Toby's Diary

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Our neglectful mum

June 25th 2013 10:39 pm
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You may want to get an animal welfare charity on speed dial before you read of our shameful treatment.

Mum was bustling about yesterday and she scooped up our water bowl and gave the water to the plants as she does every morning but she got distracted and forgot the very important Part Two of that process. Where was our fresh water? Where was any water?

When she came home and saw a gap where our water bowl should be her face fell.

"How did I forget? Poor cats. Here all day with no water. How could I have done that?"

How indeed?! She put some down right away but the damage was done. I was just explaining the torment of our thirst and how only a handful of Dreamies or some fresh chicken would remove the horror from my mind as mum went in her room to get changed. Her eyes fell on the glasses by her bed.

"You drank that of course. Thank goodness."

"Well, yes, there was that, but we were still tormented...."

She looked at me.

"Still I bet you're glad you haven't got around to getting a cup with a straw like some of my Catster friends suggested."

She admitted she was. To be fair to her she's never done that before and I don't think she will again - and she gave us some ham and then I found out I was a Diary Pick again which is something quite splendid so I am minded to forgive her. But if she ever does do it again there'll be trouble and hopefully it will make her forget the straw idea.


Also at the weekend

June 24th 2013 10:40 pm
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I forgot to say but we had another adventure.

On Sunday Mum was in the kitchen and all out of nowhere she fell to her knees and started hugging the washing machine. I know she likes it but this was odd. She sort of hugged and tugged and gradually it came away from the wall.

We have never seen this before and were very excited to scramble behind and see what was there. Not a lot is the answer. Mum did tell us that but we like to see things for ourselves.

Then mum started pulling at pipes and things. Naturally I like a good look and to offer encouragement and support.

"I can't do this round your fuzzy head," said my mum but you never know when a mouse or kitty treat might appear so I resisted her attempts to push me away.

In the end she gave up pulling and went next door and came back with a very scary looking metal thing so we gave her a wide berth in case she had asked them if she could borrow a cat deterent. Luckily she attacked the washing machine with this, not us, and it yielded its pipes in the end although it fought back and there was much muttering and cursing.

Turns out the washing machine is broken down. It had been making some most peculier noises and stopped spinning so everything came out all wet. I remember getting dripped on when I helped mum hang out the washing not so long away. If it will cause soggy fur then it must go and happily mum agrees.

We are to have a new one so something else to look forward to as mum will take a day off work so they can fit it. That's later this week. I love when mum takes days off work!


Missing mum

June 23rd 2013 10:41 pm
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On Saturday my mum was very excited as she was having a birthday treat from her sister - tea in a countryside hotel with cucumber sandwiches, scones and clotted cream and dainty cakes and then, and she was particularly looking forward to this part, a Moroccan Muscle Melt Massage.

Off she went. Supper time came. Supper time went. She hadn't left extra like she normally does when she thinks she'll be late. We got to thinking.

"Have they really melted her?" asked Josie.

"I don't know. Maybe."

"Maybe they did and that's why she isn't here. Maybe she can't drive. How will she get back? Will they pour her through the letter box?" worried Josie.

"More to the point - how will she reach our biscuits which for no good reason she insists on storing up high?"

We had so convinced ourselves that mum would return in liquid form that seeing her all looking normal when she finally did come back was a great relief. We had supper and then mum watched TV and both of us nestled near her. We both tapped her with our paws intermittently demanding strokeses.

"This is wonderfully cosy," said my mum. "Why can't you two be like this more often?"

"We thought they had melted you," I admitted.

She gave a contented sigh. "No, just supremely relaxed."

We stayed cosy with my mum a lot over the weekend seeing as it made her so happy.


June 20th 2013 10:40 pm
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It is warm here but not sunny. Mum keeps looking at the sky and saying it's going to rain but it keeps not and I'm making the most of it, being out in the garden whenever I can be.

Last night mum called me in and I came and she petted me and told me what a good boy I am to come when called.

"Where's my treat?" I demanded.

She looked at me and sighed. "If you were a dog it would be enough that you had made me happy."

"I am a cat. Treat now!"

Mum has been hanging out with a dog she meets on her lunchbreaks at work and apparently he always gives her a lick and a waggy tail even though she's never given him anything to eat. Stupid dog - he's really missing a trick. She's good with treats.

I continued to stand by the treat drawer and demand my treat until mum gave in and then I was ready to go back out but mum had locked up as it was bedtime. Then she commented that as I am out so much she isn't getting so much love from me.

I thought about that one and it's true so when she was all snuggled up in her pyjamas and settling to sleep she got a Toby Love Bomb - my best purrs, snuggles and some dribbles to boot. She kept muttering about needing sleep but I knew I could catch up later and I didn't want her to go another minute without knowing I do love her really.


June 19th 2013 10:38 pm
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Last night we were grumpy with our mum - where was she? Supper time came and supper time went, no sign of her.

It was really late when she finally came home.

"Where were you? We've been starved," I told her when she walked in.

"I was at the company quiz night. I left you extra biscuits." She looked in our bowl. "But clearly not enough." No, not enough.

She redeemed herself slightly having stopped at the pet shop and bought us yummy food which we shared. Then she asked, "Do you want a quick run outside before I go to bed or shall we play indoors?"

Games with mum are the best so I stayed in and we played with Da Bird and then when mum got fed up of retreiving it (I like to take it to the hall when I catch it) we played feather stick under newspaper and I shredded that pretty impressively. (If you're wondering where Josie was all this time she did mass crazy running around when mum first came back and then had to have a lie down to recover.)

Then mum said "Bed time" and I said "Good night" and headed for the door. Mum might be tired but I was in adventure mode and was keen to see what the night held.

