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Toby's Diary

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I am not a soppy cat

April 19th 2016 9:49 pm
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My mum was tired yesterday when she got back from her interview. She gave a big sigh and slumped back on the sofa.

I knew exactly what she needed. One fluffy tummy coming up! I lay next to her and rolled so she could rub my tummy. She put one arm round me and rubbed my tummy with her other hand and I fell asleep with my head on her arm, purring all the way.

Then I woke up with a start, realised how I must look and quickly rearranged myself to a position more fitting for the man of the house. I hope Josie didn't see me all snuggled and soppy. I would never live it down.

(But it did cheer my mum up!)

 

Mum's presentation

April 18th 2016 10:01 pm
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Yesterday she had an interview and when she came back she said, "Now I must practice my presentation," and she did.

It's very dull - no cats in it at all, no discussion of the finer points of bird hunting, no review of the best sleeping places, nothing we actually like to talk about.

I've done my best with it anyway. Every time she stands up to practice I join in. She says that isn't helpful but she's just being polite and doesn't to put me to any bother. I think she'll be OK.

 

A gift for us

April 17th 2016 10:25 pm
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We have a voucher for Cat Soup. This had us alarmed at first - my mum sometimes makes soup and when she makes say, vegetable soup - you don't want to know what happens to those poor vegetables.

But mum says this Cat Soup is for us to eat, not to be in.

"As a Starter?" I asked.

"I'm not sure," said my mum, peering at the voucher. "I'll just have to get some and we'll see."

There was a long pause.

"I see you still standing there," I pointed out, "Yet the shops are open."

"One - I am busy. I have a presentation to work on for Tuesday's interview and Two - I have no idea where they stock it."

So whilst we have a perfectly good voucher and empty tummies we have no Cat Soup.

My mum has three interviews this week so hopefully will have a job again soon. We will miss her when she is working again but we can't live on free voucher food!

 

I am never grumpy

April 14th 2016 11:08 pm
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Some days everyone is very annoying. That's their fault, not mine. That happened yesterday.

I came in as it was raining and found Josie on mum's lap, looking all smug, so I gave her the evil eye. Or at least I tried to. Mum put her hand in the way.

"Leave her be," she said, "I like her being there."

I lifted my head, mum raised her hand, I lowered my head, mum lowered her hand. It took quite a few attempts before I could catch Josie's eye and off she went.

See how annoying they are!

 

I was helping

April 12th 2016 10:22 pm
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Last week not much happened with my mum's job hunting. She said maybe people were on Easter holiday - and it looks like she was right. The phone rang a lot yesterday.

Luckily I was on hand to provide support. Whenever she was talking on the phone I meowed as loudly as I could, making sure they knew about my mum's better qualities.

She would bend down and pet me to keep me quiet. "Not everyone likes cats," she said. I'm pretty sure if they don't like cats my mum won't like them so I was really helping out.

Anyway she now has three interviews in the diary so hopefully it won't be long now.

 

Keeping track...

April 10th 2016 10:19 pm
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Yesterday my mum was out a lot, what with church and off dancing and then she went for a meal and we hardly saw her. That meant I missed out on a load of petting.

I don't forget a thing like that. At the end of the day I estimated I was a good thirty minutes short. Only one thing to do.

"Leave me be, I'm trying to sleep," she muttered.

"And I am trying to get my petting quotient," I replied. I got some half-hearted stroking. Good but I needed better. She tried to bury her face under the duvet but I could reach and engage paw-and-claw.

"Toby!" I have heard her sound happier but I was a cat on a mission. Her fault for not being there for me when I needed her earlier.

I didn't get my full thirty minutes but I wasn't going to let her sleep until I was happier. She should know by now, cats do not live by kitty biscuits alone.

 

Josie is still crazy

April 7th 2016 11:01 pm
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After a good night's sleep Josie is ready for anything and yesterday she was in full crazy cat mode, leaping and bouncing and running and making my mum laugh.

Then she was worn out so needed a good rest to recover, a good rest on her snuggle rug. But what had happened? That rug, normally spread out flat to accommodate all Josie's fluff was squished into a heap. Rather disgruntled Josie had to curl herself into a tiny round to fit on. She glared at the housekeeper.

Mum looked back at her. "And you know how it got like that?"

Josie looked blank.

"You dive-bombed it, only a few minutes ago. That's why it's all a mess," mum told her.

Josie remained pretty sure that it was mum's faults but cats, it has been well-documented, can sleep anywhere, so she buried her head in her paws and set off for dreamland.

 

Sometimes I like Josie

April 6th 2016 11:18 pm
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Yesterday evening Josie was sitting on my mum's lap, all contentedly warm and asleep. I was curled up next to them and everyone was relaxed and happy.

Until Josie suddenly got up and stalked to the other end of the sofa and sat bolt upright, staring at my mum like she had never seen her before. She kept this up for about half an hour. It was hilarious.

At first my mum was all, "What did I do?" and then she got more and more uncomfortable. She was looking at the TV and then glancing back to see Josie's unwavering stare. "Stop doing that!"

Extreme unease for my mum; harmless entertainment for us cats; a simple idea brilliantly executed. That will teach my mum to fob us off with own label biscuits. For yes, we are still expected to work our way through these.

 

A clear out

April 4th 2016 10:36 pm
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Yesterday there were lots of cats in my garden which is just wrong. One of them came right up to the window and was singing to Josie who was meowing right back at him.

This is hardly ladylike behaviour.

I helped my mum clear out her wardrobe. "I don't know what the dress code will be once I get a job," she said, "But some of these work clothes are really old and tatty. They have to go."

"You know what else is really old and tatty?" I asked, "That tortie cat."

Josie had seemed so much better mum let the Feliway run out so Josie has started balding herself again and she was old when I was a kitten. "Old and tatty. She has to go."

Mum gave me that look. She loves Josie so we have fresh Feliway and Josie did not go out with the old suits and I have to keep sharing.

 

Defending my territory

April 3rd 2016 10:43 pm
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I had a fight yesterday. That Maurice from next door has been coming in my garden and he's been killing frogs. Those frogs are put there for everyone to enjoy so he shouldn't be taking them.

Strong words were spoken, fur raised, teeth and claws engaged - I had him on the run when my mum came out. Maurice took advantage of the distraction and slipped away into his own garden.

"I was winning," I pointed out.

"No-one wins when cats get bitten and he's only a youngster," said my mum.

I started to explain but it was hard through my mouthfuls of his fur. Mum said she could see where he had dislodged my fur too and she hoped she had intervened before either of us had done the other an injury. I don't think she understands the purpose of a fight.

I don't often get into fights but sometimes a cat's got to do what a cat's got to do!

 
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