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Toby's Diary

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Little blanky

May 11th 2015 10:32 pm
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My mum was having a bit of a tidy-up yesterday. She picked up Little Blanky and said, "I'm going to throw this out. You two never seem to like it."

"But that's my favourite!" I cried and ran over. Luckily part of it was still draping on the sofa. I buried my claws in its softness and purred.

Mum looked at me with a confused expression on her face. "We've had that ...mmm..probably six months at least and I've never seen you go near it. Why do you suddenly love it the day I decide it shall go?"

I kept up the paddy-pawing and purring.

"OK OK you can keep it," she said. Mission accomplished. I can ignore it for another six months now. I just like to keep my options open.

Mum says thank you for all her Catster Mum Love Hearts. "They appreciate me," she said. "They don't have to live with you," I replied. But she's alright really!


A well-trained mum

May 10th 2015 10:35 pm
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On Friday morning mum watched a lot of election results and analysis which was very dull. Once we found out that Larry the cat stays either way I lost interest in the whole process.

But then up she leapt and out came Big Bag. Was it all so bad she was leaving the country?

"No - I'm just off to Wales for the weekend," she said blithely. Abandoning us!

She came back last night very tired. Her friend has two cats (and a dog) and one of them, Jasper, likes to stroll about at night, meowing loudly. Her friends are apparently able to sleep through this but my mum has been patiently trained so that when a cat wakes in the night she gets up and sees what he wants. Jasper was delighted to find that she would go and talk to him.

She said he sounded so sad and would purr when she went and stroked him. You gave to admit we have done a good job on her.

Anyway we rarely meow at night so she is newly appreciative of us so maybe worth missing her for two days.


Jasper may be OK after all

May 7th 2015 11:26 pm
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I was in the garden when I saw my mum watching me so I went in.

"Were you enjoying your game of tag with Jasper?" she asked.

"Tag?! I was defending my territory," I said firmly. I was pretty sure my mum had seen me chasing that cat across the lawn.

"Given how flat your fur is it does seem like you were having fun rather than fighting. Also, I didn't hear any noise which I usually do when you're defending."


"That's OK - it's great that you're getting along. When you're chasing each other round my back garden we all know you're safe and that makes us happy."

"MY back garden - did you not hear the whole territory bit?"

But I will share it with next door's Jasper once in a while. It was a good game of tag!!


A discovery

May 6th 2015 10:20 pm
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Last night my mum was very boring, just sorting out paperwork. Josie did try and help but apparently throwing receipts on the floor isn't actually helping.

So we had to entertain ourselves. Luckily we're good at that and played tag but then...where's Josie? I could hear her but couldn't see her. It was a mystery.

Then a flap at the back of the sofa opened up and a tortie head peered out, followed by the rest of her. Awesome! I had no idea you could go in that way. In I went, natch!

There was a surprising amount of room in there and I ran up and down and round and poked things.

"Can you remember how to get out?" asked my mum, after a while.

I emerged. "Best sofa ever!"

Much as I hate to say it well done to Josie for spotting that. Mum was less pleased. She already checks that neither of us are in the way when she reclines it but if we could be inside that adds a whole new dimension of risk. Serves her right for doing paperwork when her cats needed entertaining is all I can say to that!


Our neglectful mum

May 5th 2015 10:33 pm
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Mum came in from work yesterday with a sad look on her face. "I feel terrible," she said.

"I imagine you do," I commented, "with that pointy nose, immobile ears, hair just on the top of your head - what's that all about?"

"I like being human actually," she said, "but I got to work today, turned my calendar over from April to May and saw it's Josie's birthday today. I forgot. Again."

"I bet Josie's Catster friends didn't" I said and truly they hadn't!

Lucky for my mum Josie has a forgiving nature. It was a wet and blustery night last night and we were glad to be indoors. Josie curled up on my mum's lap, all warmedly and loved, thinking how cosy she was and she purred.

"I will make it up to you," said my mum.

I think that means chicken for all. Hoorah!!

Thank you to Josie's Catster friends for saving the day. Thank you to Timo for her beautiful butterfly, to Meep and Bibi (a fellow cat who likes to perch I see) for her gorgeous tulips and to Frankie and the families of Big Harry and Mac for all her hugs.


Hello! Hellllooooo!

May 4th 2015 10:31 pm
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Sometimes our mum doesn't give us as much attention as she should. I know, I know! You would think with two such gorgeous felines in her life she would do nothing but watch us and wait to pander to our every whim but sadly no. Still more training needed.