Mum looked at me, poised by the door.

"Do I ever let you out at this stage?" she asked.

I considered this. "No, but you might."

"I won't"

And she didn't. But us cats know there's never any harm in asking. Indeed I was asking from bright and early this morning. Where mum and Dee piled up branches there's all sorts of fun to be had. I'm off to enjoy it as it's proper morning-time now.



June 18th 2013 10:36 pm
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In summer it is really important for cats (and mums) to keep hydrated. Josie and I have a big bowl of water and every day mum switches it for a clean bowl and fresh water...but we still like her water glass the best.

Mum likes to see us drink as it's healthy so she thought she would be clever. Two water glasses - one wide at the top for easy cat access; one more narrow for her. We both had a drink from our glass and agreed it was good. Then I had a drink from mum's glass to compare. Much the same really. Mum sighed and said that wasn't the plan.

So then mum tried filling our glass conveniently to the brim and hers only half-full. Now the best kitty food comes in tiny tins - if there's less of something it's usually tastier - so we both went for mum's glass this time and topped up from the other glass when we could reach no more.

She might as well give up. Josie and I share a bowl happily so I don't know where she gets the idea she should have one of her own from!


Doing garden work

June 17th 2013 11:21 pm
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Yesterday started scary but ended happy.

My friend Dee came round carrying a step ladder and some scary looking implements. Normally my friends sit down, drink coffee and entertain me but Dee just waltzed straight through into the garden and my mum followed.

"See what I mean?" said my mum.

"OK," said Dee. "If we start on this big bush here.."

And they started hacking away at my favourite bush, chop, choppety,chop. I watched from a very safe distance. At one point they saw me, "Here's Toby" but being greeted by someone clutching shears is a bit scary so I moved to where they couldn't see me.

At one point I heard my mum say, "Shouldn't we stop now? The bin is full." That is my mum's normal gardening philosophy. But Dee carried on and they stacked all the rest of the branches.

Eventually they were done. Mum reckons the garden looks bigger and brighter. I went for a good explore - and so did Josie when she thought it was really safe. There are fewer hiding places which is good as scary cat won't be able to hide but bad as I like hiding places. Mum has left me some long grass as I like playing in that. Josie likes it as there are fewer out of reach perching places for the birds.

Mum says it will all grow back in time but when they cut bits off me they didn't so I don't know how she is so sure.

Anyway we were all tired by the evening but perked up no end when mum announced that once again I have been honoured with a Daily Diary Pick!! So a very happy ending to my eventful day.


Mum's birthday

June 16th 2013 11:13 pm
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Birthdays are fun even when they aren't yours. We helped mum open her presents and we celebrated with her with a tin of the most delicious cat food. Neither of us managed to get another bird but mum said kitty kisses from me and a lap snuggle from Josie were all she wanted from us and she got that.

There are a few things about birthdays that aren't so good though. Firstly I was a bit shocked when mum told me how old she is now - only she then told me in cat years and it wasn't so scary.

Then there's cards. I don't mind them so much but mum has them all over and where Josie likes to sit on the mantlepiece. There is a certain theme I couldn't help but notice.

"Do your friends know that you like cats then?"

"I may have mentioned you once or twioe."

On the pictures I can count one giraffe, one bunch of flowers and then about twenty cats.

The other thing - for all mum's words it seems we aren't enough for her on her special day and she left us and then came back with even more presents and cards.

But today is our day. Mum's work give her a day off for her birthday and that's today so snuggles and garden time and food on demand and that's what I call a happy birthday.


My chicken

June 13th 2013 10:34 pm
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So there I was, quietly sitting in the kitchen, minding my own business when mum came in.

"Toby!" she exclaimed. "You're not allowed on the kitchen sides."

"I'm not on the kitchen sides," I retorted. I was very much on the kitchen floor.

"But you have been," she said.

I considered my paws. Hm. Definitely dry. No tell-tale paw prints.

"What makes you think that then?"

"Because I left a piece of chicken on the side and now that piece of chicken is in shreds on the floor."

Well that one was hard to deny and it was delicious.

"I expect it was for me anyway," I commented.

"It was but I had intended you would share with Josie" she replied.

"Ah - one of life's many disppointments."

But mum had other ideas not specially liking to be disappointed and grabbed part of my chicken - MY chicken mind, that I had hunted down off the kitchen side and gave it to Josie. I did let her. I was quite full but this stage.

"How did you even know the chicken was there?" mum wanted to know.

Ah the beauty that is the sensitivity of the cat nose, we can sniff out anything we want - and I wanted chicken!


Being a purry cat

June 12th 2013 9:58 pm
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Yesterday I had such a great evening. I was a Catster Diary Pick and felt extremely proud and special. I did lots of running in the garden and I had lots of snuggling and tummy rubs with my mum.

When it came to bedtime I sat on the bedside table and I thought about my happy day and I purred. My mum was settling herself down to sleep and I looked at her all peaceful and I purred some more.

She opened her eyes and looked at me.

"Sleepy time now Toby"

"I'll just sit here and purr a bit longer."

She closed her eyes again. Then opened them.

"I can't sleep with you purring like that. I keep thinking you'll do something."

How unkind. "I won't" I assured her.

Eyes closed again. More purrs and you know, I do love my mum and I would let her sleep contentedly. I reached out one paw and stroked her gently on the cheek.

Eyes pinged open. "That's exactly what I'm talking about."

She does that to me, little strokes while I'm sleeping. Life can be unfair.

Ooooooh - a big enormous spider has just run across the carpet. I'm off to catch it before my mum sees it and gets scared.

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