Toby's Diary

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Mum's nose

January 10th 2013 10:39 pm
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Cats, of course, have elegant, neat noses. People noses are funny sticky outy things.

At night I like to sleep on the armchair in mum's room where I can see her but not get kicked when she rolls around in her sleep, as she selfishly insists on doing. Josie sleeps in her own bed but if she wakes and feels cold or lonely or just wants company she joins mum. I see her do that. Sometimes she wakes my mum for a snuggle; sometimes she just perches on mum and waits for her to wake up.

That's what she did today. I had an idea.

"Boop mum's funny nose!"

Josie looked at me, at mum's nose and she sniggered.

"Go on! Boop it!"

So she reached down with her paw and gave the nose a good bop with the pad of her paw. Mum woke up, muttered and buried her face in the pillow. If you need a job doing properly you have to to it yourself. What does Josie think her claws are for?

I jumped over to show her what I meant. Paw lined up with nose, claws deployed and twack the nose. That got a much better reaction. Proper speech.

"What is it with you two? I'm sleeping"

That was a lie. She was wide awake and talking to us. I guess that's why people have pointy noses - so their cats have a handy waking up device.

Then I asked mum if Spring is nearly here but she says it's going to get colder again. Maybe even some snow. I wished I hadn't woken her to hear that!

 

Bad Cat Josie

January 9th 2013 10:45 pm
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It's good not to be the naughty one!

The evening started fine. Josie was helping mum cook her supper - which was Cauliflower Cheese. Josie's task was to test the cheese. She has a fine appreciation of a smidge of cheddar and could make sure that mum wasn't eating bad cheese. Mum cooked and Josie tested the samples mum gave her and all was good.

Mum ate her cauliflower cheese and Josie and I got to lick the plate after. Both of us love cheese sauce so we were happy cats. I was content to leave it there but this is where Josie gets cheeky. She wanted more and she knew where to find it.

Mum often cooks double portions - one to eat there and then, one to go in a tub with her to work the next day. She had put half her colly cheese in a tub and it was cooling on the kitchen side. Cooling lid less.

Josie very quietly and sneakily jumped up there and was scoffing the sauce - she left the colly, she's not completely selfish.

Josie reckons the best part was that as she is normally the well behaved one it took mum a few moments to register what Josie was doing. We are not allowed on the kitchen sides and we are not allowed to eat mum's food unless she puts the plate on the floor and says we may.

So I am good cat Toby who didn't eat mum's lunch and Josie is in disgrace. She says it was worth it, it was fine cheddar cheese!

 

Bored Bored Bored!

January 8th 2013 10:35 pm
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Now obviously I am an extremely brave cat and would cheerfully go and face any number of black and white cats but I thought mum and Josie might get nervous if I was out so I stayed in last night. But I was bored. So terribly bored.

In fact I got so bored I even played with my ball in a track I got for Christmas. What a swizz that is! It doesn't matter how hard you hit the ball it's never coming out. What you need to do is to take the covers off so that's where I focussed my attention. I was doing quite well but mum kept snapping them back on, she said that wasn't the point.

Josie wandered in at one point to see what we were up to so I ambushed her but missed and did a rather undignified roly-poly which made my mum laugh and Josie run away again.

Eventually after a lot of pleading mum got out cat dancer so I was chasing that about. But I want summer back and light warm evenings with all the doors open so I chase frogs again. Mum says I'll have to wait a few months yet for that. I said then she'll have to come up with some more games for me then. She sighed. It's going to be a long winter!

 

New cat in the hood

January 7th 2013 10:32 pm
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He is quite large and black and white. Mum says he looks very handsome but Josie and I don't like him. He strolled up our garden path, cool like the cucumber, and asked if he could come in.

Josie yodelled in blood curdling tones to warn him off. She sang of how our mum likes to tear unwelcome cats from limb to limb with her bare hands so he would be scared.

"Wait a minute," said mum. "I never do that. Ever."

I considered this.

"Sometimes you pick me up for a cuddle when I'm not in the mood" I pointed out.

Josie said that unwanted affection is hardly the stuff of threatening songs and carried on. Outside cat lunged at the door but the magic held firm. Josie lashed back at the glass and he was gone. After a while I courageously went out to check and our garden was catless so Josie had scared him off. (Obviously I would have been even more scary but she got there first!"

 

Christmas is officially over

January 6th 2013 10:38 pm
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At the weekend I helped my mum take down all the decorations. I will most miss the tree. I liked to bob the baubles and watch my refection wibble about. Josie will most miss - mum had put some of our cards in a display thing and Josie liked to see it she could jump over it without knocking any cards down. She couldn't but that didn't stop her trying. So she will miss that.

It's very sad when Christmas ends. Mum was cheering herself up polishing off the Christmas biscuits. I said Josie and I should cheer ourselves up and polish off our Christmas treats but mum said no.

Mum did go through all our cards and some special ones have been put by and will be made into new cards and/or gift tags for next year. That makes Christmas 2013 feel not so far away and I felt better knowing that. The flat looks very bare without all the glitter and tinsel around.

Mum says we will have to find some new ways to keep happy. Hmm.

 

A very important message for my mum

January 3rd 2013 10:40 pm
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When I run in chewing on stuff my mum always jumps up and grabs it from my jaws. She says she worries about what I might swallow but I reckon if it fits in my mouth it must be OK to eat.

We definitely don't agree on that one.

Anyway yesterday I ran in with something and she took it and, as usual, asked, "what is it?"

