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Toby's Diary

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More Jasper Kitten

July 1st 2014 10:47 pm
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When mum got home last night there was a note for her from next door. They were out for the evening - could she go and love Jasper for a while to keep him company?

I would like to say that my mum responds to all requests for help with such undiluted glee but they don't all involve kittens so that wouldn't be true. She put down our dinner and she was gone.

She returned some time later, smelling of kitten and once again full of how cute he is, how he purred non-stop, how dainty his mew, how tiny his paws and on and on it went. She had left him chowing down his kitten chunks with a not so dainty appetite.

"Ah, kitten chunks" I reminisced, hoping to remind her that I was her cutie-pie kitten once, "How I loved those."

She gave me that look. "You refused to eat them. Straight on to big boy cat food for you. Luckily Josie liked the kitten size food."

I've been giving her lots of affection as I don't want her thinking we need a kitten here. It's bad enough sharing with Josie.


Things that are not cool

June 30th 2014 10:26 pm
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Josie always gets pretty excited at dawn. When the light wakes her she springs up and does her Morning Happy Dance and is so excited that the miracle has happened again - we have another day. Then she goes to tell my mum in case she hasn't already woken up and seen it for herself.

For two terrible mornings at the weekend she woke up and found no mum so she is even more hyper than usual to find mum in her own bed where she belongs. This is not cool. She's even been sitting on mum's lap and mum goes, "Awww! I missed you too."

Not cool, Josie, not cool.

Also not cool is my mum. She came bounding in last night and said, "I must go next door. They have a kitten."

She was gone one hundred hours and came back all gooey and all he is so cute and so tiny and so perfect. He is tabby and called Jasper and ten weeks old and has little paws and a tiny meow ..... and on and on she went. I was a kitten once you know!

So I'm the only sensible one left in the house. Sighs. I better go out before I turn peculier too.


Mum went away again

June 29th 2014 10:38 pm
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I was good to my mum - there were headrubs, there were snuggles, there was even a bird. You'll be expecting to read that she showered me with gifts and gratitude all weekend.

But you would be wrong. So wrong (shakes head sadly.)

For she abandoned us. Big Bag appeared and she was off. We were only saved from starvation by the kindly intervention of our neighbours bringing much needed rations.

She came back last night. She had been in Norfolk staying there. She said they set up an armchair with a footstool and blanket so she could rest her foot so all she had to do was hobble from chair to kitchen for meals, back to chair and then to bed.

"I felt..." a pause while my mum considered how this had been, "well, like a cat. Soft comfy place to food to soft, comfy place and no obligations."

Is that how she sees us? To think of all the dragons and griffins I have saved her from and she thinks I just sleep and eat.

Although she may have a point with Josie.


Sometimes I love my mum

June 26th 2014 10:43 pm
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It rained and rained last night. I was out when it started and had to make a run for it. I came in all soggy and my mum made me feel all warmedly as she dried me off.

We didn't mind being indoors last night at all. Mum lay in bed with her book and I snuggled down on her legs and Josie on her chest and we listened to the rain and were cosy as can be.

"Am I just some kind of kitty mattress?" asked my mum.

"So much better than that," I assured her. She looked pleased. "You're warmer than the mattress." She looked disgruntled and Josie had to do lots of purring before our mattress....I mean our mum...settled down again.

I didn't sleep on my chair last night preferring to stay close to mum and this morning I gave her the ultimate proof that I love her and she's more than just a mattress - I caught her a bird. I think she wants to save it for later as she's not letting me bring it in just yet. She is odd.


Scary flying thing

June 25th 2014 10:49 pm
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In the winter staying in at night makes perfect sense - snuggling where it's warm and cosy, listening to the rain is delightful. But in the summer not so! The evening gets deliciously cool and exciting and cats should prowl but our mum keeps us in. She reckons she couldn't sleep if she didn't know we are safe but I think she could.

Anyway last night out we pinged when she came back late evening. Now this was more like it, sniffing round the shadows. We had no intention of coming in even though she called and rattled our dinner bowls. It's not like she could catch us - not even normally and specially not now she's hop-a-long.

But then there was a strange rattling noise from the sky, getting closer and closer, louder than any dragon I even saw. It came closer and we could see a massive flying thing coming after us. It flew to and fro searching for us kitties. We both ran as fast as we could indoors.

Mum shut the door fast and laughed. "It's just a helicopter," she said, "Probably the police."

Josie and I looked at each other. She called the police on us! She really is serious about bedtime. She swears she didn't and it was just coincidence but we were definitely safer in and out of its sights.


Just what are the rules?

June 24th 2014 10:38 pm
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An exciting buzzy thing came in the flat yesterday - all stripey black and yellow and just waiting to be caught.

"Stand back," I called, "I've got this one." I set off in pursuit.

But my mum hobbled to her feet. "It's a wasp Toby. Leave it. I'll get it."

Well, she's still very uneven when she walks and I'm excellent at catching things so I was happy to race her. Josie fancied her chances too so she was after it as well.

"It will sting you if you catch it," said my mum but we didn't believe her. Little thing like that, really!! It couldn't hurt us.

We were never able to prove it though as it flew to the window and mum wafted it out with a magazine.

