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Toby's Diary

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My leg

February 2nd 2016 10:34 pm
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I was sitting on the arm of the sofa, basking in my mum's adoration and caresses when she suddenly said, "Show me that leg."

I was bemused. "Which leg?"

She pulled back a bit and studied my left hind leg. She touched it. I like being stroked, scritched and generally petted. I do not like to be touched. I pulled my leg away.

"I think you're developing a patch of brown fur. It's not as black as the rest."

My cat mother was a black cat but I never met my father. Judging from my siblings he was tabby. Am I developing a tabby patch in his honour? I have stripes in my black so I might be. I wasn't sure whether that was such a good look but then when you're as awesome as I am you can rock any look.

My mum does have a new suit for her interview but we aren't being allowed near it. I think this would be a good test of a new employer - if they don't like cat hair then my mum probably wouldn't like working for them. Mum is unwilling to test that theory.


Josie likes popcorn

February 1st 2016 10:48 pm
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My mum had forgotten that. She made a bowl for watching TV with and was happily munching away when Josie pushed her head in the bowl and started licking.

"Josie!", said my mum when she realised. "Ugh! I don't want that bit now," and she gave it to Josie who crunched it down and went back for more. So mum gave Josie a few more pieces which made her laugh until she realised that popcorn probably isn't ideal for cats and stopped. Much to Josie's chagrin.

The job hunting went on yesterday. Mum looks at the name of the company and has a look at what they do etc on their website "Composite flooring - yes, reckon I could work there. Although I thought people glazed over enough when I tell them I work in insurance. Composite flooring would really be a conversation stopper."

She's looking at so many different companies on her puter she's getting a really odd mixture of pop-up ads.

The good news is that someone wants to meet her so today she's off to buy a new suit. If she really wanted to impress them she should wear her furry fleece with the cat head hoodie but I suppose she wants to give the other candidates a chance.


More Josie madness

January 31st 2016 10:45 pm
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It was very windy outside on Friday. There is something about a windy day that just makes Josie go completely loopy. She was bounding all around the flat in heedless exhilaration.

My mum was completing job applications. "2000 characters on why I fit the role. OK." Tappety-tap. "10,000 characters on why I want to work for them. 10,000?" She looked again. "Yes, 10,000. You seem nice and are looking for someone like me. That's not going to cut it." She sighed. Then tappety-tap.

She would break off every time hurricane Josie approached. "Not near my keyboard!" Once bitten and all that.

Eventually she had a better idea. She fetched our toy box and sat that on the table next to her. Every time Josie approached a toy mouse or ball or anything would fly past her, with Josie quickly in hot pursuit of it.

That seemed to work for both of them.

Right at the end of the day an agency contacted mum about a job she had applied for. Mum got quite excited "Yes, I can do that. Yes, I can do those things as well. Sounds excellent." So her CV has gone in and we are purring madly for her as it sounds like a great job.


Being helpful cats

January 27th 2016 10:18 pm
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Josie has been helping my mum with her job applications. I know this because I heard my mum exclaim, "Oh no, no, no, no, no! What have you done?"

Josie had walked across the keyboard while my mum was applying for a job - half-way through her cover letter Josie had added a comment and sent it. She was pretty sure the letter needed fewer words and more feline endorsement. Mum did not agree. Luckily it was on a jobs website and there was a chance for mum to retrieve it and Josie's been told not to help again.

I've been giving mum lots of snuggles so she feels loved. I've been told not to do that when my mum is sleeping but it's not like she has anything to get up for in the morning. She reckons she has as she must find work but snuggles are an essential part of life so I intend to keep going.


My plan

January 26th 2016 10:28 pm
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So my mum went to her work yesterday morning and they told her what's going to happen and how much money she will get.

I asked her how much and she told me.

"And yet I see you standing there," I said.

She looked at me blankly.

"The pet shop is open and Josie and I need toys and treats." It sounded like a lot of toys and treats.

"Firstly we don't have it yet and secondly we have to live in that until I can find another job," she explained.

So today her job hunt starts in earnest as once she has another job we are talking major toys and treats excursion!!


Bad news for mum; good news for us

January 25th 2016 10:44 pm
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Mum was home early from work yesterday, with a sad face and a letter in her hand.

"That's it," she said, "My job is at risk."

Josie climbed onto a small table and chased her own tail, trying to catch that elusive plume without falling off the table. Not easy and it made my mum laugh.

"I swear you get crazier," she said. She is not wrong about that tortie.

Anyway she goes back to work today to sort out the details and then she gets to stay home with us a lot more. So we'll like that and hopefully she'll find a new job before the money for kitty food runs out.


Bad news from mum's work

January 24th 2016 10:19 pm
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on Friday mum told us that Nahid at her office has been made redundant. I didn't know what that meant but mum explained that they don't need her any more so she has lost her job.

"We need her," said Josie. (It was Nahid who took Josie in when she was homeless.) "She can come here and pet us all day while you're at work."

Mum said actually that Nahid is near retirement so thinks she will volunteer at the animal shelter and pet cats and dogs that have no-one.

"And there will be more redundancies so I don't know if I'll have a job," said my mum.

"So you can stay home and pet us all day," I said. This seemed like good news so I didn't know why she looked so sad.

"That won't pay the mortgage," she said, "I'll have to find another job and I don't think I'll be lucky enough to get another job where everybody is an animal lover."

So my mum is off to work today and we have to wait and see what happens.


A new toy

January 21st 2016 10:32 pm
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Mum bought it in the sales for us and was very excited. Only it took forever for us to find out what it was. First she didn't have the right sort of batteries and once she had bought those she didn't have the right sort of screwdriver to get the battery compartment open.

But yesterday it all came together, And what can I say?

It's a sort of yellow disc and under it a thing keeps darting about, accompanied by the sound of a motor.

Josie goes absolutely loopy for it. She chases the thing and grabs it but the minutes she lets go it darts away again and she gets all hyper and jumps around. When mum turns it off she scrambles up to mum and meows until my mum turns it on again. I never saw that cat so crazy (and that's saying something.)

Being a more intelligent cat I am treating it with a healthy caution. I won't go near it when it's on but have patted it after. So far so good!


Josie's Feliway works

January 20th 2016 10:28 pm
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So there I was, quietly minding my own business, when I got a massive whack from Josie and a "tag- you're it!"

I engaged mt Ninja-mode reflexes and had her grabbed before she could make good her escape. A lively tussle followed but she managed to wriggle free and off she went, me in hot pursuit.

"Josie definitely started that one," commented my mum. "She is not stressed."

Then, after a little thought, "Actually I don't think she is licking so much."

Later mum had a good look at Josie's hind quarters and yes, the official verdict is that Josie is much furrier. So the Feliway is doing the trick. Mum didn't think it was but then she was expecting the fur to grow back overnight and cats don't work like that.

So that's good. As long as Josie doesn't get too confident. I'm top cat around here and I won't let her forget it.


Now we're being starved

January 19th 2016 10:38 pm
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Josie has been sick again so we are on tiny portions. Mum reckons we get the same amount just in installments but my tummy isn't sure.

Mum reckons Josie wouldn't eat quite so fast if I didn't keep trying to steal her food before she finishes. It's not stealing - it's sharing!

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