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Toby's Diary

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I am a sociable cat

March 24th 2016 11:15 pm
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My mum had visitors. They were sitting talking. I have lots of interesting opinions so I was joining in.

"Sorry about Toby," said my mum, "he's not usually so chatty with strangers."

I think they found my input most stimulating. Then I got bored and had a wash.

"Why always the butt when everyone's watching?" asked my mum. So they can admire my elegantly stretched out leg of course.

I could tell I was losing their attention so I trotted out, then ran back into the middle of the room, stopped dramatically and called out, "I'm here."

"What has got into you today?" asked my mum. They were all looking at me which was exactly my plan. I repeated that a few times.

I am a sociable boy. When I want to be.


Yey! Back in.

March 24th 2016 9:33 am
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We couldn't login to Catster but can now. Hoorah!

We've all been fine except Josie licked my head. I know! Ugh! I stretched out a paw to whacky-paw her but caught mum's eye. So Josie got away with it. This time.


Cheering my mum up

March 22nd 2016 12:29 am
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She had a phone call and she said, "OK, thank you for letting me know." And she sighed afterwards.

I told her she should have taken kitty treats to the interview but she didn't listen and they gave the job to someone else.

But now was not the time for recriminations. She needed cheering up.

So I lay beside her and rolled over. Who could be sad when they get to rub my fuzzy tummy? We haven't done that in a while and I had forgotten how good it felt. I purred and purred and drifted off into a very contented sleep.

when I woke up I was a bit embarrassed and hoped Josie hadn't seen me being soppy. I jumped up and went to sleep on my bed. I only did it to make my mum feel better. Honest!


My greedy mum

March 17th 2016 11:52 pm
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She had a bag of crunchy munchies yesterday and she was eating while she cooked. Chop, chop, chop....hand in bag, munch, munch.....stir, stir, stir....hand in bag, munch munch.

Then suddenly "UGHLY!!" and out came the munchies and in the bin they went.

Hand in bag whilst not paying attention and she had accidentally put her hand in the wrong bag. Not her basil and olive crackers but our salmon and tuna biscuits.

Actually they are rather delicious. I can't think why she didn't like them.

But hopefully a valuable lesson learned.



March 16th 2016 11:23 pm
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I do like the sun. I do like seeing lots of birdies (I only caught one last year; determined to do better this year!).

I do not like my mum mowing the lawn. Anything else in the garden is fine - playing with us ideally but even cutting things back is OK but what's with the lawn mower?!

She did that yesterday. I hid. Better safe than sorry.


We are my mum's cats

March 15th 2016 11:45 pm
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Yesterday was not sunny. I asked my mum to make it so but she just couldn't be bothered, just kept saying that the weather is out of her control.

When there was a loud knock on the door and a policeman was standing there I assumed he had come to arrest her for kitty neglect but this was not so. He had come to give her some magic water.

She was to dab it on everything that she values. If some thief stole it the magic water would prove it was hers.

She dabbed some on her laptop and tablet and then looked all around. "Hm, what else do I have that is valuable?"

I looked at her. "Does it work on cats?"

"(A) You would just lick it off and (B) You are both already chipped so we know you're mine," she said.

So it's official then - Josie and I are more precious than mum's laptop and her tablet and any of her gadgets as we were chipped and marked as hers long before any of them were.

(Although when I say "hers" I mean her owners rather than anything else. I'm in charge and then Josie in this house.)


My toasty space

March 14th 2016 11:31 pm
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Not Josie's!

I am loving Spring. In the day it's sunny and I lie on the back of the armchair by the window, letting the sunbeams do their thing, warmed and delightfully snug. Then when the sun goes to bed and it starts getting cold I move across to be toasty by the radiator. It's perfect.

Except for just one thing.

Yesterday there I was, asleep in the sun, dreaming about dragons and epic battles. I woke up to turn over and became aware of something. While I had been soundly asleep that sneaky Josie had crept up and settled herself next to me - in MY sunbeam.

She was stealing my warm. I looked at her. She looked back at me anxiously, for she knew she had done wrong. I intensified my glare and she got the message and skedaddled off.

"You're so mean," said my mum, "There's room for both of you there."

To the victor, the spoils. I made myself all comfy again. Mum picked Josie up and put her on the sofa where the sun was also shining. But it had already passed over me at that point so I had the best bits and I don't mind Josie having leftover sun.

"I will fix this," said my mum. Tap, tappety, tap on her keyboard. I don't know what she did but Josie took a look and it made her purr. We'll see.


Mum's interview

March 13th 2016 11:37 pm
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I gave her lots of advice as she was getting ready on Friday.

"Try scritching their heads. We always like that. Oh and take some treats. And if all else fails show them your tummy. Everyone likes a tummy. And another thing...."

"Shhh Toby," she said, rather ungratefully. "I'm trying to concentrate."

One last check of everything before she left. Then disaster. A button flew off her trousers.

"It's alright. I caught it." This was really playing to my strengths. Finding small things that are rolling.

Mum looked horrified. "I don't have time to sew it back on and I don't have another outfit ready. I'll just have to hope the other button holds."

She came back with a new suit in a bag so we can take it the other button did not hold.

"Stupid suit," she said. I looked at her squidgly soft tummy that Josie so loves to pad. "It may not entirely be the suit's fault," I pointed out. There has been some sitting about eating chocklit since mum stopped work.

So my mum has a new suit, a resolution not to be doing so much snacking - and another interview this morning. I'll be standing by for stray buttons.


I was very brave

March 10th 2016 10:05 pm
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As you would expect.

My mum came home yesterday evening and got out the ironing board. Josie likes ironing - smooth and gently warmed clothes in a big pile is her idea of heaven. But I don't.

I hate the ker-klunch when my mum opens it up and I hate the way the iron hisses and I hate the ker-klunch when she folds it up again. I normally stay well away.

But yesterday I came in the room. I know! Fearless and 96% tiger.

The reason mum was ironing was she has an interview this morning. Every day she sends applications and CVs and off it all goes and nothing happens and then suddenly, weeks later, they phone her and want to see her right away.

She says she really wants the one today so we are purring at max mode.


Staying dry

March 9th 2016 10:55 pm
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Yesterday it rained and it rained and it rained. And my crazy mum went out in it.

When she came home she was drenched and had to change. She came in, rubbing her hair with a towel, and looked at me and Josie.

"Have you two become one with the sofa?" she asked, "I swear neither of you have moved a muscle since this morning."

I twitched an ear to show that I was still capable of independent movement, then buried my face deeper in my paws. Sofa, how we love you!

Peoples are always going on about being the most intelligent species but Josie and I had an awesome day, sleeping and dreaming and, most importantly, staying dry. My mum got wet.

She had just washed a load of jeans so didn't have any dry ones to wear so was in scaggy sweats and a big cardigan with a towel around her neck when the phone rang.

"Yes, that's right," she was saying, suddenly in professional mode. "I applied for the role because..." she was frantically scrabbling through her notes to remember the details of this one. Hopefully she answered all their questions Ok and they'll want to meet her. We'll see.

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