Toby's Diary

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Dinner Guests

December 15th 2013 10:45 pm
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We had friends visiting for dinner on Saturday. We knew something was up because my mum started housework first thing and she doesn't normally do that. Josie and I got very tired supervising everything because mum was changing things around.

When she laid the table I jumped up on it to check she was putting the cutlery right.

"Do that when my friends come," said my mum, "Everyone likes to see a cat on the dining table." At least I think that's what she said, there might have been some don'ts and nots in there too but I hate to be negative!

When people started arriving mum was putting nibblies out in bowls - checking them off as she did so - "Christmas tree shaped tortilla chips. Nutty things. Salsa dip."

My friend Dee was watching me. "Toby looks like he's expecting something."

I was. Surely a bowl would appear with fishy crunchy things for Toby. But it didn't.

Then I remembered my instructions and jumped up on the table to show how well it had been laid. Mum was saying, "I have no idea what he's doing there. He knows he's not allowed" but I know no such thing.

Later they played a game and Josie joined in. Mum won't play board games with us because she says we cheat. We don't. It's just sometimes the dice rolls wrong and you have to pat it about a few times to get the right number so Josie was helpfully doing that.

We like having dinner guests as they always admire us and also the next day my mum was really tired so we had lots of happy sleepy times all together on the sofa. This is a good day!


Uh oh! Now I have to be good!

December 12th 2013 11:12 pm
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I was banking on Josie being the good cat and snabbling her gifts but she has turned naughty.

First there was the parading round in mum's vest and she's been bad again.

Yesterday she scrambled up on a shelf to inspect the Christmas cards proudly displayed. Now Josie doesn't read too well but she can pick out her own name. She walked carefully all the way along the shelf peering in to each and every card but failed to see a single mention of either of us, just mum's name receiving the festive wishes.

So she turned around and with with one devastating sweep of her tail sent all the cards flying to the floor. Now there would be room for our cards - or at least cards from those friends who know mum enough to mention us.

I couldn't help noticing mum looked less than happy with that development so quickly rushed over to be a good cat and redress the balance. Apparently it's hard to eat your supper and rub your cat's head at the same time but that's not really my problem. I was being nice- did you see that Sandy Claws?


Haunted House

December 11th 2013 10:38 pm
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We had a real live ghost in our home yesterday. Mum and I both saw the small white wraith as it glided silently across the hall.

"What the heck was that?" asked my mum. She had just caught it out of the corner of her eye.

With more courage than common sense she set off to find out and a few minutes later I heard her laughing.

Turns out it was Josie but not in her usual tortie colours.

In the cold my mum often wears thermal vests which she says are very light to wear and keep her cosy-snug. Now if there is one creature who likes cosy-snug it's Josie. That crazy cat had seen one of mum's vests hanging on the airer drying, had slipped her head through the neck of the vest and walked off wearing it - creating one small white spectre.

Normally we hate any stuff round our necks and if anything gets caught there it's major panic time but Josie said this was surprisingly comfortable and she was sorry when my mum took it off her but mum said it might catch on something - and it was her vest anyway - so Josie had to go back to the favoured sleeping over a warm pipe method of keeping warm.


Mum went shopping

December 10th 2013 10:35 pm
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She was late home last night so we were worried about her.

"I had two very important missions," she explained.

"Did you buy us kitty food?" I aaked.

"Yes," she replied and all was pretty much forgiven then...wait a minute... what is that? She reached down, picked it up and brought it in so I could get a better look. Just to be on the safe side I retreated to a safe distance and let Josie take the first sniff.

"It's a tree," she declared, "You can come out now Toby."

I wasn't hiding, I wasn't. I was just letting it be Ladies First.

So yes, we have our Christmas Tree. Mum hasn't decorated it yet but she will.

Mum also had a mystery long stick which she reckons is a curtain pole. She said if she put it up in the kitchen we could have a curtain over the door to keep the warm in. I think she's forgotten that we have our door there. How would we get in if there was a curtain in the way? Luckily DIY isn't xactly her thing so we probably won't have to worry. t


December 9th 2013 10:39 pm
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Normally when my mum goes to work it's time for Josie and me to catch up on our beauty sleep as it's all peaceful. Then we can be sure to be full of beans when she comes home and needs entertaining.

Yesterday we hardly got any sleep at all. Upstairs was all crash, bang, whallop! Surely they found the source of our leak with all that.

When my mum came home we were saying to her, "You won't believe..." and she was saying "You won't believe what's outside - pretty much all the kitchen." They had dismantled the units and they were all piled up in the garden.

We are getting a new neighbour and it seems the landlord has taken the chance of upstairs being empty to do some refurb. I hope our new neighbour likes cats a lot but doesn't have one; my mum hopes they are quiet - but agrees liking cats wouldn't be a bad thing. All the best people like cats!

I hope we get more sleep today though.


Back in Sandy Claws Good Books

December 8th 2013 10:36 pm
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I hope! I have been being helpful.

