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Toby's Diary

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I had visitors

November 29th 2015 11:37 pm
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On the whole I am not a fan of guests. You never know if they might ask to get the ironing board out or to see the hoover in action and I steer well clear of these things. My mum says that guests never do housework and like to see me but better safe than sorry.

But yesterday's guests had a trick up their sleeves. I was making good my escape when I heard a sound I like. I stopped in my tracks.

"Rustle it again," said my mum. "He's listening."

The sound came again and I had to go and see. Yes, my ears never let me down. Kitty treats. Yum.

If only all guests came with rations. Anyway after that I knew they were my friends. Even Josie got brave enough to come and say hello and have some treats. Best of all - they left the bag when they went. And two Christmas stockings - one each for me and Josie. Some visitors are OK actually!


Mum had a shock

November 26th 2015 10:32 pm
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What I love is an evening when my mum doesn't have anywhere to go and is tired so we all snuggle down on the sofa and enjoy being together.

Yesterday evening was even better as my mum brushed me. Being brushed is one of my top favourite things. I love how the bristles feel in my fur; I love having my mum's undivided attention; I love how sleek and handsome I look after. Then my mum says "Swallow!" because I forget to do that and dribble a bit.

Anyway I had a thorough brushing and was all blissed out and content. My mum pulled all my fur out of the brush and rolled it into a ball. There was loads, the ball was about the size of a large mouse.

Which is why the next set of events happened.

My mum forgot it when she went to bed and that cheeky cat Josie saw it, noted its mouse-like qualities and went into action.

This morning it was lying in shreds on the floor. My mum saw it and said, "What the heck?" and then realised. Much to her relief. Just fur. And her own fault of course.


I was never so small

November 25th 2015 10:37 pm
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My mum has found a new TV programme about kittens. It's on the children's channel but she'll watch anything about cats anywhere!

It's quite sickening. "Aren't they cute? Look at their little faces," she says.

They are very small and helpless at the moment, with foldy ears.

"I was never so small," I decided. "Josie might have been of course."

Mum gave me that look. "I think you were," she said.

"And I think I wasn't," which settles things. "Did I have foldy ears when we met?"

"No - but you were pretty tiny. You're not exactly large now."

"Did I or did I not, fix your broken heart with my enormous love and general enormous awesomeness?"

I did, of course.

"Hardly the actions of a small cat."

So we are agreed.

Mum's reminded me it's Thanksgiving today. We don't have Thanksgiving over here but wish our friends in America a Happy Thanksgiving. We are very thankful for them all in our lives.


Two signs of cold weather

November 24th 2015 10:38 pm
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No cat likes the cold I think but Josie really, really hates to be cold.

So now it is cooler two things are happening again.

Whenever my mum leaves the room Josie jumps into her seat with a mutter about not letting good warm go to waste. Mum comes back in with her cup of tea and finds Josie in her place.

She looks down at her, "Was someone else sitting there? Can you remember?" but Josie just buries her face deeper into her tail and pretends that she has been asleep there for hours. Mum sighs and sits somewhere else.

Then in the morning when my mum gets dressed she throws her dressing gown on the bed and Josie jumps on it and makes herself cosy. It's warmed, soft and smells of mum so it's all good in Josie's eyes.

Mum laughs and says it's a very good thing that the thermostat is out of paw's reach or we would have a tropically warm flat and astronomically high heating bills.


Happy that mum is home

November 23rd 2015 11:32 pm
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Mum took a day holiday yesterday as she was tired after her weekend away. Actually she said she was also tired because she didn't get much sleep her first night home.

This was not our fault. It was mum's fault that I had a deficit of snuggles to catch up on and I wasn't going to let her go to sleep until she had given me all the headrubs and strokes that I missed while she was away. And Josie woke bright and early and was so happy to see mum sleeping in her own bed where she belongs that Josie bounced on her and did tail-chasing and went in the bedside table cubby hole and knocked things out and generally was a naughty tortie.

So it was lucky really that mum was home for the day and could enjoy a siesta. Josie curled up on mum's legs and they looked all warm and sleepy and cosy. I don't do laps but I did spot my snugglespot - between mum's legs and the back of the sofa, a Toby sized niche, all warm and snug. So the three of us had a wonderful snooze.

