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Toby's Diary

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Letters for me

March 18th 2014 11:43 pm
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Most days the postie pushes bits of paper through our door and there they stay until mum comes home and mostly she picks them up and sighs but yesterday there was something arrived that caught our eye.

Josie can't read so well but some things she can recognise.

"That's a picture of a cat on that package," she said, "Read it to me Toby, what does it say?"

I can read very well of course but I didn't want to spoil the surprise so I said we would leave it until mum came home.

Mum smiled when she saw it. "It's a free sample of new cat biscuits." I jumped up to my biscuit bowl expectantly. I knew that was what it was of course.

"We'll finish the box you have and then try them," mum said. That wasn't my plan.

Then she opened her other letters. "Hm. Council tax bill. And - oh Toby - this is for you too."

She waved the paper at me.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, it's a cheque."

I sniffed it. "Still not getting you."

"Remember I had all that trouble with the car insurers last year?"

Not really but I nodded to get on to the part about me.

"They've sent me £75 to say sorry and £75 is more or less the cost of a microchip cat flap so that's what we're getting with this."

I considered this. "What's one of them?"

"You'll be able to come in and out even without a collar on. You'll love it."

This is indeed good news but we don't get it today apparently. Mum has to take the cheque to the bank and she isn't sure when she'll do that. But do it she will and I'll have a new cat flap and no more getting mum out of the shower to come home. I don't know which of us is more pleased.


Who barfs best?

March 17th 2014 11:33 pm
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We have enjoyed eating the grass, it's chewy and tasty. Then it makes our tummies feel funny than ack,ack,ack - out it comes and we feel really good. Then there's the entertainment value of watching mum say "yeuch" and clean it up.

So who could find the best spot? We both think we won this particular contest.

Josie barfed over a pack of playing cards. She got enough that they had to be thrown away. That is pretty good but me, I ran to the back of the sofa and managed to get four different cushions so although there was no total destruction of anything it was quite a bit for mum to clean up.

Mum says couldn't we stay out with the grass but where would the fun be in that?


Being brave cats

March 16th 2014 11:45 pm
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Summer came back at the weekend and Josie and I were looking forward to a repeat of last weekend - bug hunting, sunbathing, generally being happy cats all round.

But then my mum started moving things out of the kitchen again. I hope this isn't her new hobby. I preferred the card-making.

Then that man came again and he lined the whole kitchen in plastic sheeting. Josie and I ran for safety under mum's bed. What if he decided to wrap us in plastic too? We were pretty sure we wouldn't like that.

We cowered listening out and heard odd noises - but not bangs. Hm. Then Josie said, "I wonder if mum is OK" and we thought maybe she wasn't and maybe was as worried about being wrapped in plastic as we were. So we crept out and found her. She was sitting in her armchair so we went to sit on the back of it to guard her. No-one wraps my mum in plastic!

Mum looked at the two of us and said, "Ahh - you're in exactly the same position side by side. You look so cute. I'm going to get my camera."

Cute? Cute! How about brave and caring? Cute, my paw. And no, no photos so by the time my mum came back I had moved.

Anyway the good news is that no-one got wrapped in plastic and the man did leave after a few hours. Our kitchen ceiling is all white and we have a new light fitting.

We didn't mind the old one but mum seems happy that all the damage is fixed now.

So we spent the rest of the weekend doing happy sunny things. I love Spring.


Good manners/Bad manners

March 13th 2014 11:41 pm
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I have good manners.

In the morning I jump up on mum's bedside table and say a polite "Good morning". Then I have to say it again louder. Then, in case my mum isn't awake, I prod her gently with a paw and say "Good morning" in her ear.

She looks at the clock and tells me the time, "Toby - it's half-past five" or "It's only a quarter past five" and I start telling her about my dreams and that is good manners.

Normally Josie waits until my mum gets up to emerge from her nest under mum's bed but this morning she had no patience, no patience at all.

I was gradually building up the volume of my meows when Josie slid from under the bed and before I could say anything bounced right on mum's tummy. That is bad manners.

Mum went "ooof" and then "Toby!" and then she looked at me and saw me exactly where I should be and Josie sniggering from the side of the bed, preparing herself for bounce number two.

Anyway don't feel sorry for my mum. In a way she deserved it. She came home early from work yesterday but just dashed out again saying she was off to a career development event. She has a perfectly good career as a crazy cat lady and Josie and I can give her all the development she needs for that.


Soggy Paws

March 12th 2014 11:52 pm
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So there I was, innocently trotting across the kitchen when...

"Jeepers! Why are my paws wet?"

Mum was at the counter making her packed lunch for work. She looked down at me, darkly.

"You really don't remember?"

"Remember what?" I asked.

She sighed, "What bad thing happened to you on morning patrol today?"

Ah yes. Not what bad thing but what bad cat. There I was checking whether any mice had dared enter my garden when there was a blood-curdling yowl and there was one of the big evil cats who are trying to muscle in on our garden.

I'm a lover not a fighter so I ran to the door but the evil cat was ahead of me. More yowling. Then, oh sweet relief, our special door opened and mum yelled at the cat and I ran in quick-sharp.

"What's that got to do with the water?" I asked.

