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Toby's Diary

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Mum has gone crazy

February 8th 2015 10:44 pm
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I know this isn't exactly a surprise and we're doing our best for her.

I caught her - and I blush to tell - putting a pint of milk through our magic door. The whole bottle; she wasn't pouring it. She plonked it down in the garden and left it there.

"Shouldn't that live on the fridge?" I asked. I like a drop of milk in the morning so do have an interest in these things.

"The fridge is broken," she told me. "Outside is colder than inside so I thought that would be the best place for the milk."

"And you couldn't be bothered to keep opening the back door so you're using ours?"


A whole load of food had to be thrown away although happily we had just finished up the very last of the Christmas turkey that mum had frozen in pots for us.

Mum spent a happy hour or so on her puter looking for a new one. They have to be quite short and they have to be delivered very soon. This wasn't as easy a task as she had hoped but we do have one coming. Meantime the milk, so essential for the tea that keeps my mum functioning, keeps travelling through our flap.


My mum's shocking revelation

February 5th 2015 10:51 pm
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Mum has been quite busy this week - late being home and she's been working on her Eighty Things List. For Grandpa turns eighty this week and my mum thought that she would put a list in his card of eighty things she is thankful to him for.

She got really stuck at 74 - but did make it.

"Are cats on it?" I asked.

"Twice," she replied. "Once is because he very kindly paid for the glass to be cut to put your original cat flap in and once because he never wanted us to have cats when we were growing up but when Wellington arrived he let him stay."

I've seen pictures of Wellington who was a large, white cat they had when my mum was a little girl. Then my mum said something that shocked me.

"He was only a tiny kitten when we got him and I was terrified of him."

"You? Scared of a kitten?" I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

"Back then I was, yes," she said, "I thought cats were all teeth and claws. But after I got used to Wellington - well, I love cats now."

"Mostly me and Josie," I added.

She scritched my back. "I love all cats but yes, especially the ones I get to live with."

Thank goodness for Grandpa letting Wellington stay and turning my mum form cat-fearer to cat-lover.

She would not cope very well without us keeping an eye on her.


I am fed up with Josie

February 4th 2015 10:42 pm
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Does anyone want her? She doesn't eat much and doesn't snore really.

Last night I decided to go under the throw like she does, nestled in a little tent, all snug and cosy. When she does that I leave her be. Did she leave me be? Did she heck! I felt an inquisitive paw pat me so I tapped back and then I got prodded and poked until there was no standing it.

Out I burst and chased her all around the flat.

"You are so cute when you play together," said my mum happily, apparently unaware that this was serious.

All I wanted was a snooze. So I don't want Josie any more.

Oh - actually my mum says she loves Josie so I can't give her away.

"Are you sure?" I asked, "Even though she steals your seat."

"I am sure," said my mum, "I love you both and neither of you are going anywhere."

I suppose that's that then. I'll have to get back at Josie another way.


Josie's Project

February 3rd 2015 10:37 pm
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By the time my mum came home last night all the snow had gone so we went out - but not for long.

"It's still really cold out there," I told my mum who reckons she knew that on account of being the one who has to go out to work in it every day. "I get so bored being stuck in all the time," I sighed, "I wish I had a project like Josie does."

"What project?" asked my mum.

"Hear that noise? That gentle ripping sound?" I asked my mum. We both listened. "That project."

Mum went through to the bedroom where Josie has been patiently working on her hobby - removing the wallpaper frieze that travels round the wall. It's a lengthy task as it goes all round but Josie has been making good progress.

"Josie! No!" said my mum. Josie is assuming this is 'No' like 'No on the kitchen sides' meaning 'not when I can see you'. She's come too far to give up now. How the long winter evenings will fly by. Now what can I be working on??


I played a trick on my mum

February 2nd 2015 10:40 pm
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I had a good rootle through my toy box. I knew exactly what I wanted.

"Too big. Hm. Too purple. A fish." Then, "That's the one. Perfect!"

One small grey toy mouse. Most life-like. Exactly what I wanted. Now to leave it where my mum would sort of see it. Not the bright light of the middle of the room but shaded by a chair. Perfect. Now to sit back and wait.

She did not disappoint. She was watching TV when she noticed it. There was a sort of yelp. Then, "that's a toy," then, "it has to be a toy."

She went over and peered at it keeping a good distance. Then lights full on in the room and a very ginger poke of it.

"A toy! Thank goodness."

Rather meanly she has thrown that mouse away. She says I have lots of others that aren't so realistic and she doesn't think she can handle the stress.

