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Toby's Diary

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Not a happy household

February 8th 2016 10:44 pm
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Yesterday my mum decided to do some sorting out in the spare room. It's where things go when she can't decide what to do with them and they accumulate rather. And her craft stuff is in there. And our tray. As it happens.

She came out, holding one of her albums by the corner.

"Which disgusting cat peed on this?"

From her tone I would say Josie. It wasn't a happy tone. Then I remembered.

"Which stupid human bought the wrong kitty litter?"

She's been mixing it with the good stuff and thinking that will fool us. It hasn't. I am extremely particular about my kitty litter.

Mum gave me that look and went and got her rubber gloves and disinfectant and operation clean up started. She really should be grateful to me... I mean I helped her make sure it was a really thorough clean.


Kittens can be naughty

February 7th 2016 10:42 pm
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On Friday my mum went off all smart for her interview. She came back and immediately scruffed down and she was talking about what happened.

"Did you tell them about us?" I wanted to know.

"Strangely that didn't come up," said my mum. Weird interview.

Just as we were settling down to watch a film there was a knock on the door. It was Victoria from next door. Had we seen Maurice? He had got out that morning and hadn't been seen since. Mum had not so she and Victoria went in our garden and looked and called but there was no sign of him.

A couple of years ago I went off and had a terrifying adventure and was gone all day and Josie said that my mum was in pieces so she knew how bad Victoria must be feeling - and was really hoping that Maurice would come back home just like I did.

And so he did. Some hours later. Now when I was gone - well, it was terrible. I returned home with the demeanour of one who has feared for his very life. For indeed I had. I had wondered if I would ever see home again.

Maurice, well, it wasn't quite like that. More the nonchalant stroll of a cat who has been enjoying exploring and is now ready for a hearty supper. They were torn between happy to see him and annoyed that he had put them through so much. He has a lot of purring to do to make it up to everybody!!


I like what I like

February 4th 2016 11:00 pm
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My mum was eating something yesterday afternoon. I jumped up on the arm of the sofa and looked at her enquiringly.

"It's a scone. You wouldn't like it," she said.

I sniffed the air. "I would."

"It's Josie who eats weird stuff, you like meat mostly. This isn't meat," she said.

I persisted. "It smells good."

When she had finished she pushed the plate towards me. "See - you won't like it."

But she was wrong. As she so often is. I licked up every last crumb. I was right. I do like scones. Now I've proved it maybe I'll get a bit more than crumbs next time.

Today my mum has an interview for a job she really wants. I suggested she take along a selection of cold meats for her interviewer. She seems to think that whilst that would work brilliantly with a feline interviewer it would be viewed askance by a person. I don't get people.


Snuggled Josie

February 3rd 2016 10:37 pm
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My mum was out all day yesterday - some trade fair so when she has interviews she can talk the latest talk. We have got used to having her around so missed her.

I think she missed us too. When she came back she sat on the sofa and put a fleece over her lap.

"Josie," she called, softly.

Josie went and settled herself happily on mum's lap. Then mum folded the fleece over Josie so she was all snuggled in, snug as a bug in a rug.

A very contented purr rumbled round the room - not only on mum's warm lap but under cosy fabric. Life doesn't get much better than that for Josie.

This morning I am lying right by mum's side, all over one arm. I may not do laps but I don't want my mum to forget that she has two cats to snuggle!


My leg

February 2nd 2016 10:34 pm
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I was sitting on the arm of the sofa, basking in my mum's adoration and caresses when she suddenly said, "Show me that leg."

I was bemused. "Which leg?"

She pulled back a bit and studied my left hind leg. She touched it. I like being stroked, scritched and generally petted. I do not like to be touched. I pulled my leg away.

"I think you're developing a patch of brown fur. It's not as black as the rest."

My cat mother was a black cat but I never met my father. Judging from my siblings he was tabby. Am I developing a tabby patch in his honour? I have stripes in my black so I might be. I wasn't sure whether that was such a good look but then when you're as awesome as I am you can rock any look.

