Toby's Diary

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Hello! Hellllooooo!

May 4th 2015 10:31 pm
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Sometimes our mum doesn't give us as much attention as she should. I know, I know! You would think with two such gorgeous felines in her life she would do nothing but watch us and wait to pander to our every whim but sadly no. Still more training needed.

Last night was a case in point. I was beside my mum and Josie was behind her, perched on the back of the sofa, requiring head scritches.

The more Josie thought about how unscritched her head was the grumpier she became. The grumpier she became the more her tail moved, from a warning twitch to full blown thrashing. The tail was bopping my mum on her head. She got the message. Scritches were given.

But mum needed to learn her lesson so Josie jumped down onto the TV remote and the picture on the set vanished and a message came up.

Mum was all action then but Josie cleverly hadn't gone for the on/off which would have been too easy for mum to fix. With one stomp of the paw she had unset the settings and mum had to work it all out and reset the settings.

Ha! Serve her right!


Enough toys?

May 3rd 2015 11:52 pm
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My mum is at home today. She says it's Mayday Holiday, actually Labour Day, celebrating the workers.

"By not working?" I asked. Seems odd.

Anyway she reckons she has been working around the flat. She had the hoover out which we do not like and she pulled out the sofa and was letting the hoover have whatever he could find under there.

"How does so much get in such an inaccessible place?" she pondered. Then "Uh oh!" The hoover found one of our toys and gobbled it up before my mum could stop him.

She kicked him on the base which stops him moaning and then started pulling him to pieces, peering and poking down tubes. But to no avail.

"I can't find it," she said, "It's gone for good."

"But I need that toy," I said, in horror. "Josie and I have hardly any toys."

Mum looked at me in that way she does. "You have hundreds of toys."

"Ninety-nines now that one's gone," I corrected her.

"Which is still enough," she said.

It's not! I'm going outside to see if I can find myself some new toys.


Just me and Josie then.

April 30th 2015 11:25 pm
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There's a new TV show that my mum likes to watch where they show various animals who live at a shelter and need new forever homes and they find homes for them.

"We should adopt one," I said to my mum.

"Oh Toby - I really can't afford another cat," said my mum.

"Another cat? No way! Have you seen the weird tortie I am already compelled to share my life with? No, I was thinking of those mice."

Three little mice who like to scurry and run. They would be awesome. We had a pet mouse before that I found in the garden but Josie killed him.

"No mice - or anything else that you might consider prey," said my mum.

"How about a horse? They look brilliant," I suggested.

"Where would we put it?"

"In the garden."

Mum looked out of the window. "I think horses are rather larger than you're imagining."

So it looks like it will continue to be just Josie and me then. Unless, of course, I can find us another mouse. That will be my mission!!



April 29th 2015 10:40 pm
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My mum came home yesterday and was very excitedly telling us about a thing called a catsacam.

"It goes around your neck, takes a photo every twenty seconds and uploads it to your instagram account," she explained.

"I don't wear stuff round my neck," I pointed out. I really won't. "IT would have to be Josie."

"OK. Josie then. I could see what she gets up to all day," said my mum happily.

"Sleeping mainly if you're interested," I said. "So mostly you would see fur." I considered this some more.

"And this morning, as it got light,you would get a perfect view of yourself, all happily asleep as Josie lined up for the perfect pounce. Then you would see you waking up with your hair all sticky outy and your eyes all big and your mouth saying ftgtrrffff when she did pounce."

"You're right. Maybe not such a great idea," said my mum.

"And then," I said, warming to my theme, "they would see me leaping to your defence and you trying to burrow under your duvet."

"We're not getting one," said my mum. "Anyway I think they are only available in Australia at the moment."

Which is a shame as I think the world needs more pictures of me!


Something odd is going on

April 28th 2015 10:32 pm
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People knock on the door and ask my mu what she thinks. She tells them. At length. And instead of pretending to die of boredom, like normal peoples do, they listen. They write things down on their clipboards and tell her how right she is and they will look into it.

"What is wrong with these people?" I ask. This is not normal behaviour.

"There is an election coming up and they want my vote. We are going to see who will end up in Downing Street," my mum explained.

"But he's been doing OK," I protested, "He's just getting his eye in."

Mum looked at me with bemusement. "I had no idea you were such a fan of David Cameron," she said.

