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Hilda at Large

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White Chocolate

March 21st 2006 6:42 pm
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I found out from my good friend Monkey that I am a “white chocolate kitty flavored cookie”! I always knew I tasted good but I never could identify my yummy flavor. Monkey has it right, though—it is white chocolate! Now maybe my humans will understand why I’m always grooming myself. Wouldn’t you if you tasted like white chocolate?

In other news: my vet revealed that I, Hildegarde, am the slasher of my own face ("Hmm...same place every time, eh? And the cats are never violent enough with each other to draw blood?" After she said it a couple of times, it finally dawned on my humans. They are nice but not especially quick.)

I don't completely understand why I do it myself. It’s like I become another Hilda. One minute I’m sitting in the sun. The next minute, a dark cloud passes over the window, and before I realize it, I’ve slashed my own face and I’m no longer Hilda. Instead, I’m SCARFACE. And nobody better mess with Scarface!


That's My Business!

August 7th 2005 3:52 pm
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Last night, A. announced to the entire house that I was using the litterbox. That's my business!

I don't go around alerting everyone when A. is using his litterbox!


Scarface's Demons

July 30th 2005 7:47 am
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I am Scarface again.

I haven't revealed who caused the scratch on my face. The matter is under investigation by H. She asked A. who he thought did it. Based on a formula of 62 + 71 - x, he determined that Elvin is the culprit. H. checked Miep and Elvin's claws on the night that it happened but she didn't find any clues. Nevertheless, they are suspected and have been warned not to leave the premises until the investigation is complete. I could tell H. and A. who did it but I'm no squealer!

Last night I got in trouble for eating the sisal bits off of my scratching post. I couldn't help it. It tasted so good. H. grabbed me and said that she was going to "squeeze the badness out of me" and "exorcise" my "evil ways". This is apparently done by hugging me. I hate hugs! A. said that the evil probably just flew into Elvin's body when it left mine.


Dilute Calico--That's Me!

July 19th 2005 6:34 am
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After my dilute calico markings became more prominent, H. researched the calico breed a bit on the internet. Apparently calicos can be any breed (or combination of breeds) and exist with both long and short hair. The term "calico" refers to color markings rather than breed. The standard calico has black, orange, and white markings. The dilute calico, which is more rare, has gray, cream, and white markings (diluted colors of the standard calico). I love being a dilute calico!


Found Object Toy

June 13th 2005 8:23 am
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I found a wonderful new toy last week when H. was cleaning out the litterboxes. She ripped the string off of the top of the cat litter and as the string (and some of the paper) drifted to the floor, I ran off with it. H. ran after me to make sure I didn't eat it (silly H.!). Then she dangled it in the air for me to jump at. I'm very good at standing on my hind legs while I bite at it. I like to sing a little song while I am playing with it too. I'm not greedy (like Miep); I share my new toy with my siblings (although I have been known to land on their heads while I am playing with it). H. will only let me play with it when she is around, though. I guess she's afraid that I'll get too excited and eat my new toy.


Do the Plopsy!

June 1st 2005 1:34 pm
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I have a new dance. I call it the "plopsy". I like to lay on the laptop when H. is using it. It's so very warm, and I'm in the perfect spot for H. to admire my beauty. At first, I was content to occassionally stroll across the laptop. H. put a halt on this activity when the "p" key started sticking. Then, I started laying on the top left corner of the laptop. Next thing you know, H. is complaining that the "q" key was sticking, so she started putting her hand underneath me when I would lay on the laptop. I heard her complain that her hand was falling asleep underneath the weight (what can I say--I have very heavy fur). That didn't stop me. Now the space bar is apparently sticking. I don't know why these humans selected such a faulty machine--keys breaking left and right! H. has become more aggressive about keeping me off of the laptop, so I've had to up the dose of cuteness. Now when I jump up by the laptop, I plop down at the very outer edge of the laptop. After H. places her hand underneath me, I get up and plop down on more of the laptop. I keep doing this until I cover as much of the keyboard as possible. H. is finally catching onto the dance, though. Last night, she told A., "Hilda's doing the plopsy!"


Like Grapes and Oranges

May 11th 2005 6:30 am
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As many humans know, cats have much better hearing than humans. So why does my A. think he can whisper and I won't hear him? H. has even told him that he doesn't know how to whisper (comment from H.: his whisper is as soft as a braying mule). So last night, when he pointed at me and told H. that that I'm "getting fat again", of course I heard him. How mean can you get! Luckily, H. pointed out that it only looks like I'm gaining weight because the loose skin on my stomach is more prominent (from my weight loss!). She also pointed out that because Hetty Miep is so small, I look larger in comparison--like looking at an orange next to a grape. Of course the orange looks huge!

In other news, H. killed Squeeker III this morning. She threw it too hard (it's a mouse not a football, H.!) and it wouldn't quit squeeking. Then she tried to sneak off with it and I yelled at her. Luckily, she had Squeeker IV waiting in the special toy cabinet.


Goodbye, Patrick

May 3rd 2005 5:59 pm
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I’m feeling very sad right now. I just found out that my friend Patrick passed away yesterday. I'll really miss reading his diaries. I loved finding out about his secret caves and the songs that his mom would sing to him.

Goodby, Patrick! I hope you have a grand time with your little doggie friend. The two of you will probably come up with some great songs about your adventures!


Surgery for Squeeker III

April 30th 2005 7:55 am
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The other day, my special little friend Squeeker Mouse III became very ill. It started out slowly: a litle rip in Squeeker's back seam. After a couple of days, I could plainly see Squeeker's hard black insides. Then, Squeeker III's insides fell outside! It was horrible (like reliving Squeeker I's death all over again). I was afraid H. would try to throw Squeeer III away like she did with Squeeker I, so I sat on Squeeker III to protect him. H. promised that she wouldn't hurt Squeeks, though.

I watched her perform the surgery on Squeeks. It was touch and go for a couple of minutes, but now Squeeker III is back to normal. H. said I made a good little nurse. I'm making sure to exercise Squeeker III regularly. He needs his physical therapy.


RIP Squeeker II. Long live Squeeker III!

March 18th 2005 6:39 am
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This morning, H. broke Squeeker II! It's bad enough that she threw Squeeker I away (after I spent months killing Squeeker I, H. said that Squeeker I's stuffing was coming out and that it was time to retire him). I guess H. was too rough when she threw Squeeker II because it wouldn't quit squeeking! I didn't know what to do with it--normally it only squeeks when I put it in my mouth or bat at it with my paw. I slowly backed away from it. I thought if I just gave it some time, it would return to normal.

I caught H. sneaking out of the house with Squeeker II (still squeeking away within her clenched fist) and I gave her an earful. She gave me another squeeker mouse (Squeeker III), but it's not really the same. If H. wanted her own Squeeker mouse to play with, why couldn't she take Squeeker III?

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