On Friday my mum was cleaning out the fridge and Josie and I helped by hanging around offering to eat up anything she found in there that would be nice in a cat's tummy. She kept pushing us away but we like to help.

Then she made some more Christmas cards. I was relieved as she didn't seem to have made enough for all my Catster friends to have one each.

But apparently these were for her friends instead and I did try and help but she was all, "Mind the glue Toby" and "Those are still drying Toby" and "Keep out of the glitter Toby" and "I SAID - mind the glue Toby" so not much fun at all.

She says we'll put a picture of Josie and my card on my page and wish you all a Happy Christmas that way as she wouldn't have enough stamps for all of you.

Yesterday was a bit warmer and I think Spring may be back and I did lots of running about in the garden which I liked. Mum says it isn't but she's glad I did the running as that makes me a nicer cat in the evening. I don't know what she means by that.

And they did come and look at the wet from upstairs. It's seeping rather than pouring so we have dry paws but it's obviously not a good thing. It continues to seep but hopefully will be fixed soon.


To be naughty or nice?

December 5th 2013 11:17 pm
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That remains the dilemma. I had some good suggestions from my Catster pals yesterday. I am pretty sure that one big eyed look at Sandy Claws and all will be forgiven. That works on my mum every time. But what if he didn't bring my presents at all? He'll be thinking how cute I am and what I deserve and all those treats and toys will be sitting on a bench in the North Pole being enjoyed by the Elves.

Of course he'll have Josie's toys and stuff with him. She is pretty much always a good cat so maybe he'll give me hers.

Actually - even if he doesn't - what's hers is mine. I was so relieved when I worked that one out. I can be naughty as I like and Josie can be nice and I'll get good stuff from Sandy Claws because I'll take hers.

I actually realised this around 2am.

I woke my mum up to tell her all about it. I was so pleased with myself and purring away as I wanted to explain my theory then and there before I forgot it. My mum wasn't very nice so maybe she won't get anything either and we'll all share Josie's!

Now we're just all relying on Josie to stay nice.

Today we're having a happy day. We have had water coming through from upstairs - again! - and mum is staying home as someone is coming to see what's going on. They reckon they can't see anything up there but we surely can down here. Mum doesn't see that as a happy day but any day she is home is a happy one for us.


I used up my Being Good Quota

December 4th 2013 10:52 pm
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I really hope Sandy Claws was busy elsewhere last night. All that being a good cat on Tuesday had worn me out and Naughty Toby was unleashed.

He has to come out and play sometimes!!

I beat up Josie; I climbed the curtains; I bit my mum (not hard but she was ignoring me!); I was having a marvellous time but mum wasn't so impressed and neither was Josie. She sat on the mantlepiece glowering at me.

I was about to jump up and fight her there but mum called me. She got the mouse chase game out for me and I got my best ever score. I found you can drag the mouse about with your paw which is cool. I never quite managed to get him off the tablet though which is a bit annoying.

Then mum got Da Bird whirring about and I ran and ran until I could run no more.

"Have you run all that naughty out of your system?" asked my mum.

And I had. Josie could climb down from her safety place and Sandy Claws could once again look in our direction. I think I got away with it....I hope I did...


Cheering my mum up

December 3rd 2013 10:40 pm
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My mum was a bit sad last night. She is sad about Ka-zar and she has other friends who are having a bad time right now so she came home from work and sat on the sofa and sighed.

"What's it all about Toby?" she asked.

She needed help and fast and luckily Josie and I were on hand.

I went in the garden to find her a present - a cute little mouse? a funny hopping frog? a whirring bird to fly about? Hm. Such gifts were hard to find. Then I saw the perfect things fluttering about. I grabbed it and ran back to my door.

When mum came to let me in she saw I had something in my mouth and was already squealing in that excited way of hers as I dropped it.

A crunkly, rustly brown leaf.

"Oh Toby," said my mum, picking it up, "What a relief!" So she was already happier.

Then Josie sat on mum's lap and purred and I sat beside her and she had to be happy that we were there to look after her. (I hope Sandy Claws is reading this and popping a few extra gifts in our stockings!!)


Cats and technology

December 2nd 2013 10:28 pm
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We have our own app!! Mum downloaded a game for cats to play.

Josie saw it first. It's not like mum's games; it's much more elegant and straightforward - like us cats. Mum was showing Josie and Josie was looking at the screen. And looking. And looking.

"Go on," said my mum, "See what score you can get."

And Josie went on looking and looking at the screen - which squeaked every now and then.

Later she showed me. In the screen there is a small mouse that runs around. Occasionally he disappears under the edge and you have to run round really fast so he doesn't escape out of the tablet. It's brilliant.

"Try tapping where you see him," said my mum demonstrating. "You get points".

So I did but I didn't get any points. Mum said I need to tap harder but I prefer my version of the game where I run around the tablet and keep the mouse safely inside. He didn't escape so I think we can safely say I won. Of course!

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