July 11th 2011 7:51 pm
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So sorry it's taken this long to do this. Mom had every intention of getting this done earlier today and our internet was down all day long! There was a massive power outage all over New England because of the heat. We still had regular power (thank god) but the power went out for like a minute and blew a major transformer for the internet system for the whole northeast. So mom had no way to answer emails, come onto Catster, nothing. Grrrr.
Anyways! On to thanking all of our wonderful friends for visiting my diary yesterday and today and helping my meowmy through my 3 year anniversary at the bridge. It wasn't as bad for her as last year. WOW that was a hard one. Not to say that she won't all of a sudden get sad because she almost did tonight. But you know how that goes.
Very special thanks to: Milo, Smokey Joe & family; Nikolai; Tigger; Skylar & family; Beepers, Ashlynne & family; Misha angel; Charley Bleau Eyes & family; Purrcy; Hazel Lucy; Bugsy & family; Annabelle & family; BK & family; Big Harry & family; Bootbox; Maizie & family; Luke & family; Cody & family; Blizzard & family; Bella & family; The Drifter & family; Anonymouse!; Monida; Kitty Pryde & family; Kally Kat; Xena & family; Nadia & Gump; The fabulous Tabbies of Trout Towne; Colette & family; Skids! I think that's everyone.
Also want to say thank you SO FURRY MUCH to everyone for the beautiful, touching and heartfelt emails, pawmails, poems, hugs, kisses, purrs and everything else. Again we want to express how very lucky we are. This is truly a place of love and support and the thing that got mom through it the most is knowing that she was never alone. If she did start to have a hard time, she could come here and talk about it. Still, she may need to do that at some point. Sometimes there's a delayed reaction. For now we're concentrating on the kitties and humans we need to help.
Please purr hard for our good friend Pharoah Loki who's had a very high fever yesterday and today. He's not any worse so that's good but they are waiting for his blood test results.
Also our friend Artie who is now a tripod. He had his surgery today and is doing well! He'll be going home tomorrow so continue to purr for a fast recovery.
I think that's all for now. Mom has a bunch of emails and catching up to do! Thank you all again and we just can't express enough how much we love you all. You are our ROCK.
Love Alex & family
July 10th 2011 8:31 am
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Well, it's 3 years today my little girl went to the bridge. 3 years ago today my life changed forever and I had no idea at the time how much. 3 years ago today I lost my daughter, my soul mate, my sunshine. Why she had to die in order for me to do all of this I don't know. I had tried making a bargain with god that if she could live, I'd spend the rest of my life helping other kitties with these diseases. Still, he took her away. I was very, very angry. Sometimes I still am. Why couldn't she have been the one to live? Why did she have to suffer so much and leave me the traumatic way she did? She was the sweetest baby that ever lived.
It's okay, I'm not going to spend the day crying and sad. I've done enough of that these last 3 years. Losing 2 family members within 2 days at the end of June exhausted me to no end. I say this all now, but it's early. I may change my mind later and the tears might just flow without my control. Who knows. But however I feel without her it doesn't change anything. She's really gone and she's really not coming back.
It's getting harder after 3 years to remember all those little details. I have to really think hard, although I wrote them all down and they are in the back of my memory tucked away for safe keeping. It's better this way. To bring them all up to the surface again would cause my soul to ache. But yes, I will spend the day remembering the good times. The day she told me "I'm yours now and there's nothing you can do about it. So just give in and love me, MOL". That was the day I KNEW I had received an angel in my life. She was with me for only 5 years. Way too short a time. Now she's an angel again and guides me to the kitties that need our help.
I hope those kitties know what a special and beautiful guardian they have on their shoulders, wrapping her wings around them for comfort and support. They are very, very lucky indeed. I see her wings growing bigger and bigger as time goes by. Her presence is still here in the house and I see her out of the corner of my eye, running and playing with Finney and Lacey. Letting me know she's fine and she's keeping her eye on them, (which is no easy task, MOL). Let's face it...life changes on a whim and the ultimate struggle is to learn to adjust to a new reality in the course of that one day. It's harsh but it's the way things are.
I hate the word death, even though I know death isn't pretty, it can peaceful sometimes and other times gruesome. I wish we said something like "they've moved away to live in another dimension". Or "they've been picked in a raffle to live on a beautiful cloud in a luxurious place full of love and happiness". That sounds so much better. Don't you think? So that's what I'm going to say today.
3 years ago today, Alex was picked to live in a gorgeous place full of love, peace and happiness. Have a wonderful day at the rainbow bridge my beautiful angel girl. Party your little heart out, fly from cloud to cloud and jump and run after other kitties. Love each other there and know that someday I will be able to hold you again in my arms the way I used to and I will kiss you a thousand times over to make up for lost time. Until that day, I will miss you every second.
Love you with every fiber of my being
Do what you have to do (Sarah McLachlan)
July 6th 2011 9:48 pm
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Hi everyone, short and sweet, I promised my angel friend Vern I'd try and help this family. This poor woman is in hospice dying of a brain tumor. They are adopting out 3 of her kitties. Not sure where the others are going, they must have a home already. But here's the page:
owner is dying, cats need a home immediately!
