Toby's Diary

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We saw mum on TV

April 14th 2013 10:38 pm
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But it wasn't very exciting!

The show she saw recorded was on Friday night and she seemed very excited to see it which we thought was odd as she aleady knew what happened. But we're amenable cats and gathered round to watch with her. Josie had mum's lap and I had the arm of the sofa next to her.

It started and they ran the view over the back of the audience's heads. Mum froze it and pointed- "See the bald guy's head? I'm three along to the right."

There was an embarrassed silence.

"So we're just looking at the back of your head?" I asked.


"We already knew what that looked like," I pointed out. "Is there maybe more of you later?"

"No. That's it, but you'll enjoy the show. It was very funny."

Then I couldn't help but notice something else.

"You're right down in the middle at the front."

"We are," she said proudly, "we queued for hours to get the prime position."

"And did the camera lady queue for hours too? She's standing exactly in front of you with a massive camera."

Mum had to admit she saw half the show through the lens of the camera filming it as they were indeed sitting right behind the camera and those TV cameras are big. So we've suggested she say home and watch the whole thing through the lens of the camera filming it next time and keep us company.

In other news I don't want to jinx it but Spring seems to be here. Mum mowed the lawn yesterday. Our heating has gone off. And Josie has been outdoors for more than five minutes. Not much more but it really looks like Spring has Sprung!!



April 11th 2013 10:42 pm
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Don't mess with our routines!! Cats like to know what's happening.

Yesterday mum went to work like normal, so far so good. But at about 1pm she came home. When mum walks in the door after work - it's supper time. Everybody knows that. And here she was, walking in. Only mum said it wasn't - we still don't get lunch.

Then out she went and didn't come back at normal home time. She didn't come back until, well until nearly the next day. Then we did get supper and she said she hadn't realised she would be so late.

Josie and I were so hungry and then so excited that she was home as we had pretty much given up hope. There was a lot of dashing and leaping about by us and mum just muttered that she was tired and hunkered down under her duvet ignoring our attempts to draw her in to the chase.

So there was walking in when she wasn't expected and not walking in when she should have been. How are us cats meant to know what to do? We don't like changes.

Mum said she had taken a half day holiday to go and see a TV Programme being recorded and has promised to get back in normal routine again. She reckoned it was a lot of fun but today she's really tired.

The one good thing she did do yesterday was check my diary - I have very talented friends!! That doesn't surprise me of course. I only hang out with the best. I liked learning what everyone's special gifts are.


Qualified Cats?

April 10th 2013 10:43 pm
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Mum had some good news at work she was keen to celebrate with us. We like to celebrate and we got ham so it was a good day for us too.

Mum's work run programmes where people can get qualifications which is a special kind of certificate to say you are good at something. Mum's marked their work and said what she thinks but the people who own the qualifying body have always checked as well but as of this week she is trusted to award on her own. If she says that someone is qualified then they are.

Naturally we were keen to get our certificates but mum says it is in Coaching which is all about asking good questions and our questions tend to be of a very direct nature - is it dinner time yet? can we play? - that kind of thing, and apparently they don't count.

This got me thinking what qualification I would get. I thought maybe "Bird Hunting" but mum pointed out I've never actually caught one. In my head I have. "Da Bird Hunting" - I would get that one with just a little more practice - hint, hint, mum!

Josie wants one too so we all tried to think what she is good at. Mum said maybe "Balancing on the bathroom sink in various positions to drink straight from the tap" which Josie is indeed uniquely skilled in. I think she's very good at playing tag, we both are.

And mum could have one in head scritching as she does that well.

I wonder what my Catster friends would get their qualifications in?


Cheeky Josie

April 9th 2013 10:37 pm
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Tuesday is often movie night in our home. After supper and play time we all settle down and choose a film. Only last night mum chose a stupid one about a dog. She was laughing at the carzy things the dog did but we didn't get it - there are plenty of films about cats out there so she shouldn't have been watching dogs.

Anyway I was snoozing on my bed and Josie was beside mum on the sofa when mum noticed Josie chewing on something.

"What have you got there poppet?" she asked - and she moved Josie to see as she doesn't always trust us when she catches us eating anywhere that isn't our bowls.

