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Toby's Diary

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Ikky Josie

May 18th 2016 10:33 pm
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I like a rainy evening, when I sit next to my mum, getting petted by her and we are all cosy and happy indoors. That's just how we were last night.

But then - Josie licked my head. She knows I don't like that. That tortie has no sense of what's hygienic!

Mum seemed to think it was a good thing. "Ah," she said, "You love your brother"

I opened my eyes and gave Josie the look and she pretended she was done and walked away. I should not have to put up with this.


A bet

May 17th 2016 10:28 pm
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Yesterday was a lovely sunny day. My mum was up bright and early. So she went into work early.

"I bet she comes home early," said Josie.

"I bet she doesn't," I said.

"Four Dreamies says she does," said Josie.


With such high stakes you can imagine how anxiously we were looking out for her at the window. And suddenly there she was. She had a big smile when she saw us.

I scampered down to talk to her.

"How are you early?"

"A beautiful thing called flexi-time," she said.

"So you left work at the right time, not early," I said and she agreed it was so.

The Dreamies were mine. Josie did some grumbling but she should know better than to bet with invincible Toby.


Not a good weekend

May 15th 2016 11:26 pm
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First of all someone stole our bed from outside so now no-one can sleep on it. And where will I go when my mum buys the wrong kitty litter?

Then on Saturday a man came. I sniffed his hands and could smell other cats. I didn't want him adding me to his collection so made good my escape. Josie stayed but hid under my mum's bed. She said that my mum showed him the mantel piece where Josie likes to sit and he took it off the wall. So now where was Josie to sit?

Anyway there was lots of noise and now we have a reinforced mantel piece that doesn't slope. The man said that unless mum gets a tiger it should be strong enough.

My mum has us; she does not need a tiger.

Then my mum went and fed the cats next door. She was worried as she hadn't seen Maurice but then she remembered. The boy loves the rattle of a biscuit box so she stood at the door, shaking the biscuits and calling. He appeared from behind her - he had been indoors all along, just hiding. Very wise!

Josie spent much of the weekend testing the reinforcements and they do work so she's pleased. I had to put up with an over-excited tortie leaping about. And mum mowed the lawn even though she knows I hate that.

I am glad she is back to work today and we'll have some peace and quiet!


One rule for us...

May 12th 2016 10:15 pm
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I thought we must be having a guest to stay as my mum started moving things out of the spare room last night. Then she surprised me by dragging the bed out. It wouldn't go through the front door so she dragged it all the way through the flat, out the back and round and now it's in the garden.

I see how it is. We have to sleep indoors at night no matter how hot it is but a guest can settle down and sleep outdoors. Hardly fair!

My mum is still enjoying her new job. She comes back very tired each day. She says she has a lot to learn. I knew that.



May 9th 2016 10:14 pm
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We were stuck in ALL day yesterday while my selfish mum was at work. When she came home I merely sniffed at my supper and I was at my door, poised waiting for her to open it.

"You do know you can do this yourself," she commented, as I sprang towards sweet freedom. "It's called a cat flap for a reason."

In an emergency I expect I could but I never dreamed she would be gone so long. Apparently this is how things are to be from now on.


But she was happy - she had a good day and likes her new office and people and actually did quite a lot of work which she didn't expect she would on Day One so she says she's going to stay there. I may have to risk the fur on my head and open that door myself.


I went to the vet

May 8th 2016 10:34 pm
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I did not want to go to the vet; I did not need to go to the vet; I wish I had not gone to the vet.

It had been such a lovely morning - I had my breakfast and a run outside and was just settling down for a snooze in a sunbeam when my mum grabbed me, in the box I went and we were off.

They have changed the waiting room so there is a cats only side and that is much better. This didn't stop a horrid dog trying to get in our side. He was so stupid. They were trying to weigh him and every time they put him on the scales he wagged his tail so hard that the scales went up and down.

Anyway it was all a waste of time as the vet says I am great. I knew that. I am 3.75 kg (8.26lb) so a slim and healthy boy; my heart is strong and I have no fleas.

We came home and I can tell you there were no kisses for my mum that day - not even at bedtime. I was so annoyed with her.

We are being nice to her today though as it is her first day at her new job and she is a bit nervous.


My mum stole another toy

May 5th 2016 10:54 pm
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It buzzed in yesterday, resplendent in black and yellow stripes. I knew I could catch it but mum said not to chase it.

"You're chasing it," I said. That was so unfair. She keeps all the best things for herself and isn't even very good at it. The wassop escaped and buzzed out again.

Then my mum painted some splodges on a wall. "I'm trying to choose what colour to paint the spare room," she said.

"You know you're not very good at painting walls," I reminded her.

"I'm not very good at lots of things but I never let that stop me," she said.

I considered this. "You are pretty good at head scritches. You should probably stick with those." She really should.


Surprises for my mum

May 4th 2016 10:58 pm
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Yesterday they were coming for the bed in the spare room so my mum pulled it out to give it a good clean. And she went, "Yeauch! That's revolting."

"What is?"

"I think it's...", she peered a bit closer, "yes, it is, it's a very dried up frog. Or what's left of one."

"I expect that's just one of my many prey for I am a mighty hunter," I said.

"It looks old enough even for it to be one of Henry's which is more likely," she said, scooping it up on the dustpan at very arm's length. People are weird. It could not do her any harm.

Then later she was cutting back the brambles at the end of the garden when she saw something else she wasn't expecting.

"It's Da Bird," she exclaimed, "How did it get here?"

"There is a clue in the name," I pointed out.

She gave me that look. "It did not fly. It's a toy."

It's my favourite toy and we had lost it. I was so pleased to have it back. Only mum put it in the bin. Turns out being out all winter isn't particularly good for things with feathers on (although real birds manage OK) so now it was more of a long stick.


Hunting season

May 3rd 2016 11:09 pm
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Spring is, of course, prime hunting season. I only managed the one bird last year and am resolved to do better this year.

My mum has been working on her technique as well. Normally she is terrible, you're patiently and stealthily poised, about to pounce, and she'll come running out, arms waving and shouting, and the bird gets away.

But yesterday I found her on all fours on the kitchen floor, intently focused and occasionally reaching out. I sat beside her to see what game she was playing. Out came a flailing arm, "No, no Toby, this isn't a cat game."

"Looks like one," I said but she was adamant that she was having all the fun for herself. I wasn't even allowed to walk through. She's so selfish.

Her story was that when she opened the kitchen cupboard a jar of honey had fallen and smashed on the floor. She had swept the floor and mopped the floor and yet was still seeing tiny shards of glass. That's what she was looking for. She worried about us getting them on our paws. I don't know how or why she made the honey jump.


Fixed fences

May 2nd 2016 10:55 pm
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Sometimes I like to snuggle with my mum. Yesterday morning I nestled right up against her arm, purring and snoodling and feeling all cosy and content.

She sighed. "I was going to do so much today Toby, but I can't move you."

"You're welcome," I muttered. For who wouldn't rather be on their sofa nestled with their cat than doing chores?!

How long we would have remained like that will never be known for their was suddenly a banging from our garden. We all got up to have a look. A man was there, fixing the falled over fences.

Since they blew over there has been a steady stream of cats walking through. I am worried that they will come as before, find the exit blocked, not know where to go and we will have a garden full of cats.

Mum doesn't see anything wrong with that vision but I most certainly do!

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