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Toby's Diary

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My mum has some bad news

October 2nd 2014 10:33 pm
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She has been very solemn and all Josie's headrubs haven't cheered her up. Her company are to make some people redundant and she thinks she is on the list. I didn't know what that meant and mum explained that she might not have a job any more.

"So you'll have to stay home with us? Excellent."

I couldn't see how that could be sad.

"I need paying," she said, darkly.

"We'll pay you of course," I confirmed, "in snuggles and headrubs and making you laugh,"

She sighed. "If the mortgage company took hugs we would be absolutely fine but they don't."

She'll know for sure soon and she has already applied for some new jobs and we're looking after her with plenty of purrs and massages. I'm sure it will all work out.


Josie loves DVDs

October 1st 2014 10:42 pm
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Our telly box is broken. Not the TV but the box that makes the magic that makes the programmes. Mum said it's OK as she has a load of DVDs she's been meaning to get around to watching until the engineer can come.

Josie's ears pricked up at that and my mum looked at her and said, "No" but that isn't a word Josie chooses to hear!

For when mum presses the button there is a warning whirring sound. Josie has mere seconds to leap across the room before a tray slides out smoothly from the player. Left to herself mum puts the shiny disc on the tray and it slides away, back to the dark void from which it emerged.

Josie loves to grab the tray with a claw and see if she can beat the machine. She can actually - a few good tugs and that tray isn't going anywhere. Ever again it would seem.

Mum isn't nearly as find of this game as Josie is. She says she can't afford to keep buying DVD players. I thoroughly enjoy watching the pair of them fight it out so it's all good to me.


My clumsy mum

September 30th 2014 10:34 pm
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Mum came home early yesterday. She said she had been on another course. Peoples are not as bright as cats and have to keep learning stuff it would seem. It's usually how to say stuff.

"Was it how to say stuff?" I asked.

"Yes, In a way that gets people to do what you want them to," she replied.

"Ah, whacky paw," I said.

"We're not really supposed to do that," said my mum, "so we talk instead."

"I'm so glad I'm a cat," I replied.

Then she started rolling up a trouser leg. She has a number of odd habits but this was a new one. I went for a sniff of her leg.

"On the way out I tripped over," she said. And sure enough there wasa large pink patch on her knee that looked pretty sore. "I hurt my hand too as I reached for the pavement," she added, wiggling her fingers with an ouch. They all work but seem tender.

"I was so shaken I had to sit down. A woman came by with a dog and I nearly asked if I could borrow him as I needed a cuddle and some sympathy. It's good to be here with my cats!"

"Great story mum," I said, "Now Josie and I would like to play outside so please can we go?"

"A dog would give me sympathy," she said, darkly, as she opened our magic door.

Once again I thought how happy I am to be a cat. Josie and I were out chasing bugs when a dog would have had to stay in and hear all about mum's aches and pains.

The good news is that her hand is still fine for head rubs and cat food opening so it's all good.


Sometimes I love my life

September 29th 2014 10:36 pm
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Mum was sitting on the sofa when an anxious look came on her face. She looked at Josie. "I'm just going to make a cup of tea. I'll be right back. Don't take my seat."

Josie looked shocked at the very suggestion but no sooner had mum left the room than she leapt across and curled herself up on the warm cushion my mum had left.

My mum came back in, mug in hand, and looked down at that cheeky tortie.

"Do you remember someone else was sitting there?"

Josie put on her confused face. No, she was pretty sure she hadn't taken anyone else's seat. Look how settled she was; had been there for hours.

Mum sighed and went to the other end of the sofa. This routine kicks off in the autumn and will carry on now right through winter - Josie taking mum's warm patch and mum pretending to be surprised. I went to cheer my mum up with some head rubs and purrs. That seemed to work until, "Swallow! Swallow!"

Oh yes - when I get really blissed out I sort of forget that part and I do dribble somewhat. Luckily I don't mind that.

Sometimes it's just us all at home, cosy together, doing what we do and I think I'm the happiest cat in the world.


Josie was brave (sort of!)

September 28th 2014 10:36 pm
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We had a wonderful weekend - it was all sunny and warm. My mum had all the doors and windows open and we wandered in and out which is what us cats like to do.

One time I walked in the sitting room and Josie was looking rather smug.

"You're safe to go in the garden," she said. "I saw him off."


"Leo from next door. I puffed up my tail and looked so enormous and chased him away. You're welcome."

This didn't seem very likely so I looked at my mum.

"Did she?"

"Sort of," said my mum.

"What sort of sort of?" I wanted to know.

"Leo was chasing Josie down the path - hence the tail - and then he saw me. He did a pretty sharp about turn when I stood up and then Josie chased him."

"So he was really running away from you," I commented.

"Josie was the one doing the chasing. I just stood there," said my mum.

Right. We're all pretty brave when we have back-up!

But my garden was now a Leo-free zone is what I took from the story so I could go out and enjoy it so I did.


Next doors cats in my garden

September 25th 2014 10:10 pm
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That kitten was in my garden again yesterday. I was watching him play in my favourite hunting spot.

"Surely you aren't afraid of a tiny kitten?" ased my mum.

