Toby's Diary

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Mum went away

April 5th 2015 11:54 pm
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I expect she needed a break from crazy Josie.

When mum came back she had a scratch on her neck. I do not approve of other cats scratching my mum.

"Who done that?" I asked.

"Little Bertie, my friend's new kitten," she replied.

"What did you do to annoy him so?"

"Picked him up for a cuddle."

She does that to me. Holds me close and tells me she loves me but I never scratch her.

"I don't think he meant to. After that he did purr and lick my nose."

Bertie was a Christmas present that someone realised they didn't want. Kittens all look adorable but mum says they are hard work. (I'm pretty sure I was perfect!) Bertie is as lively a kitten as you could wish and his new owner quickly decided that cat ownership wasn't for her.

Luckily mum's friends are used to cats and have room in their homes and hearts for another. So he is cheerfully wreaking havoc there now.


What to do about a crazy cat?

April 2nd 2015 10:55 pm
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Josie is showing no signs of calming down.

In the wee small hours she suddenly pranced around the the bedroom, bouncing on everything, declaring, "Paaarrtaaay!!"

Mum looked at her somewhat groggily. "Not partay! Sleep!"

Josie kept bouncing round.

"If you don't sort yourself out I'm going to sleep with the door shut and you on the other side of it," said my mum.

"Would you shut Toby out?" asked Josie, looking at me, curled up good as gold.

"No, of course not," said my mum.

So Josie reckons it would be have to be both of us if it was even one at all so reckons she is safe to carry on with her exuberant ways at all hours of the day and night.

I think we're all hoping that when Josie can go outdoors, when the weather is nicer, she'll be bale to run off her energy there.


An argument with my mum

April 1st 2015 10:34 pm
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If something sounds like a bag of kitty treats it had better be a bag of kitty treats.

I heard that distinctive plastic ripping sound of her opening a new packet. I ran over immediately - a new bag is always a delight. Will it be the return of an old favourite or will it be some new morsel of delishessness cooked up by the wonderful peoples at the kitty treat making place?

I gazed up in wide-eyed anticipation.

"Oh Toby," said my mum, "Did you think it was treats for you? It's a bag of dental flossers." She held them down for me to sniff. Slightly minty. Ugh!

But I waited for you cannot get a cat all happily expectant of treats and then not deliver. Surely she would open the drawer and give me some Dreamies or Felix Mix or ....

And this is where the argument happened. Apparently she can get her cat all happily ... and then not deliver the goods.

I feel woefully let down.


Josie still crazy

March 31st 2015 10:58 pm
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I'm not sure how much more of this I can take.

I was talking with my mum when I noticed something unusual going on behind her.

"What's Josie doing?" I asked.

Mum turned around. "I'm not sure. What are you doing Poppet?"

"Just one more wriggle and I'm there," declared Josie happily as she vanished behind the fridge.

"Why?" asked my mum.

"I'm behind the fridge because I'm such a cool cat. Get it?! Cool cat! I write all my own material and I'm here all week folks."

Mum and I exchanged glances. "Is there nothing you can do for her?" I pleaded.

Out Josie sniggled and then up on the kitchen sides. We have one rule in our house and that's no cats on the kitchen sides when my mum is looking. She was very much looking.


That naughty tortie jumped down and ran off. I don't know what to do with her.


It's blustery out

March 30th 2015 10:31 pm
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And when it's windy that crazy tortie I live with goes even more mad. You wouldn't believe such a thing is possible.

She whipped herself up into such a frenzy running in circles that her tail fluffed up (which by the way is impressive, magnificent, or words of that ilk - not 'cute' like my mum said when she saw it!)

Josie has already been out to run some of that energy off. I'm staying right here where it's safe and warm.

Mum wants to know how and why we had the personality exchanges. It is true that I was the more adventurous one but for me maturity has brought a healthy dose of caution. For Josie - well, it's the opposite. It's like she's enjoying her kitten-hood all over again. Mum says as long as she doesn't start climbing the curtains again then it's fine - she likes to see us happy.


A falling out

March 29th 2015 10:32 pm
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When my mum goes out to work Josie and I spend the day quietly indoors pining for her. At least that's what we've always told her. We're home when she leaves and we're home when she comes back so she has no reason to suspect the truth.

Had no reason.

On Friday evening she was on the phone to my friend Dee, sorting out their Friday night plans. Then she looked at me, still talking on the phone.

"No, he's fine...........Why would he be muddy?"

