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Toby's Diary

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Not a kitten fan

September 24th 2014 10:37 pm
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I was heading out last night when I saw something that made me freeze.

"What are you looking at?" asked my mum. Whilst we can use our magic door perefectly well we do prefer to have her hold it open for us so that's what she was doing.

"Oh, how cute. Hi Jasper!" for bold as brass on our fence there stood necxt door's kitten. He squeaked back at my mum.

She went out and stretched a hand up and he was giving her headrubs and squeaking away. I went out and glared at her. She came towards me but I stomped off. Hands that pet kittens shall not pet me!!

"You were that small once," she said. "And you had better be kind to him because he'll probably end up bigger than you."

She does say the most ridiculous things.

Then my mum got her phone and checked the pictures of the other tabby kitten that she saw and it definitely wasn't Jasper so we still don't know who it was. We haven't seen it since anyway. I expect it found the way back to its own home. I really don't like kittens coming along and claiming my mum.

 

New food

September 23rd 2014 10:11 pm
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"Toby - stop that!" said my mum.

I was quietly eating my breafast at this moment, as well-behaved as a cat can be. Sometimes I think my mum tells me off just to keep her hand in.

"Poor Josie. Here's his bowl. You finish that off."

Oh that!

We had new kitty food this morning and I can't tell you how good it is. Little tiny chunks, delicious jelly, just the best. I was tucking in when I wondered if Josie had also been so fortunate as to get the new food. As a concerned brofur I had to check. Yes, she had the same but now I was eating from her bowl no sense in going back. Not if they were the same.

I think my mum thought I was stealing Josie's breakfast but I wouldn't do that.

"This is amazingly yummy," I said, carefully licking round the bowl in case I had missed a morsel.

"Are you sure?" asked my mum. "It was pretty cheap." (That's my mum!)

"You should buy loads and loads," I suggested.

"I'm not getting caught out by that one again!"

The fact is we enjoy variety. It gets boring if you have the same day after day and we go off it. Mum says she is pretty sure the lion in the wild doesn't say, "Oh no - not antelope again" but is happy for what he has. Us little cats with our food in neat sachets would say that for sure.

 

I worked it out

September 22nd 2014 10:41 pm
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Why people have those enormous noses.

For years I thought my mum must have an amazing sense of smell but she told me that cat's little button noses actually are better - and we have those glands in our mouths for really important smelling which they don't.

They really lucked out on the whole senses thing. Their funny foldy ears don't even move so people can't hear like we can hear.

"Is there any sense peoples have which is better than cats have?" I pondered.

"We can see better," claimed my mum. A somewhat unlikely boast.

"Have you seen yourself blundering about in the dark?" I asked. "No, you have not for you can't see a thing. Josie and I can and you are very funny I can tell you."

"We see better in the day," said my mum.

I could only stare. "You walked into a large bed and broke your toe," I reminded her. "Apparently you failed to see that. Can you imagine even Jasper the kitten failing to notice a bed?"

"We can see colours that you can't"

She wasn't giving up on this one. I was beginning to feel quite sorry for her.

"Of course you can and I'm sure they are lovely. What colour am I in people speak?"

She didn't want to answer that as we both know. "Black with white patches."

"Strangely similar to how cats see me, many would argue." Poor mum. I am so glad I am a cat and not people. No wonder we need so much sleep when we are doing all the seeing, hearing and smelling around here.

Oh and why do they have those big noses? Because they are easy for cats to reach and tap to wake our peoples up. You can safely bat their noses for hours if needs be and never miss once.

 

The Strawberry Hill House Cat

September 21st 2014 10:35 pm
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Mum was gone most of the day on Saturday. When she came back she was rambling on about to me some old house she had visited - she liked it but it sounded very dull until she mentioned a cat she met in the grounds. "He looked just like you."

"Unusually handsome?"

"Black with a white patch on his chest," she said.

"So yes, very handsome. Did he let you stroke him?" I asked.

"He did," she confirmed. "We had a lovely chat."

I considered this. "I expect that was the highlight for you," I commented.

"Well - there was this amazing Gothic architecture...." she caught my hard stare. "Yes, that was the best bit of the day."

"Of the outing," I corrected. "Your best bit of the day was when I woke you up."

"At 5am. Can we talk about that?"

But I remembered some urgent business elsewhere so I never did find out what she wanted to say. It is kind of other cats to look after my mum once in a while when she's out and about.

 

My odd sisfur

September 18th 2014 10:02 pm
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So there I was - it had been a perfect morning. A light breakfast of tasty chunks, chicken flavour if I remember rightly, a stroll in the garden then back in for my morning snuggles with my mum.

We were up to tummy rubs when there was a great kerfuffle in the hall and Josie bounded in. I leapt up and on to the back of the sofa, out of harm's way.

"Josie?" said my mum.

"Meow," said Josie, firmly. Then rocketed off as suddenly as she had arrived.

I looked at my mum. "She is definitely getting weirder."

My mum normally won't hear a word against either of us but on this occasion she said. "I think you're right."

"There's probably still time to keep the sofa and lose the tortie," I suggested.

But my mum was laughing - "and miss all the fun?"

Thank goodness I'm here to keep an eye on them both.

 

Mum's big announcement

September 17th 2014 10:32 pm
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My mum said she had something very importnat to tell Josie and me. Well, she droned on for a while but I got the jist. Sometimes when things get old and tired we have to get new ones.

