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Toby's Diary

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Josie in trouble again

March 25th 2015 11:39 pm
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We were all sound asleep last night when I was woken by a gentle scrabble. I looked up and saw Josie poised on the chest of drawers.

"Shh!" she whispered, shooting me a warning look, "There's a mouse or something under mum's duvet and I'm going to get it."

With that she bounded down on to the bed and grabbed the lump she had seen, full-blown hunter mode, she grabbed the top with her front paws and struck forcefully and repeatedly with her hind legs.

"Josie - I'm pretty sure that's..." I started to say.

"Ouch! That's my hand," interrupted my mum, pulling her hand away from Josie and tucking it under her, out of reach.

I swear Josie was sniggering as she ran out of the room without so much as an apology.

"Well there's a new and unwelcome way to wake up," said my mum, not looking best pleased. Lucky for Josie mum has a forgiving nature.


Mum's bad morning

March 24th 2015 11:48 pm
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Once someone vacates a seat that seat becomes available for any cat that wants it. That is the rule and it applies even if it is my mum doing the vacating and even if she's having a bad morning.

Yesterday started well. She did not go to work and we like that. She was explaining that she took the day off as she had an event to attend in the afternoon and a dentist appointment in the morning. Only the afternoon thing had been cancelled.

Then the phone rang - the dentist was sick, that was cancelled.

"So I took a whole day holiday for nothing," she sighed. "Maybe we'll all just veg in front of the TV...hello - why is the telly box showing that code?"

She phoned the telly box people and they had her pushing buttons and switching things to no avail. It was while she was busy doing all that that I seized the moment and her chair.

"No, no," I heard her say, "I'll be working. He'll have to come Saturday."

It was when she put the phone down she saw me. "Toby! Really? Now even my cats are conspiring against me."

I did feel sorry for her but rules is rules and the cushion was so very comfy.

"I shall spend today wallowing in misery," she announced. We all spent a few minutes contemplating such a day. "Actually no I won't," decided my mum, "I don't think I would enjoy that."

Funnily enough once she turned her attitude around her day turned around - the dentist rang back - another dentist had a cancellation, would she like an 11.15 appointment? Yes she would. The telly box people texted - it was a fault in the area not in her box and would be all fixed soon. And other things fell into place.

And I spent most of the day on the cushion and it was dleightful.


What I love about Spring

March 24th 2015 12:01 am
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Hunting season is nearly with us. I see lots more birds out there and I'm going to get one. Oh yes I am! Mum says please don't but I know she doesn't want me to go to any bother. It is no bother at all. I love to hunt.

Sadly so far they have all flown away and I haven't got one yet but we are only just at the beginning of the season. It is that bit lighter and warmer in the mornings so I start hunting early - no time for my usual snuggles. Mum says she misses them but she'll have to pet Josie instead.

Another thing I love is that day when mum suddenly announces the clocks are changing and everything happens an hour earlier. I don't know how or why she does that but we are perfectly happy to go along with it. Indeed Josie and I are making sure we don't miss the day by waking her up an hour early every day just in case. She's not as grateful as you would expect.

The great outdoors beckons. Off I go!


A worrisome weekend

March 22nd 2015 11:38 pm
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I'll start by saying the clips was a big disappointment.

You know when it gets a bit dark outside and you bury your face in your paws and your mum says, "It looks like rain" and then it rains.

It was like that without the rain. I don't think I'll bother again.

Then on Saturday my mum did something terrible. She thought we wouldn't know but we could smell him on her hands. She went to a friend's house and cuddled the new puppy. For some time. She brazenly admitted it.

"He is a Black Labrador and he is so cute and his head and paws are just a bit too big for his body and did I say how cute he is?...." On and on she went.

Then a hideous thought struck me. Occasionally she's talked about stuff she's admired in someone else's home and in due course we've got one. I don't mind of it's a type of cushion or a phone or anything really but I do not want a puppy.

I have been extra affectionate so she'll know she doesn't need one. Lots of headrubs, I even purred when she picked me up which I don't normally do. It worked in so far as we got some turkey to eat and she hasn't mentioned the puppy lately. Paws crossed and all that!


A Clipse of the sun

March 19th 2015 11:32 pm
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This morning we are having a clipse of the sun. This is where the moon passes in between the sun and the earth and blocks some of the light. This has never, ever happened before.

"Toby - it has."


"It happens quite a lot. We've definitely had them in the UK before."

"I do not remember this."

"It was before you were born."

Ah - that mysterious time mum invents stories about - before I was borned. I'm pretty sure nothing really worthwhile happened before I was here to witness it.

Mum spluttered in her tea. She loves history and learning about the past. She even claims there exists a time before she was borned and lots of things happened then.

"Did they involve cats?"

"Mostly not."

My point is proven, nothing significant.

Anyway I am quite excited to see the clipse although it is cloudy in London this morning so mum says there won't actually be much to see.


