, if you were in NW1 at the time, you probably did hear.

In the end, after she shooed me away from the mouse with her mop, Lisy threw my new toy out of the back door using the Christmas card her parents bought her (she insists only because it was the most usefully shaped item around). It did take her a while to pluck up the courage to get close enough to the mouse to get it with the card. Useless human wimp, it's not like it could hurt her, I'd already taken care of it!

My new home

It's been a week since I came to live with Lisy Babe.

I like it here. It's nice and warm, the sofa is comfy, Lisy loves giving me cuddles, and she's already trained to do my bidding.

Until I moved in, she always used to sit in the same spot on the sofa. That spot is mine now, ha! If Lisy sits there by mistake, she'll soon know about it. I have ways of making her move.

While Lisy is sweet and cuddly, she does sometimes shout at me. I don't know why... I'm only scratching. OK, so I'll be scratching at Lisy's bookcase, or her carpet. When she says my name in her "I'm not impressed" voice, she always says "that's what your scratch post is for." But, I don't like my scratch post. The bookcase and the carpet are much better.

I think Lisy wants to go to bed soon, she looks tired. I'll do what I've been doing every night. I'll wait until she's asleep, and, then, I'll sneak into bed next to her. That way I get a nice, comfy human bed too. The only thing is, I need to learn how to not fart in my sleep. The smell keeps waking Lisy up.

Night night.