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Toby's Diary

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We have a new sofa

November 10th 2014 10:36 pm
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Most of yesterday we didn't so we had one arm chair and one cat bed and played musical chairs all day. As soon as anyone got up someone had snabbled their seat.

But then it arrived. Mum put the old throws on it so it would smell right for us and I like it. It has a wide arm for me to sit on just as mum promised. It doesn't have a squishy cat shaped nest on the arm but I'm working on that.

Mum likes it as it isn't squishy so she can get out of it.

Josie. Where's Josie? Has anyone seen the tortie? Mum went on the hunt and came back laughing.

Josie does not like the new sofa. She prefers the old one.

When mum's friends took it outdoors they left the cushions and seats here. When the new sofa was due my mum took those all in the spare room, piled them high, precariously balanced on top of a suitcase and laundry basket and that is where Josie is now choosing to sleep - her old familar cushions now with an aeriel view of the spare room. Fabulous!

Mum says she's not keeping them but Josie hopes she will. Josie gets to pretend she's the Princess with a hundred mattresses and I get to pretend I'm an only cat. Everyone's happy.


They stole our sofa

November 9th 2014 10:32 pm
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Friends came to see my mum on Sunday and all seemed normal. They admired me. Josie hid. Everyone drank tea. So far so good.

But then my mum opened the back doors, all the cushions came off the sofa and they all carried it outside. Now we just have the chair.

I really really miss my sofa. When I am feeling bad one thing always makes me feel better - attacking Josie.


"What? We were just playing," I explained, after I had removed the mouthful of Josie's fur.

"Play nicely," said my mum but the whole thing is her fault anyway for letting people steal my sofa. Turns out it was too heavy to carry anyway and they left it in the front garden.

With just one chair in the evening mum and Josie had to share and Josie sat on mum's lap which seemed to work out well for both of them. I wonder why they didn't think of that before.


Fireworks Night

November 5th 2014 10:30 pm
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is over and we won't miss it a bit.

Mum wouldn't let us outdoors last night and I could soon see why. Bangs and hisses and flashes from all over. I would like it known that I was extremely brave. I did look up when they were really loud and close by but I stayed with my mum.

Josie prowled and searched for the safest place she could think of. She settled on our fort - the big box that lives in the hall. That was as far away from any windows as she could find. Unfortunately that's not a usual place for her, mum didn't realise and pushed the fort to open the cupboard behind. Poor Josie came bounding out - off in search of another hiding place. She was not a happy cat.

So anyway now two good things. One is that although mum says there will be some firworks for a few days yet the worst noisy night is over and the other is that the reason my mum opened the cupboard was to turn the heating on.

We love the heating on!!


Mum fell out of bed

November 4th 2014 10:40 pm
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It was brilliant. People are a constant source of amusement. You would never get cats being so clumsy.

She was attempting to get up and caught her foot in a corner of the sheet which had folded back on itself and over she went, landing on her knees on the carpet.

No harm done, just a scraped knee.

She reckons it is my fault. The weather here has taken a turn for the cooler so mum flipped the mattress topper over yesterday. It has a fluffy side to keep her snug.

I never saw this side before but wow and I mean wow! It was so soft, so cosy, so welcoming. I wiggled my body and stretched out my claws and decided this was exactly where I will spend the entire winter.

And then my mum covered it over with a sheet.

"What are you doing? Leave my fluff where I can reach it!" I cried, but to no avail. Some nonsense about it being unhygienic to sleep right on the topper.

So I did what I could, placing myself where I would be most on the way to stop her. She did get the sheet on but clearly hadn't tucked it in properly and in the night it untucked, folded and the rest you know.

So I got my revenge for her covering my fluffy topper. Hopefully a valuable lesson learnt. Although she did tuck that corner in with renewed determination this morning.


Our Naughty Tortie strikes again

November 3rd 2014 10:36 pm
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My mum is still sleepy after her late nights at the weekend. I hope she has learnt a valuable lesson about abandoning us cats.

Yesterday she came in and said she would have 40 winks before her dance class. She settled back on the sofa and Josie and I settled down in our favourite places and soon all was peaceful; just the sound of contented snoozing.

But I was woken by a snigger. I looked down to see Josie, paw hovering over mum's knee. She caught me looking.

"Shall I?" she asked and before I could say anything at all she tapped mum firmly on the knee. Twice.

My mum woke up with a heck of a start.

"Who's that?"

A pause.


That cheeky tortie tucked head under paw and pretended the whole thing had been accident. Accident my paw!!

Josie is getting increasingly cheeky. I hope my mum appreciates me all the more!


