June 8th 2011 2:45 pm
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Well, mommy didn't want to tell you guys this, because it might be nothing and she didn't want to worry our friends, but she can't keep it inside and she thought it would be good to have all you kitties positively purring for me. Today, while asking for a belly rub, mommy noticed a splotch on my tummy. It's a little tiny thing, barely as big as the head of a pin and while it is dark colored, it's not that much darker than my fur so it was well hidden. Who knows how long it has been there. She felt around it and I didn't seem to have any complaints or pain, but mommy is a worry wort. She took a close up picture of it and brought it to the vets this afternoon. She didn't want to pack me off to the vets and stress me out if it was nothing, but she wanted to play it safe. She just got home from there.
The girl at the desk took a look at it and wasn't sure what it was. She asked how my behavior was and mommy said she hadn't noticed any changes in my cat-attude recently. The girl said, if mommy thought so, she could bring me in. Mommy firmly believes it is better to spend 45$ to be told I'm fine than 1000$ in a month for something extreme, so she's bringing me in. I have an appointment tomorrow at 3. I'll let you kitties know how it goes. I'm not going to upload the picture right now because mommy doesn't want to hear any scary news right now from anyone. Since I have an appointment tomorrow it isn't worth it to worry about it right now. Besides, the picture makes it look REALLY big and REALLY brown and scary when in actuality it is very tiny and barely noticeable which is why mommy just found it. I'm still full of Moe Moe spunk and power too, so we're hoping it's just a kitty wart or something that isn't dangerous. Better safe than sorry though, right kitties?
Just do me a favor please? Purr that it really is nothing? We're pretty hopeful, but please purr all the same? We're going to stay positive till then, but positive purrs would help mommy calm down! We promise to let you know tomorrow what's up and if anything more has to happen. Don't worry about me yet kitties, I'm confident I still have a lot of crankies to get out of me!
June 6th 2011 1:23 pm
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Well kitties, the big day finally arrived! My mommy opened her etsy shop! HOORAY! Although, I'm kind of cranky that she named it after River! Who does he think he is? Anyways, here you go kitties, link and all!
Happy River Dances Catnip Company
There are 4 available of each toy but she only has one listed. If you really want something and it isn't available just let her know and she'll re-list it for you. All toys are also available with custom orders if you want, just send her a message if you don't like the fabric choices but still want the toy!
I hope you all find the toy of your dreams, I promise, I only tried to steal one cigar toy!
June 5th 2011 12:48 pm
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Oh kitties, the indecencies I have suffered! The indignities! The humiliations! The pain! Oh the pain! Have I suffered! Let me tell you kitties!
A few nights ago, I was feeling particularly chatty one night. I was talking up a storm. Mommy and daddy should feel honored that I want to talk to them so much but instead they complained I was giving them headaches! GASP! The NERVE! Me? Giving them headaches? I have a beautiful voice! humph!
That night after they had been in bed about 10 or 15 minutes, I jumped up and politely asked mommy for a few more nom noms. She tired to ignore me, humph again! Well, that's very rude! I walked up to her pillow and sat my butt down on it and poked her with my little tiny Moe Moe paws that she finds so cute and asked again. All I wanted was a little nom nom. Mommy finally relented. She got up and gave me a very little bit of nom nom which I promptly ate up! NOMMMY NOMMY NOMMY YUMMY!
Well, turns out, a half hour later I was hungry again. Since I had been able to wake mommy up once, I decided to try again. She reinforced the bad behavior after all! This time I was not successful however. Mommy got cranky and pulled me under the blankets to hug. ICKY! That wasn't what I wanted at all! We repeated this game all night long until finally around 3 or 4am mommy had had ENOUGH according to her. She sat bolt upright in bed and snatched me up, flipped me over, and looked into my eyes. "MOE MOE!" She snapped "You're being naughty! You're being a brat! STOP IT!"
