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Toby's Diary

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My mum loves Halloween

October 31st 2013 11:33 pm
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She was late home yesterday because she had stopped off to buy some tasty treats for the Trick or Treat kids.

"And for us?" was my very natural enquiry.

"Of course" was her inevitable response. We have her well-trained.

She arranged the treats all mixed up in an orange pail and set about her supper. She ate it and then said, "Now I have to go out."

"I think you may have over-catered for the Trick or Treat kids" I commented.

"Like last year," I added.

"Oh well. Better too much than too little" my mum replied.

Not one kid had knocked at our door.

"Does this mean you have to finish them up?" I pondered.

"Like last year," I added.

"Can't let good treats go to waste!" came the reply. We taught her everything she knows!!


Mum's Dream was a Premonition

October 30th 2013 11:50 pm
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I was happily trotting around my garden last night when Smudge appeared. Mum says there is no shame in running away from him - he is twice my size - so I legged it towards safety.

But he is an evil cat and cut off my escape route. I tried veering to beside the flat to climb over the fence but he caught up with me.

"Now I've got you," he howled menacingly. I tried frantically to climb away but he was everywhere. I heard my mum call but if he can't see her actually coming for him he doesn't care. I have never been so frightened.

Then - sweet relief - mum appeared and off he ran. I ran straight to my door scarbbling at it - "Let me in!!"

Mum said "I'm behind you, not indoors to let you in" but I was so panicked I just kept pounding at the door. Then she picked me up and carried me back inside. I was never so happy to be home.

Smudge had made a lot of noise and Paul called from next door was it their cat and mum said yes it was. Because it was.

Mum checked me very gently all over and doesn't think I've been bitten but my claws are a bit mashed up where I was scrabbling for safety. I spent a good half hour getting them presentable again. Some are still bad but mum says they'll grow back.

Then I noticed Josie. I didn't want her to think I had gone soft so I pounced on her but my mum stopped me saying it wasn't Josie's fault.

Since then I've had lots of special love and cuddles and a special dinner and I needed it I can tell you. I am happy playing in my own garden. I wish Smudge was happy staying in his!


Mum's bad dream

October 29th 2013 11:38 pm
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Tuesday evenings are quiet night in. Yesterday we were the cosiest home in Cosy Town all three falled asleep on the sofa. My mum was lying back on the cushions with Josie on her legs and I was nestled against mum's feet.

Suddenly my mum shot up and ran to the doors exclaining "Cats!" and then she looked at Josie and me. Both of us had shot up too (Josie didn't really get a choice in that one and if something had scared my mum that much I needed to be moving.)

Mum looked at us and said, "Oh" and then "I'm sorry."

Turns out she had dreamed that we were being beaten up by Smudge and had woken up determined to rescue us. Only we weren't. Nice to know even sleeping she cares about us.

I expect she was rememebering the weekend when Smudge not only came to beat me up but brought Leo, one of their other cats, along. How is two against one fair? I could see Leo wasn't exactly keen. He was really hanging back and when my mum went to chase them away he was gone in a flash muttering, "I knew this was a bad idea".

Mum says Smudge isn't really a bad cat, he just had a bad kitten-hood and is much better now he has a loving home but it isn't her that gets beaten up all the time!


Storm Update

October 28th 2013 11:37 pm
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After my mum finished my diary yesterday the winds got more and more noisy. We could see the trees waving around and things skittering about and then there was a big crash.

My mum ran to the window but everything looked normal so she ran to the front of the flat and then she saw what had happened.

"Josie," she asked, "How did everything fall off my bedside table?"

Josie thought it might have been the wind but she couldn't rightly remember. Mum was pretty sure it wasn't the wind on account of the wind being outside but some of it had got inside Josie's head and she was a bit bouncy so it was actually the wind's fault.

Then my mum looked in the back garden and said, "Uh Oh! It's going, it's going,'s hanging's's gone."

Our favourite fence panel had wibbled and wobbled and finally gave up the ghost so we now have much easier access to next door's garden which is excellent. It was our favourite as it had enough of a hole in for us cats to squeeze through and my mum said that could be why it fell, cats and foxes pushing on it won't have been good for it.

Mum went to work and she said she saw lots of fallen trees and when she went to the park the dogs had so many sticks to choose from to chase but the storm is gone now and we don't really miss it.


The storm

October 27th 2013 11:39 pm
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The weatherman said there was a big storm brewing in the sea and everyone should be prepared.

"Have you got our boxes ready in case we need to evacuate?" I asked my mum.

"This is the UK, Toby. It will be wet and windy but we won't have to evacuate."

I was a little disappointed. It had sounded more exciting than that. Mum looked at me.

"We could lose our power," she suggested.

"What would that mean?" I asked.

"We wouldn't be able to see with no lights," said my mum.

I considered that one. "You mean you wouldn't be able to see. Josie and I would be OK with our cat eyes."

"We would have to snuggle up for warmth though and make our own entertainment," said my mum.

Like normal then for us cats. You don't need power to bat a ball around. So we went to bed wondering what the storm would bring.

We had to wake my mum this morning as she looked like she would oversleep and be late for work.

She wasn't the least bit grateful and asked if we had remembered the clocks had changed. We thought that was just yesterday but it turns out it's for months now.

