Toby's Diary

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A scary dog story

May 6th 2013 10:40 pm
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It was a beautifully sunny day yesterday and Josie and I took it in turns to toast ourselves on our bed. Mum says there is nothing more relaxed than a cat sleeping in sunshine and I have to agree, we do it rather well.

In the afternoon mum went out and she came back much later than she had said and she had this story to tell.

She went to see my friend Dee who lives in the next road to us. Dee's neighbour breeds big, scary dogs that people buy as guard dogs. We can hear them bark from our home and they would definitely scare us.

Dee had been in her garden, making everything nice for when my mum went round and suddenly she heard a nom, nom, crash, crunch. One of the dogs was tearing her fence to pieces. The dog pulled a big hole in the fence and jumped through it. Dee ran as fast as she could out of her garden leaving her phone on the garden bench and everything else as it was.

The dog was on a chain so couldn't go far but Dee has a small garden so couldn't go back in. She knocked at the neighbours but he was out.

So then my mum arrived happily looking forward to an afternoon sitting in the sunshine but they had to go indoors. The dog settled itself down to sleep. At one point they heard some barking and the dog had jumped back through the hole to tell its mates of its adventure.

Mum and Dee crept down to try and retreive the phone. They peeped over the gate and all was still but as soon as they tried to open it there was more barking and the dog jumped through again.

Mum knows cats better than she knows dogs. She didn't think the dog wanted a fight - it wasn't growling and its ears were upright. But it wasn't waggy tailed and it was very large so she didn't want to risk getting close.

Dee was very grumpy so my mum stayed to cheer her up and think what they would do if the neighbour didn't come home that night. Mum had some plans involving dog food although who did the distracting and who grabbed the phone was never established.

Luckily the owner did come home. As soon as he arrived the dog jumped back for its dinner but the man is going to repair the fence.

Then mum came home. She said the man has to make good the dog's damage as the law holds people responsible for their dog's actions.

"What about cats?" I asked.

"No, the law knows that no-one can control a cat." The law is correct on that one! Anyway what self-respecting cat would gnaw through a neighbour's fence?

So that was mum's adventure with the dog. I'm glad it was her and not me.


Josie's birthday

May 5th 2013 11:27 pm
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We love birthdays!!!

My mum asked Josie what she would like to do on her special day. Josie thought very hard - this is not a question to be wasted. What Josie wanted to do was play lots of pokey paw games and then have a long sleep on mum's lap. So that's what we did. Well, I didn't sleep on mum's lap. I don't really like to do that. But Josie did and I snoozed on my bed and it was voted a pretty perfect day all round.

Josie doesn't have her present yet. She wanted something quite particular and mum hasn't been to that shop yet. She did get some of her favourite treats though and we all had special dinner.

I thought the day would end badly. Mum went out in a special dress and didn't come back until really late. Even though she didn't have big bag the memory of last weekend hanuted me. What if she didn't come home?

I sat in the window as dark time came and waited. I was so happy when I saw her car pull up and watched her walk down the path. She had been to a wedding.

No work for my mum today. It's a Bank Holiday so more play time and sleep time and mum has promised no weddings. It's a bonus Josie birthday day!!


Josie the model cat

May 2nd 2013 10:33 pm
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Mum said to Josie that now it is May it is nearly time for Nahid's birthday. Mum always makes Nahid a card with a photo of Josie on. Mum said she had an idea and needed Josie to pose like she was sniffing a flower.

Josie tried but couldn't quite imagine that so mum got a wooden tulip and propped it up in our pokey paw box and asked Josie to sniff that.

Josie rubbed her head against it to give it a scent worth sniffing - which knocked it down. Mum propped it up again. Josie pushed it down again. Mum propped it up again. Josie started chewing its wooden leaves. Mum sighed.

The upshot is that mum has a number of photos none of which she is sure whether she can use.

I did think Nahid might like to have me instead this year on her card but as it was Nahid who looked after Josie when she was a stray and found my mum for her mum thinks Nahid will like a Josie picture best.

Other than that all is well. We are having lovely sunshine and I'm happily shedding my winter coat. Mum brushed me and brushed me yesterday and then said, "That should be all of it", gave me a stroke and looked in dismay as a handful of fur fluttered down. It is true. I do have an infinite supply of loose hairs right now. I love Spring!


