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Toby's Diary

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I am never grumpy

April 14th 2016 11:08 pm
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Some days everyone is very annoying. That's their fault, not mine. That happened yesterday.

I came in as it was raining and found Josie on mum's lap, looking all smug, so I gave her the evil eye. Or at least I tried to. Mum put her hand in the way.

"Leave her be," she said, "I like her being there."

I lifted my head, mum raised her hand, I lowered my head, mum lowered her hand. It took quite a few attempts before I could catch Josie's eye and off she went.

See how annoying they are!


I was helping

April 12th 2016 10:22 pm
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Last week not much happened with my mum's job hunting. She said maybe people were on Easter holiday - and it looks like she was right. The phone rang a lot yesterday.

Luckily I was on hand to provide support. Whenever she was talking on the phone I meowed as loudly as I could, making sure they knew about my mum's better qualities.

She would bend down and pet me to keep me quiet. "Not everyone likes cats," she said. I'm pretty sure if they don't like cats my mum won't like them so I was really helping out.

Anyway she now has three interviews in the diary so hopefully it won't be long now.


Keeping track...

April 10th 2016 10:19 pm
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Yesterday my mum was out a lot, what with church and off dancing and then she went for a meal and we hardly saw her. That meant I missed out on a load of petting.

I don't forget a thing like that. At the end of the day I estimated I was a good thirty minutes short. Only one thing to do.

"Leave me be, I'm trying to sleep," she muttered.

"And I am trying to get my petting quotient," I replied. I got some half-hearted stroking. Good but I needed better. She tried to bury her face under the duvet but I could reach and engage paw-and-claw.

"Toby!" I have heard her sound happier but I was a cat on a mission. Her fault for not being there for me when I needed her earlier.

I didn't get my full thirty minutes but I wasn't going to let her sleep until I was happier. She should know by now, cats do not live by kitty biscuits alone.


Josie is still crazy

April 7th 2016 11:01 pm
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After a good night's sleep Josie is ready for anything and yesterday she was in full crazy cat mode, leaping and bouncing and running and making my mum laugh.

Then she was worn out so needed a good rest to recover, a good rest on her snuggle rug. But what had happened? That rug, normally spread out flat to accommodate all Josie's fluff was squished into a heap. Rather disgruntled Josie had to curl herself into a tiny round to fit on. She glared at the housekeeper.

Mum looked back at her. "And you know how it got like that?"

Josie looked blank.

"You dive-bombed it, only a few minutes ago. That's why it's all a mess," mum told her.

Josie remained pretty sure that it was mum's faults but cats, it has been well-documented, can sleep anywhere, so she buried her head in her paws and set off for dreamland.


Sometimes I like Josie

April 6th 2016 11:18 pm
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Yesterday evening Josie was sitting on my mum's lap, all contentedly warm and asleep. I was curled up next to them and everyone was relaxed and happy.

Until Josie suddenly got up and stalked to the other end of the sofa and sat bolt upright, staring at my mum like she had never seen her before. She kept this up for about half an hour. It was hilarious.

At first my mum was all, "What did I do?" and then she got more and more uncomfortable. She was looking at the TV and then glancing back to see Josie's unwavering stare. "Stop doing that!"

Extreme unease for my mum; harmless entertainment for us cats; a simple idea brilliantly executed. That will teach my mum to fob us off with own label biscuits. For yes, we are still expected to work our way through these.


A clear out

April 4th 2016 10:36 pm
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Yesterday there were lots of cats in my garden which is just wrong. One of them came right up to the window and was singing to Josie who was meowing right back at him.

This is hardly ladylike behaviour.

I helped my mum clear out her wardrobe. "I don't know what the dress code will be once I get a job," she said, "But some of these work clothes are really old and tatty. They have to go."

"You know what else is really old and tatty?" I asked, "That tortie cat."

Josie had seemed so much better mum let the Feliway run out so Josie has started balding herself again and she was old when I was a kitten. "Old and tatty. She has to go."

Mum gave me that look. She loves Josie so we have fresh Feliway and Josie did not go out with the old suits and I have to keep sharing.


Defending my territory

April 3rd 2016 10:43 pm
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I had a fight yesterday. That Maurice from next door has been coming in my garden and he's been killing frogs. Those frogs are put there for everyone to enjoy so he shouldn't be taking them.

Strong words were spoken, fur raised, teeth and claws engaged - I had him on the run when my mum came out. Maurice took advantage of the distraction and slipped away into his own garden.

"I was winning," I pointed out.

"No-one wins when cats get bitten and he's only a youngster," said my mum.

I started to explain but it was hard through my mouthfuls of his fur. Mum said she could see where he had dislodged my fur too and she hoped she had intervened before either of us had done the other an injury. I don't think she understands the purpose of a fight.

I don't often get into fights but sometimes a cat's got to do what a cat's got to do!


My fur

March 31st 2016 10:07 pm
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Yesterday morning I had a tickly cough. Mum was looking at me. "Poor Toby," she said.

I looked longingly at her cereal bowl. "I expect a nice drink of milk will help," I told her. When she had finished she let me have some milk and it did indeed help.

"I reckon it's a fur ball. You need a really thorough brushing," mum said.

Just the one little cough and what a result! Milk and a brush. I love to be brushed. Mum was as good as her word and fairly soon I was Purr Central as the brush ran through my fur.

Mum took handfuls of fur out of the brush which just proves how neglected I have been.

Then up came Josie. Moments later - "What are you eating?" asked my mum. Then, "Josie! No! Don't eat Toby's fur." For that is what Josie had taken a fancy to chewing on.

That tortie is getting more and more peculiar. I wouldn't have thought such a thing was possible.


Fearlessly brave

March 30th 2016 10:30 pm
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Yesterday my mum did some sorting out, mostly helped by Josie. I could hear them. Mum saying, "Please don't climb in the drawer Josie, that isn't helpful."

I joined in when my mum started on our kitty treat drawer - the emptiest drawer in our home. We only have about twelve bags in there. Mum wanted to sort them all by expiry date and check what was open etc. and "What's that tucked behind the drawer?"

She pulled the whole drawer out to reveal a previously unsuspected pack of meaty sticks. Oh yes - I never understood mum's sorting outs before but this was indeed a marvelous find.

She examined it. "How long has that been there?" Then, "Best Before February 2012. Four years. I'll throw it."

And in the bin it went. I am fearlessly brave and was willing to risk my health to try the delicious scrumptious meaty sticks. But my mum is not so brave and perfectly good food was waste.

Sighs! Luckily it's not that long before Josie's birthday and that is usually good for a kitty treat drawer top up.


Mum scalped Josie

March 29th 2016 11:05 pm
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Sometimes Josie gets a happy that is just too big for her body. She has to run and bounce and leap and prance until it's down to size.

She was like that yesterday morning when she woke up and there was mum, asleep in her own bed, where she belongs. I say asleep, that didn't last long once Josie got going.

So mum had her revenge and scalped Josie.

Mum reckons Josie had something matted in the fur at the back of her neck that resisted all attempts to tease it out but a quick snip with the nail scissors and it was gone.

Mum says it doesn't show but Josie was most indignant, convinced that she had a narrow escape from losing a whisker or worse.

I have inspected the fur that was removed and we still have no idea what that tortie was foolish enough to rub up against.

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