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Toby's Diary

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Mum attacked Josie

June 2nd 2014 10:34 pm
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It was brilliant. I haven't laughed so much in ages!!

It was last night. I was sitting next to my mum on the bedside table while she sat up in bed and read me my bedtime story. It was pretty exciting and I didn't want her to stop but she put down the book, said it was now sleepy time, kissed me goodnight and turned off the light.

She then stretched herself out in the bed all relaxedy but there was an unexpected flurry of tortie fur.

"What was that?" exclaimed my mum.

"A polite excuse me would have sufficed," huffed Josie.

For she had also been enjoying the story, curled up further down the bed. She had heard the sleepy time instruction and nestled herself down only to find herself turfed off the bed by mum's massive people foots suddenly pushing from under the duvet.

She is still sulking this morning and didn't come out for her breakfast. I'm going to hang around as if mum feels guilty enough there'll be a tasty morsel produced and Josie likes to share. Or I like to share Josie's stuff which amounts to the same thing.


We had visitors

June 1st 2014 10:41 pm
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We know when people are coming to stay as mum clears everything out of the spare room and Josie helped mum make up the bed. Oh - mum says chasing your own tail while someone tries to make up a bed around you isn't helping. Josie tried to look contrite but couldn't quite suppress her glee. She did have a marvellous time.

The guests arrived on Saturday night. It was one of mum's old college friend's son and husband. The son, Matt, was competing in a Strong Man competition locally on Sunday. They wanted him to get a good night's sleep before.

People who do Strong Man stuff are ...well... big. All those muscles. And fathers of people who do Strong Man stuff aren't small either. Our flat isn't so big and there was a lot of people getting in each other's way. I was glad to be small enough to slide round them all.

What I didn't like was Matt did sleep in the spare room and his dad on a mattress in the sitting room so all the doors were shut. Mum doesn't normally close doors much and I like to roam at will.

What I did like is that Matt may be able to lift cars and pull trucks but he can also give a friendly cat a pretty good head scritch!

Our flat is all back to normal now. I kept well out of the way while that restiration was going on but Josie helped, despite mum's ingratitude of before. She's very forgiving luckily for mum. And mum said "Helping isn't chasing...oh what's the use!!"


Watch out for my dinner bowl! Too late!

May 29th 2014 10:37 pm
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Mum likes to tell us stories of the cats she has known and loved in the past. I'm pretty sure they aren't true. These paragons never woke her at night, came when called, sat daintily on a lap when invited etc. Nah! These are the cats of her imagination.

One thing she says is that they came to her at meal-times so their bowls were always in one place. Unless we're really especially hungry Josie and I like our food brought to us. We wait at our chosen place - hall, kitchen, sitting room, wherever we feel like that day.

Mum mutters that she can't think how she came to be our waitress but talented human trainers like us do make it look effortless.

Anyway this does mean that our bowls are rarely in a neat corner of the kitchen. Very rarely - the floor is cold in there.

So yesterday mum was walking through, plate of food in hand, when her big foot landed not on the carpet she expected but on one of our bowls and it slid beneath her. She didn't come crashing down which would have been really funny but in her efforts not to fall her hand flew around and potatoes hurtled to the ground. Josie was quick to move - she's not so keen on potatoes but there might be a little bit of butter to lick and she's very keen on that.

Mum said, "oh no!" and declared that we will eat tidily in the future as she scooped up the casualties. Lucky for her we don't believe her!


Diary of the Day

May 28th 2014 10:07 pm
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Wowser! I was very honoured to have been selected for this and for all my kind messages and gifts. I would like to thank all my Catster friends who are kind enough to read my diary and send me messages without whom there would be no Toby Blog. And I would like to thank my sisfer Josie who is sometimes annoying but mostly OK.

What's that? Mum is coughing. She thinks I accidentally missed her out - mum the Demolition Expert and Cat Novice. There was nothing accidental in her omission.

For yesterday evening mum came home all agitated. Eventually there was a knock and there was Paul from next door and he looked at her and laughed and mum said "I am SO sorry" for my mum had demolished his garden wall. On Tuesday night, driving home she had reversed and felt a knock, pulled forward and reversed properly. She checked the car, not so much as a scratch, she had been going slowly, all good.

Wednesday morning "Uh OH! That wall wasn't lying on its side when I last saw it." All hope that it had fallen down before and she hadn't noticed vanished when another neighbour walked by and said, "They've made a right mess of that," and mum had to say, "Actually I think that was me."

I say Demolition Expert as no-one can work out quite how she took out so much wall with one small knock.

And Cat Novice - at the weekend mum proudly put up black-out curtains in our bedroom. She thought if we didn't see so much light we wouldn't wake her so early. It's like she doesn't know cats at all. Of course we wake her early, that's what we do, black-out of no black-out.

But I do thank her really - she has her faults but no-one else knows quite so well how I like my tummy rubbed and Josie and I are training her so she'll turn out OK in the end.


The circle of life

May 27th 2014 10:40 pm
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I got a bird yesterday which was brilliant only mum saw me with it. She got all frantic and was trying to call me in. "OK" I thought, "I'll just bring my bird" but when I reached for it the darned thing darted away.

So next thing my mum has come out - I'm chasing the bird and she is chasing me.

"This is fun," I called to her. "We should do it more often." But the bird got the strength to fly out of reach and my mum grabbed me and in we went.

"I liked being chased and being the chaser," I said, "It's that whole circle of life thing in one small garden."

"The difference being I have no plans to kill you," said my mum. I never plan to kill the birds; they are more fun alive.

