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Toby's Diary

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My latest pet

January 13th 2015 10:34 pm
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I smuggled him in while my mum was at work - a handsome slug that I called Sid. It isn't fair that the people get all the pets and I really wanted him.

My mum is no fan of a slug so after giving him a little time to explore I suggested he hide himself.

"Like this?" he asked, tucking himself against the skirting board.

"Perfect," I said.

My mum came home and did not see him. Only we had forgotten one thing. Slugs leave a silvery trail. My mum said "What's that?" and she followed where it led and saw Sid.

"Yeuch!" she said, which was a bit rude actually. She fetched the dustpan. "You are going out," she said firmly.

"I am feeling a bit dried out," said Sid, "so it's for the best." Although I don't think he realised just how he would fly from the dustpan to the lawn.

So I am once again petless. Sighs!



January 12th 2015 10:38 pm
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Over Christmas we did get used to having my mum around more and we miss her when she is at work. I've taken to sitting by the window most evenings so I can see her as soon as she comes home. She sees me and smiles so I think she misses us too.

Josie had a goodly plan yesterday. While my mum was pottering about Josie settled herself all comfy on mum's suit jacket. No jacket - no work presumably.

But mum made Josie move. She said she needed her jacket.

"I'm testing job candidates today. They'll be smart and it's only polite," said my mum.

"What do you test them on?" Josie asked, imagining something like toy mouse pounce technique or ability to identify dinner time with nothing more than your empty tummy to guide you.

"Maths and English," said my mum. Which is not so much fun.

"Did they test you when you started?" I asked. I've seen my mum with her bank statements and her maths isn't great.

She thought a moment. "Just a personality test," she said.

"And did you have one?" I wondered.

She gave me that look so I think she must have passed that test.

I would test on headrub technique, food portion size awareness and ability to comprehend meows. Mum said she would test on ability to sleep past 5am or at least stay quiet, agility around feet so she wouldn't have to worry about us in her way (her in our way more like!) and non-sitting on newspapers.

Perhaps testing wouldn't be such a good idea!


Furry things

January 11th 2015 10:38 pm
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Some things should be furry - cats, obviously. Kitty toys can be.

Some things should not be furry. My mum has bought new slippers which are furry. She looks like she has brown paws instead of feet. I will not let her near me when she wears them. She says they are really cosy and comfy but they are not her feet and I don't like them.

She also bought a new furry throw for me. I don't like the snuggle rug that Josie now lives on (she can't believe there was a time she had to face winter without it) so mum bought me one that's furry but not noisy. I don't like it. She put it on top of our proper old throw so I've pushed it to one side.

I am not a fan of change.


I'm still not sure

January 8th 2015 10:35 pm
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about the new sofa.

It's the recliney part I don't like. Josie loves it - mum kicks it back and Josie is right there. If it's reclined then mum expects to be there for a while and her lap is extra flat and comfortable. And if it's reclined and mum isn't there it's extra sleeping space.

And Josie says when it's reclined there's an exciting cave underneath and you can go right in and explore.

I have not and will not go in that cave. What if mum unreclined and shut you in? I am also very unhappy with the way the arm of the sofa slides when it reclines. I don't even like being in the same room when it reclines. I don't care what mum says. It may not be safe even for a cat asleep on an other piece of furniture entirely.

We did have some good news yesterday. My mum won a £20 Amazon voucher in a wordsearch competition. She thinks she will be choosing a book or some such thing but Amazon have a pet department so Josie and I are going to pick out some things we like. After all, Mum already had books and can't need more.


My beautiful paws

January 7th 2015 10:36 pm
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It's been raining. Josie believes that cats dissolve in water and won't go anywhere near anywhere she might get wet but I don't mind so much. I went out for my stroll and came back in. I then walked along the edge of mum's bed.

"Toby!" she said.

I looked back. Wow! I had left an amazing trail of dark paw prints all along the sheet, a proud proclamation that Toby was here. But my mum was right to alert me. My paws were drying. No longer did I leave my print.

"Thank you," I muttered and ran back outdoors for a top up. More mud; more prints. I returned to the bed and topped up the gaps I had missed.

"Really?" said my mum.

