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Toby's Diary

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October 9th 2014 10:11 pm
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I love the happy sound of biscuits being poured into my bowl so trotted along expectantly when I heard it.

But there was a problem. One sniff and I knew it.

"These aren't my outdoor and energetic amazing super biscuits," I said, rejecting the bowl.

"These are your normal brand," replied my mum. "Those other ones were just a sample to see if we liked them."

"And we did! We must buy more."

There was one of those silences I can never like.

"They are very expensive" said my mum, "and you've always been happy with those other ones before."

"But then I didn't know that outdoor and energetic amazing super biscuits existed," I pointed out, " Are you suggesting that Josie and I aren't worth it?"

"No, not at all.." started my mum and then stumbled as we both realised that is exactly what she is suggesting.

I stalked off, tail in the air, spurning those stupid normal biscuits. Hhmph!

Obviously once my mum was safely at work I tucked in. They do taste OK. My mum would never realise that I did eat them after all.


Our autumn hobbies

October 8th 2014 10:44 pm
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Claws in the rug; there's a tunnel here somewhere. I looked up at my mum.

"Come on - you know what I want!"

For autumn is definitely here. My happy, sunny, warm garden is now wet and cold and windy and not somewhere to spend much time so it's back to indoor games. Luckily I know plenty and one of my favourites is the Tunnel Game. My mum makes the rug into a tunnel and rolls balls down it and I chase them. Brilliant!

Mum sighed. "But I just finished playing the Table Game with Josie." That's a stupid game - mum puts things on the table and Josie bats them onto the floor. Josie finds that hilarious every time. She is weird.

"Then that makes it my turn," I pointed out and mum made me my tunnel and fetched the toy box for things to roll. I was already down there, squiggled into the woollen cocoon.

"Ready!" I called and down came a foam ball.

I didn't have my mum's full attention as she was also retrieving things that Josie had batted.

"How come I am Entertainment Officer?" she grumbled. "The whole point of having two of you is so you can amuse each other."

That's what we do in the day time. Evenings are for special mum attention. It's fun playing outdoors but I had forgotten some of the old games and am now looking forward to lots of cheery evenings enjoying those again.


It's my food

October 7th 2014 10:35 pm
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Most of mum's post is very dull and often makes her sigh. When Josie or I get post it's usually rather more fun. Sometimes we get sent samples of food to try and we do like that. The latest one was a voucher for a bag of cat food so special my mum could only redeem it at a special pet shop.

We normally get our food from the soup market along with mum's food.

Mum had the brand she needed but said she had no idea until she got there that there are quite so many varieties to buy - hairball, dental, slimming, shiny coat, kitten, senior, sensitive, indoor, neutered - on the shelf went. Tailored for every possible type of cat.

"Which did you choose?" I asked.

"Outdoor and energetic," said my mum.

"So Josie can't eat it," I said firmly. "She does go out but she's not very energetic when she gets there. This is my food. For me."

"There wasn't one that quite worked for both of you," said my mum, "and then I remembered Josie trying to fly and I thought this would be OK. There wasn't one for crazy cats. I would have bought that."

Anyway I can highly recommend outdoor and energetic biscuits. I even let Josie have some when I was done. They are big and crunchy and quite delicious.

My mum said she was sorry they don't come in little hearts and stars and shapes like the ones she normally buys but the flavour is more important to me.


What's that noise?

October 6th 2014 10:35 pm
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We were woken early by a strange slithery sound, slither, bump, slither, bump.

"What is that?" I heard my mum ask. Then "Josie?"

Mum has a table by her bed. She keeps on it her clock so she can say "it's only 3am" or whatever when we wake her; her water glass; our water glass; her book. All the stuff she might wake up and need.

It's not really a table. It has a drawer underneath and above the drawer there is a cubby hole where mum keeps other things.

Kept other things.

For Josie, waking early and a bit bored while she waited for the rest of us to wake up, was in the cubby hole tidying it out. Pushing things (slither) out on to the floor (bump.)

Mum looked at her and Josie decided that her best strategy at this point would be to run as fast as she could and hope that mum hadn't seen her. Off she fled, scattering some pens that were presumably the next to be thrown out.

"You used to be the normal one," said my mum, a little sadly.

She looked across at me and I looked as normal as I could.

"Normal for cats that is," mum added.

The cheek!


Mum is Ok

October 5th 2014 10:49 pm
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We were half-expecting my mum home early with her things in a box but she came home the usual time. She sat down on the sofa and sighed. Her job was safe but she had a horrible day as she didn't find that out until quite late on. Meantime she saw people heading off to meetings and rumours were spreading about who was going and she had a load of work that she wasn't sure whether she should be getting on with it or working out how to hand it over.

"That's it," she exclaimed. "I am going to have a gin and tonic after that stressful day."

So off she went and came back with the tin of drink and a bag of her favourite crisps. She popped her supper in the oven, poured the drink and put the crisps in a bowl and we joined her on the sofa.

"That's better," she said, sitting back, stroking us. We were one either side so she could appreciate our furry backs.

After a while the oven timer went ping and off she trotted. Turn the hob on, chop some veg and back.

"Josie - you weren't doing what I think you were doing," said my mum.

Josie looked shocked. She is a good cat whatever she was being accused of was clearly going to be a lie.

Mum sat down and reached for another crisp.

"Ugh!" she exclaimed. "They are soggy. Josie - were you licking them?"