Ecstatic Cat Warning

May 1st 2013 10:32 pm
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You may have gathered that our mum is not the sharpest claw on the paw but Josie and I are fond of her.

I like to sit on the arm of the sofa and exchange nose rubs with her and then she scritches my head and strokes my back and I feel all warmedly and loved and I purr my very loudest.

That's what we were doing last night when I felt something wet fall on my foot. I looked at it. Yes, definitely damp. I looked up.

"Do we have another leak from upstairs?"

Mum laughed. "No, crazy cat. You were dribbling."


When I get really loved up and happy my head is all full of bliss and, well, I sort of forget to swallow. I can't remember dribbling on myself before but mum says I often dribble on her and even more on the sofa which doesn't move out of the way.


Still - she keeps stroking me so I don't think she minds too much and I have no intention of stopping getting all blissed up so I've decided not to worry about it!


People Biscuits v. Kitty Biscuits

April 30th 2013 10:31 pm
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I was having such a lovely snuggle with my mum yesterday morning and she said I am very hard to leave.

"I know," I purred, "so don't"

But she did. She said she was running Time Management training and if there's one course she must turn up in good time and be organised for it's that one. At least that made a change. So far as I can judge most of her courses are about how to say stuff. How hard can that be? Deep breath, open mouth "meow". Done. If that doesn't work, deeper breath, louder "meow" Done. If that doesn't work, whacky paw. I could so do her job.

Anyway off she went with armfuls of paper and she came back with much less paper and some left over people biscuits. Later that evening she made a big cup of tea and sat down to enjoy her biscuits.

I've never had people biscuits or don't think I have so I was most intrigued. I like to learn. I gave them a very thorough sniff.

"You won't like them Toby" said my mum.

It's true they don't smell of nice things like chicken or tuna but they smelled of vanilla and was that a hint of butter? Best check. So I started licking one.


"I'm not eating your biscuit. I'm just licking it. It's rather tasty actually"

My mum is so selfish, she couldn't bear to see me happy. She threw away my licky biscuit and put the others out of my reach. She said something about the sugar being bad for my teeth.

So Kitty Biscuits win because they smell better and mum doesn't steal them but People Biscuits are nicer than you might imagine. I wonder if I could get my one out of the bin and try it with tuna juice?


Being nice cats

April 29th 2013 10:41 pm
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Some cats are mean but sometimes it's not their fault. Smudge, who lives next door, arrived as a stray. He used to beat me and Josie up if he ever got the chance but when they adopted him next door they took him for his op and now he's a sweetie pie, all happy and domesticated and we exchange no more than the occasional look.

And the new stray is next in line for the op. He is so horrible but they reckon if he has his op he'll turn nice too. At the moment our neighbours are trying to take his photo. The Cats Protection League won't operate on him until they are sure he is indeed homeless so they are going to put posters up and see if anyone claims him. Trouble is it turns out he is camera shy if nothing else shy!!

So mum says next door are good cat loving people so we must not be mean about Paul even if he did forget to feed us. Mum said he might not be willing to feed us again if we aren't nice cats.

"Then you couldn't go away," I said hopefully. I would like mum not to go away.

"No," said my mum. "I would go away but I would leave you food in one of those timer dishes so you would have no company and no-one checking you are all OK."

If mum must go away we would like people to talk to us and just in case we needed any help at all.

So we are practising being nice. Actually mum says Josie is already a good cat, it's me that needs the work. I'm going to go out on this sunny morning and think about that one.


We nearly starved

April 28th 2013 10:35 pm
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Warning: This story may be too scary for any kittens present.

It began well enough. We were all happy on Saturday morning. Mum was pootling about; I was basking in my glory of having been a Daily Diary Pick and Josie was sunbathing. Then mum went out and when she came back she had Grandpa with her. We don't see a lot of Grandpa on account of him travelling a lot. He finds that most countries have warmer weather and more sunshine than the UK and he likes to meet new people and learn about their lives and history so he isn't much at home.

He didn't even stay long in our home. Then mum grabbed big bag and they were gone.

This is where it gets scary.

For hours passed, dark-time came- but no food. We polished off the last scraps of breakfast and all the biscuits mum had left and then all we had were our rumbly tummies.

