Toby's Diary

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Josie the model cat

May 2nd 2013 10:33 pm
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Mum said to Josie that now it is May it is nearly time for Nahid's birthday. Mum always makes Nahid a card with a photo of Josie on. Mum said she had an idea and needed Josie to pose like she was sniffing a flower.

Josie tried but couldn't quite imagine that so mum got a wooden tulip and propped it up in our pokey paw box and asked Josie to sniff that.

Josie rubbed her head against it to give it a scent worth sniffing - which knocked it down. Mum propped it up again. Josie pushed it down again. Mum propped it up again. Josie started chewing its wooden leaves. Mum sighed.

The upshot is that mum has a number of photos none of which she is sure whether she can use.

I did think Nahid might like to have me instead this year on her card but as it was Nahid who looked after Josie when she was a stray and found my mum for her mum thinks Nahid will like a Josie picture best.

Other than that all is well. We are having lovely sunshine and I'm happily shedding my winter coat. Mum brushed me and brushed me yesterday and then said, "That should be all of it", gave me a stroke and looked in dismay as a handful of fur fluttered down. It is true. I do have an infinite supply of loose hairs right now. I love Spring!


Ecstatic Cat Warning

May 1st 2013 10:32 pm
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You may have gathered that our mum is not the sharpest claw on the paw but Josie and I are fond of her.

I like to sit on the arm of the sofa and exchange nose rubs with her and then she scritches my head and strokes my back and I feel all warmedly and loved and I purr my very loudest.

That's what we were doing last night when I felt something wet fall on my foot. I looked at it. Yes, definitely damp. I looked up.

"Do we have another leak from upstairs?"

Mum laughed. "No, crazy cat. You were dribbling."


When I get really loved up and happy my head is all full of bliss and, well, I sort of forget to swallow. I can't remember dribbling on myself before but mum says I often dribble on her and even more on the sofa which doesn't move out of the way.


Still - she keeps stroking me so I don't think she minds too much and I have no intention of stopping getting all blissed up so I've decided not to worry about it!


People Biscuits v. Kitty Biscuits

April 30th 2013 10:31 pm
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I was having such a lovely snuggle with my mum yesterday morning and she said I am very hard to leave.

"I know," I purred, "so don't"

But she did. She said she was running Time Management training and if there's one course she must turn up in good time and be organised for it's that one. At least that made a change. So far as I can judge most of her courses are about how to say stuff. How hard can that be? Deep breath, open mouth "meow". Done. If that doesn't work, deeper breath, louder "meow" Done. If that doesn't work, whacky paw. I could so do her job.

Anyway off she went with armfuls of paper and she came back with much less paper and some left over people biscuits. Later that evening she made a big cup of tea and sat down to enjoy her biscuits.

I've never had people biscuits or don't think I have so I was most intrigued. I like to learn. I gave them a very thorough sniff.

"You won't like them Toby" said my mum.

It's true they don't smell of nice things like chicken or tuna but they smelled of vanilla and was that a hint of butter? Best check. So I started licking one.


"I'm not eating your biscuit. I'm just licking it. It's rather tasty actually"

My mum is so selfish, she couldn't bear to see me happy. She threw away my licky biscuit and put the others out of my reach. She said something about the sugar being bad for my teeth.

So Kitty Biscuits win because they smell better and mum doesn't steal them but People Biscuits are nicer than you might imagine. I wonder if I could get my one out of the bin and try it with tuna juice?


Being nice cats

April 29th 2013 10:41 pm
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Some cats are mean but sometimes it's not their fault. Smudge, who lives next door, arrived as a stray. He used to beat me and Josie up if he ever got the chance but when they adopted him next door they took him for his op and now he's a sweetie pie, all happy and domesticated and we exchange no more than the occasional look.

And the new stray is next in line for the op. He is so horrible but they reckon if he has his op he'll turn nice too. At the moment our neighbours are trying to take his photo. The Cats Protection League won't operate on him until they are sure he is indeed homeless so they are going to put posters up and see if anyone claims him. Trouble is it turns out he is camera shy if nothing else shy!!

So mum says next door are good cat loving people so we must not be mean about Paul even if he did forget to feed us. Mum said he might not be willing to feed us again if we aren't nice cats.

"Then you couldn't go away," I said hopefully. I would like mum not to go away.

"No," said my mum. "I would go away but I would leave you food in one of those timer dishes so you would have no company and no-one checking you are all OK."