Then "How did you get that? I didn't see you." Mum had made herself a bowl of popcorn and Josie likes popcorn, especially with a little drizzle of butter, so Josie had taken a piece from the bowl on mum's lap without being noticed.

Mum reminded Josie of the rule that we don't take food off her plate but Josie thought that only applied to visibly taking food in the same way the rule about not walking on the kitchen sides only applies when mum is in range of sight.

Then mum got up to draw the curtains as it was getting dark. When she turned round there was Josie, cheeky once more, curled up on the cushion mum had been sitting on. Us cats can make ourselves look like we've been comfy settled for hours really fast and it worked for Josie. Mum sat back down at the other end of the sofa.

So you see sometimes I am the good boy, all quietly sleeping, and Josie is the naughty cat!


Being misunderstood

April 8th 2013 10:33 pm
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Nothing scary happened yesterday but I am still making sure I stay close to my mum when she's home in case she needs me to protect her from anything. So there we all were yesterday. Mum on the sofa and me on the arm near to her and Josie was on the bed by the radiator toasting herself.

She was all happy and warmedly and this did not please me so I went and told Josie to move. Which she did. I am top cat here and no mistake. Then I went back to sit by mum who was grumpy with me.

"What did you do that for?" she asked. "You didn't want to sit there yourself so why move poor Josie? Sometimes you are a mean cat."

Josie heard the sympathetic tone and jumped up on mum's lap where mum made a proper fuss of her as she settled into a curled up purring ball of fur.

"You like Josie on your lap, don't you?" I pointed out. "I was just rearranging her to make you happy. How is that a mean thing? She's happy now, you're happy."

Mum went "Hmmm" and I suspected I was not quite forgiven. It took quite a lot of purrs and kisses before she mellowed with me. Mum hopes I will become a kinder cat as I grow up but I like being the boy in charge!!


I didn't like my weekend

April 7th 2013 10:40 pm
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When mum came home from work on Friday Josie ran to greet her but I held back.

"Are you OK sweetie?" mum asked.

"I have seen terrible things," I replied.

"Maybe supper will make you better," she suggested and that's usually a good idea but I couldn't relax. I kept jumping.

"What has got into you?" asked mum. Josie just shrugged her shoulders and went out leaving mum to try and comfort me as best she could.

Then when mum went to draw the curtains she saw what had happened. There was a big ivy plant growing up the side of the building and a man came to pull it down. I thought he was trying to break into the flat and steal our food, maybe even Da Bird as my most precious thing.

Mum said she knew he was coming but hadn't warned us as she didn't know exactly which day. The reason Josie was Ok is that she's scared of something every day so that's normal for her. I'm usually pretty brave but he sounded like he was attacking the very fabric of our home.

Then on Saturday upstairs had drilling and banging going on. Mum said they were fixing the bathroom so we won't get any more leaks but it was noisy and scary.

Then on Sunday two mystery cats came in our garden and sat and stared in the window. They didn't do anything aggressive, just seeemed to think they would like to come in. Mum said not to worry - she's not letting any more cats in. She reckons two is enough.

It took me quite a lot of cuddles before I could get to sleep last night I can tell you.

Hopefully now it's Monday things will go back to normal again.


Mum's question for us

April 4th 2013 10:46 pm
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"Did you come into my life normal cats and go crazy or did I just get the mad ones?" - she was looking at Josie as she asked this but I was in the room so she meant me too.

It's fairly well known that mum and I have our different views of the world and Josie is normally the quiet one but she has her little excursions into the peculier and she was having one last night.

You'll see in my photo Josie in the background perched by the TV and the TV is sitting on a unit. The unit has shelves inside for the box and DVD player only they aren't in there. The engineer gave mum a talk about over-heating appliances last time he came and the DVD player doesn't work.

Mum asked Josie if she can remember why the DVD player doesn't work but Josie doesn't think she can actually. Mum says it's because every time the disc drawer slid in and out Josie tried to catch it and apparently it's not good for disc drives to be tugged back as they try and slide in. Mum did try and stop her but Josie can move fast and from unexpected angles when she needs to.

