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Toby's Diary

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We love sunny weather

April 12th 2015 10:35 pm
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On Friday it was glorious. When my mum came home from work Josie and I were primed and ready to go, jostling for position by our magic door.

"Open it! Open it!" we demanded.

"No supper?" asked my mum in surprise.

"How can you even think of food when the sun is calling us like that?"

So mum held open our magic door and out we shot.

"You two don't get any less weird," she commented later. "Why did you wait for me to come home? You can and do go through that door any time you like in the day."

Peoples will never truly understand cats.

Oh and just for reference neither Josie nor I have any idea how the lamp ended up in the fruit bowl. It's just one of those mysteries and we're sorry about the squashed grapes but they are nothing to do with us or any game of tag that might have been enjoyed over the weekend.


An unusual name for a cat

April 9th 2015 10:02 pm
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One of the perks of my mum's job is hearing what her customers call their pets and she often tells us. Most popular at the moment is Poppy for girls and Alfie for boys apparently.

"Not Toby?" I asked.

"We get a few."

"More than you get Josies I bet," I said.

"That is true as it happens."

Of course it is.

And yesterday they insured a cat called Meow.


"That's right."

"That's brilliant! Why aren't I called Meow?"

"Because when I am in the garden calling you and the neighbours hear me say Toby! Toby! Toby! they know I'm looking for you. If I go in the garden and call Meow! Meow! Meow! they'll think I have finally snapped my tenuous link with reality,"

"You never call me," I pointed out. I rarely go out of hearing range of the kitty treat drawer. I don't want Josie eating my Dreamies! In fact my mum reckons if I am out I can even tell if she is thinking about opening the drawer and this is indeed true. So she doesn't need to call me in and I could be called Meow!


I think it must be officially Spring

April 8th 2015 10:26 pm
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My mum mowed the lawn. For the very first time this year we had all the doors and windows open.

As you can imagine this made Josie and I pretty excited. It wasn't just Josie doing crazy cat circuits.

In fact I enjoyed it all so much I woke my mum bright and early this morning so we could do it all again but apparently mowing your lawn in frowned upon at 5am. Peoples have strange rules!


It's fun to stare

April 7th 2015 10:38 pm
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I played this game yesterday. Pick a time when your mum is just doing something other than pay attention to you - in our case finishing her supper - position yourself in an alert pose in a place where you have a good view and stare.

Stare like you aren't even sure who she is, let alone what she's doing in your home. And wait.

"Hi Toby"

She notices me now. Keep staring.

"You've seen me eat yoghurt before."

Still more staring as if that isn't true.

"Stop doing that. It's creeping me out."

Ah hah! I win. Keep staring.

"You're weird."

When she gets personal maybe time to stop. But it is funny to do. I do recommend it if you have ten minutes to spare.


Getting back to normal

April 6th 2015 10:29 pm
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After my mum has been away I always worry that she'll have forgotten all her training. I give her extra reminders to be where she's supposed to be at any given moment.

She says she's pretty sure she won't have forgotten that we need feeding or that I like my tummy rubbed in the morning or any of those other important jobs but there's never any harm in some reminder meows!!

Josie has been limpet cat; on my mum whenever she can be. Too often in my view. Yesterday I came in and there she was, curled up on mum's lap. I went right up to her, nose to nose, and she knew I disapproved and off she trotted.

"Toby - that was mean. What did you do?"

"I did nothing," I replied honestly. It's all in the eyes.

So yes,we're getting back in our good routines again. Us cats do lie our routines.


Mum went away

April 5th 2015 11:54 pm
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I expect she needed a break from crazy Josie.

When mum came back she had a scratch on her neck. I do not approve of other cats scratching my mum.

"Who done that?" I asked.

"Little Bertie, my friend's new kitten," she replied.

"What did you do to annoy him so?"

"Picked him up for a cuddle."

She does that to me. Holds me close and tells me she loves me but I never scratch her.

"I don't think he meant to. After that he did purr and lick my nose."

Bertie was a Christmas present that someone realised they didn't want. Kittens all look adorable but mum says they are hard work. (I'm pretty sure I was perfect!) Bertie is as lively a kitten as you could wish and his new owner quickly decided that cat ownership wasn't for her.

Luckily mum's friends are used to cats and have room in their homes and hearts for another. So he is cheerfully wreaking havoc there now.


What to do about a crazy cat?

April 2nd 2015 10:55 pm
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Josie is showing no signs of calming down.

In the wee small hours she suddenly pranced around the the bedroom, bouncing on everything, declaring, "Paaarrtaaay!!"

Mum looked at her somewhat groggily. "Not partay! Sleep!"

Josie kept bouncing round.

"If you don't sort yourself out I'm going to sleep with the door shut and you on the other side of it," said my mum.

"Would you shut Toby out?" asked Josie, looking at me, curled up good as gold.

"No, of course not," said my mum.

So Josie reckons it would be have to be both of us if it was even one at all so reckons she is safe to carry on with her exuberant ways at all hours of the day and night.

I think we're all hoping that when Josie can go outdoors, when the weather is nicer, she'll be bale to run off her energy there.


An argument with my mum

April 1st 2015 10:34 pm
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If something sounds like a bag of kitty treats it had better be a bag of kitty treats.

I heard that distinctive plastic ripping sound of her opening a new packet. I ran over immediately - a new bag is always a delight. Will it be the return of an old favourite or will it be some new morsel of delishessness cooked up by the wonderful peoples at the kitty treat making place?

I gazed up in wide-eyed anticipation.

"Oh Toby," said my mum, "Did you think it was treats for you? It's a bag of dental flossers." She held them down for me to sniff. Slightly minty. Ugh!

But I waited for you cannot get a cat all happily expectant of treats and then not deliver. Surely she would open the drawer and give me some Dreamies or Felix Mix or ....

And this is where the argument happened. Apparently she can get her cat all happily ... and then not deliver the goods.

I feel woefully let down.


Josie still crazy

March 31st 2015 10:58 pm
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I'm not sure how much more of this I can take.

I was talking with my mum when I noticed something unusual going on behind her.

"What's Josie doing?" I asked.

Mum turned around. "I'm not sure. What are you doing Poppet?"

"Just one more wriggle and I'm there," declared Josie happily as she vanished behind the fridge.

"Why?" asked my mum.

"I'm behind the fridge because I'm such a cool cat. Get it?! Cool cat! I write all my own material and I'm here all week folks."

Mum and I exchanged glances. "Is there nothing you can do for her?" I pleaded.

Out Josie sniggled and then up on the kitchen sides. We have one rule in our house and that's no cats on the kitchen sides when my mum is looking. She was very much looking.


That naughty tortie jumped down and ran off. I don't know what to do with her.


It's blustery out

March 30th 2015 10:31 pm
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And when it's windy that crazy tortie I live with goes even more mad. You wouldn't believe such a thing is possible.

She whipped herself up into such a frenzy running in circles that her tail fluffed up (which by the way is impressive, magnificent, or words of that ilk - not 'cute' like my mum said when she saw it!)

Josie has already been out to run some of that energy off. I'm staying right here where it's safe and warm.

Mum wants to know how and why we had the personality exchanges. It is true that I was the more adventurous one but for me maturity has brought a healthy dose of caution. For Josie - well, it's the opposite. It's like she's enjoying her kitten-hood all over again. Mum says as long as she doesn't start climbing the curtains again then it's fine - she likes to see us happy.

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