If mum must go away we would like people to talk to us and just in case we needed any help at all.

So we are practising being nice. Actually mum says Josie is already a good cat, it's me that needs the work. I'm going to go out on this sunny morning and think about that one.


We nearly starved

April 28th 2013 10:35 pm
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Warning: This story may be too scary for any kittens present.

It began well enough. We were all happy on Saturday morning. Mum was pootling about; I was basking in my glory of having been a Daily Diary Pick and Josie was sunbathing. Then mum went out and when she came back she had Grandpa with her. We don't see a lot of Grandpa on account of him travelling a lot. He finds that most countries have warmer weather and more sunshine than the UK and he likes to meet new people and learn about their lives and history so he isn't much at home.

He didn't even stay long in our home. Then mum grabbed big bag and they were gone.

This is where it gets scary.

For hours passed, dark-time came- but no food. We polished off the last scraps of breakfast and all the biscuits mum had left and then all we had were our rumbly tummies.

Dawn dawned and the birds started singing but they were outside out of reach. They sang of the tasty worms they would be catching and even worms sounded good to eat to our hungry ears. But no-one came.

It wasn't until afternoon when mum came back. I told her that we hadn't been fed at all and she said, "Toby - you always say that" and then she looked at our licked clean bowls and where they were and the food on the side and she said, "Oh dear. I think you might be telling the truth this time."

She filled our bowls and there was much rejoicing.

Then later Paul from next door knocked. Mum had remembered to ask but he had forgotten to tell the others and had been out. They've agreed mum will put any future dates in writing!

He was very sorry and mum said that was Ok and we were none the worse for our ordeal. But she wasn't the one who nearly starved.

We have forgiven her though. She had brought back some tuna fish so we could try the biscuits in tuna juice as recommended by my Catster friends. Mmmmmmmmm!! It's a recipe I highly recommend


A fish in my water

April 25th 2013 10:39 pm
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Mum changes our water every day so we have fresh. Whilst Josie prefers hers from the tap I'm very happy with my bowl and drink plenty.

But this morning mum noticed something in the bowl.

"Yeuch - what is that?" she wondered. And then "it's a fish. How did that get in there?"

Given that fish live in water that struck me as a foolish question.

"It probably swam there."

"Toby - it's not a real fish. It's a fish-shaped biscuit that looks like like it came out of your biscuit bowl. Biscuits can't swim."

Then I remembered. When I was a kitten I quite often used to dunk my biscuits in my water before eating them. It's a labour of love to get them firstly out of the one bowl and secondly into the water and last night I had been trying to test if they were as good like that as I remembered. They weren't. Which is why I left the fish in the water.


Attack cat!

April 24th 2013 10:38 pm
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Picture the scene - it was the middle of the night and all was quiet and still.

Josie was curled up in a neat ball sleeping sweetly and no doubt dreaming of summer days. She was lying on my mum's back, gently rocked by my mum's breathing as mum was deeply asleep as well.

All was calm, all was peaceful. Enter Toby.

I climbed up to the window sill to get some momentum and launched myself onto the sleeping pair - Pounce mode. It was brilliant, both of them were so startled and wide awake in seconds. Josie ran off and mum looked at me and I purred.

"That was mean," mum said.

"That was funny," I said. Then I wondered "What was you dreaming about?"

Mum thought for a moment and then said, "I was putting my feet in a bucket of cold baked beans."

She was teasing me "You weren't. That would be a stupid dream."

"Bizarrely I truly was and I have no idea why."

I can assure you my mum never puts her feet in her food.

"Probably best I woke you then," was my verdict.

"Maybe - but it will be hard to get back to sleep having woken so suddenly."

Luckily if there is one thing I know about it's how to get to sleep. Plenty of purrs and headrubs and stroking me, that's what would do it. Mum is so lucky to have us cats, even when she's sleeping her life is full of surprises.


Mum does love us

April 23rd 2013 10:38 pm
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Mum came home yesterday and said that she had been to the pet shop and they wouldn't take us. Not even part-exchange. Apparently there's no market for naughty cats.

Josie was quite relieved but I don't believe my mum went to the pet shop at all. I think she loves us and was just teasing but how to prove that?

It was a beautiful evening and mum had the doors open and she mowed the lawn and I was in and out and so was Josie and the idea came to me. I sneaked under the throw on the armchair and waited.

Mum closed the doors as the evening got later and I heard her wonder where I was when she did that. Josie was in on my plan so said to mum she last saw me in the long grass at the end of the garden.

