Toby's Diary

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Stealthy cat

September 5th 2013 10:32 pm
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I was mooching about yesterday, seeing what life had to offer when I came upon my mum in the sitting room doing one of those odd human things.

Cats are, of course, borned perfect looking as wonderful as anything can look. We're done and ready to go. Humans need more work.

My mum was painting pink on her toes. I got a sudden whiff of the pink stuff which is very whiffy. I froze in my tracks. Had my mum spotted me? I thought I had been lucky, maybe not. Very gently I started taking big steps backwards.

Mum looked up at me and laughed.

"Why are you doing that Toby?"

Drat - she had seen me. I had been trying to discreetly slide away before she saw me and maybe got some idea that she might paint my claws pink. I would not like that. Not at all.

She promised me she wouldn't but I wasn't going near her until that bottle of pink was safely back in its box. Mum rubbed my head and told me I'm peculier. Better that than pink I say.


My foolish mum

September 4th 2013 10:29 pm
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Yesterday my mum had a man with her when she came in from work. He went to the cupboard with the boiler in and asked my mum what the problem was.

My mum explained that when the new meter got fitted she had turned the gas supply off just for a second which put the pilot light out. Since she re-lit it there's been no hot water.

He took the front off the boiler and got his tools out and started tapping and poking. After a while he said, "I think I know what the problem is."

Mum looked at him with trepidation. Would it be an expensive one?

"What did you do when you re-lit the pilot light?" he asked.

Mum thought back. "I followed the instructions. I put the boiler on standby, pressed the gas switch and then hit the ignition button until the light came on. I held the gas switch down for twenty seconds and then slowly released."

"And the standby switch?"

Mum thought again and a horrible realisation hit her. "I left on standby." She considered the implication of this. "So I got you here to switch my boiler from standby to on."

And this is pretty much true. He said he would service the boiler while he was there and check everything was working OK so she would be ready for winter (for he does not realise Josie and I have wished for an everlasting summer) but I think my mum did feel rather foolish.

I had a letter from Laura Belle yesterday too and they have been badly affected by the Rim Fire which is making them cough and nearly have to be evacuated. Please can we all purr for the brave firefighters working so hard to keep everyone safe and that the fire will soon be put out? It sounds very extremely scary.


Josie proves my point

September 3rd 2013 10:33 pm
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I didn't see this but my mum told me about it.

Yesterday my mum came home grumpy. She was muttering about problems with her car but they weren't very interesting so out I went to pursue the far more interesting pastime of hunting.

Josie likes to stay with mum when I go out and have some girl time. One of Josie's favourite games involves a little cat height table. Mum puts a pen or something like that on it and firmly tells Josie that's where she wants it to stay. Josie pretends to agree and then scoots past and knocks the thing off. Mum pretends to be annoyed and puts it back, Josie knocks it off and they can spend hours doing that.

Josie was at the table trying to get mum's attention but mum was grumpy so was ignoring her. Luckily Josie is possessed of a vivid imagination so pretended there were things to knock. Then she jumped on the table and looked all over and a-ha! What is that dangling off it? But as she chased the dangle it moved. She turned around and there it was again. She managed to catch it this time and gave it a good lick.

For yes, perched on the little table my sisfur was chasing her own tail as if she was a kitten. She kept going until my mum could be grumpy no longer and had to laugh and then Josie climbed on her lap and purred. Success!

My mum can be hard work to look after but we think she's worth it.


A strange and bizarre creature

September 2nd 2013 10:33 pm
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I love summer. I love the sun stroking my fur and warming me up so I feel all happy and melty. I wish it was always summer and Josie and I have been wishing extra hard this year and I think we may have done it.

It may be September but we are still enjoying warm, sunshiny days. My mum had left the curtains drawn back when she went to work yesterday and by the time she got home our flat was rather too hot.

She opened the back doors and we were off, out on our adventures. When I needed a biscuit break I came back in, a somewhat fiddly process as mum had then drawn the curtains over the door so I had push my way under them.

I had some biscuits and I was telling my mum about the things I had seen and done outside when I noticed a bulge in the curtain. Something was trying to get it. The bulge moved. I was quick to act.

"I will save you from this strange and bizarre creature," I cried, giving it a good tap with my paw.

"I'm pretty sure that's Josie," replied my mum.

"Just what I said, a strange and bizarre creature!"

It was indeed Josie and she just ran her bluge along the curtain and came in another way so we still have her. She is a peculier cat and I think may have been dropped as a kitten but whenever I try and expand on that theory mum says I'm not so perfect myself. (I am really!)


Back to work

September 1st 2013 10:32 pm
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Mum's holiday is over now. We were talking last night about what we liked the best about it. Josie's happiest moment was when mum was clearing some shelves and found a polystyrene ball. It belonged to a toy and my mum had put it up high because the cats of the time kept running off with it. She no longer has the toy so she gave Josie the ball and Josie loves it. Only she keeps losing it under things and my mum isn't quite as diligent at finding it as one would hope.