"What was I wearing when I saved you?"

"Not so much wearing as holding I think but it was a big blue towel. Now you come to mention it that's not what you normally do wear."

It seems that the feline yodels had reached mum while she was in the shower and knowing that I'm not one of life's fighters mum had come straight to my rescue, not pausing to dry.

She loves me really! (Oh - she says she was worried about vet bills but I think she's joking.)


Three year old cats DO climb curtains

March 11th 2014 11:46 pm
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We found out last night. I had so much fun. It's still a bit cold here - turns out Sunday was just a sample of Spring - so I played indoors. I chased Da Bird and I ran and jumped in my Cube and I chased the red dot and I got mum to make me a rug tunnel and she rolled balls down it and I caught them. It was brilliant and yes, up those curtains I went.

Then when I was a tiredy boy Josie started and wanted the red dot and the rug tunnel game too.

Mum said she's fairly sure normal cats find their own entertainment or sleep or stuff but what would she do with her time if we weren't here to occupy her?

I had her up bright and early too.

"Is it my birthday?" I asked her at 5.15, with a gentle paw prod. Then louder when she did that pretending to sleep thing.

"You had that," she muttered and tried to burrow her head into the pillow away from my paws.

I had been hoping that she would have forgotten and we could have another one.

Our job for now is to keep my mum busy anyway as it is Henry's Bridge Day. We see him often and he tells us what adventures he has with all the other Catster Bridge cats - including Ka-Zar now of course - and they are all happy but our mums don't see them and they get sad sometimes as they miss the Bridge cats. Mum's been giving us extra strokes and, as you can see, we've been keeping her away from melancholy.


My mum spoils Josie

March 10th 2014 11:41 pm
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This is what I see.

Yesterday Josie was sniffing my back. Not a friendly passing one-sniff, a real thorough what-have-you-been-rolling-in sniff. She knew I didn't like it. Mum didn't tell her to stop and I had to walk away, relinquishing the coveted seat on the arm of the sofa, which Josie took and don't think I won't remember that.

But then when I jumped over Josie while she was eating her breakfast mum told me off. She said no-one likes to be jumped over while they are eating but Josie was in my way. Sort of. It's not like I jumped on her.

Also, mum has moved all the ornaments off the mantlepiece so Josie can now stride up and down it confidently. Mum said it's because she's pretty sure it will fall off the wall any day now and she doesn't want anything broken but I think it's so Josie can have the freedom to walk about on it. Mum's been sure that's coming down for a while now.

Luckily for Josie she has me to put her back in her place so she won't become conceited with all this special attention.


Spring is here. Hoorah!

March 9th 2014 11:35 pm
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It was glorious and sunny and Josie and I had a marvellous time running in the garden and chasing bugs and things. When we were tired we came in and curled up in a sunbeam each and let the warmth toast our fur while we dreamed of long hot summer days. I cannot wait!

Mum had the big doors open and she said, "This summer please bring in lots of live mice and birds so I can work on my hunting technique."

She's looking at me in that way she does.

"Not, Toby, I said not."

Well she did but we both know what she meant. If you could hear her excited yelps when we have brought things in you would know just how happy she is to have a chance. She's not much of a hunter so needs all the practice she can get.

I didn't find her anything yesterday but I'll keep working on it.


Clever cats (as per!)

March 6th 2014 10:55 pm
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Mum was wandering about doing her morning routine things and she sudden;y asked, "How did you do that Cats?"

"What?" I asked. I was wondering which of the many manifestations of our magnificence she had noticed this time.

"Switch the kitty litter round"

Ah yes, that one! If your mum has has old, bad kitty litter to use up do not ler her think, not for one moment, that an acceptable solution might be to put the bad stuff underneath and coat it with a layer of the good stuff. We saw straight through that and although it took us a while we sorted it all back and now it is an honest box. You can't see any of the good stuff.

"And why?" asked my mum. "Surely you want the green bag stuff on top?"

We do not like her pathetic attempts to fool us, that is the issue here.

She has promised that is the very last bag and she will never buy the blue bags again. She had better not! (Hah! She must think she's dealing with some two year old kitten here!!)


Happ Day

March 5th 2014 10:52 pm
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I had such a wonderful birthday. Thank you to all my friends for my gifts.

Thank you to Monster for my ball of twine and Golden Heart. I love chasing twine and I love Love!

Thank you to Laura-Belle for my delicious cup-cake, mmmm - lots of frosting, yummy!

Thenk you to Monida for my Golden Heart which is very special.

Thank you to Bliss, Penny and Minnie for my smart Fleur-de-lis.

Thank you to Beepers, Ashlynne, Mac, Milo, Xena Princess Warrior, Queen Tallulah Angel Dreamgirl and my special friends Mietzi Katze and Timo Katze for all the shrimp. Mum says not to eat them all at once but isn't that what birthdays are for?

Thank you all for making it such a wonderful day for me. (It was a chilling thought to think that Catster Friendly Areas would have been closed by now. Shudders!)

Mum's work got in on my birthday too sending her home with a bottle of champagne they were so happy that I am three. She claims she won it there for taking part in a survey they were doing but I know it was really for me. Except cats don't drink champagne.

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