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Toby's Diary

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Josie's tray

July 5th 2016 10:25 pm
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I could hear my mum talking to Josie, saying, "Just give me a minute you crazy cat."

This I had to see so I trotted in.

They were both on the sofa. Josie had clearly wanted to sleep on her tray but my mum had selfishly left it on the floor. Mum was therefore trying to put it on the sofa. Only Josie was so keen to be sleeping on the tray that she was trying to climb on it even as my mum slid it under her.

This wasn't working well for either of them.

Josie is not the sharpest claw on the paw.

I mocked her with a firm meow.

"Don't you start," said my mum. But if there's attention to be had - I want my share!!


Good with technology

July 4th 2016 10:08 pm
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Now my mum works from home sometimes I have been learning more about technology. Turns out I have quite a knack for it.

My proudest achievement so far has been switching mum's laptop to Airplane mode without her realising. She was checking her router and turning things on and off which was funny to watch.

I also managed to mess with her e-mail login so she now has to keep proving she isn't a robot.

Josie tries but doesn't get on with technology like I do. She has only managed a bit of typing.


Unfair things

July 3rd 2016 10:33 pm
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At the weekend friends came for lunch. Including Nahid - who rescued Josie when she was a stray and never turns up without something nice for us cats.

There was wine which was opened and some people had a glass; there were chocklits which were opened and handed round; there were kitty treats which were opened and I had some and there was Sheba cat food which was opened and ... Was it heck?!

I'm pretty sure Nahid would have loved watching me enjoy that but my mum took it and said thank you and we would have it later. How is that fair?

Also, I was the good cat. The sociable cat. I let everyone admire my handsome coat and give me treats and was generally a good host. Josie was noticeable by her absence.

Eventually my mum lured her out from under the bed with lik-e-liks. So Josie's poor manners were rewarded whilst I went without. Well, no, of course I didn't. I made sure I got more than Josie did because I deserved it of course.

You have to make your own fairness in this life!


Josie was a worried cat

June 30th 2016 10:58 pm
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Last might my mum did not come home from work.

"I think she's gone on holiday again," said Josie, with a heavy sigh. I was more cautious. Big bag was in its place and she never goes way without it.

Happily I was right - my mum was just working late. Josie went completely loopy when mum walked in. Well, she's not exactly normal at the best of times but she did that running and jumping thing like she thinks she's a bouncy ball.

That does make my mum laugh which Josie doesn't mind. If my mum is home she doesn't mind anything really. No pride, that cat! At least one of us retained our dignity.



June 28th 2016 10:18 pm
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Sometimes a bad thing can be a little bit good.

My mum went out yesterday to visit my friend Dee. Dee had an operation at the weekend but is home now.

"Are you going to check that her cone isn't too tight?" asked Josie. I never had a cone but Josie has.

"Dee doesn't have a cone," said my mum.

Josie looked quite concerned. "But how will she stop chewing on the stitches on her tummy and getting poorly?"

This is the voice of bitter experience for Josie.

"I don't think she's bendy enough," said my mum.

This is probably true. I've seen my mum bending and she isn't half as wiggly as a cat. Normally that would be a bad thing but if it means not having to wear a cone then maybe it's just a little bit good too.


Cool cat

June 23rd 2016 10:26 pm
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My mum has been telling us about her holiday. Her friends have two cats - and a dog. Whilst cats are discerning creatures and will assess new arrivals and bestow attention on individual merit, dogs will take a cuddle from anyone.

So my mum had arrived and was stroking the dog (she is weird like that) when one of the cats recognised a good petting technique and came over for his strokes.

My mum has two hands so one hand petted the cat and one hand petted the dog.

Obviously an unsatisfactory situation from the cat's point of view. Undivided attention is what he sought so ...whacky paw. One firm smack on the dog and the dog was gone. Problem solved.

Mum said that the dog is bigger than both cats put together but the cats are very much in charge.

Cool cats. I like them already!


Mum is home

June 22nd 2016 11:44 pm
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She came back late last night. She now owes me a week's worth of cuddles and I am determined to get them.

Josie has just been going crazy.

Neither of us is managing to play it cool as we had planned!


Mum is not to go away

June 13th 2016 10:04 pm
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Yesterday I needed my head scritching so I reminded my mum. Many times as it happens. Which is not nagging. It is reminding.

Eventually she sat down with me and I purred and purred.

She sighed. "What will you do when I go on holiday?"

"You won't go," I said.

"I will miss you," she said.

"You don't have to," I pointed out.

I am assuming she's joking anyway. What does she need a holiday for?

We were watching a programme about dogs being trained to help people. They had to learn to get their people up and out of bed in the morning. Josie and I have been performing this service for years, no training required! Cats are so much better than dogs.



June 12th 2016 10:58 pm
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When we have visitors it is me they come to see, not Josie. I told Josie to stay in the bedroom so that everyone could admire me properly. I did indeed get a brushing and lots of admiring comments when our guests came.

Josie disobeyed me and came out later but I still think everyone liked me the best!

One bad thing though - my mum put a photo of me on Facebook. One of her very confused friends referred to me as 'Jodie' and other people seem to have picked that up. Can't they see I'm obviously a boy?!


I caught a bird

June 9th 2016 10:42 pm
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My mum came in, saw it and called out, "All Hail Toby! The mighty hunter." At least I'm pretty sure that's what she said. It was hard to make out the individual words within the squeals.

She scooped it up pretty smartish and now it is gone so she must have liked it.

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