"Who's David Cameron?" I asked. "If we're talking Downing Street then I assume we are talking of Larry, the Downing Street cat." Whose form on the mousing hasn't been all that had been hoped when he took on the role. But imagine if peoples were allowed to vote cats in or out!

"No," said my mum, "I think Larry stays whatever happens."

"In which case I have no opinion," I said, "Vote for the one you like."

"I'm really going to miss people pretending to be interested in my views when all this is over," said my mum.

Josie and I have never pretended to be interested in mum's opinion. On anything!


We got chicken

April 27th 2015 10:40 pm
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For my Gotcha Day. I was enjoying my delicious piece when I noticed Josie chomping away too.

"Hey!", I said, "It's not her Gotcha Day."

"I think she deserves something for putting up with you all this time," said my mum.

I thought not. I walked over, gave Josie the look and she surrendered her piece to me.

"It's OK Poppet," said my mum to Josie, "Have his original piece. It's larger anyway."

"Is it by crikey!" I rushed back as Josie started eating. She had enough of the toing and froing so grabbed it and ran off with me in hot pursuit, morsels of chicken shredding as we bickered.

"And this is why you don't get chicken very often,"said my mum. Rather meanly I thought.

Anyway I now have a mouse for her thanks to Mietzi and it's a special mosie as it didn't make her scream. And also thanks to Ashlynne for my rosette (Yes - peoples need to adopt pets. It's not good for peoples to live without animals!) and to Grace and Mac and family for my hugs!


My Gotcha Day

April 26th 2015 10:31 pm
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Yes - Saturday marked four years since I arrived here.

"And you've loved every minute, haven't you?" I told my mum.

"Mostly yes," she replied.


"I didn't like the mouse or the birds," she said but I think she's only trying to make me feel better because I haven't caught any yet so far this year. Don't worry. I will!

Then she dressed up nicely and I thought it was good of her to make the effort but off she went. I supposed she had gone to buy me something as a treat. But she didn't come back for ages and ages.

Apparently she went out celebrating with some people friends and forgot all about me. Hmph! Thank goodness for my wonderful Catster friends who sent me presents to mark the occasion. Thank you to you all.


Only herself to blame

April 22nd 2015 10:45 pm
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Mums should stay home in the evenings and entertain their kitties.

Yesterday my mum went out all evening pretty much. When she came in she wanted to go straight to bed. Josie and I wanted to play tag. So everyone did what they wanted to do.

Turns out two cats having a marvelous chase around the flat and mum sleeping are incompatible activities.

"Couldn't you have done this while I was out?" grumbled my mum.

No - we slept while she was out. Added to the sleep we had all day that left us pretty much exploding with happy energy. We had to burn it off somehow. You know those brilliant chases where you both end up with big fluffy tails in the excitement? It was one of those.

Mum is grumpy this morning as she reckons she needed more sleep and less cat bouncing last night.

"Will you stay home tonight?" I asked.

She said she will. Excellent. Our plan worked!!


Josie is not normal

April 21st 2015 10:27 pm
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I was on my bed snoozing yesterday, no sunbeam as it was later in the evening, but I was pretty contented just the same. I was woken by my mum. "What are you doing, you peculiar creature?"

"Just sleepin......oh - I see." She was talking to Josie. Of course she was. There is nothing peculiar about me!

"I want to see what's under the cushions," explained Josie as she burrowed.

Mum helpfully lifted them so Josie could squiggle under.

"There's nothing, just sofa," said my mum.

"And what's under the sofa?" asked Josie, continuing her burrowing.

"That can't be good for the sofa and you won't be able to dig through," said my mum watching Josie in bemusement.

"But I must try," responded that crazy tortie, redoubling her efforts.

Mum looked at me as if this was some cat thing that I could explain but I have no idea what goes on in Josie's head so I just sighed and buried my head in my paws.

Eventually Josie wore herself out and fell asleep in a heap of cushion and throw that she had disturbed in her diggings. So we probably never will find out what's inside the sofa!


Definition of Happy

April 20th 2015 10:29 pm
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Yesterday evening I had a run in the garden in the sunshine so I had happy legs. Then I came in and ate some biscuits so I had a happy tummy. Then I found my mum and we had a snuggle so I had a happy heart.

Then I curled up on my bed which was all toasty warm in the sun and dozed off. Every now and then I would wake up and have a luxurious stretch.

"You look pretty contented there," said my mum.

I would say I was the definition of Happy right then!

And this is just the start of summer. Lots more happy days to go!!

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