"OK," I said.

"You're taking this better than I expected," said my mum.

"I'm not saying I won't miss Josie but as you say - creaky and old."

Mum's expression told me that I hadn't quite listened properly.

"Not Josie. Both of you are staying right here! We're getting a new sofa."

I looked around. More sleeping places are always welcome but where will it fit?

"The old one has to go," mum said firmly.

"MY sofa? Going?"

"I hope you'll like the new one just as much. It has wide arms for you to sleep on."

"But does it have a carefully hollowed out Toby nest?" I asked. That's taken me years.

"I'm sure it will have in time. But the old one has to go. It's a Venus Fly Trap of a sofa. Guests sit in it fine but then take about half an hour to scramble out when it's time to go because it's so soggy."

I had assumed that was a reluctance to leave my company.

Apparently we have a few weeks in which to say our goodbyes. I will miss our old sofa. I love it!

 

Two new laws

September 16th 2014 10:34 pm
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I have heard a lot lately about a Scottish referendum to decide if Scotland should still be part of the UK or not. I was very worried but mum says that Uncle Bill will still be able to send Josie and me presents whatever the result so I don't mind now.

It did get me thinking though - what if cats decided they wanted to form a Government? We're already in charge of course but it would be fun to set the laws. I have two which I thought of yesterday to start things off.

Only cat food is to be allowed in cat food sounding containers. Ours comes in sachets so when we hear my mum open a sachet we know it's for us. Only that's not always true and that should be illegal. Indeed the very pharse, "It's rice Toby, you don't like it" will be banned.

And only kitty treats can be kept in the kitty treat drawer and most especially not flea treatment. I had heard the drawer open and was so excited I started purring when mum came over to me. I didn't even twig when Josie ran past me, "She got me, save yourself!"

No offering of crunchy morsels just a smelly drip on the back of my neck. Yeuch! Then treats so it wasn't all bad. Josie was so traumatised that she wouldn't ket my mum near her even with treats so I ate Josie's too.

Mum says compared to what her cats put up with for flea treatment when she was a little girl we have it easy but it's not her that gets dripped on.

 

A tail of two kitties

September 15th 2014 10:40 pm
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I have been sleeping in the hall a lot - no windows; the scary thing cannot see me. Josie has been sleeping on the pouffe by the window and yesterday she suddenly sat up and stared out of the window, looking up.

"What are you looking at?" asked my mum and she went over. "It's little Jasper on the fence. He's so cute, He's ...oh....hm."

And therein hangs the tail.

On one of her many searches for me on Saturday my mum spotted a heap of tabby fur, half-wedged under the wheelie bin. She scooped up the kitten. "Hello Jasper" and gave him lots of snuggles. He wasn't so happy at first but after a while started purring and giving her headrubs. (She was meant to be looking for me remember, but apparently there was time for kitten love!!)

When she put him down he tried to hide under the wheelie bin again so she picked him up again, more snuggles and she placed him on the fence between the two gardens and could go home. But he sat there looking scared and it is a long jump for a small kitten so she picked him up again and holding him very securely went round and put him in next door's garden. He scampered off quite happily.

Now the suspicion had struck her when she saw him on Sunday in a window and seeing Jasper on the fence confirmed it. Different kitten. There is another tabby kitten in our neighbourhood - as if one wasn't enough.

With all these goings on no wonder I am happier indoors. Even Josie came hurrying in with me today and sat guarding the cat flap. We are happier than ever for our microchip cat flap and doesn't let random cats in.

 

A very scary thing

September 14th 2014 10:38 pm
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I'm not going to say what it is. There might be kittens reading who would never sleep again if they knew such a scary thing even existed.

I saw it on Saturday morning and ran away as fast as my legs would carry me and hid. All day. I didn't dare come home. I heard my mum call me a few times but what if it was still there?

Supper time came and went and dark-time came and my mum was calling for me more and more and shaking the biscuit box so I screwed up my courage and made a run for it. Mum seemed really pleased to see me but I had to check that the thing had not been in my home. I searched all round. Everything looked and smelled normal. Thank goodness

Josie said my mum was in a really bad way while I was gone. She didn't even have any supper and my mum loves her food so she must have been worried. Sunday I stayed in pretty much all day, only venturing out when my mum was around and I haven't been out this morning.

Mum was talking to next door and apparently Leo has seen it too and has been all jumpy of late and there's another cat in our road whose mum says she's been scaredy cat lately.

Josie has not seen it and is inclined to believe it doesn't exist but she's wrong.

 

Christmas must be coming

September 11th 2014 10:09 pm
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Mum got one of those little catalogues through the post yesterday.

At the beginning were all things she might like to get for her many cat-loving friends. Mugs with cats on; cat ornaments; stationery with cats on; and more and more. I suppose when we go out they need cats to look at until we come home again.

But it was the last part of the catalogue that caught my eye - presents for cats. Tasty treats, shiny bowls and toys - toys galore.

"I want that one. And that one. Ooooh - and that one," I helpfully pointed out.

"They do look fun," she agreed, "and the cats in the pictures certainly like them." Then she paused. "But would you actually play with them?"

"Of course!"

"Like your track with the ball in, your three-pronged tunnel, your box full of toys.."

"Oh them. Bored of them," I replied. "These would be new toys. I would love them"

I have clawed a couple of pages of the things I particularly especially want Sandy Claws to bring me so there can be no mistake. Mum remains unconvinced.

 
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