Toby's Diary

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I still want a pet

January 21st 2015 10:40 pm
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I was happily snoozing last night when I heard a kitten meow. I immediately woke up. Post of smallest cat is already taken; we want no kittens round here.

To my relief I saw he was on the TV so I jumped down and went and sat beside my mum and we watched a programme all about pets together.

I want a hamster and a budgygar. They look awesome.

My mum said being my pet might not last too long if she got me one but it was Josie that killed my mouse not me.

I liked the show anyway and stayed awake for most of it, keenly watching all the different animals which made my mum smile. The cats were the best of course.

 

Bored of cold now

January 20th 2015 10:42 pm
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We want to play outdoors. But it's too cold. This morning I was woken by a kerflumph sound, a snigger and my mum saying, "It's not too late to send you back you know." More sniggering as Josie is pretty sure it is too late.

It's a pretty mischievous and bored cat who sees her mum deeply asleep and dreaming and decides to dive-bomb her from the chest of drawers. Mum definitely did not like being woken that way.

My scary moment was last night when strange furry things appeared on the radiator. I approached them very cautiously and gave them a sniff.

"That's my bed socks,"said my mum, "I put them there to warm through." Oh yes - and there were her pyjamas toasting too. If this cold carries on mum will be stealing Josie's snuggle rug. (At the moment Josie spends all her days either on mum's lap or on that rug - no wonder she gets bored at night.)

 

Mum's presentation

January 19th 2015 10:36 pm
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Instead of going to work yesterday my mum stayed home and told us what she does. Again and again. It was very dull.

"I'm practising my presentation that I'm doing at our parent company this afternoon," she explained. "I hope they don't all fall asleep like you two."

"Are there pictures of cats in your slides?" I asked.

"Two," she replied. "I always get cats in if I can."

"Then they will like it," I said firmly. "Enough telling us."

So off she went and came back late but she said they did like it and laughed in all the right places. I'm sure they liked the pictures of the cats the best.

"Was the two cats Josie and me?" I asked.

"Time for supper," she replied. And it was and I forgot to find out. I'm sure they were.

 

Keeping warm

January 18th 2015 10:56 pm
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We've not had snow except one little flurry but it has been pretty nippy round here and us cats do not like to be cold. Not one bit.

Josie had apparently abandoned her snuggle rug so I had a go. Actually I quite liked it. It is warm. But why was the throw underneath moving? Oh - Josie. She likes to go under things when she's cold. So we shared the chair - you just couldn't see that we were.

Mum moved my furry rug that I rejected but when I found it on the sofa I curled up on it and had a snooze. Mum sighed and said she will never understand cats

At night Josie has been glued to mum's side to keep them both warm. I could not be more ready for Spring!

 

Paw prints are good

January 14th 2015 10:47 pm
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I was in the garden patrolling when it came on raining. Time to go in. Simple enough you might think but I had a problem when I got to the kitchen door.

My mum was indoors washing the floor. Hm. If I came in then she would wash my beautiful paw prints right off. Was it better to stay outside and come in when she was done thus leaving my paw prints for longer?

"Come on in you crazy cat," said my mum when she noticed me hesitating. She settled things by holding the door open for me.

"You won't wash my prints off, will you?" I asked.

But she did. Can't she see how they enhance the surroundings? No appreciation of beauty that's her problem!

I had to make a special trip out later when it had stopped raining but was still muddy in order to replace them. The things I do for this household.

Mum says we are lucky it was just rain as there's been snow elsewhere in the UK. We have had wind though and a fence panel is down so we have bonus access to next door's garden. It's the side where no cats live so we like that.

 

My latest pet

January 13th 2015 10:34 pm
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I smuggled him in while my mum was at work - a handsome slug that I called Sid. It isn't fair that the people get all the pets and I really wanted him.

My mum is no fan of a slug so after giving him a little time to explore I suggested he hide himself.

"Like this?" he asked, tucking himself against the skirting board.

"Perfect," I said.

