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Toby's Diary

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Being awesome via technology

January 6th 2016 10:23 pm
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Most evenings my mum has her laptop out (when Josie doesn't get to the lap first!) and she goes tap-tappety-tap. And sometimes she talks to it. Mostly "Ah! That is so cute" as she watches videos.

Yesterday she was talking a whole lot more so I went to investigate. She raised a hand in a futile gesture to ward me off but I was a cat on a mission.

"Incoming cat," she said, as I walked across the keyboard. And amazingly there was a mini-me in a little screen at the bottom. Mostly the screen was showing mum's friend Vicky. Vicky lives in a place which is called Dubai which is a very long way away but thanks to technology they could talk face to face.

Mum twisted the laptop round so I could see properly and Vicky twisted hers round so I could see her cat. Wow! It was hard to believe he was so far away. There we were, looking at one another.

He was, not surprisingly, intimidated by my brilliance and trotted off. We got Vicky's face back. Moments later there was a loud crash - we heard it all the way from Dubai.

"Don't worry, just the cat knocking things over," Vicky told us.

He must have been frustrated that he wasn't as amazing as me and taking it out on the furniture. I'm pretty sure that's what happened. (Mum's not so sure but what does she know?!)


Proud of Josie

January 5th 2016 10:20 pm
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And I don't often say that.

My mum was reading a magazine yesterday evening, rested on the arm of the sofa.

So Josie sat on it.

Mum looked at her. "You have your snuggle rug; you have your beany tray; you have the pouffe by the radiator; you have not one but two cat beds that you like; you have the other arm and the back of this sofa - and of all those entire options this is your choice? The only one place in the entire flat I don't want you to be."

Josie purred gently. Mum had grasped the situation perfectly.

Mum sighed and started stroking Josie. Josie purred some more.

When Josie left she was careful to kick the magazine onto the floor just to show it who was boss. Sometimes Josie gets it spot on right.


I bit my mum

January 4th 2016 10:43 pm
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And I'm not sorry. It was her fault.

I had a busy day yesterday, sleeping, snoozing and catching up on those all important naps. Mum came home, gave us our supper and then made her own while I went on patrol.

I came back in and was ready to love her so we sat down. She scritched my head and stroked my back and then I lay down so she could rub my tummy but then I heard the dreaded sound.

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. The kitchen timer. This cannot be ignored. Apparently. Things will burn or boil dry or some such nonsense and nothing should be more important than my tummy rubs so I didn't even give her time to go. I grabbed her hand and bit her.

It did not go down well. Luckily I have a forgiving nature and I have let her pet me since.


A new neighbour

January 3rd 2016 10:24 pm
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On Saturday morning I was helping my mum with her resolutions - I have LOTS of suggestions of how she can improve - when there was a knock on the door.

Paul and Charyl - they have a new kitten. Would my mum like to go and meet him?

Naturally she said, "No thank you, I have two cats of my own to admire."

Did she heck?! That's what she should have said. Actually I have rarely seen her move so fast and off she went.

We got a full report. His name is Maurice and he's very fluffy with big paws so the reckoning is he'll be a large cat. He's very dark, not quite black but almost and he's getting on very well with the other cats there. He came from Wood Green Animal Shelter and they loved him the minute they saw his picture.

And mum kept going on - he's so cute; he's so gorgeous; he's so.... We get the message! We're all these things and so much more! He's not allowed outdoors yet. I hope he doesn't start thinking he can come in our flat when summertime comes like Jasper does.


Happy New Year Everyone!

January 1st 2016 12:02 am
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Apart from all the fireworks last night I like New Year. Mum was home early from work yesterday and she's not going to work today. Hoorah!

Just the one awkward moment. "Now we have to think of our New Year Resolutions. How are you going to be better cats in 2016?" mum asked.

I gave her a moment to consider what she had just said. I let her drink in my awesomeness.

"You cannot improve on perfection," I told her icily.

Mum reckons she is going to be more active, get more done. We rather like her when she sits on the sofa and chills, Josie on her lap, me by her side. Luckily her resolutions never last long enough to inconvenience us!


What a cat wants..

December 30th 2015 10:11 pm
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Last night my mum was writing thank you letters - she is a stickler for that and luckily she writes ours too. Anyway, there she was, scribbling away, when Josie wanted her lap.

The lap which had a book to lean on, a notelet, a pen, everything needed for correspondence on it.

Josie wasn't going to let a little thing like that deter her. She arranged herself on as much lap as she could which made my mum laugh. Encouraged by this Josie nudged the things that were in her way, just a gentle push to give mum the idea.

Eventually mum gave up, put her letter writing to one side, and let Josie curl up properly comfy. What a cat wants a cat gets!

"You certainly don't look stressed," said my mum, scritching Josie's ear while Josie purred.

Lucky for Josie I don't like laps but I was by mum's side snoozing and we were very happy and cosy. Life is good sometimes!


If I was King

December 29th 2015 10:32 pm
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And surely it's only a matter of time before my brilliance is recognised and I am given that honour.

Then I will make it the law that manufacturers of cat related stuff can't mess with the formulas.

I am, naturally, very particular on the subject of kitty litter. I like a small stone so it's comfy but not so small it gets in my pads. There are only three places that sell kitty litter that gets my approval. One is expensive which I didn't mind until my mum said that would be fewer cat treats. One shop closed. So that leaves one.

Happily that one is near my mum's office but she went to stock up last night and ...oh no..the packaging has changed. If the contents have, we are in trouble.

I don't like change. I just want everything to stay the same. I wish I was King!!


Mum's new toy

December 28th 2015 10:26 pm
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I thought it was for us and on Sunday evening was helping my mum put it together. It has a ball and a fluffy dangley and it definitely looks like a cat toy. But mum couldn't work out where all the pieces went so she put it back in the box and said she would get help.

Yesterday was a holiday day so off she went, box in hand, and her nephews fixed it and she came back all proud and placed it on the floor.

I went and gave it a sniff. "It's a toy," she said proudly, and batted a ball around a track. I didn't like the noise it made and made good my escape.

So in the evening every time she saw us near it she would leap down and bat the balls around or tap the dangley. Clearly it is a toy for her and not for us. She definitely had the most fun with it.


How many days until the next one?

December 27th 2015 10:47 pm
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I LOVE Christmas! We got toys - one in a box that my mum can't assemble although I did try and help. Screws are very badly designed and don't work so well with paws. But we got mice that need no assembly. And Josie got a new bed - oh - mum reckons she got a new lap tray so she and Josie can have one each, not so Josie can choose.

And we got lots and lots of treats but apparently we can't have them all in one day. My mum says we would be sick but that's a risk I would be willing to take.

Rather alarmingly mum got a book called, "Crafting with cat hair".

"Is that why Josie is going bald?" I asked. Mum said no and she would use mine on account of me liking being brushed. Well, yes I do, but she better not bald me in pursuit of her hobby!


I got away with it

December 24th 2015 10:59 pm
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Josie was being really annoying last night - looking all smug and happy, snoozing on my bed - so I had to make her move. Then she was enjoying her supper more than I was enjoying mine so I had to stop her eating. She really can be a pain sometimes!

Mum said I was mean and that we should share but I don't want to share.

I reckoned Sandy Claws and the elves would already have packed their sleigh so it was safe to be naughty.

How right I was!! I have treats and delicious food and cat nip mice and all sorts - and no intention of sharing.

Happy Christmas everyone!!

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