Please visit their page and see if you know ANYONE who would take them. Spread the word as much as you can okay? They need our help.
Thank you so much.
June 30th 2011 11:10 am
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Hi everyone, I just read this on msncb.com and really wanted to share it. It's so beautiful and speaks volumes about how we turn to each other on the web to help us grieve the loss of our furry families. What a "lucky" dog Lucky was to have someone that loved him this much. He's been an inspiration to so many. Read the entire article if you can. Everything this man feels and has felt is what we've all experienced. Kudos to him for sharing this lovely and painful chapter in his life.
When Lucky died: A grief observed, on social media
June 20th 2011 6:33 pm
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Hi everyone, mom got this in her email today and felt given all that's been going on, she thought it was very wise and purrrfect timing. Enjoy!
Written by Regina Brett, 90 years old, of Cleveland, Ohio
To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most requested column I've ever written.
My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:
1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42. The best is yet to come...
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."
June 16th 2011 9:37 am
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Hello everyone, Alex's mom here. I need to talk if you all don't mind. I lost a dear friend yesterday morning and I'm very sad about it. My ex boyfriend of 10 years who is STILL my VERY best friend in the world, he lives across the street from me. His dad passed away yesterday after having a horrible year. For all intents and purposes he was my father in law for 10 years. He treated me like his daughter. He was very far from a perfect man, and had some faults that didn't sit well with me. But he was a loving man who would do anything for his family and friends and he's taken care of me on more than one occasion. He wasn't even Rick's real father. He married Rick's mom when Rick and his sisters were young and his real dad deserted them after abusing his mom. When Jim married his mom, he BECAME Rick's dad and always has been.
For many years Rick and I would go over on Saturdays or Sundays and swim in the pool with his mom and dad. His dad would fix fantastic BBQ steaks (they were both amazing cooks!). We ate fresh veggies grown out of his garden. We always sat at the table and laughed our butts off over stupid things but we had a great time. Sat outside and watched all the beautiful wild birds coming to their feeders. You know those small things, those are the times we remember and should remember.
I wonder if mother nature, father time and the reaper even talk to each other before they decide or figure out what they're doing. Yes he was in his 70s and had oodles of health problems. He'd gone into the hospital around Thanksgiving to have a blockage removed and a stent put in. He died on the table and was in ICU for over a month afterwards. He'd formed another clot in his leg and almost lost it. He'd gone through absolute torture in the hospital for months trying to recover enough to go to rehab. He then spent 4 or 5 months in the nursing home going through rehab and finally came home with a clean bill of health.
I think he's only been home since late Feb. or March. He just went to the doctor last week and got a clean bill of health. Doc said he was doing great. But even a doctor isn't God and can't predict something like a pulmonary embolism which entails a great deal of pain before dying quickly. He complained of bad pain on Tuesday night and Rick's mom tried hard to convince him to let her call 911. Nope, wouldn't have it. She gave him some pain meds, went to sleep on the couch to let him have the room in the bed and found him yesterday morning already gone. Now of course she's beating herself up about it.
I know. I know. You don't have to tell me that it was his time, he probably cheated death several times, etc. I just wish if this was meant to happen that it would have been while he was already gone peacefully on the operating table. It would have been so much easier on all of them than to go through ALL of this and have him die this way. I'm sorry, I just feel awful for them, I love them dearly and this is just another example to me of how life & death do whatever it wants and doesn't care how. You all know me, I know you'll tell me to not let myself get torn up. Save your breath please, you know when I love someone I can't help it. This is WHO I AM.
And it not only hurts me deeply to see them like this but it scares me because sooner or later it will be me. My parents are old and have both died several times. I'm so lucky to still have them but one of these days I won't. But for right now, I hurt for my friends and I can see how much damage this whole year has done to his mom. She's a different person, a complete nervous wreck and I'm worried this will send her over the edge.
I contemplated all day yesterday writing about this, I know this isn't the place. But I have to talk to someone and I don't have anybody. Last night Rick texted me and said he hoped wherever he was that Jim was watching the Bruins win. He would have been so happy for his Boston Bruins! Rick is a mess.
Okay, I've poured it out now. I am not sad for me, as I said. I just know what this feels like. And I know you all do too. I've lost MANY people in my life and in my family, some tragically & horrifically. Death should be nothing new to me, and it's not. But I still despise him and the way he works. As any cat would say, sometimes life just blows big fat harry chunks.
Thanks for listening everyone, I just needed to talk about it. I love you all so much. I'm grateful I do have somewhere to go to pour my heart out and let all of my sadness go.
Love, hugs and many thanks
June 9th 2011 5:55 pm
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Lately there have been a lot of kitties having to get checked out because of lumps, bumps, discolorations, weird looking thingamabobbers and whoobewhatees. It's scary, we know. But we were just thinking how proud we are of all you parents that you're so vigilant, observant and persistent, that you check on it right away and get it either taken care of or at least get some piece of mind that everything is okay.
