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Toby's Diary

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I've noticed a trend

April 25th 2016 11:18 pm
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Mum and Josie were bickering yesterday. Josie said that my mum was wearing Josie's bed whilst mum said it is in fact a fleece for people to wear and not a cat cosy bed. Josie was having none of it.

"Remember when you put that blanket on the back of the sofa?" I asked.

"Ah yes," said my mum, "I was going to put it over my legs on cold winter evenings."

"And why don't you ever do that?" I asked.

"Because Josie is asleep on it mostly," she replied.

"Correct. And why did you have to get a second lap tray?"

"Because Josie likes to sleep on the base of it," mum said.

I knew all this. I had a point to make.

"And why don't you get to wear your new fleece very often?"

A pause. A mumble.

"Speak up."

"Josie sleeps on it."

"That's right. Are you noticing a trend? Everything that you have to make your life cosier gets taken by the tortie."

Never any harm in reminding my mum of the many reasons that I am the superior cat.


A Celebration

April 24th 2016 9:57 pm
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We got beef. That's our favourite. My mum has been offered a job.

"I expect it was the one where I helped you with the presentation," I said and she agreed it was. I don't see why Josie got beef as I didn't see her leaping up to join in when my mum practised.

But we're all happy as my mum will be earning again. We don't know when she will start. She's going back to find that out today.


The stick with feathers on the end

April 21st 2016 10:43 pm
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I heard my mum in the bedroom. She was laughing, "Go on then" and some noises so I had to vestigate.

Josie was leaping and bounding and chasing the stick with feathers on.

"Do you want to join in?" asked my mum, waving the feathers towards me.

I looked at them both coldly. "Not really."

I do not get that game. Josie loves it but it's just our mum wiggling a stick around. It offers nothing like the thrill of a good red dot chase or Da Bird's aeronautics.

I do not understand Josie at all.


Mum's disappointment

April 20th 2016 10:30 pm
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My mum said she would prefer it if I didn't bounce on her at night when she is sleeping.

I would prefer it if a butler followed me around with a selection of kitty treats on a silver salver.

Looks like we are both doomed to disappointment.

I've taken to the bouncing thing as when I pat her head she sometimes pretends to still be asleep. No-one sleeps through a Toby bounce!

She didn't get the job she went for on Monday so I let her rub my tummy some more. I am all heart!

She doesn't know about Tuesday's, she has another one today and two on Monday so hopefully at least one will offer her a job.


I am not a soppy cat

April 19th 2016 9:49 pm
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My mum was tired yesterday when she got back from her interview. She gave a big sigh and slumped back on the sofa.

I knew exactly what she needed. One fluffy tummy coming up! I lay next to her and rolled so she could rub my tummy. She put one arm round me and rubbed my tummy with her other hand and I fell asleep with my head on her arm, purring all the way.

Then I woke up with a start, realised how I must look and quickly rearranged myself to a position more fitting for the man of the house. I hope Josie didn't see me all snuggled and soppy. I would never live it down.

(But it did cheer my mum up!)


Mum's presentation

April 18th 2016 10:01 pm
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Yesterday she had an interview and when she came back she said, "Now I must practice my presentation," and she did.

It's very dull - no cats in it at all, no discussion of the finer points of bird hunting, no review of the best sleeping places, nothing we actually like to talk about.

I've done my best with it anyway. Every time she stands up to practice I join in. She says that isn't helpful but she's just being polite and doesn't to put me to any bother. I think she'll be OK.


A gift for us

April 17th 2016 10:25 pm
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We have a voucher for Cat Soup. This had us alarmed at first - my mum sometimes makes soup and when she makes say, vegetable soup - you don't want to know what happens to those poor vegetables.

But mum says this Cat Soup is for us to eat, not to be in.

"As a Starter?" I asked.

"I'm not sure," said my mum, peering at the voucher. "I'll just have to get some and we'll see."

There was a long pause.

"I see you still standing there," I pointed out, "Yet the shops are open."

"One - I am busy. I have a presentation to work on for Tuesday's interview and Two - I have no idea where they stock it."

So whilst we have a perfectly good voucher and empty tummies we have no Cat Soup.

My mum has three interviews this week so hopefully will have a job again soon. We will miss her when she is working again but we can't live on free voucher food!


I am never grumpy

April 14th 2016 11:08 pm
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Some days everyone is very annoying. That's their fault, not mine. That happened yesterday.

I came in as it was raining and found Josie on mum's lap, looking all smug, so I gave her the evil eye. Or at least I tried to. Mum put her hand in the way.

"Leave her be," she said, "I like her being there."

I lifted my head, mum raised her hand, I lowered my head, mum lowered her hand. It took quite a few attempts before I could catch Josie's eye and off she went.

See how annoying they are!


I was helping

April 12th 2016 10:22 pm
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Last week not much happened with my mum's job hunting. She said maybe people were on Easter holiday - and it looks like she was right. The phone rang a lot yesterday.

Luckily I was on hand to provide support. Whenever she was talking on the phone I meowed as loudly as I could, making sure they knew about my mum's better qualities.

She would bend down and pet me to keep me quiet. "Not everyone likes cats," she said. I'm pretty sure if they don't like cats my mum won't like them so I was really helping out.

Anyway she now has three interviews in the diary so hopefully it won't be long now.


Keeping track...

April 10th 2016 10:19 pm
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Yesterday my mum was out a lot, what with church and off dancing and then she went for a meal and we hardly saw her. That meant I missed out on a load of petting.

I don't forget a thing like that. At the end of the day I estimated I was a good thirty minutes short. Only one thing to do.

"Leave me be, I'm trying to sleep," she muttered.

"And I am trying to get my petting quotient," I replied. I got some half-hearted stroking. Good but I needed better. She tried to bury her face under the duvet but I could reach and engage paw-and-claw.

"Toby!" I have heard her sound happier but I was a cat on a mission. Her fault for not being there for me when I needed her earlier.

I didn't get my full thirty minutes but I wasn't going to let her sleep until I was happier. She should know by now, cats do not live by kitty biscuits alone.

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