Dee has a flat which is an upstairs one and nearly but not quite backs onto ours. Between them are other gardens. No road so I am allowed to go there. One used to have a pond but lately they filled that in with soft earth. All the cats like to go there and roll in it as it feels good and smells fascinating and I love a good wallow.

I had no idea Dee was spying on me and would tell-tale to my mum. I thought she was my friend!! I gave her a very cold look when she came around later. It will take quite a few Dreamies before I forgive this one.


Yet more naughty Josie

March 26th 2015 11:36 pm
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Once again it was at night when mum was peacefully sleeping. Josie woke me - "Watch this!"

She went and stood by my mum's head. She often does this on a cold night. Mum lifts the duvet up and Josie squiggles under the duvet and nestles against mum. She finds it wonderfully warm, she gets headrubs and feeling mum's breathing and heartbeat she can forget the cares and responsibilities of being an adult cat and feel like a tiny kitten again, all safe and warmedly.

(Mum interrupts here - Just what cares and responsibilities do you two have? You, I tell her, you are deficient in many aspects and we worry about training you properly. From her face she hadn't expected that. Don't worry, I reassured her as I am a kindly cat, you are making progress.)

Anyway Josie woke mum, up went the arm under the duvet and Josie jumped up onto the arm. There was a pause while mum registered what had occurred and Josie remained suspended and then the arm lowered a sniggering Josie to the bed.

"What was that about?" asked my mum. But Josie isn't hot on explanations and given that the most likely explanation would be 'I thought it would be funny' that's probably for the best.


Josie in trouble again

March 25th 2015 11:39 pm
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We were all sound asleep last night when I was woken by a gentle scrabble. I looked up and saw Josie poised on the chest of drawers.

"Shh!" she whispered, shooting me a warning look, "There's a mouse or something under mum's duvet and I'm going to get it."

With that she bounded down on to the bed and grabbed the lump she had seen, full-blown hunter mode, she grabbed the top with her front paws and struck forcefully and repeatedly with her hind legs.

"Josie - I'm pretty sure that's..." I started to say.

"Ouch! That's my hand," interrupted my mum, pulling her hand away from Josie and tucking it under her, out of reach.

I swear Josie was sniggering as she ran out of the room without so much as an apology.

"Well there's a new and unwelcome way to wake up," said my mum, not looking best pleased. Lucky for Josie mum has a forgiving nature.


Mum's bad morning

March 24th 2015 11:48 pm
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Once someone vacates a seat that seat becomes available for any cat that wants it. That is the rule and it applies even if it is my mum doing the vacating and even if she's having a bad morning.

Yesterday started well. She did not go to work and we like that. She was explaining that she took the day off as she had an event to attend in the afternoon and a dentist appointment in the morning. Only the afternoon thing had been cancelled.

Then the phone rang - the dentist was sick, that was cancelled.

"So I took a whole day holiday for nothing," she sighed. "Maybe we'll all just veg in front of the TV...hello - why is the telly box showing that code?"

She phoned the telly box people and they had her pushing buttons and switching things to no avail. It was while she was busy doing all that that I seized the moment and her chair.

"No, no," I heard her say, "I'll be working. He'll have to come Saturday."

It was when she put the phone down she saw me. "Toby! Really? Now even my cats are conspiring against me."

I did feel sorry for her but rules is rules and the cushion was so very comfy.

"I shall spend today wallowing in misery," she announced. We all spent a few minutes contemplating such a day. "Actually no I won't," decided my mum, "I don't think I would enjoy that."

Funnily enough once she turned her attitude around her day turned around - the dentist rang back - another dentist had a cancellation, would she like an 11.15 appointment? Yes she would. The telly box people texted - it was a fault in the area not in her box and would be all fixed soon. And other things fell into place.

And I spent most of the day on the cushion and it was dleightful.


What I love about Spring

March 24th 2015 12:01 am
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Hunting season is nearly with us. I see lots more birds out there and I'm going to get one. Oh yes I am! Mum says please don't but I know she doesn't want me to go to any bother. It is no bother at all. I love to hunt.

Sadly so far they have all flown away and I haven't got one yet but we are only just at the beginning of the season. It is that bit lighter and warmer in the mornings so I start hunting early - no time for my usual snuggles. Mum says she misses them but she'll have to pet Josie instead.

Another thing I love is that day when mum suddenly announces the clocks are changing and everything happens an hour earlier. I don't know how or why she does that but we are perfectly happy to go along with it. Indeed Josie and I are making sure we don't miss the day by waking her up an hour early every day just in case. She's not as grateful as you would expect.

The great outdoors beckons. Off I go!

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