I whimpered at her...'oh mommy... the pain... you're hurting me... oh mommy I suffer so... I know this is how you hold me all the time but oh mommy... this time it hurts so much... why are you abusing me mommy? don't you LOVE me anymore mommy? I'm SUCH a good Moe Moe!" I thought I was rather convincing, mommy didn't seem to buy it though. She says she knows what my pain mrats sound like and what my faking it mrats sound like. Faking it mrats? I don't have faking it mrats! I would NEVER fake it!
She put me down but this time she got up and picked something up from the kitchen and brought it back to bed. Well, of course I wasn't going to let this little incident go, so I jumped back up on the bed and started to walk up to her Mrating all the way when... SPLAT!
SQUIRT BOTTLE RIGHT TO THE FACE!!! I was in a state of shock! My MOMMY had SQUIRTED ME! She NEVER squirts me! I'm her good girl Moe Moe toes! River gets the squirt bottle cause he's got naughty toes! NEVER me! I NEVER get the squirt bottle. Then, to add insult to injury, she told me I was a BAD Moe Moe! I couldn't believe it! It was like she wasn't even my mommy anymore! My mommy would never call me a bad Moe Moe! I was so offended I ran away and hid. I did come back a little later, but this time I just slipped under the blankets to sleep with them. I was so chilly from that squirt to the face! I still haven't forgiven her. I'm thinking of moving out I'm so offended by all of this!
She's taken to sleeping with the squirt bottle next to the bed now. What's a girl to do? I don't think I deserved this! Last night she got mad at me and River cause I stole one of the cigar toys for her shop and River stole a heart and we ran away with them. She says she makes us toys all the time and we don't play with them, but once she's making them for someone else suddenly they are greatest thing in the world. We didn't get the squirt bottle for this but she did lecture us a lot, and that's almost as bad! I tell you kitties, the sufferings I have to put up with! Who wants to have me come visit for the week? I'm thinking of running away for a little while to scare mommy into appreciating me again!
*Note from Mommy*
Simone is clearly fine, and I would never hurt her. She always whimpers when she's unhappy about something after the yelling hasn't worked because she's figured out we respond fast when we think she's hurt. She does it all the time after she and River wrestle and she doesn't want to play anymore, she'll suddenly drop over in the middle of playing and whimper like he's hurt her. He looks as confused as we do. We've stopped falling for it, but it doesn't stop her from trying. It's like having a 13 year old teenage girl in the house. Since the squirt bottle night though, Simone has been much better about not waking people up. The diet she's on seems to be going decently well, and this was just her last staged offense in trying to beat us at it. I should never have relented and gave her food the first time, but I was so sleepy.
I also think Simone has finally forgiven me since this morning she slept snuggled in my arms again purring. I don't know what she wrote about me up there, but I'm sure she's over reacting!
May 26th 2011 1:17 pm
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This diary entry is pretty much targeted at our friends who have received some of our catnip toys, but there's some exciting news for the rest of your too... hehehe! I'm a shameless promoter as my mommy would say!
Calling all Kitties for the chance to be super amazing kitty Models!
Mommy is going to launch her etsy shop! That's right, after ALL this time mommy is finally going to make it an launch it! We're looking for some super duper gorgeous kitties to be the models for the pictures! Since all toys will be customized for each kitty who orders one, we want the pictures to feature a kitty friend playing with the toy! The picture must be a clear shot of the kitty and the toy. If you kitties out there want to launch your future careers in the gorgeous business, if you want to earn lots of nom noms and chin skritchies, and be told every day how amazingly good looking you are, AND if you have pictures of yourself with our toys... pawmail me or leave a comment here. Mommy will send your her email address and you can email her the high res versions of your pictures! The best looking kitties (well the kitties who fit our needs for each picture, we could never chose the best kitties among all of you!) will be featured on her etsy page! Come one, come all! Mommy needs your help to make this work!
And now... a French lesson!
What cats do!
Je Miaule = I Meow (Well you may meow... I MRAT!)
Je Ronronne = I Purr (I have a thunder purr!)
Je Dors = I sleep (oh oh oh!!! This one is my favorite!!!)
