Toby's Diary

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Our Exceedingly Clever Plan

December 11th 2012 10:33 pm
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When our mum came home from work and went in her bedroom and saw what we had done she burst out laughing.

"Really, cats?" she said, "You really think this will work? I'm tempted to leave it there and see what happens"

I'll explain. As everybody knows in a couple of weeks Sandy Claws will come and all the good cats will receive toys and treats but there will be none for the naughty cats. Trouble is that being good is sadly over-rated. We don't like it one little bit. Naughty is much more fun.

Josie and I were talking about this and I said I wished we had our stockings now and we could put them out and maybe Sandy Claws would come early and fill them and we could go back to normal again - and enjoy all our presents. Then Josie said she knows where mum keeps our stockings - they are under the bed with other Christmas things. And Josie's bed which is how she happened to see them.

It wasn't the easist task to fetch the stocking and leave it by the end of mum's bed and we agreed we would share the contents rather than do two but when mum came home that is what she found - an empty stocking waiting to be filled by the end of her bed and that made her laugh.

We were naturally very excited this morning but turns out Sandy Claws doesn't come just because the stocking is there. It has to be the right date too. (Mum did say maybe Josie and I had been too naughty and that is why it's still empty but that can't be right!)

Just under two more weeks of being good to go.


Things that I should not eat

December 10th 2012 10:35 pm
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I came in the room yesterday and my mum looked at me and suddenly leapt up "Toby - are you foaming at the mouth?"

"No - I'm just having a little trouble eating this."

She took hold of me and saw the strands of silvery threads that I was trying to swallow.

"Where did you get it?"

"Found it."

There followed an undignified tussle as mum was pulling at the silvery things one way and I was really trying to chew them down the other. She own. Turns out they were trimmings from her Santa tunic and not meant for cats to eat.

"How would I know that?" I grumbled but mum seemed more surprised that I would want to eat them.

The other thing I am not meant to eat is Black Treacle Cake. Mum made some and I don't normally like cake but this smelled good so I made my move. It was delicious. Sadly things with sugar in are on that list with silvery strands and I'm not to have that either. So all I am left with are my biscuits, my chunks in jelly, my treats and not sugary stuff that my shares. Hardly enough to keep a cat together.


No Sandy Claws for Josie

December 9th 2012 10:36 pm
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Mum was very busy at the weekend. She was in; she was out, she was in; she was out. She did wrap some parcels up with string. String and cats are a natural combination. When she got grumpy with me chasing it I pointed out just how many pictures she has of cats chasing string and she had to admit it's a thing us cats do.

One time she came in and she put her bags down.

"I'm exhausted," she said. "I'm having a cup of tea and a sit down before I do anything else."

So she did.

She had a lot of bags in the hall.

"Is there anything in those for us?" I asked.

"Maybe" said mum.

But Josie had decided to see for herself. Not only did she find the treats but she started to open the packet. She would have gotten away with it to if they didn't make those bags of crinkle. Mum heard the crinkle crinkle and went to see and found Josie, having hoicked our treats out of the rest of the presents was in the act of biting through to get at the tasty nuggets inside.

Mum told her she was naughty and I said no Sandy Claws for her but I was happy in the end as mum could hardly save our bag for Christmas - damaged goods you see, hardly present worthy, so we had some treats there and then.

Who says crime doesn't pay?


It's still cold

December 6th 2012 10:33 pm
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The snow has gone now but it's still really cold. Josie and I are eating loads to pad up against it and have our own insulations.

At night I decided to sleep nestled up against the warmth of my mum and she seemed happy with that too. Trouble is that when she is asleep she wiggles about. Now I'm not complaining. I'm very good. If she shifts along I shift along with her. But she woke up at about half three wanting to know why she was clinging to the very edge of the bed. She seemed to think I had pushed her there but I hadn't. I just followed her. I did not want her to fall out of bed so we had a big re-arrange.

I love her lots right now anyway as she gave us a new treat we never had before which is called Lik-e-Licks. It's in a tube and mum squeezed some in my bowl and some in Josie's and asked us what we thought. It was so delicious I licked all mine up and then licked all round the bowl in case any got spilled. I love Lik-e-Licks! josie liked hers too so mum says if we're good she'll let Sandy Claws know that we would like to see that in our stockings.



December 5th 2012 10:37 pm
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It was Josie who noticed it first. She didn't quite believe her eyes and kept going back to our door. Mum kept opening the door but Josie had absolutely no intention of going out in it.

Mums don't see so well in the dark as us cats so she didn't see the snow and my mum was getting grumpy with Josie. "I'm not opening that door again," she said.

Then we did my blog and I settled down for a snooze while she looked at the news.

"It says it's going to snow," she noted. "I hope not," but she was hoping too late.

Yesterday in my blog I said being a cat rocks. It so does. Josie and I stayed in the warm and dry as mum bundled herself up and stepped out into the sludge and snow. "Don't worry about us. We'll nestle up and stay toasty" I reassured her. She gave me a look that said she very much wished she was staying home with us and I thought how good us cats have it soemtimes!

