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Toby's Diary

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Christmas must be coming

September 11th 2014 10:09 pm
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Mum got one of those little catalogues through the post yesterday.

At the beginning were all things she might like to get for her many cat-loving friends. Mugs with cats on; cat ornaments; stationery with cats on; and more and more. I suppose when we go out they need cats to look at until we come home again.

But it was the last part of the catalogue that caught my eye - presents for cats. Tasty treats, shiny bowls and toys - toys galore.

"I want that one. And that one. Ooooh - and that one," I helpfully pointed out.

"They do look fun," she agreed, "and the cats in the pictures certainly like them." Then she paused. "But would you actually play with them?"

"Of course!"

"Like your track with the ball in, your three-pronged tunnel, your box full of toys.."

"Oh them. Bored of them," I replied. "These would be new toys. I would love them"

I have clawed a couple of pages of the things I particularly especially want Sandy Claws to bring me so there can be no mistake. Mum remains unconvinced.


It's my garden

September 10th 2014 10:35 pm
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When mum came home last night we had our supper (are any of the other Northern Hemisphere cats getting extra hungry now it's cooler? Josie and I are.)

Josie went out in the garden but I hung back.

"Don't you want to go out Tobes?" asked my mum.

"Er, no," I replied. "I think I'll stay in and keep you company."

"Hm," said my mum. "That's not like you."

Then she looked out of the window and there, at the far end of the garden, bold as brass, sat Leo.

"Shall I ask him to go?" asked my mum. I am not afraid of Leo and could easily get him to go myself but "If you're going out anyway. He might scare Josie," I said.

So mum fetched the keys for the back door and went to open it, eyes on Leo and then, "What was that?" A tiny tabby had been sniffing around the back door and on hearing the keys flew the length of the garden to where Leo was keeping an eye on him. It was Jasper, next door's kitten.

So now we have two of them invading! Once I was sure they had both gone I did go out but I hope Jasper doesn't make a habit of visiting. Mum says she hopes he will as he is so cute. You would think she didn't have two perfectly good cats of her own!


Every cloud

September 9th 2014 10:36 pm
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My mum was really late home last night.

"Where have you been?" I demanded to know. "Did you forget your two poor starving kitties with just empty bowls for company?"

Mum sighed. "There was a lorry fire on the motorway so I came by the back roads - along with half of London!"

A thought struck me. "Did you..?" I peered around her. "You did!"

When my mum doesn't drive along the motorway she often takes a route that passes right by a very large Pet Shop, and a large carrier bag with the smiley cats and dogs on it proclaimed that not only had she been in but she had made some purchases. Excellent.

"Did you look at the kittens?" I asked, thinking she had better not have.

"They didn't have any. Only birds and mice and stuff," she replied. Could my day get any better? I ran across to the bag to vestigate. "Which did you get us? Birds? Mice? Dare I guess both?"

But mum says she would no way buy anything we would kill so there was nothing alive in that bag.

But there are were biscuits we never had before, a new flavour of treats and some balls for Josie and a flying feather toy for me.

So my mum may have had to spend hours crawling through queues of traffic but we got a bag full of goodies so it was all worth it!


Secret SuperStar Cats

September 8th 2014 10:38 pm
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My mum was watching a programme last night about famous cats (and dogs.) It was quite something to see just how much people love the cats they see on TV and on the interweb.

"I could be a SuperStar Cat!" I commented. "Actually I pretty much am one."

Mum scratched my head and gave me a kiss. "You are," she replied.

Then we saw Grumpy Cat and her adoring fans. She was being held up so they could all see her and they all wanted their picture taken with her. I considered this - I don't specially like being held and I don't specially like crowds of noisy people and I don't specially like to travel.

"I think I'll stay being a Secret SuperStar Cat," I decided.

"I think that's wise," said my mum. Grumpy Cat seemed quite happy but mum couldn't imagine the adoring fans being quite so adoring if it was me, refusing to come out of my box.

Sometimes your own home with your favourite snoozy places and your own toys is the most wonderful place to be. Heck with it, your own home is always the most wonderful place to be. I will leave the razzmatazz to those other cats!


I tried to trick my mum

September 7th 2014 10:06 pm
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I had a big, bad argument with Leo from next door at the weekend. He is a mean cat. Mum heard us and opened the front door. That distracted him long enough for me to make a run for it over the back gate and round to our magic door. I heard the front door close and mum run through the flat, expecting me to be coming in the kitchen.

Hm. I wasn't particularly happy that she had to rescue me so I needed to think how I was going to redeem this situation.

I saw her through the glass door, watching me, so I decided to go for the sympathy vote. I sat there and then suddenly flumped to the ground. It worked perfectly.

"Oh my goodness Toby!" I heard her say but when I looked up - where was she? Had she abandoned me in my hour of need? I scrambled up and through the flap to find out what she was doing.

Rookie error Toby! Of course - she had run for the keys to open the kitchen door and reach her poor unconscious kitty. Only I wasn't unconscious. I was very much conscious and walking towards her.

She was gratifyingly concerned about me all weekend after that but mercifully not so much we went to the vet which was a possible consequence I had not considered.

Other than that it was a top weekend. Mum was home a lot so there were snuggles and some bonus snacks and it was sunny and warm.