So mum reckons catching birds is bad; little black and yellow things is bad; when we caught a fly that was good and we are Ok to chase the moths and each other.

Too many rules!! I'll just keep chasing everything and see what happens.


Looking after my mum

June 23rd 2014 10:46 pm
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Off she went yesterday to the Fracture Clinic. She said the doctor was nice but the nurse did yank her toe around rather when strapping it back up and mum had to remind her it was broken. Anyway she is just to rest it and go back in two weeks.

She did then go to work. She reckons she has a lot on this week and there's nothing wrong with her brain - how can she tell??!!

Her boss said maybe she should wear shoes around the house to prevent this happening again so mum said she worries about stepping on us which has happened. With bare feet at least she realises before damage is done and she would rather break her own foot than our paws.

I thought that showed a proper sense of priorities until she added that's because she has to pay for our treatment but not her own.

No dance class for her last night so she stayed home with her foot up which I liked and I gave her special purrs and snuggles.

Then she stood up and went "Aiiieeeoooww!" and had to sit down again.

"Is your toe worse?" I asked, unsure how this could be.

"It's my ankle," she replied. Turns out where she had been limping all day she had pushed the muscles around in odd ways and after a bit of rest they were making their views known on the matter.

This morning it's the same, ankle worse than toe. Josie was quite fascinated watching mum walk that way and stared which mum said was rude. I think it would be best to go out before they start arguing.


Mum's broken her toe

June 22nd 2014 10:44 pm
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She did this once before but obviously has learned nothing from that experience as she's gone and done it again.

I knew no good would come of her habit of flattening her clothes on that big board thing and sure enough - she was walking across to put them in the cupboard and kicked the bed as she passed.

She looked down and "That's not good" and then "It surely shouldn't stick out at quite that angle" and then "I think I need a little sit down."

She decided she had a choice between never wearing shoes again (they wouldn't fit over the right-angle toe) and going to the Minor Injuries Unit so, one foot bare and peculier toe, and off she went. They agreed with her it wasn't good so yesterday off she went for an X-ray and looking at that they've sent her to the Fracture Clinic today.

So she had to spend most of the weekend with her foot up. I asked if it hurt and she said only if she knocks it, which she tries not to do. And now they've straightened it up for her she can look at it without coming over woozy which is better.

It was a beautifully warm and sunny weekend so I delegated nursing duties to Josie and went to see if I could find a mouse or bird or something to cheer my mum up. I didn't manage to catch anything but was still more useful than Josie who accidentally strayed in the path of a sunbeam. Well, you know how that is. Once the warm gets in you all you can do is sleep so that's all Josie did.

I quite liked knowing my mum was sitting, feet up, just waiting for me to come home, but she says she'll be better soon. (She hopes!)


My annoying mum

June 19th 2014 10:40 pm
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This morning my biscuit bowl was empty, licked clean and not a single crunchie left. This is never good but I felt reassured when my mum picked it up and reached for the box. But it was not there.

She started rootling in the cupboards muttering, "I know I bought a new one."

I was standing behind her, mewing piteously so she would understand the gravity of the situation.

"I'm sure I bought a new one. Where is it?"

"Don't tease me like this. I need biscuits and I need them now," I said.

She pointed at my other bowl. "You have soft food. Eat that for now."

You can imagine my bewilderment. It was my biscuit belly that was empty, not the other one, soft food wouldn't help at all. I kept the mewing going.

"Oh Toby," said my mum. sadly. "I'm not even dressed yet. I can't run to the shop in my pyjamas."

But I knew she could so ran to where my biscuit bowl should be and looked sadly at the air that occupied that space and mewed some more.

She was just about to get dressed when she remembered - she had bought a new box, it was feet away, all full of chrunchilicious nuggets. What a relief to hear the reassuring rattle of kibble on china and see my bowl returned to me, brim full.

I have decided to forgive her for forgetting where she put the box but she had better never do that to me again. There was nearly an emergency situation!


The best time of the day

June 18th 2014 10:47 pm
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I love morning when mum wakes up and I go out. I love to sleep in a sunbeam in the day. I love when my mum comes home and I go out. But the best time of the day of all is that time when the sun slides off to bed and everything becomes muzzy and exciting. Bizarrely at this time of year that is pretty much when my mum decides to go to sleep.

Yesterday evening we were all in the garden, mum had her book and was sharing a frozen yoghurt with Josie and I was hunting and we were as happy as can be in the sunshine. Then night fell, twilight descended and "I'm going in" said my mum.

We followed in the hope of tasty supper and were chasing each other round (and I would have it said that it was Josie that knocked all those birthday cards over) when mum said, "Bother! I left the table outside. Stay here cats, while I fetch it."

Once again I would have it noted that it was Josie who was naughty and ran out while mum fetched the table. Mum sighed and went after her. Mum caught Josie but they looked as if they had so much fun with the chase I ran out to be caught too.

Mum ran after me (and don't people make interesting noises when they step on slugs in bare feet) which was brilliant and Josie came out for another go. Now mum could see just how amazing it is to run around at twilight. It's my best time of the day.

Mum cheated in the end. She went in and made tasty food noises and when we came in locked the door but at least we had our tasty food.

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