It was a tiny strip of paper folded up so my mum unfolded it. It had writing on - it was an important message for my mum from us. She burst out laughing when she read it.

"Wherever did you find this?"

"That doesn't matter. It's just something you need to know."

She is still puzzling over where it came from and what it belonged to but what it says is, "we're bright and breezy and full of fun." And we are! It's very tiny writing and looks like it was cut from something longer and she cannot think what that could be. Typical human - why do they want to known all the time instead of just enjoying.

 

Famous Superstar Cat

January 2nd 2013 10:43 pm
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Last night my mum watched a programme on TV that really inspired me. It was about animals that star in films and TV shows. I could do that. I would love to do that.

I see myself as a feline James Bond. I have the sophisticated good looks and could do all my own stunts. I had a practice. See the daring spy leap to safety up the curtains! See how fast he runs through the flat and flys several feet through the air! See him wriggle under the throw and appear, a silent assassin coming from nowhere, to attack the toy fish. I could do the fight scenes too only mum said to stop annoying Josie. And I would drink my milk shaken, not stirred.

I was so sure this was my destiny that I was asking my mum where I sign up. She said to watch the programme more carefully. All the animals we saw have to do just what they are told to do when they are told to do it.

I don't take direction very well.

Mum said maybe we could practice me taking instructions but I didn't think that sounded fun at all. I curled up next to her and announced that the world will be deprived of this cat superstar after all. I needed a sleep.

But I dreamed of exciting adventures as Purred, James Purred, off to the rescue!

 

Liking 2013 so far

January 1st 2013 10:44 pm
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Yesterday was all bright sunshine so I was able to make a good start to my resolution of building on my success as a mighty hunter. I caught several birds - or I would have if they hadn't flown away that is. Birds cheat like that.

Mum was doing some New Year clearing out. I thought maybe the flat should be de-cluttered by one tortie cat but mum and Josie both gave me looks that said they didn't think that was funny. I like clearing out. Mum finds odd things which all must be tested for toy potential.

Josie did not start on her resolve of more lap time and I will tell you why. My mum's sniffles from before last week never quite left and are now become sneezles. When cats (and some people) sneeze it is a delicate affair, the lightest ruffling of the air. When my mum sneezes she really goes for it. WA-CHHOOO and birds are blown off course, aeroplanes have to re-set their flight plans and the earth shifts very slightly on its axis.

She says it isn't that bad but I think it is. Her sneezes are certainly nothing a nervously minded cat like Josie can handle so lap time has to wait.

Mum also made herself a book for the year from one of her 2012 calendars. It's month sheets and blank pages so she can fill it in as she goes. She said 2012 went so fast she couldn't remember what happened so she wants to cherish 2013 more. I asked if Josie and I will go in the book and she says we will so I like her book.

 

Happy New Year Everybody!!

December 31st 2012 11:26 pm
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I didn't exactly like the start of 2013 as lots of bangs were happening and flashes in the sky but I remember they happened in November too and they don't come indoors so cats are safe on their chairs. Josie always goes under mum's bed if in any doubt.

But now it's 2013 morning Number One. No work for my mum again. That's good except she says we need to think about what we'll be doing in 2013 like our resolutions.

My resolution last year was to help more with the housework and I have done that. Sometimes mum has taken 3-4 times longer to change the sheets thanks to my intervention. A fun job like that should not be rushed! She said for this year maybe to think about what went well in 2012 and do more of that.

2012 I caught my first frog and my first mouse. I like to be the mighty hunter so I'll do more of that.

Josie says in 2012 her best bit was spending more time on mum's lap so she proposes to do more of that in 2013.

Mum says she needs to lose some of her tummy this year. Josie looked alarmed. She loves mum's squishy, soft tummy, perfect for a cat to lie on gently padding as she drifts off to sleep. Mum says not to worry, she doesn't think it will go in any massive way. She just wants her clothes to fit properly again.

So that's us all ready now. As ever we plan to have lots of fun times, lots of snuggles and a home full of love all year and we wish the same to all our Catster friends.

 

My mum's relaxing bath

December 30th 2012 10:34 pm
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For Christmas my mum got some special bubbly stuff so last night she had a special bath. I heard her pour the water and go "mmmmm" as she sniffed the bubbles and she put her pyjamas on the radiator to be toasty when she got out and she dimmed the lights and she put on her plinky plonky music and in she slid. All relaxy.

Which reminded me. I wasn't relaxy. My tummy was empty. I called her. She ignored me. I called again, louder.

"Seriously?" she called back.

"I am a poor starving cat," I gave it my most piteous mews.

"When I checked there were chunks in your dish and biscuits in your biscuit bowl" she said. She really did think she had thought of everything.

This carried on a while. I did go in and peer at her in the bubbles but I didn't want to get too close for fear of getting wet.

I thought I might actually lose this one but fate intervened on my behalf. Mum suddenly went, "NO!" And then she leapt out of the bath, grabbed her gown and ran outside. She was banging on the door of upstairs for water was leaking through the bathroom ceiling and giving her a cold shower on top of her warm bath.

I heard voices and she came back in and waited. Then she went back out as the water kept pouring and when she came back she had the guy from upstairs with her - maybe he didn't believe her but he could see the water for himself. He claimed to have no idea where the water was coming from but it did stop after that.

But my mum was grumpy and not relaxy at all so bathtime was over and kitty supper time was here. Every cloud and all that!!

Mum is back at work today which is good as we have had an earlier breakfast. We will miss having her around on snack duty though.

 
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