I just wish Leo was a nicer cat. Mum spoke to Victoria about him and they reckon he is fed up at home of being pounced on by Jasper the kitten. I can understand that might be hard. Obviously when I was a kitten I was a delight from Day One (that is a nasty cough Josie has there!) but I can see that a kitten can be hard work for the established cat.

Anyway I'm sure we'll all work it out.


Josie's game

September 4th 2014 10:20 pm
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Mum was ready to sleep but Josie wasn't so she decided to have a bit of fun at mum's expense. While my mum was brushing her teeth Josie was with her in the bathroom, determinedly trying to reach the inaccessible gap behind the loo.

"There's something there and I have to reach it," she was muttering, trying to get at it from each side.

"Is there?" asked my mum nervously. (Actually through the frothy blue toothpaste it was more like 'Shish wear'?) She hadn't seen either of us bring anything in but that's no guarantee that we haven't.

"It's late. I can't deal with it now, whatever it might be," she added, once all the ablutions were complete and Josie was still excitedly pawing into the dark hidey-hole.

Mum went to bed and was reading her book so I joined her, purring loudly to drown out whatever Josie was up to. When Josie joined us she had a cobweb draped on her head so she had got close to it - whatever it was. Innocent toy or unfortunate creature?

I know of course but I'm enjoying watching mum fret about the possibilities so I'm not saying.


Signs summer is going

September 3rd 2014 10:36 pm
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I let my mum sleep in this morning but we were all woken by a thud, scrabble, scrabble, scrabble.

That was Josie chasing lights as they ran across the wall. She hears the car coming, jumps up on the drawers and waits and then, when the headlights shine across the room, she pounces. In the summer it's light by the time the cars come so she's delighted to revive that game.

But it means we must be coming to autumn. Sighs!

One good thing is that mum is back in her big fluffy dressing gown. The little cotton one isn't nearly so good for paddy paws so I like that.

And we known it's cooler because Josie has been sleeping on mum's lap - it was too hot for both of them before.

I am making the absolute most of being outside while it is still warm enough. I don't want to waste a single drop of sunshine.


Rise and Shine!

September 2nd 2014 10:37 pm
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I needed a stroke so I woke my mum with a gentle meow and tapped her face gently so she would get the idea.

"I am trying to sleep," she said.

"And I am trying to get strokes. Do keep up!" I replied.

She did stroke me - few can resist my fuzzy face but "many people shut their cats out of the bedroom at night so they can sleep," she said darkly.

I considered this option but, never a fan of the closed door, I rejected it.

"No thank you. I like to be able to see you when I wake up," I said.

That went down well, I got extra rubs and I rumbled my purrs in appreciation.

"And I like to see you too. I was just wondering if we could be doing this a bit later. I thought the light was waking you two but it's getting darker in the mornings and you're still at the 5.30am wake up call."

I like my early mornings with mum before she starts dashing about and muttering about being ready for work so whilst I said everything that she seemed to expect I don't plan on stopping the snuggles any time soon. I'm pretty sure she won't shut us out!


It was in our way

September 1st 2014 10:38 pm
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When we wake up the sun is shining in the bedroom window and it wends its way across the sky to warm up the sitting room in the afternoon. So to enjoy it the most we like to share the bedroom window sill in the morning and move through to the pouffe etc in the sitting room later in the day.

Trouble is that mum will insist on putting stuff on the window sill and there's not really room for both of us and the stuff. Josie was complaining about this yesterday.

"Mum will be grumpy if you throw it off," I commented.

Josie considered this. Then inspiration struck. "I'll do it at night, while she's asleep, then she won't realise."

Excellent idea Josie. So last night that's what she did. When all was peaceful and still and mum safely off dreaming (hopefully of us) Josie crept noiselessly to the window sill, one swipe of the paw and the job was done.

You wouldn't believe how much noise an ornament makes falling off a window sill, behind a bed.

Mum sat up, "What the heck was that?"

It took her a while to get back to sleep. We are keeping out of her way this morning


People are very odd

August 31st 2014 10:41 pm
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Mum was home most of the weekend which was great. I like knowing she's around for when I need my tummy rubbing. Indeed I was enjoying just such attentions when she said she had to go and then said something else.

I shook my ears. "I'm so sorry - I didn't catch what you said. It sounded as if you said Alison is going to have a bucket of iced water thrown over her and you're filming it. Obviously it wasn't that!" I had a chuckle at the notion.

"It was," said my mum.

There are three obvious flaws with the sentence. One: Alison is lovely, never turns up without some sort of treat for me and Josie. Why would someone throw water at her? Two: Why would my mum not be going to rescue her rather than stand idly by while this terrible thing happens? Three: What kind of an optimist would trust my mum with anything technological?

But my mum was adamant that there really is a thing called the Ice Bucket Challenge and off she went. She came back some time later and confirmed that iced water had been poured over Alison.

"And did you manage the filming part OK?" I asked, fearing that I knew the answer.

There was a shame-faced pause. "The red light was flashing - I really thought I was filming. I don't know what I did wrong." And then, "I did offer to film it again but surpringly enough Alison wasn't that keen to repeat the experience."

My mum has a good head-scratching technique that makes me purr and is pretty nifty with a sachet of cat food but never, never, never trust her with technology!!

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