Dawn dawned and the birds started singing but they were outside out of reach. They sang of the tasty worms they would be catching and even worms sounded good to eat to our hungry ears. But no-one came.

It wasn't until afternoon when mum came back. I told her that we hadn't been fed at all and she said, "Toby - you always say that" and then she looked at our licked clean bowls and where they were and the food on the side and she said, "Oh dear. I think you might be telling the truth this time."

She filled our bowls and there was much rejoicing.

Then later Paul from next door knocked. Mum had remembered to ask but he had forgotten to tell the others and had been out. They've agreed mum will put any future dates in writing!

He was very sorry and mum said that was Ok and we were none the worse for our ordeal. But she wasn't the one who nearly starved.

We have forgiven her though. She had brought back some tuna fish so we could try the biscuits in tuna juice as recommended by my Catster friends. Mmmmmmmmm!! It's a recipe I highly recommend


A fish in my water

April 25th 2013 10:39 pm
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Mum changes our water every day so we have fresh. Whilst Josie prefers hers from the tap I'm very happy with my bowl and drink plenty.

But this morning mum noticed something in the bowl.

"Yeuch - what is that?" she wondered. And then "it's a fish. How did that get in there?"

Given that fish live in water that struck me as a foolish question.

"It probably swam there."

"Toby - it's not a real fish. It's a fish-shaped biscuit that looks like like it came out of your biscuit bowl. Biscuits can't swim."

Then I remembered. When I was a kitten I quite often used to dunk my biscuits in my water before eating them. It's a labour of love to get them firstly out of the one bowl and secondly into the water and last night I had been trying to test if they were as good like that as I remembered. They weren't. Which is why I left the fish in the water.


Attack cat!

April 24th 2013 10:38 pm
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Picture the scene - it was the middle of the night and all was quiet and still.

Josie was curled up in a neat ball sleeping sweetly and no doubt dreaming of summer days. She was lying on my mum's back, gently rocked by my mum's breathing as mum was deeply asleep as well.

All was calm, all was peaceful. Enter Toby.

I climbed up to the window sill to get some momentum and launched myself onto the sleeping pair - Pounce mode. It was brilliant, both of them were so startled and wide awake in seconds. Josie ran off and mum looked at me and I purred.

"That was mean," mum said.

"That was funny," I said. Then I wondered "What was you dreaming about?"

Mum thought for a moment and then said, "I was putting my feet in a bucket of cold baked beans."

She was teasing me "You weren't. That would be a stupid dream."

"Bizarrely I truly was and I have no idea why."

I can assure you my mum never puts her feet in her food.

"Probably best I woke you then," was my verdict.

"Maybe - but it will be hard to get back to sleep having woken so suddenly."

Luckily if there is one thing I know about it's how to get to sleep. Plenty of purrs and headrubs and stroking me, that's what would do it. Mum is so lucky to have us cats, even when she's sleeping her life is full of surprises.


Mum does love us

April 23rd 2013 10:38 pm
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Mum came home yesterday and said that she had been to the pet shop and they wouldn't take us. Not even part-exchange. Apparently there's no market for naughty cats.

Josie was quite relieved but I don't believe my mum went to the pet shop at all. I think she loves us and was just teasing but how to prove that?

It was a beautiful evening and mum had the doors open and she mowed the lawn and I was in and out and so was Josie and the idea came to me. I sneaked under the throw on the armchair and waited.

Mum closed the doors as the evening got later and I heard her wonder where I was when she did that. Josie was in on my plan so said to mum she last saw me in the long grass at the end of the garden.

Mum settled down; time passed. I had a lovely sleep actually.

I heard mum wonder again, "Where is that boy? I don't like it when he's out so long." Ah-hah!! So she does miss me when I'm away and love me really.

She went in the kitchen and called me through the little door but of course I was already in so I ignored her.

I let her worry about half an hour more and then gradually emerged from my hiding place. Mum was suitably happy to see me. I got a big squoodge and snuggles.

"So admit it! You don't want to give me away." I said, between purrs. Mum said no, she doesn't really, she loves us both. And she will peek under the throw if I ever go missing again as she didn't like to worry so much.

Cats are much cleverer than people and we always win in the end!

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