Je Reste assis et je regarde fixement dans le vide pendant des heures = I sit and stare at nothing for hours on end
Je cours rapidement d'une piece a l'autre sans aucune raison apparente = I run rapidly from room to room for no apparent reason (I.E. the zoomies! I think this is River's favorite)
May 24th 2011 1:24 pm
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The ever sweet Lacey asked me how I had slept last night so I thought I should update everyone on it so that no one is left worrying about little old sweetie pie me! hehehe!
The good news is that I slept like a baby last night! I jumped right up on the bed and curled up like a good girl where I always sleep and went right to bed. I never woke up and cried or trembled until daddy was up and walking around this morning and I was hungry. I just needed some nom noms! hehehe! Sleeping really uses up all your energy! A girl's gotta eat doesn't she?
I'm snoozing in the closet again this afternoon but that's because I like to roam around sleeping in different rooms and places during the day. I was hiding from mommy when she was on the phone cause it was too loud for my little Moe Moe ears. The good news thought kitties is that I appear to have recovered from whatever scaries got me last night. I'm all better now! Thank catness! Mommy and daddy wish they knew what caused it, but I guess they'll never know for sure. It does appear to be a one time thing though, which is very good news as far as me and the family are concerned! Thanks for caring about me kitties and worrying about me. All your advice and love was very appreciated, especially with all the bad stuff going on in the world, to take time to care about me means a lot. Love you all!
May 23rd 2011 10:50 am
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Last night was a rough night for me, and I still don't know why. Mommy and daddy were gone all of yesterday because they were out having funs or something like that. When they came home we pretty much all went straight to bed. Well let me tell you, there was SOMETHING in that house last night. I don't know what it was, but something had me super spooked. I was all poofed up big and scary, I was crying in fear, I curled up in the closet nook and trembled. All of this happened at around 3 in the morning. I woke mommy up and she was so scared for me. She brought in the nom noms and brother and locked all of us in the bedroom/bathroom area with her. She closed off the closet and brought me to bed with her. She didn't know why I wasn't snuggling with them like I usually do so she held me in her arms and I trembled and cried and whimpered. I wasn't hurt, I was scared. Mommy didn't know what I was scared of and she and daddy were really worried about me.
Eventually being locked in the little space paid off. River came and slept by mommies head so he could keep an eye on me and mommy and daddy let me sleep between them. There doesn't seem to be anything wrong and I'm fine now, but I was so scared last night at 3am. What do you think it was kitties?
Just so you all don't get too worried though... I'll still give you a french lesson today!
Today we will be learning about
Les quartre Aliments de Base Chat = The four cat food groups!
Or in other words... the four groups of nom noms!
Une: = One:
La Bouffe Granulee = The Dry Food
The dry food is ok but it's not my favorite...
Deux: = Two:
Les Conserves = The canned food
yummy yummy yummy in my tummy tummy tummy! NOM NOM tastic!
Trois: = Three:
Les Vivres Fraiches = The 'natural' foods
I'm pretty sure these are the things River wants to catch and eat...
L'Oiseau = The Bird
La Souris = The Mouse
Le Poisson = The Fish
La Vilaine Grosse Bestiole = The Big Ugly Bug
I think that last one is River's favorite, he's always trying to eat La Vilaine Grosse Bestiole!
And finally our last food group...
Quatre: = Four:
Les Aliments Tabous = The Forbidden Foods
We've all had our run ins with Les Aliments Tabous! Which one is your favorite?
L'Elastique = The Rubber Band
Le Bout de Ficelle = The Piece of String
La Composition de Fleur Sechees = The Dried Flower Arrangement
Le Trombone = The Paperclip
Les Cheveux d'Ange = The Tinsel
La Plante en Pot = The Potted Plant
Les Aliments Qu'On a Laisses Sans Surveillance sur la Table = The food left unguarded on the table!
I think my favorite is either Le Bout de Ficelle or Les Aliments Qu'On a Laisses Sans Surveillance sur la Table! What about you kitties?