It is pretty windy this morning but mum says it looks like it hasn't been as bad as they feared and we didn't lose our power. Josie has been out and run around in the wind but I've stayed in as it looks a little scary.


Giving my mum feedback

October 24th 2013 10:35 pm
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We've been practising!

Firstly I like my mum to open our little door for me promptly when I want to come in BUT I do not like her to wear her stupid yellow gloves like when she is washing up as she does this. These are to be removed. So when she tried to let me in yesterday I just recoiled and stared at her hands until she got the hint.

Josie, who is still in naughty mode, didn't like mum's choice of office wear yesterday. My mum had her clothes laid out on her bed but as she pulled each item towards herself to put on Josie leapt up, grabbed it and tugged back. Apparently mum seemed to quite enjoy the tug of war until it was a brand new pair of tights; cats' claws and hosiery not mixing so well.

It is being darker and wetter outdoors which we do not like so we're staying in more. My mum says she likes that. She had forgotten what we looked like in the summer.



October 23rd 2013 10:38 pm
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We had mum a bit more than normal yesterday as she had been on a course that ended early. It was about 360 Feedback.

"I don't think we've had that one before,"I commented. "What is it?"

"It's when my boss and my colleagues and the people that sort of report to me all get to say what they think about me. The idea is that by getting it all together you get a rounded view. I had one recently and people said some really lovely things."

"Did Josie give feedback?" I couldn't remember her mentioning it.


"So neither of your cats got a say. I suppose they asked that stupid dog you see at the park."

"I don't think any animal took part," said my mum.

"So it was hardly rounded. Typical."

I have lots of feedback for my mum. Luckily for her I don't wait to be asked for it. She has a right to know how she is doing as she goes along allowing her to modify her behaviour as required. No point in having claws and teeth if you don't use them properly!!


Naughty Josie (again!)

October 22nd 2013 10:31 pm
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Yesterday evening mum and I were playing with Da Bird. I leapt and jumped and chased and it was brilliant. By bedtime I was very sleepy and was dreaming of kitty food containers that kitties can open for themselves when I was woken by a loud meow.

Josie had jumped on mum's sleeping body and announced, "It's Show Time."

What followed was much pouncing on any part of my mum that moved, much muttering by mum and eventually a mad dash for the door by Josie and some leaping around in the hall.

Most peculier!

Then later when we were all properly awake my mum went in the kitchen and exclaimed.



"You're on the sides"


"Where you aren't meant to be," continued my mum.


That wasn't the response my mum was expecting. Usually we jump down as soon as we see her. Josie was in full blown rebel mode.

Mum says Josie hasn't been quite the same since she killed the mouse and has been all demanding. Not with me she hasn't. She wouldn't dare. So she's taking it all out on my mum. It's funny to watch and I like being the good cat - for a while at least.


Cats are Super Sensers

October 21st 2013 10:33 pm
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Last night was a good one for cosy night in. I was on my favourite arm of the sofa curled up, leaning against my mum so I could feel her warm. Josie was asleep on mum's lap and mum was enjoying a quiet snooze along with us. A scene of perfect tranquility But then....

Josie heard it first. She leapt up from mum's lap and ran to the window, pushed aside the curtain and was staring out. Then I heard it too. I ran and stood behind her. Any threat to our home would have to get through the both of us - and the window of course.

My mum looked up a bit blearily. Not only can't she hear very well she doesn't wake up in a spark like a cat. And she doesn't see in the dark much. She came up behind us and peered out.

"What is it?" she wanted to know. Then she caught it - the tip of white on the end of Smudge's tail as he strolled along the path. Smudge who lives next door and should stick to his own garden had been intruding in ours.

"How did you hear him?" asked my mum. "I heard nothing."

"We did hear him trampling about clear as day. You have puny human ears that don't even swivel," I explained. She looked a bit crestfallen at that so I was quick to reassure her. "But you do open cat food sachets quite well so you do have some skills."

Actually come to think of that, why do they put our food in things we don't open so well?

Anyway Smudge had got a glimpse of the three of us lined up to repel him so he trotted off and all is well that ends well. Thank goodness for cats' amazing hearing. Left to mum we would never have known he was there.


Advanced People Training

October 20th 2013 10:38 pm
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My mum went shopping at the weekend. She came back on Saturday, rootled through her bags and found an exciting crinkly sounding one.

"How do you do it?" she asked.

"How do we do what?" I asked, wondering what that noise meant.

"I am used to the fact that no matter how much kitty food I know we have I drift into the pet food aisle when I'm food shopping - just in case. But today I was at the craft shop buying stamps for card making and I found myself looking for a gift for you two. How come?"

"What gift?" I had a good feeling about crinkly bag.

She dipped in the bag and pulled something out, a small white ball, which she rolled across the carpet. I was right on it, one small tap and it flew off. Brilliant.

"I'm glad you like it," said my mum. "But I still want to know how you control me when I'm not even with you."

Some People Training secrets can never be told.

Mum left crinkly bag on a table and by the time my mum woke up on Sunday morning there was an empty bag and small white balls all around the room. Mum swears they are not sold as cat toys but they should be. So despite lots of rain outside we had a happy weekend.

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