Excuses

I had to have a stern talk with H. this morning. She has been very delinquent in transcribing my diary entries. When I confronted her, she had all kinds of excuses (new job, travel, gardening, etc.), which were rather weak. I gave her a hard look to let her know that the excuses won’t be tolerated anymore. She was very apologetic, but I’m not convinced.

I guess only time will tell.

The Ghost of Something Stupid

I was sitting with my sister in the hallway earlier tonight when she was possessed by the Ghost of Something Stupid. She began running around in circles chasing her own tail. That's right--her own tail! I was so embarrassed for her; I pretended like I didn't see her.

Eventually, though, I took pity on her and did what I'd want anyone else to do if that were ever me: I ran over and helped her catch her tail! It took us a couple of minutes but we finally caught it, and it defluffed itself and returned to its normal size.

Whew! A sister's work is never done.

Hands Off MY Bacon!

Last night I tried to help H. cook my bacon. She did not appreciate it.

When she was done eating MY bacon, she slumped over on the couch. She glanced in my direction and I saw a flicker of fear in her eyes before I pounced on her arm, bit her, and ran off. I hope that teaches her not to eat MY bacon anymore.

Get Out of My Bathroom & Keep Away From My Stolen Goodies!

The other day, after H. cleaned out MY litterbox, my sister had the nerve to try and use it! So I jumped in the litterbox with her and we both used it at the same time. Hilda did not like that at all. I hope that teaches her to stay out of MY litterbox. The other litterbox is the one that she and my brothers are supposed to use. MY litterbox is obviously meant for my use only. Hmph.

My siblings also need to stay away from my stolen goodies. If they want some, they can steal their own. I stole a lovely hard-boiled egg from H. the other night. She was making egg salad and didn't even notice me. I guess I must have started growling ("This is MINE--don't try and get it, H.!") after I grabbed the egg, because she turned and noticed that I had the egg. I bit down on the egg to secure my grip and the egg white fell off! Then H. chased me around the living room. I ate the egg yolk on the entryway carpet and H. was laughing too hard to do anything about it. Hilda and Elvin tried to get some of my yolk but I growled at them both.

Score Another One for Bags!

Lately, H. & A. have started calling me "Bags." Apparently I get little "bags" under my eyes in the evenings when I get tired. I think the name fits my siblings better. They all have flaps of skin that sway back and forth when they run. Not me! I keep my body trim and fit. I need it that way for my hit and run missions. The last couple of weeks have been good to me: I discovered that the pastry brush that H. and A. put in the dishwasher tastes good! Sometimes it will have olive oil on it, and other times it will taste like butter. I like to grab it in my mouth and run off down the hall with it so I can have my way with it behind one of the doors. Last week, H. caught me doing this and ran after me. She tried to grab it from me but I wouldn't let go; I even growled at her to stay way. It didn't work, though. Sigh. Now I'm banned from sitting on the dishwasher door.

Last night I scored some creme brulee. H. was so mad at me. She said I had no right to look so happy. She forgave me, though, because I'm too cute. That creme brulee was really yummy. It made me very sleepy. I can't wait to get more!

Fear Me!

When I growl, my people are supposed to fear me. That's right--fear me! No, don't laugh! Fear me!

Instead, they think I'm "cute" and say I have a "little girl growl". Whatever. This "little girl growl" keeps the other cats away when I'm eating their food!

The only problem is that it also alerts H. & A. to when I'm doing something that I'm not supposed to be doing (like stealing food from the other cats or the trash can). I don't even realize I'm doing it. It's just my way of saying, "Stay away! This is mine! Get your own--so I can take it!"

National Hero

H. just told me that I'm today's featured diary. I got so excited that I had to chase my brother (Elvin) around the house! A. said, "Wow, Hetty--you're a national hero! If only they could smell you!" He can be such a downer sometimes.

Sure, I smell bad right now, but whose fault is that?! Garp smells even worse. He had his entire body dunked in the sulfur solution. A. and H. tried that with me and they're now sporting several tattoos, courtesy of National Hero. They managed to get that smelly stuff on my legs but not on my torso. I hope A. & H. have learned their lesson. I love my humans but sometimes they can be a little...well, for lack of a better word....slow!

I am a hero, though! Thanks to my fine warrior skills, Elvin and Hilda avoided having to meet the evil sulfur bath solution. (Hetty Miep = 1; A. & H. = 0)

It seems like today should be a Spray free day, but I've already been squirted twice. I just wanted to help A. make the pancakes. Sure, I was going for a taste, but that's what the taste-tester does!

I've Been Picked!

I'm so excited I've been picked as one of today's diaries! It really makes up for yesterday.

Since H. and A. adopted me, I've had constant itching and it has spread to my sister and brothers. After numerous trips to our local vet, he recommended that H. and A. visit the dermatology specialist in Kansas City. The drive up was very long and I was scared, but my doctor was very nice. She thinks I have ringworm or kitty demodex. We have to wait a bit longer before we find out which. My brothers and sister are mad at me now. My doctor said we all have to get lime sulfur baths for the next six weeks. Yuck!

Spray: No Friend of Mine

H. has a new friend. She calls it Spray. Before Spray came into the house, I would jump on the kitchen counters and run off with my stolen contraband. I would hear A. or H. wailing in the background that I was "bad" but I didn't care. I also enjoyed terrorizing them while they ate. They never knew when "Quickpaw" might suddenly descend on their plates.

Now that Spray has arrived, the counter and plate raids have ended. It's not that I'm scared of Spray. Okay, maybe I'm a little scared of Spray. But it's only because Spray has such a quick temper!

Plants: 0; Hetty Miep: 1

Sometimes the plants try to steal my sunspot and I have to teach them their place. The potted succulent made a very loud crashing noise when I smacked it out of my way. Hopefully that will teach the others respect for MY spot.