Mum's embarrassing moment

March 18th 2015 11:41 pm
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My mum loves her job but her office has one major flaw - no animals. Most of them are animal lovers and there are pictures galore of cats and dogs but not one actual pet.

So every lunch time my mum takes herself off for a walk. She knows all the best places to meet friendly dogs (most of which she now knows by name) and where the sociable cats live. This carries her through until she is back with us once more.

Yesterday she met a cat she hadn't seen before. He stopped and looked at her so my mum told him how handsome he is (long-hair black and white apparently). He said meow, politely. Then my mum commented on the lovely day and he meowed again and emboldened by this my mum moved in for the stroke.

Too soon - they hadn't been introduced. He backed off hastily and my mum felt bad. She backed away too so he wouldn't feel threatened. "I mean you no harm," she explained, "I think you are gorgeous."

Then she heard a laugh, looked up and saw a woman watching her, clearly wondering just why my mum was apologising to a cat.

To my mum this is of course normal behaviour but she is aware not everyone can communicate with cats. She smiled at the woman and walked on. Serve my mum right for petting other cats!


I want it too...whatever it is

March 17th 2015 11:34 pm
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Cosy quiet night last night. Lucky for Josie I am not a fan of the lap so she could curl up on mum's lap all contentedly and I nestled beside them and mum watched a programme about a handsome fluffy black and white cat.

Oh - she says it was about what people ate in the 50s and the cat wasn't even mentioned. We did see him a few times though and when you look that good people know it's all about you even if that isn't mentioned.

Then mum said it was bedtime so Josie and I played tag for a while. Then I heard Josie mewing desperately and mum saying, "Let me put it down for you."

I went running in. "I want it too." That made my mum laugh. "You don't even know what it is." If Josie wants it that's good enough for me.

And I did. Mum had put fresh water in our glass, all yummy and cool , and we were thirsty from all that running around. I drank long and deep and then so did Josie.

"You do know you have a bowl of water down?" mum said, watching us. But that had been hanging around since morning time.


Saddest news on Chaos

March 16th 2015 11:37 pm
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He got worse and worse so the vet operated and found that he had cancer, and it had really spread. His mum took the tough decision to release him from the pain and now he is at the Bridge.

Peoples don't properly understand the Bridge and get very sad when their cats go there. Mum was telling me the news and I was listening sympathetically when Josie came in, once again completely mis-reading the mood.

"I am actually running at a million miles an hour" she shouted as she passed.

"You are completely crazy," said my mum.

"Can't hear you over the sound barrier breaking," Josie called back, continuing to run.

I held off as long as I could but Josie clearly wanted to be chased and I really wanted to chase her. Mum wasn't going to shout at us today, not even when I skidded so hard on the bedside table and knocked the alarm clock on the floor.

But I did give her special Toby love at bedtime. Leaning right in her ear and purring so she couldn't miss it.

My mum's friend does have other cats and a dog even who will be looking after her too. Us animals must stick together when our people need us.



March 15th 2015 11:41 pm
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Mum had a quiet weekend so she said it was time for housework. I have mixed feelings about this. I like the feather duster and Josie and I enjoy chasing that around. I like when my mum moves furniture and finds toys we had forgotten we had lost. I do not like the hoover and I do not like her being noisy when I'm trying to sleep. And I do not like her cleaning our paw prints off everywhere.

The kitchen you realise will lose its decoration fast but when we've gone to the trouble of saving mud as we walk about and distributing them in every room - well, that should be respected. It wasn't. The good news is that it's raining today so we can be doing some replacement work. When it's stopped raining I mean. Josie and I have both had a look and don't fancy outdoors for now.

And please can you be purring for my mum's friend's cat which is called Chaos. He is not living up to his name, not playing, not eating - even tuna fish which is his favourite. So far all his tests have come back negative so they don't know what is wrong so he has to keep going back. He is only four so Josie and I are purring for him to be better.


A pensive mum

March 11th 2015 11:39 pm
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My mum was a bit sad yesterday. She still misses Henry and yesterday was his Bridge Day. And a friend of hers at work has a cat who is very unwell but they don't know why and he's had loads of tests but they can't work it out. Mum was talking to her just before she came home. She sat next to me and sighed.

"Why do we put ourselves through it?"

She rubbed my head. I purred. I was about to come out with an amazingly well thought through philosophical statement about love and life and the nature of eternity when Josie bounded in.

Failing entirely to pick up on the mood she did a quick circuit of the room and ran out. We heard sniggering and she ran back in and started pouncing on invisible mice.

Mum and I watched her in bemusement, then a smile started on mum's face.

"You are completely crazy," she said to Josie. Josie pursued one of her invisible mice around the back of the armchair and came out triumphant; imaginary mice being so much easier to catch than the real things.

"I think that's why," mum commented. "We're all completely crazy!"

"In a good way," I added. "In a very good way."

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