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Toby's Diary

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I caught a bird

June 9th 2016 10:42 pm
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My mum came in, saw it and called out, "All Hail Toby! The mighty hunter." At least I'm pretty sure that's what she said. It was hard to make out the individual words within the squeals.

She scooped it up pretty smartish and now it is gone so she must have liked it.


The storm

June 7th 2016 10:15 pm
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There was a storm here yesterday. My mum was so scared she had to hurry back from work so I could look after her. She didn't admit it - had some crazy story about a lightning strike on her building knocking out all their computers but hers worked fine here so that wasn't true.

Not that we minded. It was too wet to play outdoors so we needed her to entertain us.

It's still raining this morning so I had a very quick run outside and Josie didn't go out at all. I came back in for my milk and it wasn't ready. My mum was still eating her part - she takes out all the lumpy bits and I drink the rest. I made my feelings on her slowness known and no mistake!

I wonder where summer went.


Mum's are weird

June 6th 2016 10:32 pm
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Yesterday was a gloriously hot and sunny day. So she left the curtains drawn. Doesn't she know we like to sunbathe?

"But the flat gets too hot and I can't sleep at night," she said, complaining that I had pushed the curtain back a bit, so I could soak up those wonderful warm rays of happy from the comfort of my own bed.

"We've talked about this," I sighed. "All we have to do is go out at night. Sleep under the stars. It's wonderful." I would think. I've never been allowed to do it.


I am the hardest wrking cat

June 5th 2016 10:33 pm
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I had to work really hard on Friday. I was helping my mum. She was working from home. She went in my room and got her books and folders and laptop and tap tap tappety and I helped. Many would feel that my mere presence would be enough but I wanted to do more than that.

I typed with my paws on the keyboard; I made suggestions in a firm meow; I pointed things out in books. I was on fire!

This all wore me out and I needed a break so I trotted out.

"Josie," I called, "You go in there. Time you pulled your weight." And off she went.

I heard my mum say, "Is there to be no rest from these dratted cat?" which was rude to say about Josie who had only just gone in there. But I heard her pain and made my break a short one. I realised that she needed my help.

I am a good and hard-working cat!


Mum still feeding other cats

June 1st 2016 10:13 pm
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She thinks we don't know but we can smell them on her. She definitely pets them and has stray strands of fur on her.

The dangers were illustrated last night when there was a knock on our cat flap. My mum went to see and Jasper was there. He was hoping that my mum might feel like going round and giving him a bonus supper. When my mum said she wouldn't he asked for a tummy rub instead. That boy has some nerve!!

"This would never happen if you didn't feed them," I pointed out.

"I like other cats," she said, "and I'm grateful that people feed you when I go away."

"If they didn't you couldn't go away," so I am not so grateful.

"You would go in a cattery," she retorted. I wasn't sure what a cattery is but once my mum had explained - now I am grateful.

I don't know why people go away. Us cats holiday at home and are very happy to do so.


Mum did painting

May 30th 2016 10:17 pm
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My new play room was yellow with blue stars and moons and now it is the colour of a delicious bowl of cream. Yummy.

Josie helped - quality control, that kind of thing. Mum told a bad lie and said that this was a job where cats were not helpful. Cats are always helpful, even the weird ones like Josie. There is no situation not improved by a feline presence. (Except the vet surgery - that would be better with no cats!)

Now the room has Josie's favourite table in there and big piles of books and folders that my mum said she was too tired to sort last night. I'm sure Josie will help my mum sort them later.


Feeding other cats

May 29th 2016 10:22 pm
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On Saturday morning that Maurice from next door was in my garden so I went out to see what he wanted.

"Can you tell your mum I'm ready for my breakfast?" he said.

"Since when does my mum give you your breakfast?"

He counted carefully. "Since yesterday."

I knew something was up. I had smelled next door's cats on my mum's hands. Not only had she been feeding them, she had been petting them too. Such betrayal! What's worse - on Saturday she gave them lunch. She has always told us that cats don't get lunch.

If she thinks she does not get to feed and pet cats enough she could just feed and pet us double, all without leaving the comfort of her own home.

I think I must have made my point as after Saturday lunch she stopped. Good!


Mum's bath

May 26th 2016 10:39 pm
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My mum has been so busy at her new job and there's been so much going on outside her work that when she goes to bed her mind keeps going and she can't sleep. Did you ever hear of a cat being so foolish? Thought not! We are very much the superior species.

Anyway, last night she announced that she would have a lavender bath before bed. She put on her plinky plonk music and filled the bath with smelly stuff, got her book and in she got.

In the water.

Right there. In the water.

This alarmed me. If she drowned who would rub my tummy? I resolved to keep a very close eye on her and kept trotting in and meowing plaintively. Ar first she just chatted back but then she said, "You're getting annoying now. Whatever do you want?"

I am never annoying. She must have been thinking of Josie (who seemed to think my mum would be OK and didn't help at all.)

So any way after a while she got out, much to my relief.

"That wasn't quite the relaxing experience I was hoping for, thank to you," she said.

I knew just what would relax a person who had just been saved from drowning by the selfless attention of their cat, and ran ahead of her. I jumped up on the arm of the sofa.

Stroking cats is a very well known and safe way for people to relax. She needs to do more of that and less of the crazy bath stuff!


A nice surprise for my mum

May 25th 2016 10:40 pm
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"What is this doing in my bed?" she asked, "How the heck did it get here?"

She was holding up a kitty treat.

No cat ever since the beginning of cats and kitty treats complained about the presence of a light snacklet as they settled down to sleep. My mum seemed less impressed.

You try and do something nice and you don't get any appreciation at all. She's been a bit tired with the new job and we had imagined her skipping with delight at our thoughtfulness. Hm.


Traded for bread. For bread!!

May 24th 2016 10:34 pm
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There was a quiet but persistent knock on our front door. Frankly I wish everyone would knock like that rather than the big rat a tat tat they normally do. But it took my mum a while to realise someone was there.

She opened the door and there were our upstairs neighbours. It was one of the little girls who had been knocking. They had baked fresh rolls - would my mum like some?

Yes she would. But you could see that my mum wished she had some way to return the favour. Ah, she could - the children wished to see the cats.

Josie had already made a run for it (for once the wiser cat) so mum grabbed me. I squirmed and squiggled and generally made it very clear I did not wish to be petted. The children took one look at me and made it very clear they did not want to touch me. So my mum let me go.

I will never forgive her - willing to trade the opportunity to pet me for some bread. Bread. (Apparently it was delicious but that still doesn't make it right!)

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