Staying in

November 2nd 2014 10:40 pm
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My mum was out Friday night and out all the day on Saturday so Josie and I had to stay in. She promised she would be home all day Sunday and make it up to us. And it rained and it rained and it rained so we stayed in anyway.

Then it stopped raining and the fireworks started. I really don't like fireworks. They go bang and they go hiss and they come from all around. Mum says they can't get in but Josie and I hid anyway just to be on the safe side.

When they quietened down a bit I sat next to my mum and Josie sat on mum's lap where it felt safer.

"Were the bangs your idea for getting Josie to share your seat?" I asked but my mum claims she has no control of them. She seemed happy to have the tortie snuggled on her so I retain my suspicions.

"Are they done now?" I asked.

"There'll be a few more days," said my mum.

Sighs! I miss outdoors.


You cannot outwit a cat

October 30th 2014 11:34 pm
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This time of year Josie and my mum have an ongoing battle. Who shall have their favourite seat on the sofa? (Answer - usually Josie. Of course!)

Mum did try arranging all the cushions temptingly at the other end but Josie spurned that and sat, looking a little sorry for herself, where they were not. Have you ever seen a person trying to slide a cushion under a cat? My mum is very funny when she is feeling guilty.

So last night my mum had the sought after spot but wanted to a get cup of tea. How to have both a tea and retain her space? She thought she had been clever, throwing a pile of hard-backed books on the cushion where she sat. Surely that would be too uncomfortable for Josie.

The books were, yes. But Josie simply wrapped herself around them and settled herself on what cusion was available to her. When my mum came back she could only sit down by moving the books - at which moment Josie was perfectly poised to slide across and claim her cushion.

Josie wins every time.

She's the cat so of course she does. (I actually prefer to be on the arm of the sofa, that little bit higher so I get to leave them to their arguing.)


No holiday for cats

October 30th 2014 12:17 am
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We were all worn out by my mum's decorating so yesterday was a quieter day. I did wonder if she plans to go back to work any time and she said she is having to take her two week holiday. She works in finance so they make her take two weeks in a block in case she's up to no good.

"And are you?" I asked, fascinated by this hitherto unrecognised aspect of her personality.

"No," she said, "I prefer a clean conscience." Then she sighed. "The theory is that if I go for two weeks someone else does my work and they'll see if I am up to anything but actually no-one does so I go back to piles and piles. I dread to think how many e-mails I'll have."

"This is why Josie and I don't take holidays," I said, sympathetically. "Imagine the backlog of fur distribution, sofa destruction, laundry basket shredding and so on we would come back to. Not to mention all the naps and snuggles we would need to catch up on."

So the main excitement of yesterday was my mum trying to work out her new smartphone. Not very successfully. She was trying to send a photo of Josie and me to her friend but I don't think we ever did find out if it arrived. Technology and mum are not the best of friends.


Sort of normal again

October 29th 2014 12:18 am
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Weirdly it turns out that when you paint you start with a roll of tape - to keep the walls attached?

Then mum put down a blanket on the floor.

"For sleepsies when you are tired of painting?" asked Josie, nestling in it.

"No," said my mum, "and move unless you want paint spatters when I start rolling."

And roll she did and now our walls are a creamy yellow which is called "Sunrise" on the tin. Painting isn't exactly where our mum excels and the walls don't bear close examination but we aren't in the habit of closely examining the walls so that's OK. And the room feels lighter which is nice.

Then mum put all the furniture back.

"Do you remember how the table and lamp went by the sofa?"she asked. "If I put the table behind the lamp then the lamp is in the wrong place but if I put the lamp behing the table then the table sticks out too far. How did it used to be?" But we can't remember.

Oh well - it sort of works! I am just happy that the sofa and our bed are back where they belong.


Everything is topsy turvy

October 28th 2014 12:55 am
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And I don't like it.

"Technically," I told my mum, "that's cheating. You can only use a claw to rip paper off the wall. You appear to have a special implement. I invented this game so I make the rules and even Josie wouldn't cheat like that."

"Josie never touched the wallpaper until you came along," mum commented.

"You're welcome," I said. "I can see that you don't like it."

"I was perfectly happy with it until you and Josie started tearing great chunks out of it," sid my mum. "I'm fed up of looking at it so off it comes."

She has moved all the furniture in the middle of the room. Josie found her favourite spot on the sofa and doesn't seem to have registered the difference but I don't like it.

"I'm going to paint," said my mum. "Nice smooth paint with nowhere for cats to get their claws in."

So we have a tin of paint and a funny tray and mum has her overalls out. Josie and I will, naturally, be on hand to help. Mum suggested we go out and play but it will be more entertaining watching her.

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