Josie tried to look like a cat who would never lick somebody's crisps. Only they are all salty and nice and they were in a little bowl like our food is and Josie thought they were for her. And she only licked them. She left the main part for my mum.

"Crisp!" said my mum, "There's a clue in the name. They aren't nice soggy."

But my mum was just so glad that she still has a job and so sad for the people she knows that haven't and she didn't have the heart to be angry.

The rest of the weekend she mostly relaxed with us which is the best way to get over any bad experience.


My mum has some bad news

October 2nd 2014 10:33 pm
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She has been very solemn and all Josie's headrubs haven't cheered her up. Her company are to make some people redundant and she thinks she is on the list. I didn't know what that meant and mum explained that she might not have a job any more.

"So you'll have to stay home with us? Excellent."

I couldn't see how that could be sad.

"I need paying," she said, darkly.

"We'll pay you of course," I confirmed, "in snuggles and headrubs and making you laugh,"

She sighed. "If the mortgage company took hugs we would be absolutely fine but they don't."

She'll know for sure soon and she has already applied for some new jobs and we're looking after her with plenty of purrs and massages. I'm sure it will all work out.


Josie loves DVDs

October 1st 2014 10:42 pm
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Our telly box is broken. Not the TV but the box that makes the magic that makes the programmes. Mum said it's OK as she has a load of DVDs she's been meaning to get around to watching until the engineer can come.

Josie's ears pricked up at that and my mum looked at her and said, "No" but that isn't a word Josie chooses to hear!

For when mum presses the button there is a warning whirring sound. Josie has mere seconds to leap across the room before a tray slides out smoothly from the player. Left to herself mum puts the shiny disc on the tray and it slides away, back to the dark void from which it emerged.

Josie loves to grab the tray with a claw and see if she can beat the machine. She can actually - a few good tugs and that tray isn't going anywhere. Ever again it would seem.

Mum isn't nearly as find of this game as Josie is. She says she can't afford to keep buying DVD players. I thoroughly enjoy watching the pair of them fight it out so it's all good to me.


My clumsy mum

September 30th 2014 10:34 pm
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Mum came home early yesterday. She said she had been on another course. Peoples are not as bright as cats and have to keep learning stuff it would seem. It's usually how to say stuff.

"Was it how to say stuff?" I asked.

"Yes, In a way that gets people to do what you want them to," she replied.

"Ah, whacky paw," I said.

"We're not really supposed to do that," said my mum, "so we talk instead."

"I'm so glad I'm a cat," I replied.

Then she started rolling up a trouser leg. She has a number of odd habits but this was a new one. I went for a sniff of her leg.

"On the way out I tripped over," she said. And sure enough there wasa large pink patch on her knee that looked pretty sore. "I hurt my hand too as I reached for the pavement," she added, wiggling her fingers with an ouch. They all work but seem tender.

"I was so shaken I had to sit down. A woman came by with a dog and I nearly asked if I could borrow him as I needed a cuddle and some sympathy. It's good to be here with my cats!"

"Great story mum," I said, "Now Josie and I would like to play outside so please can we go?"

"A dog would give me sympathy," she said, darkly, as she opened our magic door.

Once again I thought how happy I am to be a cat. Josie and I were out chasing bugs when a dog would have had to stay in and hear all about mum's aches and pains.

The good news is that her hand is still fine for head rubs and cat food opening so it's all good.


Sometimes I love my life

September 29th 2014 10:36 pm
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Mum was sitting on the sofa when an anxious look came on her face. She looked at Josie. "I'm just going to make a cup of tea. I'll be right back. Don't take my seat."

Josie looked shocked at the very suggestion but no sooner had mum left the room than she leapt across and curled herself up on the warm cushion my mum had left.

My mum came back in, mug in hand, and looked down at that cheeky tortie.

"Do you remember someone else was sitting there?"

Josie put on her confused face. No, she was pretty sure she hadn't taken anyone else's seat. Look how settled she was; had been there for hours.

Mum sighed and went to the other end of the sofa. This routine kicks off in the autumn and will carry on now right through winter - Josie taking mum's warm patch and mum pretending to be surprised. I went to cheer my mum up with some head rubs and purrs. That seemed to work until, "Swallow! Swallow!"

Oh yes - when I get really blissed out I sort of forget that part and I do dribble somewhat. Luckily I don't mind that.

Sometimes it's just us all at home, cosy together, doing what we do and I think I'm the happiest cat in the world.


Josie was brave (sort of!)

September 28th 2014 10:36 pm
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We had a wonderful weekend - it was all sunny and warm. My mum had all the doors and windows open and we wandered in and out which is what us cats like to do.

One time I walked in the sitting room and Josie was looking rather smug.

"You're safe to go in the garden," she said. "I saw him off."


"Leo from next door. I puffed up my tail and looked so enormous and chased him away. You're welcome."

This didn't seem very likely so I looked at my mum.

"Did she?"

"Sort of," said my mum.

"What sort of sort of?" I wanted to know.

"Leo was chasing Josie down the path - hence the tail - and then he saw me. He did a pretty sharp about turn when I stood up and then Josie chased him."

"So he was really running away from you," I commented.

"Josie was the one doing the chasing. I just stood there," said my mum.

Right. We're all pretty brave when we have back-up!

But my garden was now a Leo-free zone is what I took from the story so I could go out and enjoy it so I did.

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