Mum settled down; time passed. I had a lovely sleep actually.

I heard mum wonder again, "Where is that boy? I don't like it when he's out so long." Ah-hah!! So she does miss me when I'm away and love me really.

She went in the kitchen and called me through the little door but of course I was already in so I ignored her.

I let her worry about half an hour more and then gradually emerged from my hiding place. Mum was suitably happy to see me. I got a big squoodge and snuggles.

"So admit it! You don't want to give me away." I said, between purrs. Mum said no, she doesn't really, she loves us both. And she will peek under the throw if I ever go missing again as she didn't like to worry so much.

Cats are much cleverer than people and we always win in the end!


Mum wanted to swap us

April 22nd 2013 10:44 pm
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but don't worry. I've made her happy again.

It began last night. When she came back from dance class Josie and I slipped outside. Mum called us after a few minutes and Josie ran indoors but I was having too much fun. I heard mum rustle a food sachet and call me again but night-time is full of excitement and I can eat any time so I ignored her.

So she came out and tried to catch me. It was brilliant. She is rubbish at catching cats who do not wish to be caught. I would let her get really close and think she was going to grab me this time then - zoooom - I was off. Best evening ever.

Eventually she was so pathetic I took pity on her and ran inside.

Then she fed us and got ready for bed. She was brushing her teeth and had a mouth full of white, minty foam but Josie chose that exact moment to jump in the basin for a nice refreshing drink from the tap.

"Myggfftt" said mum, trying not to spit toothpaste everywhere. But Josie couldn't understand her so she finished her drink calmly and then trotted off and mum could then rinse.

Off to bed. Selfishly mum had not left very much water in her glass but Josie was still a bit thirsty so she dipped her paw in and licked it. We are not meant to dip our paws in mum's drinks so Josie only did it when mum wasn't looking. Mum could hear her though and looked up.

"I know what you're doing and stop it."

Josie responded in top cat style with a purr.

"And don't think purring makes it all Ok because it doesn't"

But of course it does.

Lights out and all to sleep. Josie settled on mum which mum doesn't mind only Josie got curious about mum's funny sticky outy nose and started batting it with a paw. Apparently that kind of thing is hard to sleep through.

"That's it. Tomorrow morning I'm going to find two well behaved cats and I'm going to swap you both" said my mum and threw the duvet over her head in a grumpy way that precluded further discussion.

I was pretty sure she didn't mean it. But what if she did? I quite like it here. I pondered this for an hour or so then decided I had best wake my mum and tell her I love her with lots of headrubs and purrs and maybe a little bit of dribbling so she would know I'm for real. Strangely that didn't make her as happy as I had thought it might. Maybe we should be swapping her for a well-behaved mum!!

But I think we are all Ok really. Mum rescued me from scary cat this morning so I think she loves me and I will rescue her if any lions come calling.


Even more scary than scary cat

April 21st 2013 10:38 pm
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When mum comes in Josie and I like to have a sniff around the porch and see which cats have been in the area and sometimes we have a little wander out the front. Not for long. Mum doesn't really like us out there. She leaves the front door open and pretty much we only get the time she takes to take her coat off.

On Friday we wandered a little further than usual and met the most frightening thing I have ever seen and it was heading right for us. I ran as fast as I could to the safety of home.

Mum saw me hurtle in.

"Hide," I called out as I ran straight past her. "It's coming".

Mum ignored me and went to the door to see where Josie was in case she was in trouble. Josie was also running as fast as she could and hurtled past mum. Before mum could turn round and ask us what was happening it rounded the doorway in hot pursuit of us cats.

It looked at mum and mum looked at it and it about turned and ran away again.

Mum shut the door firmly and we were safe.

"I think that's the dog from two doors down. She lives with a cat so probably just wanted to play."

"It didn't feel like that," I said. "Would you have fought it if it had got one of us?"

Mum smiled. "Toby - I would fight a lion for you."

Mum is so silly. "Lions are family - you don't attack your relatives. More likely I would be rescuing you if a lion came in our garden. Would you fight the dog?"

"Yes I would fight the dog. And I'm glad we're unlikely to be able to test your lion theory."

After that scary start - it's the closest I've ever been to a dog and the closest I ever want to be to a dog - it was an top weekend. It was much warmer and sunny and mum had a bad cold so spent a lot of it snoozing on the sofa where we joined her so that was cosy happy.

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