Close X


Toby's Diary

(Page 8 of 132: Viewing Diary Entry 71 to 80)  
[First 10 Diary Entries] Page Links:  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  11  12  13  [Last 10 Diary Entries]  

Strange goings on

May 1st 2016 10:49 pm
[ Leave A Comment ]

I saw it first. I went back in to tell Josie and she went out to take a look. What was happening?

"I'm digging the flower bed," said my mum. "You've seen me do that before."

I'm pretty sure I haven't. "I'm only five," I said, "I'm pretty sure I haven't."

My mum considered this. "You're probably right. I bought a little rose bush and planted it about a month ago and I saw it's all choked up with grass and weeds so I thought I better help."

Gosh. It's a good thing my mum is going back to work or who knows what she might do in that garden!


Definition of empty

April 27th 2016 11:11 pm
[ Leave A Comment ]

I am a reasonable cat. I will eat own label food. But I will NOT eat own label biscuits. Even Josie won't eat own label biscuits. So if they are in our bowl then our bowl is empty and so I tell my mum.

We are eating Whiskas biscuits at the moment and I like them. I like them all but I like the yellow ones the best. Once there are no yellow ones left the bowl is empty and so I tell my mum.

She's a bit dim and it took her a while to work this out. Many fruitless conversations. "It's not empty, I see biscuits," and I would just look at her and sigh. There were no yellow biscuits left. The bowl was empty!

But she has got it now and I see her peer in and check and when there's no yellow we get a top up. Human training does take patience but they get there in the end.

Uncle Bill has gone back to his family and cats in Scotland. He's quite tall so I wasn't that happy when he was walking about so don't miss him so much.


Uncle Bill is staying

April 26th 2016 10:22 pm
[ Leave A Comment ]

We know when someone is coming to stay as my mum takes loads of things out of the spare room and makes up the bed. She was doing this and she said, "Toby! in a cross voice and "You horrible cat. When did you do this?"

"When couldn't you be bothered to buy me the right kitty litter?"

I have very strong views on that subject. If the tray's not right I use the bed. My mum is normally pretty good on that front but a few weeks ago they sold out as my brand was on special offer and my mum tried to fob me off on something different.

She should know.

Some stuff went in the bin and mum said I had helped make her mind up about something that had to go. I did my best big eyes just in case. She can't resist my big eyes.

"Not you," she said, stroking my back, "Even though you drive me nuts. The bed has to go. In my new job they want me to work from home sometimes and this room is going to be my home office. We hardly ever have overnight guests. I'll get a foldy bed for them."

Ah - her new employers had spotted the master hand behind her presentation and are hoping for more.

We have Uncle Bill staying. He sat where my mum normally sits so I sat next to him for my petting. Mum gave him my brush and that was nice. Mum said that is clearly the arm of the sofa that I love, not her. Probably true!


I've noticed a trend

April 25th 2016 11:18 pm
[ Leave A Comment ]

Mum and Josie were bickering yesterday. Josie said that my mum was wearing Josie's bed whilst mum said it is in fact a fleece for people to wear and not a cat cosy bed. Josie was having none of it.

"Remember when you put that blanket on the back of the sofa?" I asked.

"Ah yes," said my mum, "I was going to put it over my legs on cold winter evenings."

"And why don't you ever do that?" I asked.

"Because Josie is asleep on it mostly," she replied.

"Correct. And why did you have to get a second lap tray?"

"Because Josie likes to sleep on the base of it," mum said.

I knew all this. I had a point to make.

"And why don't you get to wear your new fleece very often?"

A pause. A mumble.

"Speak up."

"Josie sleeps on it."

"That's right. Are you noticing a trend? Everything that you have to make your life cosier gets taken by the tortie."

Never any harm in reminding my mum of the many reasons that I am the superior cat.


A Celebration

April 24th 2016 9:57 pm
[ Leave A Comment ]

We got beef. That's our favourite. My mum has been offered a job.

"I expect it was the one where I helped you with the presentation," I said and she agreed it was. I don't see why Josie got beef as I didn't see her leaping up to join in when my mum practised.

But we're all happy as my mum will be earning again. We don't know when she will start. She's going back to find that out today.


The stick with feathers on the end

April 21st 2016 10:43 pm
[ Leave A Comment ]

I heard my mum in the bedroom. She was laughing, "Go on then" and some noises so I had to vestigate.

Josie was leaping and bounding and chasing the stick with feathers on.

"Do you want to join in?" asked my mum, waving the feathers towards me.

I looked at them both coldly. "Not really."

I do not get that game. Josie loves it but it's just our mum wiggling a stick around. It offers nothing like the thrill of a good red dot chase or Da Bird's aeronautics.

I do not understand Josie at all.


Mum's disappointment

April 20th 2016 10:30 pm
[ Leave A Comment ]

My mum said she would prefer it if I didn't bounce on her at night when she is sleeping.

I would prefer it if a butler followed me around with a selection of kitty treats on a silver salver.

Looks like we are both doomed to disappointment.

I've taken to the bouncing thing as when I pat her head she sometimes pretends to still be asleep. No-one sleeps through a Toby bounce!

She didn't get the job she went for on Monday so I let her rub my tummy some more. I am all heart!

She doesn't know about Tuesday's, she has another one today and two on Monday so hopefully at least one will offer her a job.


I am not a soppy cat

April 19th 2016 9:49 pm
[ Leave A Comment ]

My mum was tired yesterday when she got back from her interview. She gave a big sigh and slumped back on the sofa.

I knew exactly what she needed. One fluffy tummy coming up! I lay next to her and rolled so she could rub my tummy. She put one arm round me and rubbed my tummy with her other hand and I fell asleep with my head on her arm, purring all the way.

Then I woke up with a start, realised how I must look and quickly rearranged myself to a position more fitting for the man of the house. I hope Josie didn't see me all snuggled and soppy. I would never live it down.

(But it did cheer my mum up!)


Mum's presentation

April 18th 2016 10:01 pm
[ Leave A Comment ]

Yesterday she had an interview and when she came back she said, "Now I must practice my presentation," and she did.

It's very dull - no cats in it at all, no discussion of the finer points of bird hunting, no review of the best sleeping places, nothing we actually like to talk about.

I've done my best with it anyway. Every time she stands up to practice I join in. She says that isn't helpful but she's just being polite and doesn't to put me to any bother. I think she'll be OK.


A gift for us

April 17th 2016 10:25 pm
[ Leave A Comment ]

We have a voucher for Cat Soup. This had us alarmed at first - my mum sometimes makes soup and when she makes say, vegetable soup - you don't want to know what happens to those poor vegetables.

But mum says this Cat Soup is for us to eat, not to be in.

"As a Starter?" I asked.

"I'm not sure," said my mum, peering at the voucher. "I'll just have to get some and we'll see."

There was a long pause.

"I see you still standing there," I pointed out, "Yet the shops are open."

"One - I am busy. I have a presentation to work on for Tuesday's interview and Two - I have no idea where they stock it."

So whilst we have a perfectly good voucher and empty tummies we have no Cat Soup.

My mum has three interviews this week so hopefully will have a job again soon. We will miss her when she is working again but we can't live on free voucher food!

  Sort By Oldest First



Family Pets

Henry (now an
Angel Cat,


(What does RSS do?)