May 17th 2011 5:01 pm
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... in oh so many ways kitties. Oh do these rainy days make my belly chilly and sad. It's all dark and rainy out right now and I'm sulking in the closet. There's a great little nook mommy made for us at the way back of the closet where we can hide. If people come into the house who we don't want to see or if we are stressed out we can go back here and feel nice and safe. She just bought us a new tent that has glow in the dark stars on it to put back here as well to help build up the safe nook for us. The best part about the nook though? It's really easy to warm up cause it's so small and safe and there are so many blankets! It's nice and cool in the summer and easy to warm up in the winter!
Anyways... enough about my great nook! The point is, I'm back here trying to warm up all day. I want the sun to come back. Mommy is thrilled about all the rain, she says we need it. She also hopes the heat stays away until at least June, apparently the AC bill is very high in the summer and she hates having to turn it on so she wants to get in all the water we can before the heat wave rolls in. I disagree! I want sun mommy! I NEED SUN! I'm waiting for my sun to come back mommy... I'm so cold!
The only good part of the day was that this is the one week mommy is taking off before she dives into full work again. This is her reward for finishing up graduate school, 1 week. She slept SOOOOOOOOOOOO late this morning and I was right there with her. It was THE BEST! Mommy won't admit how long she slept because she is embarrassed about it, she thinks she wasted the day. I say that's silly... sleeping is NOT wasting the day, am I right kitties? Here's hoping she sleeps in again tomorrow and doesn't wake up early... I love a good warm bed!
and now... as promised, your French Lesson for this diary entry! All of these phrases are pulled right from my new book, "French for Cats" Let's all learn some great French together!
What do we call a dog in French?
Le Mauvais Chien = the bad dog!
What do we ask our parents to do about Le Mauvais Chien?
Je vous en prie, tuez le chien (de la maison d'a cote) = Please kill the dog (next door (in case it's a neighbors dog you want to get rid of!))
How do we make sure this happens? By using another enemy of the beloved cat!
L'Enfant Mechant - The Mean Child
All you have to do to get your parents to get rid of the dog is...
Je Voudrais que le mauvais chien morde l'enfant mechant = I wish the bad dog would bite the mean child
next time, let's discuss the different groups of nom noms!
May 15th 2011 12:33 pm
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Hello kitties (or should I say Bonjour!)
Mommy brought me a very weird present yesterday that she found at a little shop downtown. It's a book. I know, what could a kitty possibly need with a book? Well... this is a special book written just for kitties! It's called "French for cats; all the French your Cat will ever need to know". I guess mommy wants me to learn the language of the origin of my name!
You see kitties, three years ago before mommy and daddy moved to CA and adopted me and brother they were going to move to Paris, France. Things changed and daddy took the job in CA instead, but they never gave up on wanting to move to Europe someday. Now, of course, so long as we have River in our family that won't happen. Because of River's FIV he can't cross national borders without being confiscated, and mommy and daddy would never ever in a million years part with River. They didn't intend to adopt a kitty that couldn't travel internationally but they bonded with River so I guess we're keeping him (despite the fact that he just ran across the keyboard while mommy was typing MY diary and put in all these funny letters she had to remove later!) I might be a cranky gal sometimes, but overall I'm happy we're keeping River. He's my brofur and I love him! I guess I still get to learn French though, just in case they ever change the laws and let River travel!
I've decided to take it upon myself to teach you kitties some French too, cause this is one handy little book let me tell you! It covers everything, and I do mean EVERYTHING a kitty would need to know! So, from now on, prepare yourselves for a French lesson at the end of all my diary entries and we can all learn to whine at our parents in more than one language! hehehe!
Bye bye for now kitties from Simone the Siamese
or... in French Simone le Siamois!
(Next time stay tuned for instructions on how to get rid of the dog... in French!)
May 12th 2011 12:31 pm
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Oh kitties, I have some very sad news to report. Mommy made sure to write River's entry first today because he has happy news, I am taking on the burden of reporting some very sad news.