We have an update on Alfie. Mum has a photo. I hadn't realised he is a black cat like me. Funny how often my mum's friends meet me and then nothing will do for them but to have a black cat of their own. He is settling very well into his forever home but Ricky is still unhappy with him being there and is sulking. But hopefully he'll get used to Alfie soon.


The hitchhiker

May 26th 2014 10:41 pm
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Mum went to her barbecue yesterday. On the way she stopped off to pick up a friend, Stephanie, who has four cats. I think two is enough so hope she didn't get any ideas.

Mum was saying that her favourite is the Black Prince of McCleod or Prince to his friends. He is a Norwegian Forest cat and has the biggest fluffiest tail mum has ever seen. She says next time she goes she'll take a photo but she didn't have a camera.

Stephanie was saying that Prince isn't very bright. He's ten months old and still hasn't really worked out how she likes things. Mum admits to looking at her blankly. She's pretty sure we know how she likes things but whether we would ever act on that is another matter!

Anyway off to the barbecue they went and got very lucky with the weather. It stayed dry while they cooked and ate and while they went for a walk (not hunting, just walking - I did check as that seemed very odd!) And they came back just as the rain started.

It was pretty damp by the time mum came home but I needed a run so I went out. Mum was in the kitchen when I came back and she opened my door and said "You're not bringing that in."

I glanced round. "Not what?" I could see nothing.

But she had gone. She reappeared with tissue in her hand and was reaching for my hear. "Oy!" I didn't like that so darted past her and after me she ran. And then she stopped and stooped down with her tissue, "Gotcha!"

Out she went. A small slug had been riding on my head, I imagine he was after the warmth and comfort of my home but mum was having none of it.

It's pretty damp again this morning so I'll go and see if I can find him and give him another chance.


My happy weekend

May 25th 2014 11:34 pm
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Don't tell my mum as I don't want her to get complacent but I think I just had the perfect weekend. On Saturday I did lots of hunting - didn't catch anything but very nearly so I had fun and mum was happy with me. Then Sunday was sunny and warm so I spent most of the day snoozing on my bed and being gently toasted by the sun's rays.

At one point I even got too hot. What I needed was a nice, refreshing drink of water. I slid off my bed and made my way towards our water bowl but my melty bones let me down. I had to have another lie down on the way which made mum laugh. She has no idea how hot you can get in a black fur coat. I did get there in the end and felt much better for a drink.

Josie did as much sleeping in the sun as I did but without the excuse of an energetic day the day before.

Today is raining, it's a Bank Holiday and mum reckons she is off to a barbecue, planned before the weather forecast was known. She should stay home with us. I've been honing my hunting technique and am sure I can catch something today.



May 22nd 2014 10:47 pm
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It is such a beautiful morning and Josie was wide awake bright and early. She was trying to get under the duvet with mum and mum looked at her and said, "You won't settle" and Josie said indignantly that she would settle so mum sighed and lifted the duvet for Josie to snuggle underneath. Seconds later we heard a snigger, "I can't settle" and out Josie came. I bounded over to join in the fun and mum said that was probably it for sleep for the night.

As we were all awake we could get an early start on morning purrs. First we say thank you for all our blessings. Then we say sorry for all the bad things we've done - that takes mum a lot longer than it does us of course.

Then we purred for Banjo's Grandpa recovering in hospital for him to be well and home again soon.

Then we purred for two cats which are called Alfie and Ricky.

For Alfie moved into his forever home yesterday. He's was found fending for himself and then he's been at the vets as he had picked up fleas and all sorts so is delighted to find himself in a proper, loving home. He loves warm, safe places to sleep, toys to play with and plenty of food to eat. He was also delighted to find that his new home comes with a brofur, Ricky. He thinks Ricky is pawsome.

But Ricky isn't quite so happy to find himself sharing and has been sulking and staying out. Josie has a lot of sympathy for him. She reckons she wasn't so happy when I turned up but she must be remembering that wrong as I'm pretty sure I was lovable from the word go. (Oh - mum says she loved me from the moment she say my photo but that it did take Josie longer to come round to the idea!)

We hope they become friends very soon and will keep you updated.


A mysterious mystery

May 21st 2014 10:41 pm
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For my mum anyway.

On Tuesday she came home and she said, "Oh" and then "And how did they do that?"

She looked at us. Normally I love telling my mum stuff but sometimes it's more fun to watch her puzzled.

For our broken window is all fixed. She said the glazier was meant to phone her at work and she would come dashing back and let him in but there had been no phone call. Did the glazier knock on doors until he found the neighbours with keys? Did he drive up even though he knew mum wouldn't be here and Paul spotted the van? Was it paid for? The money mum put aside was still sitting in an envelope on the side.

We know of course and we are happy that we can once again sit on that window sill and watch people going by. Mum was out Tuesday night and last night but tonight she is going to try and get some answers - and pay somebody!


Josie the naughty tortie

May 20th 2014 10:36 pm
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There is a view shared by many in the feline community that when the sun gets out of bed in the morning so do the cats and so should the mums. Josie holds this view.

Dark-time a cat should be curled up in his or her own bed or nestled with their people but as soon as the light comes in the window it's time for action.

That's quite early at the moment.

This morning Josie was doing everything to get mum awake and joining in the fun - she mewed at her, she rubbed her head under mum's arm (I gather that's ticklish) and she bounced up and down mum's bed.

There's no denying it - when they took out Josie's teeth they seem to have found her naughty tortie switch and turned it on. In the last few months she's been much more vocal about what she wants. Mum sighs and says Josie used to be so good and Josie just laughs.

I did not manage to get a bird yesterday but it's a lovely sunny morning (I have some sympathy for Josie's enthusiasm to get started on the day) so I reckon I'll get one today.

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