5 Things I Do to My Cats Only When They’re Asleep


I’m not one of those lucky people whose cat allows them to willy-nilly touch his luxurious belly or examine his glorious paw pads. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I envy you people! My cats tease me, lying there with that perfect little hind leg dangling over the edge of a chair, exposing those adorable jellybean toes.

That being said, there is one instance in which my cats will allow me to enjoy the full glory of their fuzzy little bodies: When they are completely crashed. I’m talking zonked — or at least on the very edge of sawing the old logs.

Here are five things my cat will let me do only when he or she is asleep.

1. Paw-pad touching

Would you look at those paw pads — those delicious little spotty beans of love! I cannot get enough of them. Yes, I’m aware those pretty pads tromp through litter boxes, but I don’t care — I must have my time with them. Mostly I love to look at them, examining the shape, color and texture of each little pad. And then I gently poke my finger between the pads and watch the toes fan out into a giant sleepy stretch. I can’t handle it! Wahhhh!!!

2. Peeky-teeth gazing

If you regularly read my posts, you know I am a giant fan of peeky teeth. I especially like the tiny baby-corn front teeth. Don’t you think they look like baby corn? Oh, man. When my cat is sleeping soundly, I can lift his cheek to reveal peeky teeth. I don’t touch them or anything — I only want to gaze at their baby-corn perfection.

3. Belly rubbing and huffing

Kitty belly! As I mentioned, none of my cats allow belly rubs and this just kills me because … well, look at Phoebe’s belly! I could bury my entire face in that floof and get completely lost. This is a serious huffing zone — not for amateur cat huffers, that’s for sure. While any of my three are sawing logs, I can easily go in for unlimited rubs and heavenly huffs.

4. Rumblepurr nosing

OK, this one actually has to be done when the cat is pretty zonked out, but still purring. I lean down and bring the rumbly nose to my ear. I just love the vibration of the purring inside my ear. Sometimes I pretend my cat is telling me secrets.

5. Funny facing

Two weeks ago I wrote about my cat Cosmo’s impressive collection of impressions. The one pictured above is called Rat Face — it’s a longtime favorite in our house. You can bet your boots he won’t let me monkey around with his face when he has all his faculties about him; however, when he’s got at least two paws in dreamland, he’s my little rat, rabbit, lamb and flying squirrel.

What does your cat let you do when he’s zonked out? Tell us in the comments!

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About the Author: Angie Bailey is an eternal optimist with an adoration of all things silly. Loves pre-adolescent boy humor, puns, making up parody songs, thinking about cats doing people things and The Smiths. Writes Catladyland, a cat humor blog, Texts from Mittens (birthed right here on Catster) and authored whiskerslist: the kitty classifieds, a silly book about cats wheeling and dealing online. Partner in a production company and writes and acts in comedy web series that features sketches and mockumentaries. Mother to two humans and three cats, all of which want her to make them food.

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