Today mommy was driving in early in the morning to give her students their final exam. She was approaching the campus when she saw a little black kitty dart out from behind a parked car. A silver car driving past him hit him and kept going. Mommy slammed on the breaks and jumped out of the car. How could you keep driving? It wasn't necessarily this driver's fault. Sometimes bad things happen by accident. Sometimes people hit people by accident, let alone little kitties, but why wouldn't you stop? Mommy ran over to the little kitty. Kitty was not in good shape. This poor beautiful little black kitty was gone within seconds. The driver never stopped their car and the driver's behind mommy got all angry at her for blocking traffic. Mommy had tears in her eyes. She took kitty into the car and drove into a parking lot to stop. Kitty was hit right in front of a bunch of apartments and he looked like he might have had a family somewhere. Someone hit beautiful kitty and took him away from his family and didn't even stop their car. They were going to leave his little kitty shell on the pavement behind a parked car. What if kitty had been alive still and could have been saved? Mommy wrapped kitty in a towel she had in the trunk of the car and took a picture of kitty with her phone. She went to the apartment manager's office on the grounds and asked if they had anyone with a kitty like him. They didn't think so but they said they'd take kitty. Mommy was very reluctant to let kitty go, she wanted to make sure that if he had a family they knew what happened to him and didn't have to spend days searching for him never to find him, or worse yet, find his little body dumped in a trash can. The girl working the desk seemed genuinely concerned with kitty though and promised to bury him over by the river if he didn't have a home. Mommy relented and handed over kitty's little body. Poor kitty. She gave a description of the car but since she only got a few numbers on the plate and the vague model she doubts anything will ever happen. Hitting kitties with cards isn't even a crime in lots of places, even if you drive away like that.
Poor little kitty. Mommy wanted to take him to the vets to see if he had a microchip but she had to go give the exams. She hopes the girl behind the desk will do that. Mommy begged her to. She said if she couldn't do it, mommy would find the time to. She promised to do it. I hope she does it. I hope if kitty has a family they find out what happened to him. It may hurt, but it would be better than never knowing. The girl at the desk had a picture of her boyfriend and their puppy on her desk. Hopefully she knows what it feels like to love an animal and will do the right thing for kitty.
Can you all please take a moment to purr for kitty? He died this morning around 8am on the road by the university in Sacramento. Please purr for him kitty. Purr that he is at peace and that his family will know what happened to him. If he doesn't have a family, purr that he is at peace now at the rainbow bridge. All you bridge kitties, please go find him. He was a beautiful little black kitty. Find this kitty and tell him mommy is sorry she couldn't save him. Take care of him bridge kitties. Take care of the little kitty who was killed by a thoughtless human early this morning by the university. Help him up to the bridge and play with him. If he has no family, tell him to find Dinah and Eva, they'll watch over him until one day mommy can help him cross the bridge himself. Poor little kitty.
May 7th 2011 7:27 pm
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That's right kitties, the dreaded double kitty hug of doom. That's what I had to suffer yesterday. It was horrible. Allow me to explain to those of you who have never suffered in such a way.
Mommy had her last exam on Friday for her graduate degree. She was so worried when she left. 2 hours later she came home practically dancing and the VERY first thing she did... run right over to me and scoop me up. That's ok, I like being hugged by mommy... by MYSELF! The problem was, she started squeezing me and snuggling me and then she saw River and scooped him up in the OTHER arm and hugged both of us. Our butts were bumped together and mommy was kissing both of our cheeks. It was so horrible. The double hug. I don't share my mommy hugs with any brofur no matter how adorable everyone thinks he is. Icky icky icky double hugs of doom. I guess mommy must have done well on the test. I had to spend the rest of the day dodging her and running from room to room so she wouldn't hug me like that again. River was so stupid he just kept prancing right up to her for the attention. If I didn't know any better, I'd swear he liked that experience! So unbearably gross!
Don't worry kitties... I got back at her last night by taking over her whole pillow. I just tucked myself right under the blankets and rested my head on the pillow next to her, when she woke up this morning, I was still under the blankets but my head was in the center of the pillow and she had NO pillow. he he he! Evil Moe Moe giggles! I showed her!
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