My mum came home and did not see him. Only we had forgotten one thing. Slugs leave a silvery trail. My mum said "What's that?" and she followed where it led and saw Sid.

"Yeuch!" she said, which was a bit rude actually. She fetched the dustpan. "You are going out," she said firmly.

"I am feeling a bit dried out," said Sid, "so it's for the best." Although I don't think he realised just how he would fly from the dustpan to the lawn.

So I am once again petless. Sighs!

 

Testing

January 12th 2015 10:38 pm
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Over Christmas we did get used to having my mum around more and we miss her when she is at work. I've taken to sitting by the window most evenings so I can see her as soon as she comes home. She sees me and smiles so I think she misses us too.

Josie had a goodly plan yesterday. While my mum was pottering about Josie settled herself all comfy on mum's suit jacket. No jacket - no work presumably.

But mum made Josie move. She said she needed her jacket.

"I'm testing job candidates today. They'll be smart and it's only polite," said my mum.

"What do you test them on?" Josie asked, imagining something like toy mouse pounce technique or ability to identify dinner time with nothing more than your empty tummy to guide you.

"Maths and English," said my mum. Which is not so much fun.

"Did they test you when you started?" I asked. I've seen my mum with her bank statements and her maths isn't great.

She thought a moment. "Just a personality test," she said.

"And did you have one?" I wondered.

She gave me that look so I think she must have passed that test.

I would test on headrub technique, food portion size awareness and ability to comprehend meows. Mum said she would test on ability to sleep past 5am or at least stay quiet, agility around feet so she wouldn't have to worry about us in her way (her in our way more like!) and non-sitting on newspapers.

Perhaps testing wouldn't be such a good idea!

 

Furry things

January 11th 2015 10:38 pm
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Some things should be furry - cats, obviously. Kitty toys can be.

Some things should not be furry. My mum has bought new slippers which are furry. She looks like she has brown paws instead of feet. I will not let her near me when she wears them. She says they are really cosy and comfy but they are not her feet and I don't like them.

She also bought a new furry throw for me. I don't like the snuggle rug that Josie now lives on (she can't believe there was a time she had to face winter without it) so mum bought me one that's furry but not noisy. I don't like it. She put it on top of our proper old throw so I've pushed it to one side.

I am not a fan of change.

 

I'm still not sure

January 8th 2015 10:35 pm
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about the new sofa.

It's the recliney part I don't like. Josie loves it - mum kicks it back and Josie is right there. If it's reclined then mum expects to be there for a while and her lap is extra flat and comfortable. And if it's reclined and mum isn't there it's extra sleeping space.

And Josie says when it's reclined there's an exciting cave underneath and you can go right in and explore.

I have not and will not go in that cave. What if mum unreclined and shut you in? I am also very unhappy with the way the arm of the sofa slides when it reclines. I don't even like being in the same room when it reclines. I don't care what mum says. It may not be safe even for a cat asleep on an other piece of furniture entirely.

We did have some good news yesterday. My mum won a £20 Amazon voucher in a wordsearch competition. She thinks she will be choosing a book or some such thing but Amazon have a pet department so Josie and I are going to pick out some things we like. After all, Mum already had books and can't need more.

 

My beautiful paws

January 7th 2015 10:36 pm
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It's been raining. Josie believes that cats dissolve in water and won't go anywhere near anywhere she might get wet but I don't mind so much. I went out for my stroll and came back in. I then walked along the edge of mum's bed.

"Toby!" she said.

I looked back. Wow! I had left an amazing trail of dark paw prints all along the sheet, a proud proclamation that Toby was here. But my mum was right to alert me. My paws were drying. No longer did I leave my print.

"Thank you," I muttered and ran back outdoors for a top up. More mud; more prints. I returned to the bed and topped up the gaps I had missed.

"Really?" said my mum.

"Awesome aren't they?" I said.

I am delighted with my artwork and my mum's uniquely patterened bed linen. Strangely she seems less impressed. I never quite understand her.

 
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