So anyway the unit has a round hole in the back for all the wires only there aren't any. What had surprised mum last night was Josie's face peering through that hole and a paw sweeping round to see what she could grab from inside the unit. It's all DVDs pretty much so the answer was nothing but that didn't stop Josie continuing to peep in and then reach as far as she could.

And that's what made my mum wonder why her cats aren't the peaceful companions that her friends imagine. Did she get the wrong cats or is it her?

Don't worry - she loves us exactly as we are!!I know that because I keep reminding her.


The correct etiquette

April 3rd 2013 10:36 pm
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Mum and I have a disagreement on what the correct etiquette is in a particular situation.

It is still really cold so Josie and I didn't go out for long last night and mum entertained us with a selection of our top toys until we got sleepy. Then Josie settled on mum's lap and I settled on the arm of the sofa next to her and we were the cosiest household in Cosy Town.

I slept for some time and woke up all refreshed and ready but mum was just staring at the TV. She hadn't even noticed me wake up so I grabbed her hand and bit it. Not hard, just to let her know I was awake.

Mum was more surprised than hurt which just shows you how badly she was ignoring me. She said, "ow" and shook her hand and then the disagreement happened.

She said the polite thing to do is to warn of the bite with some tail flicks so she has a chance to move her hand out of the way and give me a toy to attack instead. I say the polite thing to do is to gaze admiringly at me at all times so she will know when I need attention and not need biting.

Josie says cats shouldn't bite the hand that feeds and if we want mum we should give her a gentle head rub or maybe a little lick but she's such a goodie two shoes that I don't listen to her.

So we haven't agreed which is the correct etiquette but I'm pretty sure I'm right.


The Grape Escape

April 2nd 2013 10:39 pm
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Mum was boooorrrrriiinnngg last night. She was marking assignments so all she was doing was riffling paper and muttering, "Good. Very good.","You haven't really answered the question," and "Where is Part B? Please tell me you haven't missed Part B." (They had.)

A cat who is honoured with being a Diary Pick should really get all the attention in the home but all I got was the odd head rub and a promise she wouldn't be long.

But I am a resourceful boy and can find my own amusement at such times. I looked around at what else was on the table. Fruit bowl. Hm. What might be in there? Ah, grapes! My favourite fruit. I had fun picking one that wasn't attached to the rest and hoicking it out of the bowl. Then I chased it all around the table and mum laughed so I had her attention. Then it escaped off the table and I jumped down in hot pursuit.

More fun chasing it then on to other toys.

It wasn't until later I saw mum doing something interesting. She was poking around under the chairs and behind the curtain.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"Looking for your grape," she replied.

"He's long gone," I told her.

"Grapes don't just go. Where is he?" she wanted to know.

"You have lots of other grapes. Eat one of them. That one's mine." I told her.

But mum said she really wanted to find my grape. She said otherwise time will do its thing and she'll be able to find it from a smell of rotting fruit and a buzz of fruit flies. That sounded like the more interesting option so I left her to it.

The story ends happily. She never did find the grape but she did find one of Josie's toy mice that she had lost. She is going to look again today in the light but he is very well hidden so this could be more fun for us to watch.

Thank you to everyone for your kind messages on me being a Diary Pick. I feel very special.


More fun with the jigsaw

April 1st 2013 10:37 pm
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Mum was doing more of her jigsaw yesterday. She was muttering about why on earth had she chosen one with so very many pieces.

Now I am a kindly cat and I could help so I started taking some away so she would have fewer. I even found, now she has more linked together, that by pulling on one I could get a whole string which was brilliant.

Mum wasn't as grateful as you would expect and we got into a game of whacky paw every time she saw me reach for one. Then Josie heard us arguing and came to see what was going on.

She decided to stop the argument completely by plonking herself down in the middle of the jigsaw so mum couldn't do it any more anyway.

Mum laughed at us and said we aren't the restful companions people fondly imagine.

I don't know what she meant. We had been peacefully sleeping some time and were awake and ready for action. Mum persuaded Josie to get up, folded the puzzle away and out came da Bird. Excellent.

Talking of birds I haven't exactly caught an outdoors one yet but I had a good few attempts yesterday. They do keep flying away which many would call cheating but mum calls a very good thing. She is a bit odd sometimes.

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