"He's got his minder with him," I pointed out. For also watching Jasper's frolicking was Leo, keeping an eye out and making sure his litle brofur didn't come to any harm.

Leo and I don't get on. My mum has more than once had to tell him to leave me be.

Mum opened the door and went out. Leo knew his cue "Come on Jasper" he called and trotted towards the back of the garden. Jasper started to follow him but then he reconsidered. He had been enjoying my garden; he has no reason to fear my mum - indeed he started towards her.

Poor Leo was on the horns of a dilemma - should he stay and rescue Jasper or should he leave that kitten to his fate?

After a few hesitations he must have concluded that Jasper's charm would have to save him, Leo slipped behind the shed and was gone. Jasper was rather less brave now his body guard had deserted him so made a rather sharp about-turn and also vanished.

That was good as my mum was all set for more petting with Jasper and he may be small but she has two cats of her own that need loving!


Not a kitten fan

September 24th 2014 10:37 pm
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I was heading out last night when I saw something that made me freeze.

"What are you looking at?" asked my mum. Whilst we can use our magic door perefectly well we do prefer to have her hold it open for us so that's what she was doing.

"Oh, how cute. Hi Jasper!" for bold as brass on our fence there stood necxt door's kitten. He squeaked back at my mum.

She went out and stretched a hand up and he was giving her headrubs and squeaking away. I went out and glared at her. She came towards me but I stomped off. Hands that pet kittens shall not pet me!!

"You were that small once," she said. "And you had better be kind to him because he'll probably end up bigger than you."

She does say the most ridiculous things.

Then my mum got her phone and checked the pictures of the other tabby kitten that she saw and it definitely wasn't Jasper so we still don't know who it was. We haven't seen it since anyway. I expect it found the way back to its own home. I really don't like kittens coming along and claiming my mum.


New food

September 23rd 2014 10:11 pm
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"Toby - stop that!" said my mum.

I was quietly eating my breafast at this moment, as well-behaved as a cat can be. Sometimes I think my mum tells me off just to keep her hand in.

"Poor Josie. Here's his bowl. You finish that off."

Oh that!

We had new kitty food this morning and I can't tell you how good it is. Little tiny chunks, delicious jelly, just the best. I was tucking in when I wondered if Josie had also been so fortunate as to get the new food. As a concerned brofur I had to check. Yes, she had the same but now I was eating from her bowl no sense in going back. Not if they were the same.

I think my mum thought I was stealing Josie's breakfast but I wouldn't do that.

"This is amazingly yummy," I said, carefully licking round the bowl in case I had missed a morsel.

"Are you sure?" asked my mum. "It was pretty cheap." (That's my mum!)

"You should buy loads and loads," I suggested.

"I'm not getting caught out by that one again!"

The fact is we enjoy variety. It gets boring if you have the same day after day and we go off it. Mum says she is pretty sure the lion in the wild doesn't say, "Oh no - not antelope again" but is happy for what he has. Us little cats with our food in neat sachets would say that for sure.


I worked it out

September 22nd 2014 10:41 pm
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Why people have those enormous noses.

For years I thought my mum must have an amazing sense of smell but she told me that cat's little button noses actually are better - and we have those glands in our mouths for really important smelling which they don't.

They really lucked out on the whole senses thing. Their funny foldy ears don't even move so people can't hear like we can hear.

"Is there any sense peoples have which is better than cats have?" I pondered.

"We can see better," claimed my mum. A somewhat unlikely boast.

"Have you seen yourself blundering about in the dark?" I asked. "No, you have not for you can't see a thing. Josie and I can and you are very funny I can tell you."

"We see better in the day," said my mum.

I could only stare. "You walked into a large bed and broke your toe," I reminded her. "Apparently you failed to see that. Can you imagine even Jasper the kitten failing to notice a bed?"

"We can see colours that you can't"

She wasn't giving up on this one. I was beginning to feel quite sorry for her.

"Of course you can and I'm sure they are lovely. What colour am I in people speak?"

She didn't want to answer that as we both know. "Black with white patches."

"Strangely similar to how cats see me, many would argue." Poor mum. I am so glad I am a cat and not people. No wonder we need so much sleep when we are doing all the seeing, hearing and smelling around here.

Oh and why do they have those big noses? Because they are easy for cats to reach and tap to wake our peoples up. You can safely bat their noses for hours if needs be and never miss once.


The Strawberry Hill House Cat

September 21st 2014 10:35 pm
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Mum was gone most of the day on Saturday. When she came back she was rambling on about to me some old house she had visited - she liked it but it sounded very dull until she mentioned a cat she met in the grounds. "He looked just like you."

"Unusually handsome?"

"Black with a white patch on his chest," she said.

"So yes, very handsome. Did he let you stroke him?" I asked.

"He did," she confirmed. "We had a lovely chat."

I considered this. "I expect that was the highlight for you," I commented.

"Well - there was this amazing Gothic architecture...." she caught my hard stare. "Yes, that was the best bit of the day."

"Of the outing," I corrected. "Your best bit of the day was when I woke you up."

"At 5am. Can we talk about that?"

But I remembered some urgent business elsewhere so I never did find out what she wanted to say. It is kind of other cats to look after my mum once in a while when she's out and about.

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