Mum's should not go away. Ever.



November 22nd 2015 11:11 pm
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My mum went away for the weekend. She went away last month too. This is clearly not acceptable so what should two lively cats do? Get ready to rumble!!

We managed to throw the lamp further than we ever have before; Josie barfed so mum would have to clean it up; we found her fresh ironing pile and - well, let's just say it will need ironing again. I think she's learnt her lesson.

Despite our best intentions though we couldn't quite hide how happy we were to have her back. I gave her a million nose-rubs and purred loudly as I can and Josie went crazy like she does and made mum laugh.


A tiny confession

November 18th 2015 10:26 pm
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The night before last Josie pounced on my mum while she was sleeping. Clearly a bad cat thing to do. I would never do such a thing.

Only. You know how sometimes...

Last night mum was deeply asleep and I was remembering watching Josie flying through the air towards her unsuspecting target and how much she laughed and how much fun it all looked and before I knew what was happening there I was, flying through the air towards my unsuspecting target.

It was fun. I did chuckle.

My mum said, "Toby? Not you as well."

But I didn't do the chasing tail thing as I am a good cat. Mostly.


Bad cat Josie

November 17th 2015 10:46 pm
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It was very windy last night, so extremely we all stayed in. Now the trouble with windy weather is that it makes Josie go completely crazy. I mean, more than normal crazy. Which is quite a lot of crazy for one cat.

When my mum said "Bedtime, Cats!" Josie trotted off like a good cat. Her mischief would wait until mum was asleep.

She started by asking for snuggles, settling down close to mum, all purrs and sweet contentment, then up she leapt. Too excited to sleep. This happened a couple of times.

Then she jumped up on my chair to give her some lift and divebombed mum's feet, chuckling all the way. When mum didn't join in Josie started chasing her own tail. (I know - I grew out of that years ago.) Mum just lay there but she cannot have been asleep as Josie wasn't exactly careful). Then Josie found a ping pong ball under mum's bed and was batting that around.

If anyone likes the sound of Josie now might be a good time to make an offer!! (Oh - mum says she still loves her and won't part with her. I cannot think why!)


Now our new neighbours know

November 16th 2015 10:37 pm
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A parcel came when my mum wasn't in so the new people upstairs kindly took it in.

Mum went to get it. She came back saying the little girl who lives there was standing at the top of the stairs, all smiles and laughter.

"You are pretty peculiar to look at," I commented, "She's probably not seen one like you before."

But mum said she's probably just a happy child which is always good. They seem a happy family and best of all - always quiet at night when my mum sleeps. She doesn't miss standing on the doorstep in the middle of the night pleading for quiet like with the last one!

So she put the box down. The people upstairs had a long time to look at it and couldn't fail to have noticed the bright tape across the cardboard with the name of the shop on, again and again.

"Mad About Cats"

So now they know. That pretty much sums up my mum.

"Is there anything for us in there?" I naturally wanted to know. And yes there was. A catnip cigar. Awesome. And mum seemed pretty happy with her cat-related stuff too so we're all good.


Already excited about Christmas

November 15th 2015 10:27 pm
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Mum made our Christmas cards at the weekend.

"I don't remember you taking my picture," I said. I have to be on my own Christmas card.

"You were asleep," she said.

"Is Josie in the picture?"

"Yes, you were both asleep on the sofa."

This seems unlikely. I don't like to share with Josie on account of her outrageous snoring. But my mum showed me and it is true. I must have been very tired.

She did lots of cutting things and gluing things and then said she had to go out.

"I am leaving lots of bits drying. Do not play with them."

We did not "play" with them of course. We investigated. There were a few sub-standard items so they went on the floor and we picked out some other things we thought would improve the general appearance. They are our cards so we should get some artistic input.

My mum did not agree.

Our theme this year is sleeping cats. Josie and me asleep on the sofa, Santa peeping through the window and mum wrote, "Twas the night before Christmas and all through the flat, not a creature was stirring, not even a cat."

We will be awake on Christmas Eve of course. It's impossible to sleep when you are waiting for Sandy Claws to arrive with all your presents.

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