It has all gone now but it's really cold outside so we're staying in again.


Christmas Cards

December 4th 2012 10:35 pm
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Last night mum finished off our cards. We never did pose together nicely as she had hoped we would so she just had a photo of us together on the arm of the sofa with me, realising the camera lurked, about to jump off so she went with that.

We have a Santa Sleigh theme. I'm sitting up holding the reins and Josie is nestled down among the presents. Typical that I am the one doing all the work! Mum added glitter snow underneath our sleigh and alarmingly sized snow flakes falling and she was done.

She lined them up on the mantlepiece and on Josie's page there is a new picture of Josie inspecting them. If you're wondering if they got knocked off soon after - yes, they did.

Mum was a bit spurred on as we have started receiving cards. Mum put them high up on the bookshelves so we wouldn't knock them down. Josie took one look and said, "Challenge accepted!" and climbed higher than mum has seen her before just to knock the cards down. Mum sighed, "Why?" and Josie said "because I can."

Being a cat rocks!


Jigsaw - an unlikely pastime

December 3rd 2012 10:38 pm
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My mum produced a box with a picture on. The picture has a cat in it, a little like Josie actually. But when mum opened the box - disaster.

"Oh no!" I said. "Some idiot has cut the picture up into hundreds of pieces.!

"That's OK," said my mum. "That's how I bought it."

"oh no!" I said. "Some idiot has bought a picture cut up into hundreds of pieces."

But mum reckons this is a good pastime for a winter afternoon. As you know I'm always keen to learn so I settled down to watch.

At first she flipped through all the pieces and threw most back in the box. She said she was looking for straight edges. I can do that. I pushed my paw in the box and stirred the pieces up and mum was right. That is a good pastime.

Then I noticed that she was picking out some and lining them up so I grabbed a piece and jumped under the table to arrange it how I had seen her do it.

Apparently this is a bad thing. For all that mum had hundreds of pieces for herself she couldn't spare even one. I did keep trying. I thought maybe if I chose a smaller piece or a different colour then that would be alright but my mum is so greedy she kept grabbing them back.

The jigsaw is not finished. Not by a long way so whilst mum has carefully covered everything up for now I reckon I can have another go. You wouldn't think that cutting up a picture could be such fun but it is.


Still cold

December 2nd 2012 10:36 pm
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All three of us were indoors most of the weekend keeping cosy. I had a visitor on Saturday. Victoria from next door came to see me. I think she had enjoyed feeding me so much while mum was away last weekend that she was pining for me. She had some cover story about thanking my mum for a thank you gift mum had dropped off but she came in and gave me some strokesies so I think it was really me she came to see.

I did go out of course but just for short run arounds. On Sunday Josie went outside too which surprised my mum but Josie had a very specific reason for wanting to go in the garden. When you have a sore tummy it feels really good to eat some grass and that helps clear your tummy so that's what Josie did.

She ate the grass, came back in - now where would feel comfy and safe for the unpleasant part of emptying her tummy? Ah yes, mum's bed with fresh sheets newly changed that morning. Up came the grass, up came the ikky tummy stuff and Josie felt marvellous.

Mum was less marvellous when she saw her bed but I was delighted. I love to help change the sheets. I had helped earlier and thought the fun was over for the weekend but mum changed them again. And I helped again of course.


Josie can't hibernate

November 29th 2012 10:36 pm
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Fair play to her. She gave it a good effort, snuggling in her bed and only coming out for breakfast and dinner. But yesterday suddenly she emerged.

"My legs need to bounce" she announced. So we did.

Mum actually seemed quite pleased that there were once again two cats greeting her when she came home from work so she didn't mind too much about the lamp that had unexpectedly joined in our bouncing.

Mum said maybe Josie just needed to aclimatise to the cold.

Then we played all evening together. I am still so tired.

Normally when mum types my diary I am an extremely active participant and help with the keys and everything but today I'm dictating it from my curled up relaxed position next to her. She says it would be quicker actually except I'm leaning against her left arm so it's a one hand type.

I can feel sleep coming back so will end here.


Mum's new tin

November 28th 2012 10:32 pm
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My mum has been shopping for Christmas presents and has brought home a rather fine tin. It has pictures of cats on it and sayings and the one that I find to be most true does say, "I'm only a cat and we'll get along fine as long as you know I'm not yours, you're all mine".

I'm not sure about being "only" a cat as I don't see what could be more magnificent than that but I do think my mum should remember who is the real boss in this relationship!

Mum says she is going to bake some cat shaped cookies and wrap it as a gift for one of her many cat loving friends but I think we both know deep down that she won't be able to part with it and they'll be getting something else.

Lucky for Josie and me that mum doesn't like to munch on Dreamies or play with little mice and balls or I don't think we would ever get anything.

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