My favourite part was getting to spend so much time outdoors. Mum says she hopes the weather isn't quite so pleasant next time she has holiday as she would like to see a bit more of me.

So today she goes back to her office to tell people stuff and I go back to my job of keeping Josie in line and Josie goes back to her job of interior design, adding her claw marks to paint, furniture etc.


Stretchy neck

August 29th 2013 11:24 pm
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Our water bowl normally lives away from our food. That's because Henry who lived here before didn't drink much water and my mum read that maybe it was because his water bowl was picking up scents from cooking so she should move it away. She did. He drank it no more than before but it still lives in a different room to our food bowls.

Yesterday my mum moved our food bowls near it.

"How come?" I like to know what's going on.

"There's an engineer coming to change the meter over and I want the kitchen floor to be clear."

The engineer came and we have a new meter but the bowls did not move.

Josie and I both drink plenty of water and I was thirsty later so I trotted over. Hm. Food bowl between me and the water. No problem - stretchy neck. I got my paws as close to the food bowl as I could, extended my head right across the food bowl to just reach the water bowl beyond and I started lapping. I expected mum to be impressed with my ingenuity and general flexibility.

"Toby - why don't you just walk round and drink from the other side? Crazy cat."

What? The easy way? Us cats relish a challenge.



August 28th 2013 11:51 pm
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"Toby - you know how there are some jobs that are better done without a feline prescence?"

"No. I do not know that."

My mum gets some crazy ideas in her head. How could anything be better without the furry coat and infinite wisdom of a cat?

Turns out my mum wanted to freshen up the paint in the hall. "So unless you want blue paws I suggest you both stay away."

Enjoying a classic black with white accents look I took that to heart and went hunting in the garden. Josie, a more colourful cat, took that as a suggestion rather than as a threat. When mum shut the sitting room door Josie was out, over the gate, in through the bedroom window and just deciding where exactly she wanted to be blue when my mum spotted her and turfed her out. Then we all had to wait in seperate rooms for the paint to dry.

You can no longer see where I tore the paper away or Josie's claw marks up the kitchen door frame from where she has wanted mum's attention but don't worry - we'll soon make it pretty again.


London cat

August 27th 2013 11:27 pm
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I did have to complain to my mum yesterday that she might not be staying away but we're not exactly seeing a lot of her. Monday was a picnic and concert and yesterday she was with her nephews doing a walking tour round London.

"Don't you know the way by now?" I asked.

"He showed us lots of interesting nuggets of London history," she replied.

"Any cats?" I wanted to know.

"Actually yes."

They were in the church in Covent Garden and their guide was explaining the memorials to many famous actors when my mum spotted a very contented tabby cat curled up asleep on a chair.

"I didn't know cats were allowed in church," I commented. "You never take us."

"He probably scoots out when it's service time. It was very peaceful then and cats like that."

"Was he your favourite bit of the tour?" I asked.

"Of course," she replied.

"Not the coming home to us part then?"

She looked bemused. "Even more course?"

Anyway she has promised no outings today. Just happy time with us.


A gift for me

August 26th 2013 11:51 pm
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I ambled into the sitting room yesterday so find mum with a dangly in one hand and her camera in the other and Josie enthusiastically attacking the dangly.

"What's Josie up to?" I enquired politely.

"You'll be up to it too in a minute," replied my mum.

Turns out that when I was poorly my mum had mentioned this at work. I expect she was sobbing inconsolably at her desk. (She says she just mentioned it.) Her manager passed the alarming news on to her family and five year old Madison was quick to act.

She made me a very colourful Get well Soon card covered in hearts and kisses and a dangly toy. Mum wanted a photo of me enjoying my toy to show Madison my appreciation.

Josie had been quick to get stuck in but I knew there were others ways to enjoy it. I ignored all mum's attempts to attract my attention with it and waited. Once the camera was safely put down and lying still on the carpet I pounced, patting and pawing until I was pretty sure mum had me lined up in the camera sights and then stop. My mum was getting quite grumpy with me. It was brilliant,

I did let her take one later. I would hate to let a little girl with a kindly heart think that I wasn't grateful to her.


Happy Days

August 25th 2013 10:54 pm
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Mum came home on Friday.

"It's the weekend."

"Yey!" I like weekends when she is home more.

"And I get an extra day because it's a Bank Holiday weekend."

"Double yey!"

"Even more yeys - I taking some days off next week."

I looked around suspiciously for Big Bag.

"I'm not going away - at least not overnight."

I purred.

Saturday it rained the whole day so we all settled ourselves on the sofa.

"I wouldn't be quite so sleepy if some cat hadn't got ridiculously playful so very early," my mum said.

"You are very welcome," said Josie, for it was she that had been up so early. She curled herself up on mum's lap. "Isn't being sleepy on a rainy day just the perfect thing to be?" Mum watched Pride and Prejudice and us cats dozed off because we're seen it before and there's not a single cat in it and the rain lashed the window and we were very cosy and happy.

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