My mum does have a new suit for her interview but we aren't being allowed near it. I think this would be a good test of a new employer - if they don't like cat hair then my mum probably wouldn't like working for them. Mum is unwilling to test that theory.


Josie likes popcorn

February 1st 2016 10:48 pm
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My mum had forgotten that. She made a bowl for watching TV with and was happily munching away when Josie pushed her head in the bowl and started licking.

"Josie!", said my mum when she realised. "Ugh! I don't want that bit now," and she gave it to Josie who crunched it down and went back for more. So mum gave Josie a few more pieces which made her laugh until she realised that popcorn probably isn't ideal for cats and stopped. Much to Josie's chagrin.

The job hunting went on yesterday. Mum looks at the name of the company and has a look at what they do etc on their website "Composite flooring - yes, reckon I could work there. Although I thought people glazed over enough when I tell them I work in insurance. Composite flooring would really be a conversation stopper."

She's looking at so many different companies on her puter she's getting a really odd mixture of pop-up ads.

The good news is that someone wants to meet her so today she's off to buy a new suit. If she really wanted to impress them she should wear her furry fleece with the cat head hoodie but I suppose she wants to give the other candidates a chance.


More Josie madness

January 31st 2016 10:45 pm
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It was very windy outside on Friday. There is something about a windy day that just makes Josie go completely loopy. She was bounding all around the flat in heedless exhilaration.

My mum was completing job applications. "2000 characters on why I fit the role. OK." Tappety-tap. "10,000 characters on why I want to work for them. 10,000?" She looked again. "Yes, 10,000. You seem nice and are looking for someone like me. That's not going to cut it." She sighed. Then tappety-tap.

She would break off every time hurricane Josie approached. "Not near my keyboard!" Once bitten and all that.

Eventually she had a better idea. She fetched our toy box and sat that on the table next to her. Every time Josie approached a toy mouse or ball or anything would fly past her, with Josie quickly in hot pursuit of it.

That seemed to work for both of them.

Right at the end of the day an agency contacted mum about a job she had applied for. Mum got quite excited "Yes, I can do that. Yes, I can do those things as well. Sounds excellent." So her CV has gone in and we are purring madly for her as it sounds like a great job.


Being helpful cats

January 27th 2016 10:18 pm
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Josie has been helping my mum with her job applications. I know this because I heard my mum exclaim, "Oh no, no, no, no, no! What have you done?"

Josie had walked across the keyboard while my mum was applying for a job - half-way through her cover letter Josie had added a comment and sent it. She was pretty sure the letter needed fewer words and more feline endorsement. Mum did not agree. Luckily it was on a jobs website and there was a chance for mum to retrieve it and Josie's been told not to help again.

I've been giving mum lots of snuggles so she feels loved. I've been told not to do that when my mum is sleeping but it's not like she has anything to get up for in the morning. She reckons she has as she must find work but snuggles are an essential part of life so I intend to keep going.


My plan

January 26th 2016 10:28 pm
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So my mum went to her work yesterday morning and they told her what's going to happen and how much money she will get.

I asked her how much and she told me.

"And yet I see you standing there," I said.

She looked at me blankly.

"The pet shop is open and Josie and I need toys and treats." It sounded like a lot of toys and treats.

"Firstly we don't have it yet and secondly we have to live in that until I can find another job," she explained.

So today her job hunt starts in earnest as once she has another job we are talking major toys and treats excursion!!


Bad news for mum; good news for us

January 25th 2016 10:44 pm
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Mum was home early from work yesterday, with a sad face and a letter in her hand.

"That's it," she said, "My job is at risk."

Josie climbed onto a small table and chased her own tail, trying to catch that elusive plume without falling off the table. Not easy and it made my mum laugh.

"I swear you get crazier," she said. She is not wrong about that tortie.

Anyway she goes back to work today to sort out the details and then she gets to stay home with us a lot more. So we'll like that and hopefully she'll find a new job before the money for kitty food runs out.

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