Last night was a case in point. I was beside my mum and Josie was behind her, perched on the back of the sofa, requiring head scritches.

The more Josie thought about how unscritched her head was the grumpier she became. The grumpier she became the more her tail moved, from a warning twitch to full blown thrashing. The tail was bopping my mum on her head. She got the message. Scritches were given.

But mum needed to learn her lesson so Josie jumped down onto the TV remote and the picture on the set vanished and a message came up.

Mum was all action then but Josie cleverly hadn't gone for the on/off which would have been too easy for mum to fix. With one stomp of the paw she had unset the settings and mum had to work it all out and reset the settings.

Ha! Serve her right!


Enough toys?

May 3rd 2015 11:52 pm
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My mum is at home today. She says it's Mayday Holiday, actually Labour Day, celebrating the workers.

"By not working?" I asked. Seems odd.

Anyway she reckons she has been working around the flat. She had the hoover out which we do not like and she pulled out the sofa and was letting the hoover have whatever he could find under there.

"How does so much get in such an inaccessible place?" she pondered. Then "Uh oh!" The hoover found one of our toys and gobbled it up before my mum could stop him.

She kicked him on the base which stops him moaning and then started pulling him to pieces, peering and poking down tubes. But to no avail.

"I can't find it," she said, "It's gone for good."

"But I need that toy," I said, in horror. "Josie and I have hardly any toys."

Mum looked at me in that way she does. "You have hundreds of toys."

"Ninety-nines now that one's gone," I corrected her.

"Which is still enough," she said.

It's not! I'm going outside to see if I can find myself some new toys.


Just me and Josie then.

April 30th 2015 11:25 pm
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There's a new TV show that my mum likes to watch where they show various animals who live at a shelter and need new forever homes and they find homes for them.

"We should adopt one," I said to my mum.

"Oh Toby - I really can't afford another cat," said my mum.

"Another cat? No way! Have you seen the weird tortie I am already compelled to share my life with? No, I was thinking of those mice."

Three little mice who like to scurry and run. They would be awesome. We had a pet mouse before that I found in the garden but Josie killed him.

"No mice - or anything else that you might consider prey," said my mum.

"How about a horse? They look brilliant," I suggested.

"Where would we put it?"

"In the garden."

Mum looked out of the window. "I think horses are rather larger than you're imagining."

So it looks like it will continue to be just Josie and me then. Unless, of course, I can find us another mouse. That will be my mission!!



April 29th 2015 10:40 pm
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My mum came home yesterday and was very excitedly telling us about a thing called a catsacam.

"It goes around your neck, takes a photo every twenty seconds and uploads it to your instagram account," she explained.

"I don't wear stuff round my neck," I pointed out. I really won't. "IT would have to be Josie."

"OK. Josie then. I could see what she gets up to all day," said my mum happily.

"Sleeping mainly if you're interested," I said. "So mostly you would see fur." I considered this some more.

"And this morning, as it got light,you would get a perfect view of yourself, all happily asleep as Josie lined up for the perfect pounce. Then you would see you waking up with your hair all sticky outy and your eyes all big and your mouth saying ftgtrrffff when she did pounce."

"You're right. Maybe not such a great idea," said my mum.

"And then," I said, warming to my theme, "they would see me leaping to your defence and you trying to burrow under your duvet."

"We're not getting one," said my mum. "Anyway I think they are only available in Australia at the moment."

Which is a shame as I think the world needs more pictures of me!


Something odd is going on

April 28th 2015 10:32 pm
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People knock on the door and ask my mu what she thinks. She tells them. At length. And instead of pretending to die of boredom, like normal peoples do, they listen. They write things down on their clipboards and tell her how right she is and they will look into it.

"What is wrong with these people?" I ask. This is not normal behaviour.

"There is an election coming up and they want my vote. We are going to see who will end up in Downing Street," my mum explained.

"But he's been doing OK," I protested, "He's just getting his eye in."

Mum looked at me with bemusement. "I had no idea you were such a fan of David Cameron," she said.

"Who's David Cameron?" I asked. "If we're talking Downing Street then I assume we are talking of Larry, the Downing Street cat." Whose form on the mousing hasn't been all that had been hoped when he took on the role. But imagine if peoples were allowed to vote cats in or out!

"No," said my mum, "I think Larry stays whatever happens."

"In which case I have no opinion," I said, "Vote for the one you like."

"I'm really going to miss people pretending to be interested in my views when all this is over," said my mum.

Josie and I have never pretended to be interested in mum's opinion. On anything!

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