Us kitties can't tell you what's going on and we know that's so tough for you. If only we could talk (I don't think you'd really like that actually, MOL). After Kally Kat had her lump removed from her mammory gland mom sent out that video in her newsletter from a site she found on how to give your kitty a home exam. No one has ever told us they've done it, but we can already tell that you have and that you DO.
We just want to say bravo to you, you make us proud! So many people in this world absolutely could care less to examine our teeth, fur, eyes, ears, etc. They can't be bothered. Because you do these things on a regular basis, you are possibly preventing something or catching something early enough that could maybe have an impact on their health or even their lives.
You're all the best kitty parents we've ever met (cyber met, MOL). We just wanted you to know that, we're proud of you and we think you're all PAWSOME!
2 PAWS UP!!!
May 28th 2011 8:22 pm
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So I was going to write this the other day but then all that happened with my good friend Indiana coming to the bridge very suddenly and I had to abandon my hijinks for awhile. Usually I'm all about being serious and either helping kitties coming to the bridge or sprinkling healing angel dust on them to keep them from coming to the bridge and stuff like that.
But lately I've been having some REAL fun! Mom has pictures of me here in her office and in the living room. I started seeing if I could get Finney and Lacey's attention through my pictures and low and behold it worked! I have them staring at me so hard nothing can break their concentration. HEH HEH HEH. Mom just looks at them and then at my picture and says "what's Alex telling you? Is she telling you that you better be good? Good luck with that Alex!!!!" MOL.
Well, that's part of what I'm telling them. I'm moving my ghosty self around the picture and making them follow me with their eyes, staring at me, gaze fixed, not knowing what to make of it. MOL. This is fun! I only started out doing it to play around and now it's just EASY! These two are fascinated! I think they're finally old enough to LISTEN to me when I call them. Before they were too involved in each other and themselves to care or even stop for a minute. Now it's PAWTY time!
Oh don't worry, I'm not saying anything bad to them. I wouldn't do that, I'm the one who sent them to mom. But it is pretty comical. They won't even blink the whole time. Mom sits there and waves her hand in front of their face and nothing, completely hypnotized. And they only do this at 2 of my pictures that are in the living room.
Finnegan was being quite the brat there for awhile, chewing cords again and trying to rip mom's curtains down. It's like he started his shenanigans all over again out of the blue. I had to do something! Mom kept asking me to. Now if I could only get them to do tricks for me, I'd have everyone up here at the bridge roaring! MOL!
May 25th 2011 7:40 am
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Mommy turned on her computer just now and got the worst news ever. Our dear, dear, sweet, wonderful furriend Indiana is furry, furry sick. He's at a specialist right now and he's having some tests run but his liver is very, very enlarged, his WBC is THROUGH THE ROOF, and he's not doing well. His mommy Kristin is so scared, they're saying it could be cancer or WORSE, that dreaded FIP again. Gosh there are too many FIP deaths lately! We don't know what's going on!
Oh my mommy is so upset. She's good friends with them and Indy's mommy is the nicest and sweetest person and she loves Indy and Kitty Pryde so much. She's blaming herself and we know that it's not anything she did! Please, please, please purr as loud as you can and go and offer support. This is making my mommy's eyes leak too and we just can't believe this is happening. It just CAN'T BE!
I had planned on writing a funny diary today for once. I guess I won't be doing that now. All my energy is concentrated on poor Indy. Please angels, if you read this, please sprinkle some healing dust on him! He's just a little guy.
Luv, concerned and upset Alex and furmily
May 5th 2011 9:13 am
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We just wanted to say thank mew to everyone for all of my pawmails, well wishes and prezzies for my DDP earlier this week. Sorry we've been incognito, mom took little Vern's passing pretty hard and needs some time for herself to recharge. Every once in awhile she gets extremely emotionally involved in one of the sick kitties she's helping. Even though we knew there was a strong possibility he wouldn't make it, it was still a shock and mom was sad for him and his family.
Anyways, we're just explaining why we haven't been around. she's been taking care of herself this week, doing errands (groceries today, blech), taking long walks, etc. Plus Finney and Lacey have REALLY been acting out lately so she suspects they feel her stress.
Hope everyone is doing well and thank you again for all our gifts and for your friendship. Sorry we can't thank everyone individually, there's no food in the house, gots to fix that! She needs nom noms to keep up her strength. Allergies are REALLY bad here and she hasn't been feeling well so I do not want her to get sick. When she does, it's hard to get better.
We may not be around that much lately but we're still here if anyone needs help. Just shoot us a pawmail, we're still getting them and we'll be very glad to help our friends out. If you happen to see a kitty in the forum that you think we could help with, feel free to pawmail us because we might not be checking it as much as before. There's so much more work to be done on our website and stuff, mom says it's time to get crackin'!
Thank you everyone, we love you all lots!
Angel Alex and furmily
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