"Awesome aren't they?" I said.

I am delighted with my artwork and my mum's uniquely patterened bed linen. Strangely she seems less impressed. I never quite understand her.


More questions..

January 6th 2015 10:35 pm
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Every day when my mum goes to work she tells us she loves us (we know but there's never any harm in having a reminder) and then she tells us to be good cats and to have a happy day. We then have to choose which of those two alternatives to go with.

Yesterday we went happy.

My mum came home and said, "How?"

For a large cushion that had been neatly laid at the back of a chair was now right in the middle of the floor. In an unrelated incident a lamp had falled over.

Then she said, "I see why."

That morning I had burrowed in our toy box and pulled out the Yeooow Catnip Banana and that was out. We have loads of catnip toys but that is still the best. Yes, we had a catnip fueled frenzy.

"I still can't work out how though," said my mum. It is a large cushion and to be honest she's probably happier not knowing how it got there. I love our happy days!


Christmas present update

January 5th 2015 10:32 pm
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I still don't trust the noisy snuggle rug but Josie has come to love it. She says the noise is a small price to pay as when she snoozes on it she gets all toasty warm and that is what Josie likes the best.

Having said that she reckons mum's lap is still her favourite - pre-warmed for Josie's comfort and delight.

"I am not pre-warmed," said my mum a bit huffily, "I am alive."

"Oh yes," remembered Josie, "and I get headrubs and strokes on the lap which the snuggle rug doesn't do. It's still pretty good though."

For all mum's huffing I think she would miss Josie on her lap if the snuggle rug was better.

The food maze we don't really use. Mum said she'll buy some of our best biscuits and see if that works. She did film me with it but couldn't upload it to my page for now.

And the treats we are working through - not as fast as I would like but mum says they'll last longer this way. And they are delicious so that may not be a bad thing.


Josie went to the vet

January 4th 2015 10:35 pm
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Don't worry - she's fine. Mum not so much.

It began nicely enough with Josie scrambling onto mum's lap for a snuggle.

"What's that?" asked mum suddenly. "Your paw is bleeding. Let me look at it."

"it's fine, no need to look at it," said Josie firmly and something of a tussle ensued.

"Oh my goodness. Josie - you have a claw that's overgrown digging into your pad and it's pierced it. That must be so uncomfortable. Why didn't you say anything?"

"Nothing to say; nothing to see," said Josie firmly, tugging her paw back in, "and no need to go..."

"We're going to the vet" said my mum so she made an appointment and on Saturday morning off they went. I could hear Josie all the way there I think, protesting that her paw was fine and once you got used to the digging in it was really OK.

Apparently they got lucky - just one other cat in the waiting room and not a long wait. The vet snipped the offending claw and gave Josie some pain relief and antibiotics and less than five minutes all done.

"How did that cost so much?" my mum did wonder. We have insurance and it was over the excess so my mum did ring the insurers and will claim a bit back. So she is still in shock about the cost but Josie is totally back to normal. Her paw looks a little sore but is definitely on the mend. She hasn't been limping or anything.


Use of a purr

January 1st 2015 10:53 pm
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Josie woke bright and early this morning - ready to be awesome. She started bounding around and my mum said, "Josie - stop that. It's 5am."

And Josie purred.

"Don't think a purr somehow magically makes it alright," said my mum.

Josie purred some more.

And guess what! A purr does magically make everything alright. My mum chuckled and gave Josie a little head rub.

"Back to sleep Sweetie," she said.

Which wasn't Josie's plan. There was a lot more bounding about, general chatter and some more purring until my mum gave up and we had our breakfast.

But no person can be angry with a purring cat. They just cannot be. Good work Josie.


2015 so far

December 31st 2014 11:54 pm
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I went out last night for my last 2014 patrol - and came in pretty quick-smart. There were all bangs and sparks in the sky.

"I thought fireworks night was over," I complained to my mum. But apparently people like them for New Year too. I had forgotten that.

So we stayed in and played tag. I don't know why that makes my mum laugh but it does.

So far being happy in 2015 is going well. No work for my mum today so I've had two lots of cuddles and that's the best way to start a year. And Josie reckons she is being awesome so it's all good.

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