Oh well it was funny while it lasted.

We have snow today but not very much. Josie and I aren't taking any chances though and are staying in.


A well trained mum

February 1st 2015 10:44 pm
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"I got it," she said proudly when she came in on Saturday having been grocery shopping.

"What is it? I want some," I said. Always best to get that in early.

She produced a crinkly bag. My instincts on such matters are always sound. It took her a while to get it open but I stood by encourgaing her and finally.

"Felix Twists. I saw them advertised weeks ago and I've looked everywhere for them and finally found them. What do you think?"

She placed a deliciously scented morsel in front of me. But hm. Too chunky to eat. I like my treats mouth-sized. I trotted after her. "Do you have any others?"

"What? All that looking and you don't like them?"

"Not really."

"Did Josie eat hers?" mum wondered but Josie seems to have reached the same conclusion I did.

Don't worry - they weren't wasted, mum broke them into smaller pieces and we ate them. She is very well-trained, tracking down treats she thinks we'll like, serving them up in dainty portions. I think we'll keep her.


Learning more about animals

January 29th 2015 10:48 pm
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My mum was late home again yesterday - she had been at a trade fair she said. So far as I can judge this is a place where they give her a large bag and she walks round and fills it with stuff, mostly leaflets, but some more interesting things. She says she attended loads of seminars and was now really tired.

We like tired mum. She settled back on the sofa and is happy to stroke my back until I doze off. No dozing yesterday though. We had the second part of the programme about pets to watch.

"Look at those crazy cats," I laughed. They had been eating catnip and were all blissed out. I didn't know catnip is a plant, I thought it grew in toys. Mum said I am like that on the nip but I'm sure I'm not. Josie now!

They also showed a cat drinking in slow motion. How neat and elegant we are. They then showed a dog and they are extremely sloppy when they drink. They had other animals - guniea pigs and horses and an intrepid hamster but mostly I learnt that cats are vastly superier to dogs, which I'm fairly sure I knew.


More kitty treats

January 28th 2015 10:54 pm
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Post is normally very dull - my mum picks it up and sighs - but yesterday we had a good letter.

"The insurers settled your claim Josie," said my mum, waving a cheque. "That's good." This was for when Josie had her ingrown claw.

I tried to see how much it was for. "How many bags of treats could you buy with that?" I asked.

Mum thought. "About seventeen."

Now the hard part - should we go for Dreamies, Felix, Sticks, Pockets....choices, choices!!

"Ah hem!" said my mum. "That's actually my money. I paid out and they took an awful lot more than seventeen bags worth off as excess."

I sighed. "Ok. Sixteen bags of treats and a chocolate bar for you."

"You still have Christmas treats left," she said.

"That's only because you are so mean at dispensing them," I replied, "and you still have Christmas chocolate."

So we haven't actually decided. Well - we have and mum just doesn't know it yet but she will.


Burrito cat

January 27th 2015 10:48 pm
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I had the snuggle rug yesterday and was enjoying its delightful warmth. I felt rather than heard Josie come up and glare at me and then she trotted off to complain to mum.

"The bed by the radiator is free," said my mum, "or you could cuddle up on these cushions here."

But the complaining continued until I heard my mum laugh, "Or I could wrap you up in the throw like a little burrito cat."

Mum made good her threat and there was the sound of much squiggling, wriggling and giggling and Josie started purring. Apparently being bundled up agrees with her.

"I do actually think you're getting more weird every day," said mum to Josie. At last she's noticed!

But when she had enough of being a burrito Josie settled herself on mum's lap and they both looked so content that I went and sat on the arm of the sofa next to them and we were cosy as can be. Winter nights can be rather enjoyable when you do them right.


Sometimes love is all you can do

January 26th 2015 10:45 pm
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My mum had a bad day yesterday. Firstly she had no breakfast. Happily we could still have ours. She said she was off for a fasting blood test.

"I would cheat and have a nibble while they weren't looking," I said.

"I know you would," she replied, "but that would defeat the purpose."

When she came back she was straight to the kettle. Deprive my mum of food if you will but never make her wait for a cup of tea.

But her sad day was not over for off she went out again to a funeral. When she came back she was very sad. I don't like to see her sad so I sat on the arm of the sofa next to her, cranked up my loudest rumble purrs and gave her nose rubs until she smiled again.

"I love you Toby," she said, snuggling me back. That's me - mender of broken hearts extrodinaire.

Today looks like being a normal off to the office day and I think she'll appreciate that after yesterday. Josie and I will be purring for everyone where that enormous storm is due to be today. It looks very scary.

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